Chapter 11 #2
Mel’s jaw drops as she nods.“How’d you know?”
Helen grins and lifts one eyebrow, shrugging and holding her hands out to the side. “It’s a gift.”
I scoff. “Am I chopped liver now? Said hello to me, but now that Mel’s here, you don’t want to feed me too?” My words are a total joke, but I pout at Helen. I know I’m her favorite.
“You know good and well I’ll always make sure you’re fed, Kai. Don’t be cheeky.” Helen tuts at me with a pacifying pat on the head. “Be right back,” she says and turns to get our drinks and food.
“She’s so nice,” Mel gushes with a smile.
“She is.” I lean forward with my elbows on the table. “Helen is the one who made sure the four of us didn’t die from starvation or go homeless when we first moved here.”
“Really?”
“Oh yeah,” I say with a nod. “We all worked different positions here and she’d send us home with leftovers, marked down products, or whatever she could spare.”
“Wow, that’s so… kind.”
“It was. She’s never lost that mother-hen instinct toward us, though. And we try to send her new customers as often as we can. All our groceries are basically from here. Any time we go out and about, we try to stop here first and grab some food.”
Melody smiles. “That sounds like you guys. Always taking care of those you care about.” She says this lightly, like the past is gone, and I love the clarity in her eyes. The openness in her expression. Just like old times.
God, I’ve missed her.
I chuckle under my breath, looking down at my folded hands before looking back up at her.
But the way she changes is so mesmerizing. There’s a wall that immediately starts building in her eyes to cover the depths, blocking me from seeing how she feels. She schools her features and sits back, covering her chest with her arms.
“Why are we here?”
That was short lived.
I sigh and pull the hat off my head, setting it to the side.
“I wanted to bring you to where we started in New York. We didn’t leave Haven and were suddenly bestowed fame and riches.
We struggled. We all struggled with the decision to leave you, to leave Haven and try to make a name for ourselves.
But we always had one goal in mind.” Rubbing the back of my neck, I feel the nerves fluttering in my stomach.
The guys probably aren’t going to be super fucking happy with me telling our secrets, but I don’t see Mel willingly staying if we don’t.
“To become rockstars with gaggles of easy groupies falling at your feet as fast as possible?” she sneers sarcastically.
Rolling my eyes to push down the hurt I feel, I ask, “Do you really think that of us?”
“I don’t really know you guys anymore.”
“We haven’t changed. Not really. Not at our core,” I offer softly, leaning forward and holding my hand out. Slowly–so slowly I can see how it hurts her–she moves and places her small hand in mine. My heart skips a beat at the warmth of her skin.
I can tell she wants to say something, but she keeps her mouth shut. Shrugging instead, she leans her chin in her free hand, watching at me with an inpatient expression. “Well? What was your ‘one goal?’” she snaps.
Chuckling, I say, “We’ve always just wanted to be enough for you.
” And that is one hundred percent true. Reis might not admit it, but this drive and need for success is clearly to prove to her that he is nothing like what she said that day.
That he could—and can—be everything she said she wanted.
I don’t even know if he realizes that’s why he pushes so hard, but I do. And so do Markus and Adam.
Shit, we’ve talked about it many times when we’ve begged Reis for a break, but he always pushes for more.
“For me?” Her eyebrows shoot up comically before they furrow together in confusion. “Be real, Kai. You guys have barely thought about me and our little rag-tag group since high school.”
“Were you not just here when Helen embarrassed the hell out of me by saying how much we’ve talked and thought about, and remained obsessed with you?” I run my free hand through my hair and hold her hand tighter. “I mean, damn, Melody, have we not been obvious enough?”
The more I talk, the more anxious I become, which is a really weird and unfamiliar fucking feeling. One I’m not familiar with.
I don’t do anxious. I don’t do stress. I live my life decision by decision, and let the pieces fall where they may. And if I’m being honest, the only choice I’ve ever regretted is leaving Melody without giving her a chance to explain what we’d heard.
I let Reis talk me into it, and let my own insecurity about how much I wanted any kind of relationship with Melody drive my decision. I’ve learned from that awful day, and haven’t made a monumental life mistake like that again. Which is also why, when I saw her start to bolt, I ran right after her.
“Kai… Why’d you leave then?” Melody asks quietly. Her big brown eyes, dare I say, bleed with hope.
“Well, I–” I start to say and right then, right fucking then , Helen decides to put our drinks and food down.
“Bacon, egg, and cheese with a side of fresh fruit,” Helen announces to Melody and I can’t help but chuckle. Melody blinks in surprise and her jaw drops because Helen got what she was going to order. Like she always does.
“How did you…” Melody looks at the plate then back at Helen like someone who just experienced magic.
“Don’t ask, she won’t tell you her secret to this particular trick.
I’ve tried,” I explain, opening my packet of silverware as Helen sets down my plate in front of me.
A meat-heavy, scrambled egg burrito with a side of those tater-tot-like hashbrowns.
“I’ve known her for six years and she still won’t tell me how she does it,” I stage-whisper to Mel before looking at Helen with a nod in thanks. “Perfect, as always.”
“Enjoy, my lovelies.” Helen smirks and gives me a knowing wink. You can’t sneak anything by a mother. Or pseudo-grandmother.
“It’s just what I wanted,” Melody murmurs while opening her silverware.
“She has a gift.” I shrug and take a bite of my burrito. Goddamn, no matter how many times I eat it, it’s still so fucking good.
Something I’m sure I’ll say about Melody as well.
I let Melody take and savor a few bites of her food before I throw more information at her. But it’s gotta happen.
“Do you remember that fight you had with … whatever her name was? The day before we left?” I ask her.
“Vaguely.” Her eyes dart to the side, like she knows exactly what I’m talking about and is just trying to play it cool.
“You said some things…” I begin before the memory floats through my mind.
“ I don’t want any of them. They’re nothing to me.
Nothing. They’re not successful, and we all know they won’t be.
Especially not with that band we all know isn’t going anywhere.
They coast by on their looks and charm. They’re like my brothers; it’s sick to think of them like that.
I’ll tell you the truth: they latched onto me and I’ve been reaping the benefits.
No one but your dumbass messes with me. Talk about using them to make my life better. ”
“You said some things that Reis and I overheard,” I admit before clearing my throat and taking a sip of my coffee.
“Okay…” She lets the word trail off, like she doesn’t know what else to say.
“You specifically said you didn’t want any of us.
That we were nothing to you. Not going to be successful, that our band wasn’t going to make it.
That we coasted by on our looks and charm.
That we were like your brothers and it was sick to think of us like that.
That you were simply reaping the benefits of our protective tendencies.
” I deliver her words back to her, kindly, but even just saying them hurts.
“Ah,” Melody says, setting her fork down and swallowing uncomfortably. “I remember that conversation, actually.”
“I’m sure you do,” I snap.
“Your groupie wouldn’t stop picking on me.
Telling everyone that I was the band’s personal whore; that I couldn’t pick just one of you to date, so I let you all tag-team me.
So I said what I thought would get her to stop cornering me.
” She picks up her drink and takes a long sip, probably wishing there was alcohol in it.
I know I wish I had a drink right about now.
“ What? ”
She quirks an eyebrow at me. “You all knew. You all knew that our relationship was causing people to think I was a whore. People used to whisper around me all the fucking time. The only thing holding them back from physically getting to me was you guys. But it didn’t matter, because all I cared about was that I got you four. That you four cared about me.”
I think back to just before we left. I remember the whispering, but I don’t remember ever hearing more than the odd comment about Melody.
We always made sure people knew that if they messed with her, we’d fuck them up.
Any guy who had the nerve to say any shit about her or talk crudely about her, we took them out back behind the building, made sure they left with a black eye and an understanding.
No one said anything to us.
“No… we–I–didn’t know.” I scrub my hand over my face. I can’t believe she went through all that.
She tilts her head in question. “Why do you think I used to skip class?” I get it; I should’ve known. I don’t know how I didn’t. Was I that unobservant to everything except her?
“I don’t… I don’t know.”
“Well, high school fucking sucked for me. The only bright spot was you guys. Then you left me alone. You can imagine the fucking harassment that happened when you guys weren’t there to keep the bullies back.” Melody shakes her head and rolls her eyes before dropping her sandwich on the paper plate.
I do the same because all this… it makes me sick to my stomach.
“What happened?” I ask. I have to know. I need to know what I did to her all because I didn’t ask back then. I need to know.