Chapter 23 Cash
TWENTY-THREE
CASH
Kane
My Little Warrior wanted to confirm that all you fuckers are going to show tomorrow.
Theo
I bet those were the exact words she used. Can just picture her saying it.
Kane
Okay, might’ve had to embellish a fraction. Just needed you all to know the severity of the situation. My Emery is excited to host, which means things are getting real serious around here.
Kane
One of you hoodlums says you’re not comin’, and I’ll be showing at your door with rope.
River
Pretty sure everything out of your mouth is an embellishment.
Kane
Wait. It’s all clear we aren’t going to Otto’s tomorrow, right? Because that brute is the real exaggerator.
Otto
While I wear that badge with pride, kind sir, we are, in fact, not hanging out here tomorrow. Raven is itching for our Little Luna to get to put her adorable little feet in the grass. And what my girls want, my girls get. So picnic at your house out on the lawn it is.
Kane
Good. Emery and Maci have been in the kitchen all afternoon preparing while I’ve been sweating away getting the backyard ready, so there is zero room for disappointment here. They need every single one of this family in attendance. Cash included.
I could feel the prod coming at me through the phone where I paced behind the closed door of my office as I read through the text thread with my brothers that had been pinging in over the last twenty minutes.
Every weekend, they included me on this ridiculous thread where they basically gave each other shit as confirmations were made that everyone was going to be in attendance.
I was threatened every time, and each time, I came up with some excuse why I couldn’t be there.
It wasn’t like I didn’t care about them.
Guess if I was being honest, it was the fear of caring too much.
Something that I couldn’t have when I’d pilfered everything else away.
I was lucky as fuck that I had them in the way that I did.
These guys who would have my back under any circumstance, no matter what. And their fucking sweet women who bent over backward trying to make me feel loved and welcome.
And their kids…
I inhaled a shaky breath, pacing in the darkness that had fallen over the land about thirty minutes ago.
Voices and pounding feet seeped in through the wall. No barriers to be found as Daisy rushed her kids around getting them ready for bed.
The entire day had been spent with them.
From the first crack of the morning when I’d been leaving my office hunting for that motherfucker and had run into Colin coming out of the bedroom door with mussed hair and sleepy eyes and the cutest smile on his face.
Through the morning and afternoon working on fortifying the railing of the porch so they would be safe out back to another delicious dinner that Daisy had insisted on preparing.
All while I’d toiled with the chaos that had crashed into my life. The promise that had been made and the role I was taking on.
Mind bent with what I had done.
How the fuck was I supposed to deal with this?
Daisy was the last person I deserved to have in my life.
She was the last trace of what I’d caused. What I’d done.
The only thing I could do was remember this was temporary.
This arrangement was fake.
It wasn’t real.
I owed her this, no matter how painful it was going to be.
Blowing out a heavy sigh, I sucked it up and tapped out a message.
Me
I’ll be there.
It took all of a second for messages to start blazing in.
Kane
Holy shit, the recluse is coming out of his hidey hole? What the hell is up with you, man?
Otto
Is this some kind of joke? You can’t go teasing my Moonflower like that. You know how many years Raven has been trying to get you to join the family.
River
You serious, brother?
Even in River’s bare words, I could tell he was worried. This was so out of character.
Me
It’s not like I don’t ever show up for anything.
Otto
Once in a blue moon, and I’m pretty sure we aren’t due one of those until Christmas.
Kane
Dude only shows when we’ve finally had enough and threaten to chop off his balls. Only motivation is when someone brings out the knife.
Otto
Probably Raven. She wants to make sure Uncle Cash is a part of Little Luna’s life. You know she’s the one who’ll actually be getting out the rope.
I almost chuckled. The number of times Raven had threatened to kidnap me, but then she’d look at me with those eyes the color of midnight that were as warm as could be.
Pure understanding.
Like she got my grief even though she didn’t know its source.
Like she knew I couldn’t bear the thought of getting too close to someone and then losing them.
Pain clawed around in my chest, but I forced myself to spit out what I was trying to say.
Me
I won’t be coming alone.
If I thought the responses flew in fast before, this was a flash flood.
Kane
What in the what did you say?
Otto
Excuse me, is this Cash? Have you fallen and hit your head? Where is my grumpy-ass bestie?
River
Who is coming with you?
Theo
Why don’t you all give him a minute to explain, yeah?
No question, Theo knew exactly what this was about after I confessed it to him yesterday.
Me
I’ll explain later tonight when I see you all face to face. Just wanted to let Kane and Emery know there will be five of us.
Us.
What bullshit.
There could never truly be an us.
Otto
What’s going on, man? You okay?
Concern oozed from the text.
That was the thing. No matter how much I tried to keep my distance, these guys always cared about me.
Truly.
Our connection forged on the streets of LA when we were all nothing more than kids. Running scared and homeless. We’d realized our only hope of survival was teaming up.
A power in numbers sort of thing.
Never would have thought it would stick. Develop into the one true thing that I had.
Me
I’m fine. I’ll explain later.
River
This a Sanctum issue?
Anger boiled in my guts when he brought attention to what was going on with Daisy.
Me
Yeah. Gonna need everyone on deck.
Knew they were dying to bombard me with a thousand questions, so I tapped out one more message before I tossed my phone onto my desk.
Me
Midnight.
I scrubbed a palm over my face, blew out a sigh, then turned back to my desk that had four different monitors. Surveillance equipment constantly running as I watched over the families we were trying to get to safety.
I normally could dig out anything, but I was having a hard time pinning Ethan. Everything led to a dead end. Made me certain he was as dirty as they came. Worse than Daisy likely knew.
I roughed the back of my hand over my mouth and moved to the window, pushed back the curtain, and peered out into the falling night.
A stir of foulness wafted back. Like he was right there. Under my nose.
It only made it ten thousand times worse knowing any number of monsters could be lurking besides him. The business we were in with Silas likely dragging fiends to my door.
I would be ready for any of them.
Inhaling a steadying breath, I forced myself to focus on what needed to be done here. With Daisy.
I punched in the code to the lock on the door and peered out. Voices carried from the children’s room, and I stepped out, making sure the door was locked tight before I moved down the hall.
Daisy was in the room on her knees drying Addy’s hair.
“Going to grab a few things from my room while you’re not in there.”
Daisy glanced at me. Cornflower eyes filled with the overwhelming emotion of the day. “It’s your room, Cash. You don’t need my permission.”
I only gave her a jut of my chin before I crossed the house and pushed open the door to my room. My attention immediately went to the closet on the left.
A dim light flooded out, whispering like some kind of fucked-up beacon.
That toil in my stomach only twisted. An excruciating knot that made it feel like it was squeezing the life out of me.
I warred, feet heavy.
Guilt assaulting me on all sides, but there was some faraway moan in the recesses of my spirit that told me this was okay. That she would have wanted this. She would have wanted me to stand for Daisy and those kids this way.
Swallowing around the ball of razors in my throat, I eased into my closet. Feeling like the floor was uneven beneath my feet.
The walls tilting.
The world spinning.
I moved to the back where I kept the few possessions that remained, and I reached overhead to pull the wooden box from the shelf.
I knelt and set it on the floor, felt like I was being slammed upside the head as I opened it.
The crushing of memories. The love and the joy and the utter pain that had been left in their wake.
I sifted through their things until I found what I was looking for. My lungs closed off as I reached for the little velvet bag where it was stored.
Before I lost my nerve, I slammed the lid closed, grabbed the box and set it back on the shelf, then shoved the small bag into my front pocket.
It was amazing that something so tiny could feel like it weighed a million pounds.
It was almost as heavy as the coaxing energy that came from outside my room.
The draw that persuaded and captivated.
Unavoidable.
I moved through it like I was wading through sludge, heart frantic as I moved out of the closet and to my bedroom door.
With my hand on the knob, I hesitated, wondering if I truly had pushed past a barrier where there would be no return. Wondering if after all of this was said and done, I’d cease to exist.
I clicked open my bedroom door right at the same time as Eva came running from their room.
She held a book over her head and had the teddy bear I’d picked out for her tucked under her other arm. Barefoot and long brown hair wet from her bath. Wearing her little butterfly pajamas.
“I want my Mr. Big Gwumpy Giant to wead to me!” she hollered.
Daisy emerged behind her, her cheeks flushed from obviously trying to wrangle all three children.
“How about Mommy reads the story to you?” she tried to persuade.