Chapter 16
Lucy
That conversation with Benson has me smiling to myself like an idiot. I pull my jacket tighter without thinking about it. I know I’m almost home when the smell of broth drifts through the air.
I need to keep the giddy feeling to myself, or Gianna’s going to know something’s up. I’m not ready to tell her what happened on Friday because I’ve barely processed it myself. When I walk in, she’s on the couch with Mara eating straight out of the ice cream tub.
“You’re home!”
Mara turns with the spoon in her mouth. “You came at the perfect time. It’s getting really good. Grab a spoon.”
I look at the TV when they turn back around. As if on cue, one of the girls on Love Island starts crying. I drop my bag in my bedroom, grab a spoon, and plop next to Mara. They hand over the tub, and I take a large scoop. The creaminess touches my tongue, and I hum.
“How’s my brother?” Gianna asks.
I keep my voice nonchalant as I answer, “He really doesn’t need a tutor.”
“Maybe when he brings his grade up, he can talk to Coach about canceling the sessions. Are you still tutoring those two other people?”
I nod. “Yeah. Those are a lot more effort. I talk and teach so much more in those sessions.”
Mara jokes, “What are you doing in the ones with Benson? Staring at him?”
Gianna glares at me like there’s some truth to what she’s saying.
I elbow Mara softly for teasing and take the tub of ice cream out of her arms. “No. He does his work, and I have time to work on mine.” I scoop a big load on my spoon.
Gianna says, “So, it’s like a study group but just the two of you.”
I put the spoon in my mouth and nod. She stares at me like she doesn’t like the sound of it.
She takes the tub of ice cream and scoops. “I don’t know if I like this, Lucy.”
I swallow the ice cream in my mouth. “Like what?”
“That you’re getting close to her brother,” Mara says. Gianna nods with the spoon in her mouth. “Where have you been? G is so overprotective of him ever since––”
Gianna lifts her head with a mouthful and shouts, “Don’t remind me. Please.”
I look between the two of them, scooping out more ice cream across Mara. “I don’t think I heard this story.”
“It was just high school drama,” Gianna mutters. She finishes the ice cream in her mouth and adds, “But just in case I didn’t make it clear, Benson is off limits.”
I nod, understandably, trying to hide the way I want to run and hide. “Of course.”
She turns to the TV, ignoring me now. Mara whispers something about the girls on the screen while my bones tremble.
I can never tell her about the kiss. My God.
If I get up and leave the room right now, it’s going to be highly suspicious behavior.
Instead, I shovel another spoonful of ice cream into my mouth.
I don’t ever want to lose Gianna as a bestie or ruin this friendship right before we graduate.
I have to tread lightly; maybe even talk to Benson about whether or not this is worth it.
The girl on the TV starts yelling across the room, so my thoughts fall quiet as I watch the drama unfold, thankfully.
For dinner, we order Vietnamese from the place downstairs.
Ten minutes later, I’m downstairs at the front door of the restaurant in my sweats and a hoodie with my hair in a low bun, paying for three orders of pho, an order of spring rolls, and an order of vermicelli with grilled chicken because Mara cannot pick a single meal and has to combine.
We carry it upstairs. Gianna puts the ice cream away and clears off the coffee table.
We open the containers, and the steam comes up, and the apartment smells like broth and basil.
Gianna turns the lights down so the only light in the living room is the lamp by the bookshelf and the glow of the TV.
We turn the show back on and settle in to eat.
Gianna has chosen a couple to be invested in and has started shushing Mara during the confessional segments. I’m holding a spring roll in one hand and laughing so hard my eyes are watering. In this episode, the couple she’s invested in gets shattered right at the end. She won’t stop hitting Mara.
“Mara!”
Mara says, “I see it!”
“Why is he so stupid?”
I say, “He is — wait, what is he—”
She scoffs. “He is going to ruin his entire week.”
“Oh.”
“There he goes.”
He ruins everything, so Gianna pauses it to talk our ears off about how he’s a charming narcissist. We listen and nod in agreement. With the show paused, Mara takes this moment to go to the bathroom, and Gianna turns to me on the couch as soon as the bathroom door closes.
“Your face looks so much better.”
“Yeah. It feels better.”
“Did you end up telling my brother about it?”
When she asks, my heart rattles. I can’t help but notice that she keeps saying my brother instead of his name. “Yeah, I did.”
“What did he say?”
Are we talking boys now? I feel uncomfortable as she watches me. “He told me that Percy puts mango chunks in the punch.”
She snaps her fingers. “I knew it. From now on, you’re going to be on all their radars.”
Guilt consumes me. I know I just said I can never tell her, but I should. I absolutely should tell her that Benson kissed me. I open my mouth to say it, and then Mara runs into the room and sits between us.
She shouts, “Turn it back on.”
The moment’s gone, and I go red. I eat a spring roll and then lean back on the couch, thinking about seeing Benson tomorrow. I need to talk to him.
When I wake up, my entire face is back to normal.
I stare at my smiling face in the mirror, feeling like I’ve been renewed.
I have my face back. I put on tinted moisturizer, a coat of mascara, and add some blush to my cheeks.
I apply a layer of lip gloss and walk to my closet in a really happy mood.
I hum and dance as I stare at my clothes for a long moment.
I put on my favorite jeans that hug my hips but loosen around my thighs, and I think a tight shirt would look best, so I put on a plain spaghetti strap and wear a cardigan over it.
When I step out of my bedroom, Gianna says, “You look so cute.” She grabs my face and scans it. “You officially have your face back!”
I blush, realizing she has no idea that Benson and I have a tutoring session right now.
“Thanks. I’m heading out.”
“Oh, where?”
I grab my things. “The library and then I have class later.”
“Is your mom having another dinner tonight?”
I blink, realizing I had purposely forgotten all about that. “I don’t know. I’ll have to call her. Thanks for reminding me.”
“Okay. See you later. Oh, and there’s a party at the Hawthorne House.”
I almost stop in my tracks.
I open the door and step out as she calls out, “You’re coming with me again!”
The walk to the library is nerve-racking. Even though Benson and I had that talk yesterday, it feels like things are in the air. It’s obvious he wants something casual, but I think we need to change our plan since it’s going to upset Gianna. Maybe we shouldn’t do this at all.
What I don’t expect is to see him walking towards me when I round the corner.
I halt, surprised at the sight of him. He’s wearing a backward hat, a plain black shirt, and brown jeans with skater shoes. He’s holding his phone in his hand.
“Hey,” I say.
He smiles brightly when he sees me. “Hi, Lucy.”
“Are you––” I pause, pointing behind me.
“Yeah,” he exhales. “Is that alright?”
I nod. It’s more than alright. I’m a little shocked and transfixed, so I stand there for a moment.
“Benson?” Gianna calls out from behind me.
He opens his mouth, looking at her and then back at me. “I was just about to call you.” He lifts his phone.
Gianna looks at me with a confused gaze that’s slowly turning into something darker. Then her phone rings, so she grabs it and shows it to him.
“Uh,” I say. “Nice seeing you. I have a thing to get to.”
He nods. “Yeah, for sure. See you later.”
I walk off with my heart pounding, and now I don’t have to question where we stand with Gianna.
I catch her agitated tone when she says, “There better be something really wrong, Benson. In all these years, you’ve never shown up here.”
That’s a fair statement. His voice is too deep to hear over the hum of traffic and the distance between us now. I keep walking, and I don’t turn back. I hear her voice start up again, but I only hear my own that’s screaming this is a bad idea.
I enter the library, and the cool air makes me shiver.
I take the stairs. Someone’s in our usual room, so I take the open one and set my things down.
I immediately leave the room and start pacing.
I don’t know where I’m going, but I walk in one direction and then I walk back.
When I turn around again, I hear the stairwell door open.
It’s Benson. I look behind him for any sign that Gianna is with him, even though he’s a giant.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I realize Gianna isn’t behind him, so I nod. I notice his backpack is in his hands now. “You didn’t have the bag when I saw you out there.”
“I didn’t want G to be suspicious. I’m assuming you didn’t tell her about us.”
He looks at me like he’s waiting for me to answer a question he didn’t directly ask.
I swallow. Us? There’s an us now? I shake my head to agree that I didn’t tell her anything, and then I walk into the study room I claimed. Benson looks at the room we usually occupy and notices it’s taken, following behind me.
He shuts the door, and being alone with him in this tiny room makes me even more anxious. I sit down and pull out my things. He sits across from me. There’s a dead silence for a minute, and I cannot take it anymore.
“What’s happening?” I blurt, setting the pencils out. It’s the last thing in my tutoring setup.
He looks up at me. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” I look around, trying to figure out what I mean, “with Gianna. Last night she told me that you were off-limits.”
He doesn’t seem surprised to hear this.
I nearly scoff, “Do you sleep with all of her friends?”