Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
ABBI
H is eyes, those glorious hazel eyes with flecks of gold in them, narrow on me, and his jaw clenches. I’ve managed to keep my cool since he walked through that door, but my heart is pounding, and the mixture of emotions tonight has been exhausting.
Everything from embarrassment when he found the toy, to anger, to frustration, back to anger and jealousy, and now I simply want him.
The wanting him never goes away.
I want to know why he thinks he’s a bad bet. Why does he think that he can’t make a commitment to someone? There are so many questions, so much I’d like to talk with him about, but first, I’d like to have his hands on me.
And I haven’t felt this way about a man in a long, long time.
There’s a war going on in his eyes as he watches me, and finally, he stands and crosses to me, takes my hand, and pulls me up, then simply scoops me into his arms and sits with me in his lap.
“I might crush you.” I smile and drag my fingers down his cheek, but he doesn’t smile back. “Brady, if you don’t want to be here, it’s okay. You don’t owe me anything, and I’m sorry if you think you do because of what I said in the driveway earlier.”
“It’s not that,” he whispers, his voice ragged as he hovers, mere inches from my lips.
“What is it?”
He growls, and then his lips are on mine, and just like last time, I’m immediately full of electricity and yearning for him. His hand dives into my hair and fists at the nape, holding me where he wants me so he can plunder my mouth, his tongue bold and firm, taking exactly what he wants from me.
“You feel damn good,” he murmurs against my lips before he loops one arm around my back and easily shifts me to lie flat on the couch, hovering over me. He nudges my legs apart and settles between them, and I can feel the full, hard length of him nestled in my cleft. “So fucking beautiful.”
My hands fist in his shirt, and I’ve just managed to get it up and off of him, revealing rock-hard abs, sculpted so perfectly they’d make the gods weep, when my phone starts to ring with Erin’s ringtone.
“Ignore it,” he urges, but I shake my head.
“Can’t. It’s Erin. Could be Daisy.” I reach for the device on the coffee table and swallow hard before I accept the call. “Hello?”
“Hi, I hope I’m not interrupting time with your new boyfriend.” My heart stills, and then I remember that she’s talking about the toy, and I can’t help but bark out a laugh. “I have bad news. Both girls started getting sick about thirty minutes ago. I figure they caught something at school.”
“Oh, no. I’ll come get Daisy.”
“No, Rem’s already on his way in with her. She really wanted to go home.”
“Of course.” Brady backs away so I can sit up, but he doesn’t leave. “What’s wrong with the girls?”
“Upset stomach, nausea. They said their tummies hurt. I’m hoping Daisy makes it home before she starts to throw up. Holly’s already lost her dinner twice.”
“Ugh, thanks for the heads-up. I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry. Keep me posted.”
“Same goes. Thanks, Erin. Bye.” I hang up and sigh, tossing my arm over my face. “Damn it.”
“What do we need to do?”
I move my arm and stare up at him. “Huh?”
“What do we need to do to get ready for her? Puke bucket? Cold compress?” He stands and heads for the kitchen as if he’s on a mission.
I slowly rise from the couch and simply say, “Brady.”
He turns to me, those eyes no less hot, but his body less intense.
“Your girl’s sick, Abs.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Now, what do we need to do?”
We spend ten minutes getting things ready. The big bowl, a cold compress, and fresh pajamas on hand. When everything is as ready as it can be, Brady pulls me against him and kisses me, long and slow.
“You’ll never apologize to me again for being a mom.”
“It’s just such bad timing.” I drag my fingers down his cheek, enjoying the way the stubble feels on my skin, imagining the way it would have felt in other areas. “Rain check?”
“Rain, snow, sleet, hail…you name it.”
I laugh, and he kisses me again, and then I see the headlights through the window, and Brady pulls back from me.
“Let’s go get her,” he says.
The back passenger door flies open, and Daisy leans her head out and upchucks all over the snow, then immediately begins to cry.
“Oh, baby,” I hurry to her and scoop her up. She’s not a baby anymore, and she’s gotten heavier, so I’m grateful when Brady hurries over to take her from me. “Did she get the inside of your truck?”
“No,” Rem says, shaking his head. “She held it in until I pulled in here. I’d better head back. I’m pretty sure I have a mess waiting for me to help clean up.”
“Thanks for giving her a ride,” I say and notice the way Rem eyes Brady’s truck. Brady’s already inside with my daughter. “You’ll have to talk to him about this.”
“Plan to.” He grins at me and gets back into his truck. “Good luck.”
When I get inside, I hear Brady cooing to Daisy in the bathroom, where I hear her throwing up again, so I grab the cold compress and join them, placing it on the back of her neck.
“Mama,” she manages to get out as I kneel next to her.
“I know, baby. I’m so sorry. Do you need to throw up some more?”
Brady appears with a wet cloth and wipes her little face and lips, and Daisy shakes her head no.
“I don’t think so.”
“Okay. Let’s go snuggle on the couch.”
Brady lifts Daisy and gives her a ride to the living room, but Daisy shakes her head.
“I want to rock,” she says, her little voice weak.
“She’s always been a rocker,” I say with a small smile. “You can give her to me, and I’ll?—”
But he’s already sitting in the chair, Daisy curled up against his chest, and they’re rocking back and forth.
“What else can I do?” he asks me, his voice hushed as Daisy starts to fall asleep.
“Will you just… stay ?” I bite my lip, hating how vulnerable I sound, but he smiles at me over Daisy’s head.
“Looks like you’re stuck with me for a while,” he replies as he brushes his hand down her long hair.
“I’ll get some things, just in case.”
I bustle about, gathering the puke bowl, wet cloth, and cold compress and then pour a sports drink from the pantry—on hand for just these occasions—into a bottle with some ice so it’s cold, and set everything on the table next to Brady and Daisy, and then I lower myself onto the couch and rest my elbows on my knees, watching them.
Brady kisses the top of her head, rocking gently back and forth, back and forth.
“She’s already asleep,” he says in surprise.
“Throwing up’s hard work.” I offer him a half smile and then rub my hands down my face. “Hopefully, she’ll stay that way, but she’ll probably be in and out. Oh, I need to check for fever. I’ll be right back.”
I rush upstairs to Daisy’s bathroom and grab the thermometer, then return to them and point it at her forehead.
“One-oh-one,” I mutter. “Damn. We’ll keep an eye on that, and when she wakes up, I’ll give her some Tylenol.”
“Does she get sick very often?”
“Thankfully, no, but schools are cesspools of germs, so it happens a couple of times a year. I just hope that you don’t get sick.”
“I’m fine,” he says as I return to the couch and sit, then relax against the cushions, watching this handsome, sexy, sweet man rock my daughter. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Sure.” I bite my lip, hoping that he doesn’t ask something that I’ll have to lie about.
“Where’s her father?”
Nope. Don’t have to lie. “He passed away.” I pull my legs up under me and sit crisscross. “She wasn’t quite two yet, and her dad contracted pneumonia, and it got really bad. The infection spread through his body, and they couldn’t help him.”
Brady scowls and shakes his head. “That’s not what I was expecting. I thought you’d say that he took off at some point and hasn’t paid child support in years.”
I smile and shake my head. “No, Nate wouldn’t have done that. He was a good guy. Loved her to pieces. He was…comfortable.”
Brady raises an eyebrow at that, and I feel myself squirm.
“I don’t usually talk about him. In fact, I haven’t talked to Erin, Millie, and the others about him. They know he passed away, but that’s all.” I frown at the coffee table and then decide to just let the words come out. “Nate and I were best friends in school. I always wondered why he liked me so much. We were from opposite sides of the tracks, you know? His family was wealthy, and I didn’t have a family at all. I was in foster care. Maybe he thought he could help me or save me. Either way, we were really close, like I said. But never romantically. I was absolutely not Nate’s type of girl.”
“What was his type?” Brady asks.
“Tall, thin, brunette. I’m not even one of those things.” I smile at the memory. “Which was fine, because I didn’t think about him that way either. Our relationship was platonic.”
Brady raises an eyebrow and then looks down at Daisy and back at me.
“Yeah, well, we were at a college party—his college because I didn’t go—and there was alcohol involved.”
“Ah.” He nods slowly. “I get it.”
“Young and drunk and stupid.” I blow out a breath. “And Nate, being the responsible, kind, good guy that he was, insisted that we get married. And this might sound really bad, but at the time, I thought, I could do far worse. I knew him, I liked him, we got along well, he had a stable family, and we’d never have to worry about money. I talked myself into it. I was selfish.”
“You were young,” he reminds me.
“And scared,” I agree. “And pregnant. But, we were excited for her, and we continued being friends. We even had sex sometimes, even though it wasn’t exactly…passionate, I guess is the word. But it was fine. Everything was just fine. ”
“Until it wasn’t.”
“Yeah.” I blow out another breath. “He got sick. The truth is, I can’t imagine that we would have stayed married forever. Fine doesn’t cut it for the long term, but we always would have co-parented together, and he was my best friend. He protected us, and he loved us, and I was grateful. I am grateful. Because of him, I was able to start my business and buy this house, and Daisy will be able to go to college without worrying about how to pay for it. So, yes, I’m grateful to him, and I wish he was still here to be with her because he would have been a great dad.”
“I’m sorry he’s not.”
I nod, watching them rock. “Me, too. Now, tell me something about yourself that makes you tick because I’m pretty sure you didn’t watch your best friend die a horrible death.”
Brady brushes Daisy’s hair off of her forehead, kisses her there, and then clears his throat.
“Actually, I did.”
My heart sinks into my stomach. “Oh, shit, Brady.”
“I ride bulls for a living, and have for a long time. I think this will be my last season because I’m getting older, and it’s hard on the body. Anyway, Dirks Johnson was my best friend in the circuit. We’d compete against each other, and every year, our prize money was neck and neck. Some years he’d beat me, and some years I’d come out on top.”
I nod, listening, and wish I could be the one curled in his lap so I could wrap my arms around him and comfort him.
“About six years ago, we were in Colorado. His wife, Amy, and their daughter, Sierra, would come to every ride. They were in the stands that night.”
“Oh, no.” I cover my mouth, listening.
“I’d just finished riding and made it the whole eight seconds. I was on top, and if Dirks didn’t beat me, I’d win about a hundred thousand dollars that night.”
“Wow. Good money.”
“Yeah, and you risk your life for it,” he reminds me. “Anyway, I kept hoping he’d fall off. I wanted him to do well, but not too well. Because I’m a competitive bastard. Six seconds into his ride, everything went very wrong. He was bucked off and couldn’t get out of the way in time before the bull trampled his chest. Sent him into cardiac arrest and was dead before the eight seconds were up.”
“Jesus, Brady.” I do cross to him now and take Daisy out his arms, lay her on the couch, and then return to him, curl into him, and hold him tightly. “Jesus, I’m sorry.”
His arms come around me, and he holds on, buries his face in my neck, and breathes deeply.
“He left a wife and daughter, and they watched him die.”
I press a kiss to his cheek. “That’s horrible.”
“I don’t let my family watch me,” he says softly. “They want to, but I won’t let them because if anything happened to me, I refuse to have them see it.”
At just the mere thought of something like that happening to Brady, my blood runs cold, and tears spring to my eyes.
“How often does that happen?”
“Not often,” he says and rubs his hand up and down my back. “But it could .”
“And that’s why you won’t let yourself get involved in a relationship.”
“Bull riders aren’t?—”
“A good bet,” I finish for him.
“It’s what I do, Abbi. Riding that bull is the highest high in the world. It’s worth it to me, the sacrifices and the what-ifs. I’m pissed as hell that I’m starting to age out. And you’ve already been the one left behind with a baby to take care of by yourself. I won’t ever put you or anyone else through that. It’s selfish and irresponsible, and I won’t do it.”
Before I can reply, Daisy whimpers behind me, and I’m off his lap in a flash to take care of her, grabbing the puke bowl on the way.
And it’s a good thing because round two is underway, and Daisy gets sick again.
Brady walks into the kitchen and wets the cloth, then returns to wipe it over Daisy’s face.
“Can you sip on some juice?” I ask her. Daisy frowns, but when I put the straw against her lips, she takes a few tiny sips for me. “Good girl. I’m sorry, baby. Should we put you to bed for a while?”
“Rock,” she says, already closing her eyes again. “I just want to rock.”
“I can do it,” Brady offers, but I shake my head and lift her, muscle my way to the chair, and sit with her.
“I’ll take this shift,” I reply, settling her against me the way I’ve done since she was a baby.
Brady takes the bowl to the kitchen and cleans it out, not seeming to be bothered by it at all, and then returns with it and sets it next to me, in case there’s a round three.
“What else do you need?” he asks softly.
“I think we’re good here. You can head out if you want. I have a feeling that it’s going to be a long night.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Brady sits on the couch and kicks his sock-clad feet onto the coffee table, crosses his arms over his chest, and watches me for a while. “Why do you have nightmares, Abbi?”
My throat closes, and images too horrible to talk about run through my mind. I kiss Daisy’s head and level Brady with a stare.
“I’m not going to tell you that.”
He raises an eyebrow.
“I can’t,” I add softly. “It’ll put me in a bad place if I do, and I need to keep it together for Daisy.”
“Are you okay?”
I nod slowly. “Yes. I’m okay.”
“Are you safe?”
My eyes narrow at that. I am now. “As safe as I’ve ever been.”
“And if you’re not okay or safe, you’ll tell me?”
No. No, I wouldn’t tell him. I would simply disappear again. And this is the first time I lie to Brady Wild.
“Yes. I’d tell you.”