Chapter 49 #2
My heart cracks in two. If that’s true… Jesus, no wonder he’s so broken up.
And so protective of his girls. I get it.
I fucking get it. Guilt gnaws at me for my knee-jerk reaction, the way my mind automatically assumes the worst, that he’s being dishonest. No wonder he hasn’t told me everything.
I wouldn’t want to rehash that shitstorm, either.
“I’m going to wreck you in court, Zach,” she snarls up at him. “I’ll make sure you lose every last second of custody.”
“Good luck with that.” He points to the minivan still running. “Fucking leave. Now.”
She finally does as he says, climbing into the driver’s side and slamming the door shut.
Zach remains where he is, his back to the truck, watching until the minivan disappears from sight down the narrow two-track.
Only then does he return, and I hit the button to disengage the locks. My trembling intensifies.
He opens the passenger door and reaches for me, hauling me into his arms. Mine go around his neck, holding tight.
“Are you okay?” he asks quietly, gathering me tighter against his chest as I nod into his neck. “Fucking hell. I am so sorry, Louise.”
He pulls away just far enough to frame my face in his hands, searching my face. “She put that on my car?”
Zach nods sagely, smoothing his palms over my hair before coming back to cup my face again.
“I promise you, she will not bother you again. Okay? I promise, Louise. She’s impulsive and doesn’t think shit through in her haste to try and malign me in any way she can.
It has nothing to do with you. She’s not going to get away with this. ”
“How? She took the video proof with her,” I whisper, turning my face into his palm. “It’s just your word against hers.”
Zach notches his chin toward the dash, and a small black box that’s mounted there.
“Couple years ago Chief insisted we all get dash cams for our personal vehicles since most of us have the lightbars for emergencies. There was an accident in another county that a volunteer firefighter was off duty and got into an accident on his way to a fire. Chief wanted to make sure we have video footage of any of our travels.”
“So, that whole thing was recorded?” I ask in surprise. He nods. “Is it recording right now?” He nods again. “Oh.”
“It won’t show anything except out the front window, but the audio will suffice,” he assures me.
“I’m sorry you were put in the middle of this, Louise.
I never meant for you to get involved in her bullshit.
” He rubs at the back of his neck. “Or for you to find out some of that information like that.”
I nod, dropping my eyes to the center of his chest. “Can I ask questions?”
He tilts my face up with a finger beneath my chin. “You can ask anything. I have no secrets. I just… It’s a hard situation. One I’m still trying to figure out.”
“Do the girls know?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
Zach’s eyes search mine, and then he shakes his head.
“No. I know they need to find out, sooner rather than later… but how do I explain to my daughters that their mother walked away from them and started another family somewhere else? That the only reason she’s fighting me in court is so she doesn’t have to pay child support?
Chloe and Bailey are too young to understand any of it…
but Abigail…” he exhales, shaking his head, then swallows hard.
“I don’t know how to protect her from that hurt and it fucking kills me. ”
My heart aches for him, for the girls. I understand so much more now. Why he’s so damn guarded. I don’t blame him. Not one bit.
“The baby?” I ask hesitantly. He nods.
“She tried to pass him off as mine,” Zach admits, dipping his chin.
“She came back, said she was pregnant and that she wanted to try and make it work one more time. But… the timing didn’t add up.
It had been too long… there was no way that baby was mine, and I refused to let her back into our lives again.
She got pissed and admitted that it wasn’t mine after all.
I made sure to have paternity run when he was born, and I was right; he wasn’t.
” Tears sting my nose at the grief I can sense in him.
“I struggled with that. Part of me wanted it to be, so that I could have some kind of claim, to make sure he had a good home, too… but part of me was relieved, too, you know? To know that I wasn’t crazy, that my gut had been right and I wasn’t losing my damn mind. ”
Those tears leak out of my eyes, slipping down my cheeks. I want to hold him, gather him close. But I think he needs to get everything out, like some kind of catharsis.
“I heard that baby is bouncing around between her and some of her friends, that the dad dipped before he was born—probably why she tried coming back when she realized she would be alone to take care of it. She just doesn’t have it in her to be a full-time mom,” his voice cracks, and my bravado does, too.
I reach for him, pulling him into me. He wraps his arms around me.
“I’ve thought about petitioning the courts to get custody, he is their brother after all, but fuck—” he shakes his head, burying his nose in my neck.
“Do I even have the resources to raise another kid that’s not even mine?
I feel like I’m drowning already. I hate what she’s done to my family, Louise. I hate what she’s done to my girls.”
My heart. God, my heart is breaking for this man. Leaning away, I cup his jaw in my hands, smoothing my thumbs over his cheeks.
“You are an amazing man, Zach. To even consider doing that, taking on that responsibility when it’s not yours to carry…
” More tears slip down my cheeks. “If that’s what you want to do, you’ll find a way to make it happen, and you’ll give that baby the same life you give to these girls.
And if not, then it’s not a guilt you need to bear. ”
He swallows hard, his throat bobbing with the motion. He nods in my hands. “I’m sorry I kept this from you. It’s heavy, Louise. So fucking heavy, and I didn’t—”
I smile through my tears, leaning forward to press a gentle, chaste kiss to his lips, halting his flow of words. “I told you I will walk with you through the heavy stuff, if you’ll let me. Locked in, remember?”
He nods. “Locked in.”