19. Julius
JULIUS
It was only supposed to shut her up, but it became so much more. It’s always hard to pull away once I start anything with her. I always have the insane urge to devour, and now was no different. As the kiss deepened, I knew I was bruising her lips, but even then, I found it hard to rein myself in.
Easy, Julius, easy. My heart thundered against my chest as we both got caught up in the moment.
I guess she forgot her fear when she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me in closer.
When it became too hard to breathe, I eased my lips away from hers and went on a journey along her neck, where she already bore the signs of my lust.
I didn’t even realize when I was doing it that I had marked her in so many places. Still, that need to claim her overrode caution, and I bit into her flesh again and again until her body, seemingly of its own accord, writhed beneath me as she moaned and grabbed at my shoulders.
As hot as she was, I needed her hotter; it’s the only way she’d be able to take me.
Her scent hit me in the gut when I stopped between her legs.
Still pink and puffy, almost untouched. That train of thought led my mind to a forbidden place, and my hands tightened in anger in the grip I already had on her thighs.
“How often did he have you?” I felt a darkness come over my eyes as my heart felt sick, almost like I had to throw up. She started to say something smart as usual, it was evident in her eyes, but the look in mine changed her mind.
She pulled me up her body and lifted her lips to cover mine, wrapping her arms around my neck, and my anger just went away. It’s not sure who devoured who this time around, as both our mouths grew raw from the onslaught.
By the time I made my way back between her thighs, she was out of breath. Her taste was the same as I remembered, her scent just as intoxicating. This right here, along with everything else about her, is the reason I haven’t been able to even look at another woman since that explosive night.
Every time I even thought about being with someone else, a wave of nausea would hit me out of nowhere, and I’d find the person repulsive. Meanwhile, this one….”Ouch!” I’d bitten her in my anger, something I never intended. Still, the thought of her being with him was more than I could bear.
It was your own doing, Julius; you can’t blame her. Fuck that. I abstained, and so should she. What gave her the right? I shook my head as my thoughts ran away from me and realized that I was choking her out. What the fuck is wrong with me?
In my renewed anger, I bit and sucked my way back down her body, driving my tongue into her until she screamed and came all over my mouth. When my mouth grew raw, I left off eating her out to leave my mark on her inner thighs.
JESSICA
My mind and body kept jumping from past to present.
So much of this felt familiar. But I didn’t want to remember, couldn’t afford to.
I’d spent a long time erasing that particular memory from my thoughts after months of suffering, but it was hard not to compare, mostly because my body was reacting the same way now as it did then.
His scent, the feel of his body pressed against mine, it all brought those long-buried memories rushing back, and it was hard to separate the two. It was as if time had not passed from then until now, as if we were just picking up where we left off that long-ago night.
That tight knot in my tummy grew even tighter with each touch of his lips or fingers against my heated flesh, and I was about to lose my mind trying to suppress myself.
I never expected to feel this again, this burning longing deep in my gut, a fire that only he has ever been able to put out. He's also the only one to ignite it.
This feeling is hard to put into words. The best I can do is say that it feels as if my soul has become attached to his, forming a bond that shouldn’t be broken. I’d felt it that night, had foolishly believed that he’d felt it too, only to be rejected in the morning light.
It was that soul-bonding feeling that had been hardest to overcome. For weeks, even months after that night, my body had longed for him to the point that I became an insomniac. But it was the soul that hurt the longest. That’s a pain that I never wish to endure ever again in this lifetime.
It had left me drained and almost desolate for months until I finally snapped out of it, or more like the feelings had become suppressed through rigorous effort on my end. At first, I’d tried finding someone to erase him from my mind, but it hadn’t taken long to realize that that was impossible.
Maybe that’s why none of my relationships have worked out.
Most men aren’t willing to forego sex for companionship, which was what I mostly had to offer.
This last relationship was the only one I’d let go any further than just handholding, and even then, I still couldn’t bring myself to cross that line.
Just the thought of being intimate with anyone else made me physically ill, something I’ve hidden very well.
I’ve used every excuse in the book to get out of going the distance, and I guess that was part of Dale’s reason for cheating.
He doesn’t get a pass, though, because all the others before him had had the decency to break up with me before moving on with someone else.
And now here I am, back to where it all began, where I swore I would never venture again. The only difference between this and that night is his possessive rantings. Back then, he barely spoke a word, other than praise whispered in my ear, words I had remembered for a very long time.
It was those words and the way he’d touched me, looked at me, that had lingered in my heart much longer than the actual act of lovemaking itself. Those actions had pierced my heart in a way that nothing else ever has.
I’m not sure how long my mind had wandered before he noticed, but he was none too pleased, given his reaction. “Focus!” The word was followed by a hard slap to my ass and his teeth in my damn inner thigh again.
What are you, a dog? Since you like biting people…
I pulled him up by his hair and bit into his Adam’s apple before finding a softer spot on his neck to leave my mark, though it was nowhere near what he had done to my poor body.
I could feel the slight sting in each and every one of the marks he’d left on me.
I just might be a masochist because it felt so good that I wanted more and was about to tease him into doing my bidding, but my phone rang just then. I had no intention of answering it, of course, but I have the stupid thing set up so that I can hear who’s calling, and it was Dale.
That seemed to trigger this one, who stopped what he was doing completely and glared down at me as if I were to blame. “Answer it!” I shook my head no, but he reached over and grabbed it before answering it himself. How the hell does he know my password?
There was no time to dwell on that right now because as soon as Dale heard his voice, it was as if he became possessed. “Jessica, you bitch, is that why you broke up with me? Who is he? Is he the guy from the restaurant? Is he the one who threatened my mother?”
What the hell was he rambling on about? “Yes, I am. Why are you calling my woman’s phone?”
“Hah, your woman. She was mine just a few weeks ago. How did she become yours?”
Dale, the clueless wonder, went on to lie about our loving and passionate relationship, which left me astounded. I tried knocking the phone out of Julius’s hand because the look in his eyes had changed, and I no longer felt safe.
“Don’t listen to him!” I kept my eyes on his because that was the safest bet while he breathed fire.
I’m going to kill Dale the first chance I get.
I was still trying to deflect when that hand came back around my throat again, and that idiot was still talking shit on the other line, egging this one on.
He used my distraction to slip inside me, and the sudden pain had me pulling back. “You…” This bastard.
“Shh, it’ll stop hurting soon.” Why did that sound so familiar? In fact, everything about this moment felt like déjà vu. That’s because we were here once before without the phone call, of course.
To stop me from crying out, he stuck his tongue in my mouth, and I must admit, it worked. The burning ache between my thighs seemed to ease bit by bit as I followed his mouth with mine, trying to keep up.
“What’re you two doing? Jessica, you bitch...” His tantrum got cut off midstream because Julius decided that now was a good time to hang up. He still had murder in his eyes when he looked down at me, but it couldn't be worse than mine. “Get out of me.”
“No!”
“You...” I didn't get to finish because once again, I found myself being suffocated by his tongue while he slipped deeper inside me. His hand around my throat held me in place while he ravaged my lips, even as he moved ever so slowly deep inside me.