Chapter 3
Pernelle
Two weeks later
Every time I send Princeton’s ass to the store, I end up regretting it.
That boy doesn’t have any sense of urgency at all, and it pisses me off.
I ask him to grab a couple of chocolate Crunch Bars from the store for me, and somehow, it’s an hour later, and his ass is still not back.
I swear, it’s like he forgets that I am pregnant and craving every five minutes.
As unhealthy as it sounds, I eat Crunch Bars after damn near every meal.
This baby loves chocolate, and Skittles, and anything else that’s not good for me.
I’ve eaten more bags of chips these past eight months than I probably did my whole life, thanks to her.
Once I have this little girl, I am going straight to the fuckin’ gym to lose this extra weight I’ve put on.
I feel bloated, tired, and I am one strong drink away from finally feeling like myself again.
Being pregnant while going through a major life change was a battle made for only God’s strongest soldiers.
I know I have to be one to still be here today.
This past year has been one of the craziest of my life.
I walked over to the window, pulling the blinds back a little to see if I could spot Princeton coming down the block.
Letting him loose on that bike again always made my nerves bad, but I know that I can’t lock him up like a prisoner.
At least now, I can have peace knowing that Hov has his back in the streets.
Ever since the shooting, he looks out for my brother heavily and makes sure everyone knows Princeton is his lil homie and not to be played with.
I also find comfort in knowing one of the people who shot him is gone, and hopefully the other, Elijah, is in the same place, rotting in hell.
Sometimes, that’s the only reason I sleep at night.
Out the window, I didn’t see Princeton, but a bunch of niggas posted up doing a whole bunch of nothing.
There were little groups of people scattered around the courtyard.
Some slap boxing, some shooting dice, and others just talking loud with bottles of cheap ass liquor in their hands.
I could see the smoke from their blunts drifting up in the air, mixing in with the scents of weed, piss, and takeout somebody left on the curb.
Every few seconds, I heard a bottle crack, loud laughing, and somebody arguing about money.
Same shit every night no matter the weather.
The same scene I swore I was done with back when I thought life was about to change for the better with Emoney.
Times like this when Emoney crossed my mind, I picked up my phone to call every contact I could until someone answered to take my mind off her trifling ass. My conscience had me thinking about her when my mind didn't want to.
First, I dialed my mama’s number, and once she didn’t answer, I smacked my lips because that pissed me off.
There is no telling where her and Ray are at tonight with their newfound fortune.
Ray won $10,000 on a scratch-off two weeks ago, and they have been living their best life ever since.
I told her that she better slow her traveling down when this baby gets here.
I helped her raise her baby, and now it’s time for her to help me raise mine.
I decided now to call Ciara since I haven’t talked with my bitch in a while.
I didn’t really like bothering her so much now because I know she’s in the honeymoon phase with her man.
My girl always answers her phone, however.
No matter how much her life has changed and how far ahead of the game she is now, she still makes time for me.
That’s why I’m genuinely happy for my best friend. She deserves the life she has now.
“Hello.”
Ciara answered while giggling. Her voice sounded like she was singing, almost, and that shit made me smile too.
“Hey friend, you busy?”
“No, not really. Just sitting on the couch watching Hov attempt to put up this new chandelier we got for the living room.”
“Okay bro, Hov the builder. I’m surprised he didn’t hire someone to do that for him.”
“Girl, I guess he is in his husband era and wants to do it himself. I just know that I won’t be walking under it for at least two weeks.”
She whispered that last part, and I chuckled, taking a seat back on the couch.
“That’s a blessing, sis. I’m so happy for you and your new beginning.”
“And I’m happy for you too. That baby with all that hair is about to be so cute and chunky. I can’t wait to hold her!”
I could hear Ciara clapping in the background.
It felt good to know that she cared so much about my baby already, even with the slight falling out we had earlier this year.
I had plans of asking her to be the Godmother and Hov to be the Godfather, but I want to do it in a special way.
Maybe I’ll give them both little onesies or something with the big question written on it.
“All that hair is right, because if I have been having this severe heartburn for nothing, then I’m going to be pissed. She better not come out bald headed like her mama did.”
We shared a laugh as I rubbed my hand across my belly, feeling a small kick in return from my baby.
She was her most active at night, or anytime I’m trying to get some sleep during the day.
It’s like she’s already trying me, and she’s not even here yet.
For those reasons I feel like who I am baking inside of my stomach is about to be my karma.
All those hard times that I gave my mother back in the day are about to come back on me through her.
That’s why sometimes I think about naming her Pernelle Junior.
Call her PJ for short because she will be just like me.
“So, what are the plans for tomorrow? You hitting up the Black Arts block party in Harlem? I hear it’s supposed to be a really dope event with all types of artwork on display. We needed something like that around the city.”
“Yes, we did, and I hope that once the center opens, we can do events like that for children too and give away scholarships to the winners for it. But no, I won’t actually make it because I can't even focus on having fun with Verdict Day approaching.” Ciara let out a loud sigh.
“Oh yeah, that is coming up. Are you nervous friend?”
“Mmm, nah, not really because Bria, Hov’s lawyer, says that we have a definite win with Kairo’s testimony out the window.
She did a pretty good job painting Kairo out to be a liar, and he isn't here anymore to defend himself. Or lie to those people, I should say. He was just so stupid. I really wish he had thought sometimes, you know. He knew not to take on Hov. He knew what would happen to him.”
The phone went quiet for a moment as if I put something on her mind that she didn’t want to think about right now.
I know how she feels because no matter how much I hated Emoney, knowing that she died does make me sad for the old me.
Once in a point in time, she was my world, like Kairo was Ciara’s even though he never deserved her.
I could say the same thing about Ebony and the worst part is I’m still having to post her on Facebook, answer her mother’s calls, and shed fake tears because the moment I stop, they would think something is up.
“Are you alright, Ci?”
“Yeah.” She took a labored breath.
“His murder was just a lot to see, you know. All that gunfire and him dropping down to the ground. I can't get that shit up out of my head, P. Hopefully, the visual of that will leave my head soon.”
“I’m just happy everyone else is okay. That scene could’ve been a lot worse if you or Hov got hit.”
I replied, just as my phone started to beep from the other line with a call from Princeton.
“Hold on, Ci, I’ll call you back. This is my brother.”
“Okay, talk to you soon.”
“Later, friend.”
I switched over to his line, getting ready to cuss him out as soon as the line connected.
"Hello?”
“Where the hell are you, Princeton? I know it doesn't take you that long to get to Silvia's, nigga. I'm starving, and it’s getting late, so you need to be at home anyway!”
“I know, sis, I know, chill.”
“Chill? No, you chill, little boy. Why do you do me so wrong when I am the one who was taking care of your ass months ago? I brought you all the snacks when you wanted them and waited on your ass hand and foot even while throwing up my guts in the process."
I could hear Princeton laughing through the phone as he always did when my pregnancy hormones flared.
Lately, he’s been blaming my pregnancy for anything I have an attitude about.
If he left the toilet seat up, I was tripping because I was pregnant.
If he drank the last of my grape juice, I was mad because I was pregnant.
Though his ass gets on my nerves, these unfortunately are the moments I would’ve missed if he had died, so I never got too mad at him. I just curse him out from time to time.
"P. I got somebody right here that wants to talk to you? Hold on, I’m about to give him the phone. "
I heard the shuffle of the phone being passed, and then a voice hit my ear that had me stuck.
"Pretty P. Tell me why this little nigga got two Crunch bars and a Dr. Pepper in his hand that he says he has to bring to you for dinner. Is this the food you are feeding the baby that is supposed to belong to me?"