Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
CESAR
The next day, Kieran got it into his head that we had to find Hook’s Traveling Book Nook , and thank Cybil and Jane one final time.
“They put the idea of romance in my head,” he exclaimed. “I might not have asked you to kiss me if it wasn’t for them.”
“That was the eggnog.”
“Maybe.” He stuck out his tongue. “Or maybe it was the other cocktails I drank that night. Anyhow, can we go? Please?”
I was equal parts thrilled and terrified that Kieran and I were together. Mostly, thrilled. But I didn’t want anything to ruin the fragile new stage of our relationship. Kieran didn’t seem to realize there was nothing I wouldn’t do for him. No way I’d refuse him what he asked for.
“If you want to spend the day tracing down a bus,” I grumped.
But, of course, we went. Kieran stopped to buy them poinsettias tied with silver ribbons, before calling to see where the bus was today.
“They’re not too far, open until five. Isn’t that lucky? Cybil told me they go on vacation tomorrow, so I’m really glad I called. Aren’t you?”
“Yep, whoopee. Why not track them down instead of staying in bed today?”
Kieran just laughed at my sour tone. He was wearing a Santa hat and whistling. God, he was beautiful. Sparkling with youth and optimism. We were the same age, but I’d always felt so jaded and uptight, ready to fight the world, like I had to fight it.
With Kieran, everything tight inside of me eased. Things I’d feared, negative voices in my head, clamored less. I’d already jumped the biggest one—the fear of losing Kieran if he knew I was in love with him—so, the rest seemed small in comparison. I just had to trust Kieran might one day love me in return. He’d loved me as a friend for years, and now… he wanted me. I could work with that.
The parking lot was empty when we arrived. “Are you sure this was the location for the bus today?”
“I looked it up.” Kieran frowned. “This is right.”
We got out and walked the lot, as if the bus would somehow magically appear. But there was nothing except empty spaces for cars, a big garbage bin, and a closed restaurant. The snow was soggy as we walked back toward the car.
“I really wanted to give them the poinsettia.”
“I know.” I reached for his hand.
Just then, a loud bang sounded to the left of the garbage bin.
“What the hell?” I jumped in front of Kieran to check it out.
“Is it a raccoon?” he asked, coming over to see. “Oh my God!”
Kieran bent down before I could stop him.
“Careful, the thing might have rabies.”
“It’s a kitten, you dope.”
“Still, it’s in the garbage.”
“It’s near the garbage and afraid. Aren’t you, baby?” Kieran cooed, scooping the kitten to his chest. A faint meow answered him. “Aw, it’s like this little fellow was waiting for us. He actually looks like a miniature version of Jane’s cat.”
“You don’t need a pet. You’re so busy with the business, when would you have time?”
“True.” Kieran flashed me a wicked smile. “He’s meant for you.”
“Me?”
“Take him.”
“No, I—” Kieran thrust the kitten at me, and I automatically held it out in front of me. “What am I gonna do with a kitten?”
“Love it. You are the one who always wanted a pet for as long as I can remember. Well, he needs you, Cesar. Are you gonna turn away from this little guy? He’s meant to be yours.”
“Mine?” I stared at Kieran in shock.
“Yeah.” Kieran took off his Santa hat and put it on my head. “Congrats.”
I stared from Kieran to the kitten, its big green eyes looking as afraid as I felt.
“Hold him closer,” Kieran urged. “He needs you to cuddle him, not hold him like he’s a sack of unwanted groceries.” The kitten meowed a little louder, as if agreeing.
“Sorry.” I gently touched the kitten behind its triangle-shaped ear. “I’d never hurt you, buddy.” Kitten gave me a quick lick, its small tongue like sandpaper, before shutting its eyes and curling tightly against me. “Wow, he’s so soft,” I mumbled. “Maybe you’re right. I have always wanted a cat or dog.”
“Course I’m right. More than that, I think he’s a last gift from Jane and Cybil.”
“They wouldn’t just leave a poor kitten in a deserted parking lot.”
“No, of course not. I didn’t mean they really left this guy. Just… it’s their karma or something.”
“Shut up.” I rolled my eyes, and cuddled the kitten some more. A faint purr answered me.
“Aw, he likes you.”
After taking the kitten to a vet, buying out a pet store, and rushing back to my apartment, I still couldn’t quite accept I had a pet. Finally.
The first thing my kitten did was dash around the apartment, inspecting every corner, before collapsing with exhaustion onto my couch. Dash seemed the right name for him, especially since it could also stand for Dasher and Christmas.
“He’s so cute,” Kieran gushed.
I nodded, sitting next to Dash on the couch and gently stroking him behind one triangle-shaped ear.
“So is his owner,” Kieran teased. “There’s something about a big muscular dude being so careful and loving to a little animal.”
“Oh yeah? How about a big, muscled guy holding you?”
We left Dash on the couch and hurried into the bedroom, our arms locking around each other the minute we’d closed the door.
“So, my being a pet owner is a turn on?”
“You’re so sweet. I’ll happily fuck you,” Kieran confirmed, and gave his mega-watt smile.
With a groan, I quickly undressed, and we were laughing as we rolled onto my bed. Our lips met hungrily, and our arousals pressed at each other. The idea of Kieran inside me had my dick hard as hell. We rubbed against each other, and Kieran dug his fingers into my ass. I took our dicks into one hand and began to pump them.
“Oh! Oh, God—” Kieran cried, and his cum spurted.
Mine answered. I jerked his cockhead harder, and more cum erupted. Mine. His. Kieran’s an endless string of creamy goodness. It felt impossible that I had spent years without touching him, tasting him. I would never be able to go without him, not ever again.
We collapsed into a sweaty heap, but I was fucking floating. My whole body was light with joy.
“I didn’t mean to get so excited so fast.” Kieran buried his head at my shoulder. “Sorry. This time, I really wanted more.”
I stroked his back. “Don’t apologize. I loved every second of it.”
Kieran lifted his head, his eyes bright with emotion. “Me too. I—I love you, Cesar. I’m in love with you.”
I froze and must have given him a doubtful look.
“It might seem fast, but it’s always been right here.” He tapped his heart. “My love for you. Don’t worry, I know you need time to believe it. I get how deep your insecurities are after your dad left. And that you might think I’m being impulsive.” He kissed my lips tenderly. “But I’m not going anywhere.”
I swallowed the giant lump in my throat. I wanted so badly to believe in this. In us. Kieran, though, he understood how that also frightened me. To actually have what I wanted most in my life? It was scary.
“I love you,” I rasped. I wanted to give him all the pretty words, but tears stung my eyes. I couldn’t say more. Is this real? I wanted to believe in it. In us.
I used to think it was impossible. Kieran and I, leaving the friend zone . But it had happened. And now? Kieran was saying he loved me. Me! I vowed to protect this new version of us. Keep our relationship sweet and good. Just as Kieran was sweet and good. I’d value “us” forever. I’d take care of Kieran’s heart and soul for as long as he’d let me. I opened my mouth to tell him all of that, but a sob escaped me instead.
Kieran smiled and snuggled into me. He held me tightly to him as I cried a little.
Later, after changing the sheets and cleaning up, we brought Dash into the room with us.
I held the kitten out in front of me. “He’s so perfect.” I smiled widely.
“Stop smiling like that or I might have to kick Dash outside and have my way with you again.” Kieran laughed. “Man, your smile gets me. Maybe ’cause you scowl at so many others. How fierce you are in the ring. But in private? I get that smile.”
I put Dash down on the bed and leaned in to kiss him. “My smile is yours. My love is yours. I’m yours.” Kieran gasped and his eyes widened. Satisfaction curled through me. I’d found the right words after all. We snuggled together, content. Kieran read a romance and I watched one of my older fights on YouTube to review, while Dash slept between us.
Normally, I’d be restless before a fight. But my ankle had healed, and my heart was overflowing. Whatever the outcome of my fight on New Year’s, I was a winner. I still couldn’t believe this wasn’t a dream. But Kieran was here beside me, and I felt loved and treasured as never before.