Chapter 36
36
PENNY
I am lying in Collins’s bed when I hear rustling outside in the hallway.
“You’re back soon,” I call out, pulling myself upright and out of my protective cocoon. The blankets pool around me. “Which is good for me, because I’m super horny from you being gone.”
The door to the room flies open, and I silently pray that I’m in the middle of another nightmare—which would be much better than this fucked-up version of reality.
“What the hell, Penny!?”
Oh, no.
This cannot be happening.
What is happening?
No…
No.
“Nic!”
I grab the sheets and pull them up to my neck. What the fuck is happening? Why is he here standing in my bedroom?
Correction… Collins’s bedroom.
I’m in Collins’s bedroom.
And my brother just caught me in a smoking-gun scene.
Dammit.
“I can’t believe this,” he mutters.
“Me either.” My words are barely audible even to my own ears.
Staring into the eyes of my brother, I think I’m hallucinating. What other explanation could there be as to why he’s standing inside Collins’s apartment, looking like he’s seen a ghost.
Nic’s hands slide to the back of his neck, as he pivots his body to avoid any more awkward eye contact.
“Get dressed, Penny,” he snaps.
“What are you doing here?”
“Confirming that Graham and I hired a fucking traitor.”
His words sting, and I quiver back into the pillows that have supported my addiction to Collins for months. I’ve spent a lot of time in this bed—my safe haven—and now my brother’s presence here today has tainted my peace with being in this space.
“It wasn’t Collins’s fault.”
“Not his fault?” he snaps. “How is this not his fault for fucking with my baby sister?”
“I consented.” My words come out rushed—frantic—and when I don’t think he believes me, I add, “I promise.”
I did consent!
I consented to everything…
But why do I owe anyone an explanation or a play-by-play of those intimate details?
I don’t.
“I consented, Nic,” I reiterate. “Listen to me. Please. ”
His body whips around, and it’s now that I realize just how angry he is with all of this. He wasn’t supposed to find out—at least not like this. We were almost done with the contract, and Collins promised he would handle the rest.
But how can things be made right when a trust so loyal has been broken?
“I didn’t want to sneak around,” I say, wiping the flow of tears streaming from my eyes. “I’m sorry for hiding it.”
“You’re sorry for hiding it?”
“Yes!”
Nic rubs at the back of his neck. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
“Listen to me,” I scream. I don’t even recognize my own frantic voice. “I’m sorry for going behind your back, but I didn’t know any other way.”
“How about being sorry for ruining your life again?”
“Ruining my life? You’re being heartless!”
“I’m being honest,” he counters.
“Collins helped give me my zest for being in this life back. Don’t you see it? I’m happy. I’m fucking happy again. The old me who was buried underneath trauma and the pain of my past has resurrected from the ash as someone who knows her worth. And it was Collins who helped me see it.”
Every time I say Collins’s name, he flinches as if I’m burning him with a hot iron.
Nic looks around the room, and for a second I think he’s going to go on a rampage, tearing apart the life I built here between these walls.
It’s a life I’m not ready to let go. I won’t let go…
His eyes scan over the four-poster bed. They land on the sheets and pillows. He looks at the nightstand and the charging cable plugged into my phone.
Nothing seems out of the norm, but Nic can’t help but look at everything here with disgust and contempt. “I can’t fucking be in this place without wanting to rip everything apart and burn it to the ground.”
“What? Why do you care so much?”
“Because a man who should have known better used you for his sick fantasies.”
“I love him,” I blurt out. I’m not thinking straight but of that I am certain.
“Love?” Nic scoffs. “You’re fucking joking.”
“I love Collins Stone.”
Just don’t tell him yet. I want to make it special… I haven’t officially expressed that sentiment to him.
“I’m going to fucking murder that man for taking advantage of you when you were most vulnerable. We hired him to protect you, not abuse you.”
Why is he being so hateful? “He never abused me!”
“You don’t know what you’re saying right now, Penny. You are blinded by whatever false promises that man has conned you into believing. I don’t blame you. This is all his fault.”
“You are being so mean—so cruel. Please stop.”
I cover my ears but I can still hear his rant.
“Go to your apartment and pack some things. I’m bringing you to my house where I can keep a better eye on you.”
I shake my head adamantly. I don’t want to go anywhere. “No.”
“Yes, dammit. You can stay in a guest room until Graham and I figure out what the fuck we’re going to do about this.”
“There’s nothing to do, Nic.” My words come out frantic, and I can’t stop crying. “I’m not some petulant child. I can make my own choices.”
“Well, you suck at them right now.”
His words slap me right in the face. “All these months I had prioritized what Mark did to me—what I couldn’t even remember—and then suddenly I switched and found someone else to focus on. Someone attentive and kind and understanding and loving… And you can’t see past him crossing a line in order to comprehend just what Collins did for me. It’s not fair! It’s not fair that you are so blinded by the filter of betrayal that you can’t see my progress.”
“Go grab some things.”
“Nic…”
“Now, Pen.”
I shake my head at him. “Unbelievable.”
It’s like I’m looking at a man I don’t even know anymore.
Rolling out of bed, I stomp into the closet to get dressed, while still wrapped in the bed sheet. There’s no point fighting with my hardheaded brother when he’s this mad. There’s no point in reminding him that I’m a legal adult at the age of twenty-two and that he’s not in charge of controlling who I date or not date—no matter if they are his employee or not.
Nic’s already made up his mind that Collins is the villain, and I’m the victim. We both just need time to cool off and have a chance to calmly explain. And that realization is the only thing making me comply right now.
We just need time.
Maybe if he hears that Collins wants what I want, that we both are very much into each other, then he’ll relax this choke hold on my freedom.
Maybe.
When I’m ready to leave, Nic escorts me back to my apartment, unlocking the door with his own key.
He’s being unfair and deliberately making a point as to what level of control he has over my life.
It’s my brothers who have funded my bank account for me to even get this apartment. It’s my brothers who have advocated for me to get the best therapy center in Seattle when I needed it most. It’s my brothers who introduced me to their top bodyguard and right-hand man, Collins, in the first place.
And it’ll be my brothers who will serve as the instrumental force that will tear us apart.
But I won’t let it happen. I’m willing to fight for us.
Pushing past Nic, I enter my apartment. I’ve spent exponentially more time at Collins’s place than my own, so it’s ironic that he brought me here to gather my things when I have more stored at the other location.
But I can already tell he is in no mood to listen to me disagree. So I just step into line, like the obedient little soldier.
“I’ll be back in one hour. Do not leave.”
“Where is Collins?”
“Don’t worry about him,” he spits out.
“But I am worried. Where is he?”
Nic shrugs nonchalantly and glances at his watch. “Oh, he’s probably getting his face bashed in by Graham as we speak.”
“That’s messed up, even for you!” I snarl.
“He needs to be taught a lesson, Pen. It’s as simple as that.”
“With fists?”
“That is a way better punishment than he actually deserves.”
Crying, I shove him out the door.
Why is he being so cold?
If it wasn’t for the confidence in Collins’s ability to handle his own, then I’d be busting out of here to go stop my eldest brother from doing something he’ll ultimately regret.
But Collins doesn’t need me to fight his battles right now, and a part of me is relieved I no longer have to hide our once-secret relationship. Now that everything is getting out in the open, we can start to push forward on being together long-term.
My brothers just need to calm down from the initial shock.
Fishing my phone out of my pants pocket, I find Collins’s name in my list of contacts.
I hit the call button but get sent right to voicemail, so I leave one.
“Hey, where are you? Are you okay? Nic found me at your place. He’s livid. He just needs time to calm down. I hope you’re okay. Graham probably knows too. At least that’s what Nic implied. Be safe. I don’t want them to hurt you. This is on me. I seduced you. I’m sorry. I won’t let you carry all of the burden and all of the blame. I knew what I was doing. And I regret nothing.”
My words come out as one big ramble, and when I disconnect the call, I fall to the floor in an emotional heap.
I love you.
I stay here in a curled-up ball until the doorbell sounds.
Nic…
He said he’d be back in an hour to collect me.
I don’t want to go.
I just want to sleep away all of this pain pressing down on my heart.
The doorbell rings again, reminding me that I haven’t answered it.
Pulling myself up from my own self-pity party, I make my way out of the bedroom and into the hallway. Moving to the door, I open it and discover a little box resting on the doormat.
Weird.
I glance down the hallway but don’t see anyone around who could have delivered it.
Picking up the package, I pull off the lid to reveal a bracelet. Turning it over in my hand, I see that the underside is engraved.
“I’m an…” I read out loud.
Then all of the other mysterious gifts’ messages come flooding back to me, reminding me that Mark Tanner still has a hold on me—just as he promised he would.
One.
Two.
Three.
I’m an…
What does this even mean?
One, two, three, I’m an….
Will I get another gift soon?
And who is delivering these to me?
Something seems off, and yet someone is taking their time delivering a cryptic message at his orders.
I walk the bracelet over to the kitchen counter and place it on its surface.
I’m over these haunting messages. Mark obviously has someone working for him on the outside who is able to deliver these strange packages.
He’s getting to me, and I’m allowing every second of his torment to touch my life.
Suddenly the apartment feels claustrophobic and empty at the same time.
I don’t want to be here alone. I’m fucking tired of being alone.
“Luke? Are you here?”
Maybe he came back home during my nap on the floor.
I meander into the living room, looking to see if there’s any sign my roommate’s here. Usually it’s a drink left on a side table or the television being left on that indicates he’s milling about the place.
But I see nothing.
Moving down the hall, I knock on his door, surprised it isn’t in its typical locked state. Despite being very open about what he does at his job, he’s a relatively private person. So when I find it left ajar, I’m shocked.
Pushing the door a little, I take a peek inside his room.
“Hey, Luke?”
No answer.
And then without thinking of the consequences, I walk in.
I blame it on the fish tank. It catches my attention.
Why didn’t I know he had a fish tank?
Pinned to the side of the tank are little cutout name tags of goldfish. Blooper, Finneous, and Scaly-Gaster…
The fish are huge for being goldfish, clearly having months to grow.
Grabbing the food, I see the feeding schedule listed out on paper from a spiral notebook, dated back to the middle of summer.
Seriously, why didn’t I even realize this?
Have I been so wrapped up in the world of Collins Stone that I don’t even know what’s happening in my own home?
The fish swim to the glass at what I assume is the sight of the food container coming into view, so I open up the top part of the tank and sprinkle in some of the shrimp flakes.
“There you go.”
They swim toward the flakes, swallowing them up with each gulp.
I stare a little longer into the tank before closing the lid. I cross off the feeding cycle from the list and hope I didn’t majorly overstep.
I just couldn’t help myself.
But when I place the notebook back onto the dresser, a series of photos float out onto the floor.
Grabbing them, my heart stops.
These are of me…
And Collins.
What the hell?
We are standing in the hallway outside his place. One is of me at the coffee shop for the speed dating event. Another is of us making out in the alleyway afterward.
And there’s a series of us outside in the parking lot at Limit-X.
No…
Why do these even exist?
“Penny?”
Whipping my body around, I come face-to-face with my slimy roommate.
“Who are you?” I demand.
“Why are you snooping in my room?”
I flash the photos in the air. “Why do you have pictures of me and Collins?”
“What?” he has the nerve to ask.
“Look!” I wave them in front of his face. “See them? Why?” I yell.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” But then his eyes lock on to the photos, and instantly, I want to hide them from his view.
No one needs to be witness to these once private, intimate moments between me and the man I love.
“You don’t need to keep lying.”
Luke’s forehead wrinkles. “I’m not.”
I’ll give it to him—he does sound convincing.
“My brothers hired you, didn’t they?” Taking a step forward, I shove at his chest. “You’ve been lying to me this whole time?” He’s not even denying it. “You moved in with me to keep an eye on me?”
“How can I keep an eye on you when you’re barely here? That makes no sense.” His words are barely a whisper, but they hit hard.
“That’s not the point! Did you tamper with my speed-dating matches?” When he doesn’t answer, I push him again. “I thought you were my friend. But you went to my brothers about the best thing that’s ever happened to me and basically are ruining everything.”
Tears flood my vision. I’m in truth overload. It literally feels like my life is crashing down around me, one sacred memory at a time.
Luke continues talking to me, but I block him out by covering my ears. I can’t look at him. I can’t listen to him. I can’t be in his presence.
I need Collins. I need him to make this all better.
Rushing out of the room, I throw myself into mine and shut the door.
So much is happening all at once, and the only person who can keep me grounded is the one man my brothers are going to try and keep me away from.
They just aren’t going to understand our connection, and I’m starting to doubt that they’ll be able to calm down long enough to even try.
Flopping down onto the bed, I cry into my pillow.
This entire apartment now feels foreign to me.
If my brothers hand selected Luke to be their spy, along with Collins the hired bodyguard, then this entire operation was probably all orchestrated so I would find myself moving here.
It was too good to be true.
But I never expected it all to be one massive setup.
To find an apartment this perfect, with great security, and an opening where I didn’t have to commit to a lengthy contract was way too easy.
My brothers made it easy. They were the puppet masters, and I simply played right into their hands.
Graham and Nic just never expected me to fall in love with Collins Stone.
Well, too damn bad.
Grabbing my phone, I text Collins.
Penny: Luke has been hired by my brothers. He tampered with my speed dating matches and probably told my brothers about us. They know. Nic found me in your bed.
Penny: I’m sorry.
And then a minute later.
Penny: I need you. I’m falling apart.
Penny: I can’t breathe.