Chapter 16 Cash
SIXTEEN
CASH
I followed Theo through the back door of Ivy Threads, maneuvering a ridiculous mannequin that was naked and as tall as me through the storeroom and out into the main area of the boutique. Trying to keep my shit together as I continued to war with the request that Daisy had made.
My insides in knots and my mind so twisted and tied I couldn’t make sense of a single thought.
Wrought with worry and dread and the long ago promise I made that I would do anything she asked.
But what she was asking…
Two weeks had passed with them staying at my cabin.
Two weeks of no one else knowing they were there.
Two weeks of turmoil as I struggled to figure out what the hell I was going to do.
Two weeks of Daisy and her kids under my feet and getting under my skin. Constantly there with those smiles and unending questions and their laughter ringing against the walls.
Invading my space and fucking with my mind.
All while I spent most of my time trying to sniff out the bastard who was at the root of the problem in the first place.
I’d sworn to Daisy that I would protect her. That I would protect all of them.
I’d torn through every detail I could uncover on that piece of shit.
Unfortunately, once he was released from jail, he disappeared.
Not a fucking trace.
But I’d find him.
I would hunt every inch of this earth until I did.
It wasn’t enough for Daisy, though. She was desperate for what she asked.
What tore me up inside was somewhere in that pretty head of hers, she was convinced she was going to die—or at least that there was a significant chance that she would. And what she wanted most was to know, in that event, that her children would be cared for.
Daisy didn’t have anyone else. Had lost every fucking person in her world.
Lightheadedness suddenly swept through my brain.
The guilt strangling.
She believed I was someone different than I was. She didn’t know what I’d done. What I was responsible for.
She sure as hell wouldn’t be here asking this of me if she knew.
Needed to tell her, but I knew it would send her running. She’d hate me forever, the exact way I deserved.
But there was no chance I was going to leave her alone and unprotected, so for now, I had to carry this. The weight of what I’d done. Couldn’t give it to her until I hunted this motherfucker down and brought him to his end.
My breaths were shallow as I followed Theo through the store.
“You gettin’ weak on me or what, brother?” he teased.
No question, he heard the pants coming from my mouth.
He had no idea where the weakness was coming from.
I only grunted in response.
He chuckled since he knew me well enough that I didn’t speak unless necessary. He continued on like it was any other day. “Appreciate you lending a hand.”
Wasn’t like I was going to say no when he asked for help. Dude was excited as hell since Piper had a new clothing line debuting at Ivy Threads.
I’d needed an excuse to get out of that house, anyway. Some time to clear my head.
My house was locked up tight, but I had Silas send over one of his guys to sit as security just to be sure.
I was positive no one could touch them there, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t itching to get back to see for myself that they were safe.
Theo basically pranced out into the middle of the store where Piper and Emery were setting up.
“You got them!” Piper beamed at Theo as he sauntered up to her. Piper was tall with a mane of white, long hair.
He dipped in and pressed a kiss on her mouth. “What, did you think I wouldn’t? What my girl asks for, my girl gets.”
Dude was smitten as fuck.
Head over heels the second Piper, her son, and her grandmother had come to Moonlit Ridge right before Christmas. Never thought I’d see him fall the way he did. But I was pretty sure all it took was a look and he was a goner.
He married her four weeks after he moved her into his house. He said he didn’t want to imagine his life without her, so they made it permanent.
Signed and sealed.
Theo set the mannequin down at the same time as I did mine, and he looked around the shop that Emery, Kane’s wife, had opened last winter.
She and her sister’s dream that had finally come to fruition. Piper had been working with her from day one.
“This it?” Theo asked them.
“Yep,” Emery peeped. “This is going to be epic.” She reached out and squeezed Piper’s hand, her brown hair swishing around her shoulders.
All four of my crew’s girls had become the best of friends.
Sisters.
I was fucking happy for them.
Didn’t mean I could be any true part of it. I was there to protect. To take care of the innocent.
I counted it atonement for all that I’d done, though there was no chance that I could ever truly make amends.
The blood on my hands had seeped too deep.
“I’m so excited!” You could feel that excitement radiating off Emery as she looked at Piper.
Hell, it was straight-up joy they were emitting.
“I know. I really can’t believe this is happening. That you’re trusting me with this.” Piper held tight to Emery’s hand.
“Are you kidding me? Those clothes are going to fly off the racks. And probably off these mannequins.” Soft laughter rolled out of Emery.
Theo wrapped Piper in his arms. “So damn proud of you.”
“I’m so happy,” she returned.
“Me, too, baby, me, too,” he murmured against her forehead.
Itching in discomfort, I roughed a hand over my head, unable to stand in all the sweetness.
Hit with the urge to flee.
To flee from the questions. From the pressure that made me feel like I might explode.
“Listen, I gotta run,” I mumbled.
Could feel the concern wind through Theo. My whole crew had been watching me extra close the last two weeks. Picking up on something, even though I hadn’t given them a hint.
Needing to figure this shit out on my own.
I couldn’t handle his speculation right then.
Turning on my heel, I moved for the closest exit—the main entrance out front.
I whipped it open and strode out onto the sidewalk that fronted Ivy Threads. My boots thudded below me, like echoes shouting that I couldn’t escape any of this.
I heard the bell of the door jangle before I sensed the movement coming from behind.
“What’s up with you, man?” Theo shouted at my back.
I didn’t slow. I just gave a harsh shake of my head as I kept going. “Nothin’.”
Theo kept right behind me. “Don’t give me that shit. I’ve known you for a long fuckin’ time, and something is up.”
Fuck.
I fumbled to a standstill. A riot of emotions toiled through me. My worry over that little family, the fact that I would do anything for Daisy, but the truth that she was asking the wrong person.
I couldn’t be a…father.
Isn’t that what she was asking?
Anxiety and grief wound through my being as I stared over at Theo who waited for me to come clean.
“Found a trespasser on my property.” It was all I could force from my mouth.
Theo frowned, knowing it wasn’t all that uncommon with where I lived.
I covered my face with both hands like it could shield me from this reality. Then I dropped them and wheezed, “It’s Daisy.”
Theo reeled back, struck by the name.
It wasn’t like I was a guy who spilled his guts, but one night back when we rode with the Iron Owls MC, Theo and I had been on a run. We’d gotten shit-faced after, passing a bottle of whiskey back and forth, and I’d found myself confessing everything.
I should have kept my fuckin’ mouth shut, but I found I couldn’t do it then, either. “She’s in trouble, and she needs me to marry her to keep her kids safe. What the fuck am I going to do?”
Theo inclined his head closer, his voice dropping to a barb, “The fuck, man?”
My nod was vicious. “Turns out, her ex is a monster. Into some super shady shit that she uncovered. She turned him in, and the fucker got out on a technicality. She’s sure he’s been after her ever since. She took off and ended up here because I’m the only person she’s got.”
The only person she’s got.
It speared through the middle of me the second I said it.
“I should have fucking known.” I gasped around it.
I should have dug.
Should have watched from afar.
Should have known she needed me.
Still, I continued to purge the tension that boiled like a beast. “She wants to know her kids have someone to take care of them if something happens to her, so she’s begging me to do this thing for her. It’s so fucked, man, I can’t think straight.”
Didn’t know how it was possible, but the confession poured out like a sieve.
I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
Disbelief puffed from between Theo’s lips, and he raked a hand through his jet-black hair. “Can think of better ways to handle the situation.”
Violence dripped from his words.
He and I were on the exact same fucking page.
“Already working on it. The bastard vanished the second he walked out of his cell. But I’ll find him.” Hatred wheezed through my gritted teeth.
“We need to bring this to Sovereign tomorrow night,” Theo urged. “The rest of our crew needs to be apprised. You don’t need to be going this alone.”
Refusal puffed from between my lips. “I always go it alone.”
“Not anymore. It’s fuckin’ time you stepped out from behind the place where you keep yourself sequestered. No matter what you think of yourself, you’re a part of this family. And if she’s important to you, then that means she’s important to the rest of us.”
My chest tightened, my throat growing thick.
“Is she important to you?” he pressed.
Fuck.
I ducked away, roughing an agitated hand down my face, before the word ripped out of me like spite. “Yes.”
“Good, then we figure this shit out tomorrow. And in the meantime?”
I turned back around, hostility scalding my marrow. “In the meantime, they’re under my protection.”
“How many?”
My heart racing erratic as their faces flashed through my mind. “She has three kids. Three, five, and seven.”
Amusement flitted through Theo’s expression. “Holy shit, dude. You have three kids and the woman who haunts your dreams living under your roof?”
I grunted at him.
A clear warning.
With a laugh, he held out his hands, his dark eyes gleaming like the schemer he was. “Seems like a good opportunity to me. Maybe there’s another reason she showed up at your door.”
My jaw clenched. “You know that’s not going to happen, so don’t even start.”
“If anyone needs to get inside a warm, sweet body, it’s you. How long has it been? It’s no wonder you’re grumpy as hell. We’re lucky you haven’t gone on a rampage with all the tension you have pent up.”
Irritation flashed, and a hot puff of air escaped my nose.
Dude knew I’d gone on plenty of rampages.
And I didn’t even want to think about getting my dick wet.
I’d done plenty of fucking back in my days in the MC, but with every body I blew through, the hollowness grew. That cavern whittled deeper and deeper because I didn’t deserve to be touched or pleasured.
When I came to Moonlit Ridge, I fully gave myself over to isolation.
Theo reached out and gripped me by the shoulder. “Just giving you shit, man.”
He angled down to make sure he was meeting my eye. “But maybe this is your opportunity to make a change. Maybe she is here for something bigger than the temporary. Maybe it’s time you forgave yourself.”
Grief clutched my conscience, and the old anger pulsed around it.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I grated out, needing to cut the conversation off before it devolved any further.
I turned on my heel and stormed down the sidewalk to Theo shouting behind me, “It’s time to join the living, brother.”
I just put my head down and didn’t respond as I weaved through the crush of people browsing along Ninth Street.
Theo should know better than feeding me that bullshit. There was no forgiving myself. No way to make amends.
It was already done.
Signed on my spirit and scarred on my flesh.
And still, I was digging out my phone as I strode around the side of the building so I could get to where I left my bike parked in the alley, my heart beating wild as I tapped out a message.
Me
You good?
It didn’t take but a second for her to respond. Still, waiting for it felt like an eternity.
Wallflower
We’re great but your rug has seen better days. Eva spilled milk on it. I told her to stay at the table while I took a shower. I guess it’s a good indication of what you’re in for.
I could feel the self-deprecation woven in the words. Her typical lightness, all while the undertone of graveness underscored her statement.
She kept nudging her request in my direction, the threat of it lingering in the air.
Another text blipped in behind it.
Wallflower
I’m really sorry, Cash.
Me
I don’t care about a fucking rug, Daisy.
Possessions could be replaced. People could not.
Wallflower
I’m sorry for all of it. For coming here. For asking something of you that you don’t want to give. I’m sorry that we’re in your way and so obviously making life hard on you. I’m just…sorry.
Heaviness pulled at my consciousness. A war waged in the middle of it.
I wanted to give her everything, but how the fuck could I give her this? She didn’t know what she was asking or who she was really asking it of. There was no love left inside me.
I had nothing to give those kids other than my pain and anger.
My rage and my sorrow.
My heart was a cold, vacant place.
Stone.
A bath of brittle violence the only thing that kept me moving. The blood that sustained the life that tore through my veins.
If she knew a fraction of the things I’d done, she would have packed their belongings back into their car and run.
Fled from who I was.
But if she knew my ultimate sin?
I tried to stand beneath the shame that crushed down on my shoulders, and I forced myself to tap out a message.
Me
I’m going to fix this, Daisy. I’m going to find him and end the threat so you and those kids can live the life you deserve. Together.
Then she wouldn’t have to entertain this nonsense she was suggesting.
Wallflower
Is it wrong if I want you in it?
I was unprepared for her question. For her to give voice to the thing that had simmered between us for the last two weeks. An intensity that sucked the air from the room every time she stepped into it. An old feeling that should have been long dead but had reared its ugly head.
Me
You already had one bad man in your life, Daisy. You don’t need another.
Wallflower
I don’t believe there’s a single thing bad about you, Cash Cunningham.
Me
That’s because there’s only goodness in you, and you can only see the best of those around you.
And I had no good left.