Chapter 35
Fourth and long? I’ve never been afraid of fourth down before. I’m not starting now.
Gage
T he sun beats down on the practice field, baking the turf and turning my helmet into a damn oven. Sweat drips down my spine, and we haven’t even started team period yet. My hands itch to check my phone – has Addy finally responded to any of my messages – but I resist the temptation.
I need to keep my head in the game. This isn’t merely a game. This is football. This is my life. My career. The thing that saved me when nothing else could.
“Inside run!” Coach Knox barks.
We jog into position. Nolan crouches behind center. I settle five yards deep with my hands on my thighs.
I scan the defense. They’re lined up in a standard formation, but one linebacker is edging toward the middle like he might blitz, and the safety is sneaking closer to the line — both hint that pressure is coming .
I catalog it automatically. But my mind isn’t on the field or football. It’s on a patio. On tear-filled light brown eyes. On the words, maybe it’s best we end this .
I growl. Addy and I aren’t ending anything. There’s a solution. There’s always a solution. I don’t give up once I’m committed.
“Blue eighty!” Nolan calls.
The ball snaps. He pivots and presses it into my gut at the mesh point. I clamp down and step toward the left guard.
The line caves the defense exactly the way we drilled it. A crease opens between the guard and tackle. Daylight. Normally, I hit that hole like it owes me money.
But I’m not thinking about my run. I’m thinking about staying on the island in the off-season, Addy visiting for away weeks, spending holidays on Smuggler’s Hideaway and—
Wham! A linebacker wraps me before I’m two yards past the line.
The whistle blows.
“EDWARDS!” Coach’s voice slices through the field.
I peel myself up, hand the ball to the ref assistant, and jog back to the huddle.
“You waiting for permission?” Coach shouts. “That hole was wide enough to drive a truck through.”
“Yes, Coach.”
“Then drive the damn truck.”
We reset. I roll my shoulders and shake out my hands. Head in the game, Gage. Head in the game .
But my mind keeps circling. She loves me. I saw it in her face. She said it. I won’t walk away from love. Love I’ve never experienced before. A family I’ve never had.
“Pass pro!” Coach yells.
Nolan meets my gaze. “Keep your eye on the middle linebacker — if he blitzes, he’s yours.”
“Got it.”
We break. The defense shifts late. The weak-side linebacker widens. The middle linebacker creeps toward the line. He’s bluffing. Or maybe he’s not.
I scan. Count bodies. Read the alignment.
But instead of focusing on the linebacker’s feet, I’m thinking about flight schedules. About apartments. About how long I can stretch my off-season before organized team activities begin.
The ball snaps. I step left.
Wrong. The middle linebacker shoots the opposite gap. By the time I pivot, he’s already in Nolan’s chest.
Thud.
The whistle shrieks. I know before Coach opens his mouth. “EDWARDS! You trying to get our quarterback killed?”
“No, Coach.”
“Then why did you leave a direct path to the quarterback open?”
Because I was planning my future instead of reading the damn defense. “I misread it.”
Coach stalks toward me. “You don’t misread. That’s why you start. ”
I hold his stare. “Yes, Coach.”
“You got something on your mind?”
Addy. Her tears. Her saying love isn’t enough.
“No, Coach.”
“Good,” he snaps. “Because if you miss another read, I will assume you forgot how to play football and you can warm the bench.” He blows his whistle. “Again!”
We line up.
Nolan bumps my shoulder. “You good?”
“Fine.”
He studies me for half a second like he doesn’t believe it, then turns back to the line. The ball snaps and I force everything else out.
The next hour of practice is a repeat of the previous plays. Me messing up. Coach getting mad. When he finally blows the last whistle for the day, I rip my helmet off and stalk toward the locker room.
“Edwards!” Coach Knox bellows. “My office. Now!”
Fuck. No one enjoys being called into the coach’s office. But after the day I’ve had, I deserve it.
“Shut the door,” he demands when I step inside.
I shut the door and stand in front of his desk.
“What the hell is going on with you?”
“My head wasn’t in the game today.”
“This is the last week of training camp. Regular season starts in a few weeks. This is not the time to lose concentration.”
“I know. ”
“You know?” He lifts an eyebrow. “If you know, then why the hell did you let Allen get sacked twice in practice?”
“Personal issues.”
“Personal issues? Is this code for women troubles?”
There’s no use denying it. I nod.
“Fucking hell. What do they put in the water on this island? My entire offensive line has women troubles.”
“Not only the offensive line,” I mutter.
His eyes narrow. “What did you say?”
I don’t shy away from his question. I’m too curious to discover the truth. “Rumor has it you’re leaving, Coach.”
He slumps in his chair. “Fuck. No one’s supposed to know yet.”
My heart stammers in my chest. Shit. It’s true. Coach is leaving us. I can’t imagine the team without Knox. He’s been a father figure to me since my first year, when I couldn’t get my shit together.
“You’re really leaving?”
He scowls. “We’re not discussing me. We’re discussing you. What’s going on? Is she pregnant?”
I rear back. “Who got a girl pregnant?”
He ignores my question. “If she’s not pregnant, what’s the problem?”
“She doesn’t want to leave Smuggler’s Hideaway.”
“And you aren’t quitting the team.”
I can’t quit the team. Football is what defines me. It’s my life. It’s the thing that saved me when no one else would .
“Fuck, Edwards. You couldn’t find a woman who jumps at the chance to leave this place?”
“Who jumped at the chance to leave?”
He ignores my question again. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, but I’ll figure it out.”
“Is she worth it?”
I growl. “She’s worth everything. I love her.”
“But does she love you? Or is she after your fame and fortune?”
My nostrils flare. “Addy isn’t some gold digger. She doesn’t care about my fame or money.”
“Good.” He crosses his arms over his chest and leans back in his chair. “What are you going to do?”
I don’t have a better answer to his question than the first time he posed it. I shrug.
“Let me give you some advice. It’s all about choices. You need to choose her over and over again. Make sure she understands she’s your priority despite football.”
I frown. “How do I make her a priority when I’m several states away?”
“You stay in contact. Phone and message her every chance you get. Fly her to Steel City to visit when you can’t get away. Spend all of your free time here on the island.”
“All of my free time? What about my endorsements? My obligations with the sponsors?”
“Ah. You’re thinking about the photoshoot next week.”
My brow furrows. “How do you know about the photoshoot? ”
“I know everything happening with my players. Including a player falling in love with a songwriter.”
He knows about Addy. I’m not surprised. Coach Knox is more than our coach. He’s a father figure. A friend. A sounding board. A problem solver.
“I asked her to come with me next week but she said no.”
“Then, you know what to do.”
“I can’t turn down an opportunity to star in a nationwide campaign.”
I need the money. I need to earn all the extra money I can before my career ends. It’s not as if I can play football until I’m sixty.
“You can’t?” He raises an eyebrow. “I guess you have your answer then. If you can’t make Addy a priority, you’re better off ending the relationship now.”
I swear under my breath. “I’m not ending things with Addy. I love her. She’s the woman I’ve been waiting my entire life for.”
“Is she?” He motions to the door. “Regardless, I expect you to pull your head out of your ass at tomorrow’s practice. I don’t want to bench one of my star players, but I will.”
“Yes, Coach.”
His words play on repeat in my mind as I shower and change. It’s a good thing the locker room is mostly empty because my teammates wouldn’t hesitate to give me shit after today’s performance .
My phone beeps with a message as I’m walking to my car. Hope fills me. Maybe Addy finally replied to my messages. I dig my phone out.
It’s not Addy. It’s my assistant confirming my flight to Steel City next week.
I scowl. I don’t want to spend my week off doing photo shoots for sponsors. I want to spend my time with Addy. She’s my priority.
If you can’t make Addy a priority, you’re better off ending the relationship now.
But I’m not showing her she’s my priority. By agreeing to leave Smuggler’s Hideaway early, I’m showing her football and money are my priority. Crap. No wonder she said good-bye to me.
I quickly type a message to her.
I’m staying in Smuggler’s Hideaway next week to spend time with you.
Staying next week isn’t the solution to our long-distance problem, but it’s a start.
I reach my SUV, where Tanner, Nolan, Brock, and Corbin are waiting. Crap. I guess I didn’t escape their shit talking after all.
I drop my bag at my feet. “I apologize for being distracted. It won’t happen again.”
Tanner wags his eyebrows. “You won’t be distracted thinking about Addy again?”
“Nope. I solved our problems.”
Nolan’s brow furrows. “How? ”
“I—”
I’m cut off by Brock’s phone ringing. “What?” He barks. He listens for a few moments. “Not interested,” he grumbles before hanging up.
He glares at me. I stand tall. I didn’t do anything to piss him off. At least, not off the field.
“Did you turn down the national campaign?”
“Yep. I’m not doing a photoshoot in Steel City during our off time. All of my off time will be spent on Smuggler’s Hideaway from now on.”
Corbin studies me. “You’re choosing Addy over national endorsement?”
“I am. She’s what I want.”
Nolan slaps me on the back. “Our little boy is in love.”
I give him the finger. “Yea, I love Addy.”
I expect them to make fun of me, make jokes about love. But they don’t. They’re all hugs and congratulations.
I knew I made the right decision, but having their approval means the world to me. These guys aren’t merely my teammates, they’re my family.
But they’re not my only family. Addy and her family are mine, too. Just as soon as I convince her, I choose her above everything else.