Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
KIERAN
My dad’s tone was worried, tense. As I listened relief flooded me that this was a work issue, not a family one. Still, the timing sucked.
“Okay, I understand,” I reassured Dad, ending the call. I turned to Cesar. “Fuck, I’m sorry, but I gotta go. It’s a plumbing emergency.”
“What about Ronald?”
“He’s on vacation. That’s why Dad’s going in. Sorry.” He kissed me. “The roads are icy, so just stay here. Dad’s picking me up in the truck.”
“I don’t want you out there.” Cesar’s face drained of color. “If anything happened to you…”
“I promise to be careful. And you know how my dad takes care of the truck. It’s made for hard weather.”
“Still.” Cesar’s teeth sank into his lower lip.
“This is my job. I don’t always like it when you’re in the ring and somebody is hurting you. Sometimes, I hate it. I want to jump in there and stop the fight. But I remind myself it’s your job and trust you to do it. Please give me that same trust in return.”
“I’m really not a trusting type. But for you?” He drew in a deep breath. His jaw worked a moment before he added, “God, I’d trust you with anything.”
I blinked. My heart swelling with pride at his words. My world felt suddenly better, brighter.
“But fucking text me when you arrive at the site.” He growled. “Like you said, the roads aren’t great. And if I don’t hear from you, I’m coming to get your ass.”
“Yeah, will do. Please don’t worry. My dad says the storm is almost passing and the plows should be out soon, but I’ll text you when we get there. Oh, hell, I don’t have time to water the plants or anything. And I didn’t do it yesterday.”
“I’ll take care of them.” I gave Cesar a doubtful look. “I got it. The plants will be fine.” Cesar put a hand to his heart in a pledge. “Don’t you trust me ?”
“Jerk.” I laughed. “Okay, I trust you with my plant-babies. I have no idea how long I’ll be, so if the roads clear, you don’t have to wait.”
Cesar took my hand, kissing the center of my palm. “I’ll wait.” He leaned closer. “And when you do get back, I plan to do hot, dirty things to you.”
My breath hitched. “I’ll hold you to that.”
I texted Cesar when my dad and I got to the site. Dad and I hadn’t spoken much as he drove there. He had retired and shouldn’t be on this call, but I knew better than to argue with him. The business was in his blood. The money was never regular, and it caused him stress many times. Dad was in his fifties, but he looked much older, and he had some off and on pain in his hands that helped us persuade him to retire. I’d more or less inherited the job, but Dad… he’d built this business. He would be there through any emergency, retired or not.
“Thanks for coming out. I wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t a two-man job.”
“No problem.” I climbed out of the truck.
Dad also came into the office a lot for somebody retired. We all wished he could let it go: the bills, the insurance, the emergencies that never ended. One day he would, I silently vowed. When Ronald stopped giving me bad reports or whatever.
A little while later, we’d replaced the burst pipe. I used the wet vac on the water, getting my pants soaked as I did so. It was amazing how fast water could damage a home. Dad crouched over the last broken pipe. We worked together, clicking off items that needed to be done, understanding the different tasks with few words.
We took a break, drinking my mom’s cider and eating her sandwiches.
“Don’t tell your mother, but I kinda miss this,” Dad mused, biting into his peanut butter and jelly.
“Fighting bad weather, fixing pipes, or getting dirty?”
“All of it. It’s damn hard to accept my life here is pretty much over. Back when I built the business up, every day felt like a new one. Where I could see Coburn Plumbing becoming bigger, better. It’s hard to fathom that part of life is behind me.”
“You need to let go.”
“Yeah, Ronald says that same thing whenever I stop by the office.”
“Ronald.” A sour taste hit the back of my mouth just saying his name.
“He’s not that bad,” Dad said.
I gritted my teeth at his words.
“What? You have something to say about Ronald?”
“He’s a good plumber. I’ll give him that. But he acts like I owe him or something. And he’s moody, mean even. I know you trust him, Dad, but Ronald’s not fair, at least not with me.”
It felt good to finally tell him. Cesar was right about my holding things inside too much, trying to be too positive even when it hurt me.
“I kept hoping Ronald and I could move past that phase, but we don’t seem to be. I’m not asking you to fix it. I can handle it. Okay?” My mouth twisted. “But don’t talk to me about what a great guy Ronald is.”
“Oh, Kieran,” Dad said.
“I’m not quitting or anything, if that’s what you think. I’m staying. I want the business, Dad. I’m like you. Every day I go in, I picture its future. How it can be bigger and better. And I want it. And I’ll speak with Ronald when he’s back from his vacation. I should have done it long ago. But I’m just telling you how it is.”
“That’s the trouble, son, you’re off base. I’m thrilled you want to stay in the family business, but as for Ronald…”
“What?”
Dad sighed. “This is all my fault. Not Ronald’s.”
“How could that be? You aren’t there to see how he treats me.”
“No, but I’m the reason he has tested you so harshly.” Dad swallowed visibly. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? For what… I don’t understand,” I replied carefully. My heart lodged in my throat and odd pressure rose in my chest.
Dad put his food down and rested a hand on my shoulder. “I wanted to make sure you didn’t just coast into taking over the business one day. That you earned it, every sink and toilet. Every problem you had to work through. I asked Ronald to be tough to build your character. So that someday when he retired too, you’d be ready for real problems. How to make a business work , how to pay the bills when the money runs tight, how to deal with angry customers. All of it. Or if it wasn’t for you, you’d have already found that out and left. Either way… I wanted you ready for the work. Wanted to make sure you earned the job.”
I shook my head. “Why ask Ronald to be a hard-ass and not simply talk to me?”
“Ahh.” Dad made a face. “I’m way too soft on you kids. You’d have seen right through me.” True. Despite his intimidating stance, and weather-beaten face, my dad was the easy parent. Dad grimaced. “You’re mad.”
“A little.”
Even though I understood Dad’s concerns and knew he loved me, it stung.
“I was wrong to go about it that way. Your mom and sisters told me to trust you with it, but I had to be sure.”
“So, everybody else in the family knows? Great.” I folded my arms to my chest. “Of course they all know. Our family is one big gossip factory.”
“It wasn’t like that. I told Mom, and one of the girls accidentally overheard… If it makes you feel better, son, they all disagreed with me, and they were right. I just wanted to be sure you really wanted this career, and weren’t just being helpful or doing it because you thought I expected it… You’ve changed your mind many times in the past, and although you are a solid plumber and always do a good job, I also want to be sure you’re sure being in this business is what you want. I handled it all wrong… Sorry.” He gave me a small, sad smile.
Normally, I forgave Dad or Mom quickly. Maybe it was sappy, but my closeness to my parents was important to me. My family was everything. Or… it used to be that way. Being with Cesar made me realize how many times I’d taken the easier path in order to avoid risking hurting anybody that I loved. How I could take care of others faster than I ever would care or stand up for myself.
I cleared my throat. “I’m not ready to accept the apology.”
“What?” Dad raised a bushy eyebrow.
“I need some time. I’m sure I will accept it, just not yet. Not until you accept that I’m a grown man. Yeah, in the past I’ve been a bit flighty and quit things, I get that, Dad. But you should have trusted me or voiced your concerns to me directly. It only damaged my working relationship with Ronald. That wasn’t fair to either of us,” I scolded. “I’m not a child and you have to respect that or I can work elsewhere.”
Part of me hated hurting Dad in any way. But being with Cesar, his trust in me, it gave me a new confidence to speak my mind. I felt stronger knowing I had Cesar supporting me, waiting for me.
Dad was silent a long moment. “Okay,” he said at last. “You’re not a child, Kieran. But you’ll always be my child. And right now? I’m so damn proud of you. I promise to let you and Ronald handle the work from this moment on.”
“Are you serious?”
“I mean every word. I really will be a silent partner.” Dad zipped his lips, making me laugh.
“Okay, old man. You better.”
Dad opened his arms and we hugged it out. He didn’t love to discuss things like feelings, preferring my mom handled that, but there was no one better at hugging than Dad. We parted a little awkwardly, but we were both smiling.
I thought of Cesar’s belief in me. Cesar, the strongest person I know, believed that I was strong. I knew there was still one more thing to say to my dad.
“Listen… I’m going to speak with Ronald about this after the holidays. I get you asked him to be hard on me, but he went too far.”
“What do you mean?”
“Criticism I can accept. Even harsh criticism. Ronald, though, he disrespected me. Belittled me. And there is no good reason for that.”
Dad startled. “No, there’s not… Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t want to run to you about it.” I shrugged. “But I’m going to talk to him.”
“We can do it together?”
“No, I’m speaking to him alone. I’m the one who needs to work with him. Who is going to be building the future of Coburn Plumbing? Me or you.”
“You,” Dad said softly.
“Right. So, you can give me advice or not, but it is up to me if I listen. And that includes if Ronald and I can work it out or not. Do you understand? I have to be independent of you.”
Dad shoved his hands in his pockets. “I get it. I won’t stand in your way, no matter what direction you and Ronald end up going in. I can see now I only made it worse.” He grimaced.
“Good.” I leveled a stern look at him.
“I’m sorry for not seeing you’re all grown up. I shouldn’t have interfered.”
“Thanks.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. This conversation was hard on us both.
“Anything else new?” Dad sounded eager to move on.
I hesitated. “Not really.”
We worked in silence for the next hour, finishing the cleanup. Tired, but satisfied with the job, Dad drove me back to my apartment.
“Unless you want to come home?” he asked.
“No, my place is fine.”
Funny how I felt more and more that my place was home. I’d been so nervous to move out, proud but nervous. When I first moved in, I called home each night. I longed for my mother’s cooking, my siblings, all of it. And I still loved going over to my folks’ house. But I was also learning how good it felt to stand on my own.
Dad slowed the truck down in front of my mailbox with a frown. “Isn’t that Cesar’s car?”
“Yeah, we were hanging out before you called.”
“You always are. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” Dad shut off the engine. “Thanks again for the assist.”
“Dad… Cesar might be here ’cause he’s become more than my friend.”
“More?” Dad repeated. He swallowed and his eyes went wide.
“Yeah, I kind of—er—I like him. Maybe I always had those feelings for him?”
“Oh. Like him… as a boyfriend?”
I flushed, nodding.
Dad twisted his hands in his lap a moment.
“Are you upset?” He’d accepted Elias, but it hadn’t been all smooth going. It had taken time.
“No, just a little surprised.”
“It surprised me too.”
“Cesar’s a good man. And he’s been a friend to you a long time. But go slowly, Kieran. You do have a tendency to rush.”
“I’ve known him since middle school,” I protested.
“I mean, it’s okay to go slow with your heart. But I’m glad you shared it with me, son. I want you to always share anything on your mind.” Dad gave me a sheepish look. “And thank goodness he wasn’t here with you today, or I might have had my ass handed to me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous! Cesar wouldn’t ever lay a finger on you.”
Dad chuckled. “He might have if he’d witnessed the hurt look on your face a moment ago.”
“Not even then,” I protested. “Cesar would only hurt folks in the ring. He’s a big softie outside of it. And he’s honest and—Gah. Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Dad smiled, gave me a quick hug, and left.
For a moment I stood outside my place. I have always loved Cesar as my best friend. Being in love with him? It felt natural, not rushed. I might mess up in other ways, but this friends to lovers stuff? I got this. I know my heart because I know Cesar’s. And our hearts fit.
“Hey.” I smiled widely at Cesar as I walked into my apartment.
“Why do you look so happy?”
“Just glad to be home.” I closed the apartment door, shedding my jacket and kicking off my muddy boots.
Cesar got off the couch and moved closer to me. “How did it go?”
“Fine.” I kept grinning at him.
He cleared his throat. “And ? Do you even see the green pets are alive?”
I broke my gaze from him with some reluctance and surveyed the room. “Yeah, I see. The plants look good.” I touched the dirt of the closest. It was moist, but not too wet, Cesar had done it right.
“One of them lost a leaf, but otherwise they all obeyed me,” Cesar joked.
“Fighting them into submission usually is not my style, but whatever works,” I kidded in return. “I need something to drink and then a shower.”
He nodded, following me quietly into the kitchen. When I opened my fridge for some iced tea, I gasped. It was full to the brim, stuffed full with ripe fruits, fresh veggies, and several meats.
I turned to Cesar. “What’d you do?”
“Looked as if you needed a food shop.” He shrugged. “You have all the plant food and spray and nothing for you.”
I swallowed hard. If I hadn’t already realized how strong my feelings were for him a moment ago… this would have clinched it. I hugged him fiercely, whispering, “You make feel so fucking special. When I’m with you, it’s everything. And when I’m away from you, I still feel you with me, making me stronger. Making me a better man.”
“I should have stocked your fridge and watered your plants years ago,” Cesar teased. But when our eyes met, his were serious. “I really don’t deserve you. You’re the better person.”
“Wanna fight over that.” I put up my fists.
“I never want to fight with you. Only be with you. Care for you.”
“Cesar…”
A muscle in his jaw jerked. “You have no clue how amazing being with you is for me. It’s a fucking miracle. But I’m so damn glad you think I’m worthy or that I make you feel special.”
We kissed and I groaned loudly at the touch of his lips. The kiss ended on a soft, grateful note. And that place deep inside me that was blossoming, grew. Shined.
To distract myself from all the overwhelming feelings, I looked back at the food which included my favorite type of cheese. I pulled it out and grabbed some fancy crackers he’d bought. “Eat with me.”
“Okay.”
I put the cheese and crackers on a plate, still stunned Cesar had shopped for me. “You shouldn’t have gone out on the icy roads,” I scolded.
“The plows went through. It was fine.”
I turned and took his face gently between my hands. “Thank you.”
“Welcome.” Cesar ran his thumb over my bottom lip. “Now, get some food in you. You must be starved.”
I was, actually, and ate a ton of crackers to prove it. After the snack, I yawned, unable to hide my exhaustion.
“I’d better get in that shower before I fall asleep in the kitchen.”
“Go, I’ll clean the dishes.”
I didn’t bother to argue. Cesar wouldn’t let me do them, I was sure. I hurried to my shower, quickly cleaning myself, before wrapping a towel at my middle and collapsing into the bed.
Cesar joined me there and I burrowed into his side. “Better?”
“Yeah. The shower felt good.”
“Good.” Cesar rubbed my back with a warm hand, making slow circles.
Having another person take care of you after a hard day was so nice. With a happy sigh, I began to drift off to sleep. I love him , I thought, my heart melting into something sure and sweet.