Chapter 35
35
COLLINS
“The contract ends in five days,” Penny reminds me, as if I could somehow forget.
I’ve been dreading this day since the moment we signed the deal. I knew I’d catch feelings, and I hate myself for not being strong enough to resist this girl’s charm.
But Penelope Josephine Hoffman has burrowed herself into my heart, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it other than embrace the love she has to give to me.
And with doing that, I need to talk to her brothers. I owe them an explanation, but it has to wait. First, I need to clear this earth of Tanner. Maybe when he’s gone, they’ll be in a more relaxed state to even consider the possibility of me being with their sister.
“I don’t want you worrying about anything,” I tell her. “Just focus on taking care of yourself and going to your meetings with Margo. I’ll handle the rest.”
Penny looks at me with trepidation, my words losing their calming effect.
I know her worry is real, as it mirrors my own, but I can’t have her stressed and be able to concentrate on doing my job.
Hearing my phone go off, I rush to get it off the nightstand.
Every time it buzzes, I feel my heart flutter off rhythm, thinking it’s go time.
“Everything okay?” Penny asks, trying to look over my shoulder.
Shielding her from the message, I read my screen.
“Your brothers need me.”
Her hands snake around my waist. “I need you too.”
I lift her hand and kiss each of her fingers one by one. “You have me.”
“I don’t want this to end,” she whispers, and I can’t tell if she’s referring to our lazy time in bed or the future.
“I’ll be back soon.”
“I can stay here?”
“Of course.” I much prefer it that way anyway. “Chris is living across the hall.”
“So, I’ll be safe.”
“Yes.”
It takes all my willpower to leave Penny in bed to get dressed and head to the boxing gym, a favorite meetup location for conducting our business. Being away from her makes me anxious, and it’s hard to think clearly when I’m constantly wondering what she’s doing.
Sure, I have trackers on her, but I much prefer having her within sight.
“I’ll be back soon.”
Her eyes connect with mine as I back out of the bedroom. “You better be back.”
“There’s no place I’d rather be than with you, Princess.”
She sucks her bottom lip between her teeth and waves goodbye.
* * *
“Are you up for some sparring?” Graham asks, passing me some gloves.
“Sure,” I say hesitantly. I wasn’t expecting to get a full-on workout this morning, but some vigorous physical exercise always does my body good.
“Awesome.” The eldest Hoffman cracks his knuckles, and I follow him into the ring. “Any word on the handwriting analysis for the mail going to Penny’s apartment?”
“Inconclusive.” I slide on my gloves and tighten them up.
Graham rakes a hand through his hair. “Isn’t that odd?”
“Not when the sample is inadequate. There wasn’t enough to analyze even by the most productive forensic software.”
“Gotcha.”
“Penny had a…” Fuck. I almost said nightmare but stop myself just in time. I don’t need her brother suspecting me of knowing too many intimate details about Penny, her dreams and nightmares included. “Concern over Tanner getting to her at the waterfront during her photoshoot, but I was there that day at the prison.”
“Yeah, and you get daily updates on what is happening behind bars?”
“Yes, and it’s never anything to report. But something keeps bothering me about the whole thing. It’s like I’m awaiting impending doom.”
“You might be.”
My left eye twitches. What’s that supposed to mean?
Graham walks over to the side of the ring and grabs his own pair of gloves and places them onto his fists, readjusting them as needed.
“Where’s Nic?” I ask when the conversation lulls.
“Something came up.”
Okay…
Why is he being so secretive?
I stretch my arms above my head, grabbing my elbows with my gloved hands. Then I stretch out my calves, one at a time.
When we are both warmed up, we get into the ring and bounce around on our feet.
Bumping fists, Graham and I separate to opposite sides of the ring before meeting up in the middle to go head-to-head.
Evenly matched, we each get a few jabs in, moving about the space with quick feet.
The rhythm to boxing is what I enjoy the most. I love getting to know my opponents and striving to predict their reactions. Graham and I have sparred for a while now, so I always appreciate when he incorporates a fight sequence that forces me to think on my feet to counter.
He goes to kick, and I bounce back, causing him to miss.
Then out of my periphery, I see his fist barreling through the air to connect with my flesh in a stinging punch.
“Dammit,” I groan, moving my glove up to see if he broke the skin.
Then he does it again.
This time, I’m caught completely off guard, something that rarely ever happens. Spit flies from my mouth, as my tongue grazes against my teeth. It’s enough to cause the tissue to puncture and fill my mouth with the bitter taste of acid and rust.
“Hell, man,” I say, with a biting edge to my tone.
Strengthening my form, I go back into fighting position, while still staying light on my feet.
And he charges forward again, shoving me against the ropes. My back ignites from the burn, and I use my momentum to stay upright, protecting my face before his fist comes coursing through the air in a full-on attack.
Hopping on my feet, I dodge him by mirroring his movements.
But when I duck a punch, his knee connects with my chin. My head flies back, followed by the rest of me.
Kicking my legs up, I bounce back to my feet. Blood splatters the mat. I can’t even tell where it’s coming from at this point. I just know I’m the source.
Then Graham throws his entire body at me. Tugging my thighs toward him, he sweeps my feet from underneath me. My back crashes to the mat followed by my head.
My vision goes black, and when it finally focuses again, it’s Graham Hoffman’s livid face that will haunt me forever.
His fist pounds into the side of my head, until I maneuver myself out of the hold and take control back.
I pin him to the mat but don’t take out my aggressions on him, like he has me.
“What the fuck, man?”
He has the nerve to look unaffected. “What?”
I pant from the exertion, trying to get my breathing back to a normal aerobic state. “Are we sparring or brawling?” I snarl.
After several seemingly long seconds, Graham growls in what I can only assume is frustration—over what, I’m still trying to figure out for sure.
“I trusted you,” he chokes out. “I fucking trusted you, and you went behind my back and did the one thing I never in a million years would ever expect you to do. You are a traitor.”
His words feel like venom to my veins.
Dammit.
“Okay… Let’s talk about it.”
Anything has to be better than beating each other up over this.
“Talk about it?” he asks, as if the concept is the most laughable thing in the world.
“I’d like to have a real discussion, yes.”
“You betrayed me. You betrayed Nic. And you have let the one person you swore to protect down. What’s there to discuss?”
The blood drains from my face first and then from my arms, causing a tingling sensation in my fingertips.
Releasing my hold, I get up from on top of Graham. Then he rolls himself to his side and stands.
Running my fingers over the back of my neck, I feel the tension building. “I wanted to come to you first.”
“For what? To get my blessing?” He scoffs. “Maybe when hell freezes over. But I’ll never accept that you found it in you to seduce my baby sister. Never. ”
What else am I supposed to do now?
My fingers lace behind my head. “How did you find out?”
“Does it matter?”
I shrug. “It does to me.”
“She’s my baby sister!”
But she’s my everything. “I love her, Graham.”
But those words trigger him, and he punches me again. This time his force is stronger than the other times.
And again.
Again…
I let him beat the shit out of me. I don’t even flinch.
Blood explodes from my lip, speckling the mat in even more dark spots. I wipe at my face, smearing the blood all over my white gloves. It drips down my neck, soaking into my workout shirt.
And I let it happen…
I let it be.
This isn’t how I predicted this would end. I thought I had more time. And I definitely thought I could explain my way through how Penny and I came to be.
But my hope was stolen from me—too soon.
I fell for Penny.
And I fell hard.
Now all the time I’ve spent with her will be tainted by this memory of betrayal.
Fuck.
I should have come to Graham first. We were just days away from the contract ending. Surely, anything would have been better than this catastrophe.
Deep down I thought if I rid the planet of Mark Tanner, I would somehow be granted immunity for any stupid shit I’ve done prior.
I’m an idiot.
And now I know with confidence that this man absolutely hates me.
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s all you have to say?”
He jerks me forward by my shirt just to slam me back against the ropes of the ring.
“It’s not Penny’s fault.”
“Of course it’s not her fault, you fucker! You knew better.” He looks away as if the sight of my face alone disgusts him. “You preyed on my little sister when she was at her most vulnerable.”
“It wasn’t like that…”
But how do I explain that Penny tried for weeks to get me to cave to her desires? She’s the one who pursued me, yet in reality I’ll never actually blame her.
There’s just no point… How would I even go about challenging the narrative Graham already has solidified in his own head?
I can’t.
There’s nothing I can say or do that will change the fact that I’m sixteen years older than the girl who has enraptured my entire heart.
When I think Graham’s going to spit on me, he changes direction and walks off to the side of the ring.
“End it with her.”
He makes it sound easy, as if I haven’t already considered this scenario for the last three months.
I lean against the ropes for stability. My lip is already clotting, and the stickiness from the blood is making every motion of my mouth sore as I reopen the wound.
“I’m sorry,” I try again.
But it’s Graham’s glare that makes me want to crumble. I broke more than just his trust. I broke his baby sister.
“When?”
My eyes twitch. “When what?”
“When did you think that double-crossing me was in the best interest of friendship?”
“Ninety-five days ago,” I choke out.
But in reality, I betrayed him from the first moment I saw Penny at her twenty-second birthday party. It was that event that changed the entire course of my life and shattered the one I’ve spent years to rebuild.
Besides, it’s not like I can even fight for her when she deserves better than to be estranged from her family, who mean everything to her.
Family comes first, and I’d never want her to choose between me or them.
They need her more than someone as fucked-up as I am does.
I’ve been destined to be alone.
Penny, on the other hand, needs someone who will nurture her—not destroy her.
No matter how many times I told myself I couldn’t resist her charms, I did the one thing that completely shattered the trust from the two men who gave me another reason to live.
Now I don’t even know how to go on with the knowledge that I’ll never be back in their good graces.
Never.
Penny is the closest fucking thing I have to a home, and I am lighting my entire delusion on fire.
She’s going to hate me.
But I hate me more.