Chapter 33
Cai
I sat with Elara holding me for a few minutes before pulling back and wiping the tears from my face, attempting to pull myself together again.
“I have to go and find Lord Burrow,” I said, clearing my throat. “We need to have a discussion about today and our plans for moving forward.”
I stood up from the bed and Elara was quick to follow. “Do you really think that’s a good idea after everything that has happened today?”
I was already making my way towards her bedroom door, my mind occupied with too many thoughts at once.
Today was a big victory and I should have been happy.
But there were also losses, and the road that lay ahead of us was still a very long and treacherous one.
This was only the beginning. I was an exiled king in the process of reclaiming my throne.
But I needed more than a palace and a throne.
I needed loyal soldiers and battle plans.
“Maybe you should just take the rest of the day for yourself. All these things can wait till tomorrow.”
“It can’t wait,” I replied, reaching the door. “Every minute we don’t do something is a minute that Aries comes closer to destroying us.”
I stepped out of her room, thinking about our next steps and of all the things I had to take care of in the upcoming days. The news that we’d reclaimed Mistwood wouldn’t take long to reach Aries, and I had no doubts that he would retaliate.
“Cai, you just experienced something horrible and traumatising. You can’t just sweep it under the carpet and pretend it didn’t happen.”
I turned around to face her. “I don’t have a choice.
” I’d spent endless weeks mourning and grieving.
But if I didn’t refocus all my efforts now, I was going to lose my kingdom.
“Kings at war do not have the luxury of falling apart.” Something had happened to me in that throne room.
It felt as though I’d been woken up from a long and hazy dream.
I knew as I sat in Elara’s room that it would be the last time I cried for my mother for a while.
“I have a responsibility towards Norrandale now.”
“And I’m not asking you to shy away from any of your responsibilities,” she said.
“I’m asking you to look after yourself. To not shut me out again.
I want you to confide in me, Cai.” I didn’t want to shut her out at all.
But I had a tunnel vision of my goal, and my personal well-being was not a priority anymore. “Please don’t do anything unnecessary.”
“Unnecessary?” I asked. “You think me fearing for our lives is unnecessary? You do know you could have died today?”
Even saying the words out loud created an ache in my chest. I could not describe the fear I’d felt when I saw the Argonian guard attack her.
Didn’t want to consider what might have happened if I’d shown up only a few moments later.
Losing her would be a fate worse than death. Did she not understand that?
“Don’t you think I know that? And I’m not the only one, Cai. I almost watched you lose your life more than once today.”
“Is that why you used the Myrgonite dagger?” The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“So that’s what this is actually about,” she said, placing her hands on her hips. “You’re upset about that damned stone.”
I only noticed then how loud our conversation had grown and that anyone passing at the end of the hallway would be able to hear every word.
There was a parlour a little further down the hall and so I pulled Elara inside.
“Of course I’m upset,” I said, closing the door behind me. “You know how dangerous it is.”
“He was going to kill you, Cai. Don’t pretend you wouldn’t have done the same for me.”
I thought back to the moment I heard Elara scream. Of course I would have done the same. I would have burned down my kingdom and the rest of the world along with it if it meant saving her life.
I should have told her as much. I wanted to. But then I thought back to all the things we’d read about Queen Riona and what the magic had done to her. We were messing with something we didn’t understand and I feared the consequences. “We shouldn’t be carrying that thing around in the first place.”
“Where else did you want me to put it? It wasn’t safe to leave at the camp. Or would you rather I’d have left it back in Everness for Lance to find and use as he pleases?”
It was a valid question. We’d been so focused on finding all of the objects, but we hadn’t decided where to hide the two we’d already found as we looked for the third. Not to mention we still needed to find a way to destroy them without killing anyone.
“Where’s the necklace?”
“I left it with Anesta. She doesn’t know what it is, but I know she will keep it safe along with my other things, and I didn’t want to keep the two objects together in case someone should find them.” It was probably the smarter thing to do but that didn’t put me at ease in any way.
“Maybe we shouldn’t have Rhen working on the diary anymore. He already knows too much.”
“You don’t trust him?”
“It’s not that. The more people know about this, the more dangerous it becomes. And even if we find the third object, we don’t know how to destroy them yet.”
“Rhen has a much better knowledge and understanding of Evernean history. He’s the right person to do this and I asked him to help for a reason. You and I are too busy gathering armies against Aries. Our first objective is preparing for the battle we know is to come,” she argued.
“Rhen already knows what two of the objects are. That’s dangerous information, the kind that some people would kill for. If Aries should find out in any way, who’s to say he won’t take Rhen hostage and torture him until he tells Aries everything he wants to know?”
“Rhen would rather die than betray us.”
“And is that the kind of sacrifice you’re willing to make?” The words sank in and momentarily silenced her.
“Maybe I should take the dagger.” I held out my hand and Elara looked up at me as if I’d just lost my mind.
“What?”
“The Myrgonite dagger. I need you to give it to me so I can put it somewhere safe.”
She looked taken aback. “You don’t trust me with it?”
“No, I think it’s dangerous and it needs to be hidden. We’ll have to find somewhere for the necklace as well. At least until we figure out what the third object is.”
Elara pressed her lips into a line, clearly reluctant.
I could not forget her facial expression as she drove the dagger into the Argonian. I imagined it was quite similar to mine when I’d killed Thatcher. Whatever kind of magic that stone held, it was a dangerous weapon. It was already starting to have some kind of effect on us.
“We’re going up against one of the greatest armies on the continent, Cai. We are at every disadvantage, and we have very little time.”
“I know that,” I said, clenching my teeth. “But there were other weapons in that hallway. You should not have used the dagger.” You don’t know what the cost might be.
“I killed someone for you!” she cried out. “And you’re angry about what weapon I used to save your life?”
“Did you not see what happened in the throne room? Did you not see what I did? Something, some force that is bigger than us, has more power than we realise, and if we’re not careful, it could be the end of everything you and I hold dear. It’s not worth it!”
She continued to stare up at me, contemplating my words. “Please just give me the dagger,” I asked again, hoping that she could understand. I was just trying to protect everyone.
“After everything we’ve been through, I’d think you’d trust me better.”
It was intended to be hurtful, and she’d managed to hit her mark.
“You and I have been carrying the Myrgonite objects around with us for a very long time. I have no doubt that the stones protected us at times and we did not even realise. But magic requires balance, and we don’t know the price.”
She didn’t answer me, simply shook her head in dismay and walked out of the room.
We had been in so many life-threatening situations since we’d met, and yet, in many ways, it appeared as if luck was on our side. At the very least, we always walked out alive. But for everything the stones gave, they were going to take, too.
And I had a sickening feeling that it was time to pay up.