Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
KIERAN
Our hasty goodbye to Cybil and Jane felt rude, and was unlike me. But they seemed understanding. Thank God. ’Cause I could barely tear my gaze off Cesar. And I sure as shit couldn’t refuse him. Not when Cesar dropped the usual fighter swagger, the tough demeanor he often showed, and let me see his real feelings.
We drove like demons to his place, but once inside, Cesar hesitated outside of his bedroom. “Are you sure? I’ve never known you to be with any guy.”
“I’m sure.” I smiled, appreciating the concern in his dark eyes. I stepped closer to him. “I don’t know what it means about my sexuality or whatever. I’m good with being bisexual, if that’s what this is. Or I’m good with just wanting one man. Who’s always been there. Who’s the guy I trust with everything. This simply takes it to the next level. With girls, it was always pleasant, nice enough… And I’m only just realizing how lukewarm a word nice is. With you, Cesar? All these intense feelings are tangled inside of me, and they were always there, waiting to get loose. I just didn’t know it.” I shrugged. “Clueless as usual.”
“You’re not clueless. You’re fucking amazing.”
My mouth dropped open. “Me? I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. You work hard, and you’re generous to others, even to some who don’t deserve it. You are thoughtful and optimistic, and always there for everybody. That’s not nothing. And you bring out the best in me, you make me stronger, braver. Better.”
I searched his face. “Thanks. You don’t normally…”
“Gush like this?” His mouth curled. “Yeah, it’s like now that I’ve told you how I feel, after years of hiding it, I can’t stop gushing.”
“I like the gushing,” I told him softly.
And I really did. The idea that Cesar had been in love with me all this time, floored me. It also made me want him. Not only with my body, although I craved his touch more and more. But my heart melted with his every word. Cesar—he knew me. My flaws. Yet he still had wonder in his voice when he spoke. I wanted the look in his eyes, those truthful words, his love. I wanted it all.
I swayed closer. Was I anxious? A little. Maybe more than a little. But I was also curious.
He began to kiss the side of my neck, and I shivered at the electric charge his lips caused on my throat. I couldn’t think, much less find any words.
Cesar spoke for us both. “Is this okay?” he asked as he removed my shirt. His mouth trailed along every inch of exposed skin.
“Uh-huh.”
He continued the soft kisses, moving along my chest. And it was so good, being taken care of this way. Cradled against his bigger body. His tongue swept over my nipples and I gasped.
“Like that?”
I moaned in answer. I usually paid attention to a girl’s breasts, and ignored my own chest and nipples. I had no idea how sensitive they were. But as Cesar sucked on one hard nub and then the other, I writhed helplessly in his arms.
“Can I do this?” He stroked my dick through my pants.
“Not yet,” I managed to say. I wanted to last.
Trembling still, I reached to undress Cesar, taking off his shirt. His broad shoulders, hard stomach, thick dick, long legs. How had I never seen him as beautiful before. I ran my hands over his skin, then circled around to his peach of an ass. I dug my hands in, kneading the firm pert flesh through his jeans. It was perfect, round and thick, and muscled. I had always appreciated a good ass. Cesar’s though, was a work of fucking art. Nearing the crease of his buttocks, I pinched a little. “I need to get you completely undressed.”
“Soon.” He exhaled sharply, closing his eyes.
“Ever since you told me you like to bottom, I’ve thought about your ass,” I confessed. “How I wanted to lick it, bite it, fuck it.”
“Yes, to all of that,” Cesar growled, opening his eyes. “But not until I taste your cock.”
I froze, realizing for all we’d shared as friends, I’d never told him about my condition.
“What’s wrong?” Cesar asked. “If you’re worried, I’m good. I tested negative after Joey and there’s been nobody since. And I’m on PrEP.”
“No, and I’m good too. I went to the doctor and got tested for a bunch of stuff.” I bit my lip.
“What is it? Are you sick?” His face turned ashen.
“No, nothing like that,” I assured him.
Cesar exhaled loudly. “Then what?”
“Give me a second.” I buried my hot face in the crook of his neck.
Cesar simply held me.
“Okay.” I breathed out, drawing courage from his embrace. “I think, maybe, don’t suck me. I mean, obviously, I want that… But I’m—too much.”
“How are you too much?”
“I have this thing with my sperm, like I have excessive amounts. I—the doctor—it’s called hyperspermia. And I’m totally healthy, but I…” I swallowed hard. “I produce like mega amounts of it.”
“Why the hell didn’t I know about this?”
“It was embarrassing.”
“There’s nothing you can’t tell me,” Cesar said.
I looked up at him and smiled. “Same. But you were going through a lot with your mother around that time. Anyhow, I’ve had a long time since being with anybody and the doctor mentioned that abstinence can make it worse… So, there might be a lot of cum. You should be warned or whatever. It’s like… a lot.”
“And this is a problem, why?” Cesar asked dryly.
I nudged his side. “I’m serious. All the girls I have been with choke, even ones who like giving blow jobs. And sometimes I need to use a double condom. It’s a real thing.”
“All right, I got it.”
Relief went through my whole body. “Okay, so we can skip anything where I might—er?—”
“Flood me with cum?”
“Oh, fuck off. And here I thought you were being understanding.” My cheeks burned.
“I’m sorry. I do understand, and I’m touched you’re warning me. Honest.” He cupped the side of my face, waiting until I finally met his gaze. “But I want. All of it. I don’t care if I choke. I think I can handle it, but I’ll see. And you know how competitive I can get.” He gave me a wicked smile, but his eyes were full of sweetness.
I hesitated. Could he handle it? Maybe, but I knew Cesar meant what he said. He wanted me, all of me, including my gallons of sperm. And I wanted… my dick in his mouth.
“Get on your knees and show me,” I ordered softly.
Cesar blinked, surprised, then dropped to his knees.
I shucked off the rest of my clothes, carelessly scattering my shirt, socks, jeans, and underwear until I stood proudly before him. My body wasn’t a work of muscle like Cesar’s, but I could see the appreciation in his gaze, which gave me confidence. Not to mention my cock was already pushing out a glistening head of seed.
He bent forward.
“Wait!”
“What now?” But his face was lit with humor, even as desire flashed in his eyes.
“Are you sure this is okay?”
“Jesus, yes! I was sure the second you ordered me on my knees.”
“You want me bossing you around a little?”
“Boss me before you beg me.” He smirked. “And I’m gonna drain you dry.”
I snickered. Cesar still didn’t seem to get exactly how much cum I could shoot. Drain me dry? Not a chance. But my cock still lengthened with interest.
Cesar stopped talking, and his tongue darted out to lick my slit. I sucked in a harsh breath, immediately off kilter, my nerves thrumming on high alert. I’d never had anybody pay such attention to my cock. Instead of simply sucking it down, Cesar was taking his time. He swiped his tongue across the slit again, making me tremble. The anticipation was unbearable. When he did finally deep-throat me, I might not survive it.
He groaned at my taste, like my dick was the Promised Land. His breath was so warm, and it blew across my skin, making me shiver. A line was crossed that I’d never thought would happen. Christ almighty! Cesar is holding me, touching me. This is real. Despite all my bravado, I felt a little scared. What did all this mean? Where would it lead? And a fleeting worry over my excessive ejaculation flickered through my brain too.
Cesar stilled, as if he sensed it. He looked up at me. “I won’t let anything happen that you don’t want. Just say the word, anytime, and we can stop.” He cupped my balls. “I know how much you care about us and our friendship. But you need to know that nothing can change that. We’re forever, you and me, our friendship is forever. If you don’t want this, it’s okay. Like I said, I’m never going to stop being your friend. You’re amazing and I want you, but please don’t do this if you don’t want it. ’Cause I can respect that. I respect you. And I just want you to feel good?—”
I pressed my finger to his lips. “I want this.” And holy hell, I did. I wanted him to touch me everywhere, taste me everywhere. My heart beat rapidly—he had already made me come alive in ways I’d only imagined.
“Yeah?” Cesar questioned, still worried. “I don’t want to fuck us up.”
“Lick my tip again,” I commanded. Half terrified he’d stop if I don’t say it right. My body tensed. I wanted to pull him closer and never have him break contact.
He lowered his head again and then pressed a gentle kiss at my cockhead. “Are you sure?”
“Yes!” I gasped as he nuzzled my sensitive tip. “Stop asking me that!”
Ripples of need coursed through me. God, I ached for him. I wanted this more than anything. Ever.
Cesar chuckled. “Okay.”
He swept his tongue over me and I made a quick inhale, the need increasing to a pounding of my heart. I wrapped my arms around his back.
“I’ll take care of you,” Cesar whispered.
I knew he would.
His tongue traced my head. Small licks, then a longer one over the slit. It felt so different than the girls I’d been with. Not only because it was a man handling my cock, but because it was Cesar. His tongue was consuming me already. I groaned, tightening my arms around him.
“Again,” I ordered, my voice hoarse with need. Inside, I was a wreck. But instinct told me Cesar needed my confident words.
Cesar licked the underside of my cock, skimming the length. Pleasure shot through me like a firework and I moaned as my cock swelled in response. Part of me was shocked at the sight of Cesar’s mouth on my dick. His big body cradling mine. It was so sexy. Cesar was made for me. The thought raced across my mind. We’ve always been headed toward this moment. His fingers gently stroked my ball sack.
“Now what do you want?” His voice was low.
“Take me inside your mouth.” My voice broke, so desperate I could hardly get the words out. Our eyes met and Cesar smiled. His gorgeous, real smile. I could explode from that smile alone. Or from those sweet kisses, the gentle strokes. But I wanted it all.
“Suck me.” I returned his smile, but my lips quivered. Cesar inhaled a sharp breath. He looked as if he’d say something, but didn’t. He just obeyed and began to suck me. How he sucked me. There were no words for the hot waves of sensation his mouth created. Fuck. Each second of pleasure felt endless.
“Damn, you’re wet with precum.” He gave a soft groan. “I want to taste it all.”
I flushed and we exchanged a heated glance.
“Hell yeah,” I said.
“I want to make you come apart.”
He massaged my balls with a rough hand now, I could feel the callouses on his finger pads, like sandpaper around my nuts. Delicious sandpaper, making my balls ache with excitement. And his mouth—holy hell. Cesar’s generous, lush mouth knew how to work a dick. He licked the underside of my cock, humming a little.
My toes began to curl. I was trying so much to keep it in check, because when it started… my actual jizz was crazy. Despite Cesar’s words getting me excited, I couldn’t control the amount that would happen. I tangled my hand in his thick dark hair. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from Cesar on his knees, his lips kissing my cock. He swirled his tongue around the slit, tasting, teasing, as my heart pounded.
I trembled as my balls seized. It was starting… My cum began to ooze out. Cesar grunted at the first wave of cum, and he took my dick all the way into his mouth. He sucked me firmly, creating pleasure with each strong pull. Moaning, I clamped my thighs at his shoulders and grabbed his hair with one hand.
Cesar growled in response. “I want to make you crazy,” he said at my cock. “I will make you forget anybody before me.” He gave a light suck at my tip.
I let loose a guttural cry, rocking my hips up.
“That’s right,” Cesar crooned. He immediately returned to sucking me. Holy hell, it was beyond everything. Pressure built inside of me. Consuming me.
“Oh, God!” I shouted, unable to fight it. A steady stream of cum began, clear and thick. This was usually where the girls would choke, even before I fully came, and finish me with their hand. Not Cesar.
He swallowed the first load with ease, working his throat muscles. Wet heat surrounded my cock. My balls tightened with another load about to release, and I gave a low moan. I shot deeply into his mouth. Cesar grunted, gagged a moment, but then regrouped just when I might have pulled back. He held my ass with a strong hand, and my butt clenched, my balls tingled, and desire electrified my body as another round of cum flooded Cesar’s mouth. Some dribbled out of his lips and down his chin, but he hung in there, licking the excess before sucking me again.
“Cesar!” I screamed his name, writhing helplessly in his grip. He was right, I went from bossy to begging in no time.
But Jesus, it had never been like this with anybody else. Not only because Cesar was experienced at blow jobs, but because… I trusted him like nobody else. He would tell me if it was too much. He would take care of me if I embarrassed myself. So, there would be no embarrassment, no shame. Reams of cum began, like a river of it now. Cesar was swallowing, groaning in pleasure, swallowing again.
When my legs trembled as small shocks made them weak, he nudged my thighs apart, pulled me closer, his hand still on my ass. He practically held me up as I shot load after load of warm thick cum. He sucked me deeper, every inch of me in his mouth.
My breath hitched. Cesar’s eyes were shut, he sucked in greedy sounding noises, and I fought to keep my own eyes open to watch him. He was vulnerable in a way I’d never seen. My heart fluttered as I looked at him. His mouth sealed over my cock. His big arms wrapped around me now.
I yanked his hair in warning that major spunk was coming. My body froze a moment, and I tried to offer him another chance to pull away.
He only held me harder.
I let go. Reams of cum. “Ohhhh.” My eyes could no longer stay open. My shaking increased as my seed blasted him.
Cesar sputtered. He drew his mouth back a moment. I knew my cum coated his face, but I couldn’t stop it. He licked the slit, lapping some onto his tongue.
“Christ,” I heard him mutter. “So good.”
Then his mouth was back. Sucking me through another wave. His amazing mouth. I was helpless before it. I roared as a final burst of cum erupted. I fucked his mouth, beyond caring, needing Cesar to take it. All of it.
He did. Hard pulls. His throat working. His mouth working. I ground my cock against him. Cum. More cum. Cesar had to take a break. He pulled away to swallow.
“Okay?” I asked. “We can stop.”
“Hell, no. I’m fine. I’m addicted to your taste already.”
“Good thing since there’s so much of it.”
We laughed. Smiling at each other. Then Cesar went back to sucking and I went back to fucking his face. How weird it was to laugh one moment and be panting the next. But maybe that was what sex was like when you cared about each other?
Cesar bopped his head, taking me farther in. I staggered forward, and would have fallen, if not for his strong grip. The strong sucks had me begging for more. My whole body quaked until finally, he let my spent dick fall from his mouth and I opened my eyes in time to see him licking his lips.
“That was…” I shook my head.
“Fuck, yeah it was. I worshipped your cum,” he bragged.
But it was the truth too. I felt worshipped.
“But, what about you? I didn’t—I could try sucking you off and?—”
“No need.” Cesar gestured to a wet spot on his blue jeans. “I haven’t juiced my pants since middle school, but you make me lose my mind.”
I stared at the spot like a badge of honor.
Without talking, Cesar stood, and held out his hand for mine. We went to the bathroom and showered. Taking turns soaping each other, playing a little with the shower nozzle.
We laughed, content, still with few words. We didn’t need them. When you were the best of friends, turning into lovers felt natural. My usual self-doubt had been sucked away along with my endless amount of cum.
After we’d gone to bed he spooned me. His mouth at my shoulder, his bigger body cuddling mine. What surprised me was how good it felt to be held like this, how right. All my doubts vanished. My questions about who I was answered. I turned and cuddled Cesar closer.
Whoever I’d been attracted to in the past, I was meant for Cesar. I could be myself with him. We’d cried on each other when hurt in the past, laughed with each other daily, comforted each other over future worries. This was new, yet familiar. Unexpected, exciting, thrilling—but also… Sweet, beautiful, like home. I wanted Cesar.
It was freeing me. And I hadn’t even understood how much of me I locked away from previous partners. Or how at ease I would be with him.
I smiled and Cesar traced it with the edge of his thumb. “You have a great smile.”
I caught my breath at the tenderness shining in Cesar’s gaze. He was crazy. His smile was the beautiful one. Mine was cute, at best. Yet I knew he meant every word. Nobody ever made me feel this beautiful before. I ached for it. I could feel something blooming inside of me, something that had been hidden away before.
“God, you felt so damn good.” He ghosted his fingers over my face. “You just destroyed every secret fantasy I’ve had about you. And I’ve had a lot.”
“Really?”
He simply stared at me. His eyes suddenly full of tears.
“Cesar,” I sighed his name. I lay in his arms, waiting for a kiss for what seemed an eternity. “My heart is racing. Can you feel it?” I pressed his hand to my chest. He’d given me such sweet words, I wanted to give him some. But it took me a moment to say more, my brain still processing what had happened. How long Cesar had wanted this to happen.
“I feel it,” he whispered, his hand making soft circles over my chest.
I swallowed, gathering my words together. “Even as we just lie here, my heart’s still feeling it all. And it never wants to stop beating with all the feelings.” Cesar stared at me, his eyes big and hopeful. His hand on my chest. “Kiss me… please.”
“Kieran,” he groaned, as if my plea caused him pain.
I didn’t wait any longer, but took his mouth. Clasping his mouth to mine, I explored his taste. He moved his hand to softly stroke the side of my neck as I deepened the kiss. Our chests pressed together and I swear I could feel his heart too. Beating like mine, as if promising to take care of each other. Maybe that was silly, to make so much of this moment. But as we kissed slowly, honestly, it felt true.
A thousand things crossed my mind with this single kiss. But most of all, I just felt incredibly happy. Kissing my best friend was the best.