Chapter 50
Fifty
Zach
“Iuhh, I told Louise about Britt. About all of it.”
My brother pauses in his workout, setting the dumbbell down on his knee. “All of it? Even…?”
I nod, bracing myself for another squat.
I dip low, then come back up, exhaling as I do.
We’re in the gym at the station, both of us on our turn to rotate on a forty-eight-hour shift.
We also have ropes training tonight, something Chief and I have been working on for weeks.
We’ll practice repelling and securing during evacuation rescues, make sure everyone is up to date on protocols.
It’s kept my mind busy, which I needed the last few days.
My thoughts are consumed with what’s coming later this week. How everything is going to go down. My lawyer assures me everything will be fine… but, will it?
Guilt has been eating me alive. Guilt over keeping things from Louise, from my girls, shit, even my mom. Mom doesn’t even know about the son Brittanee had. Joel and Chief were the only people I had revealed that truth to… and now Louise.
Joel’s eyebrows jump up. “Wow. What prompted that?”
Setting the bar in the cradle, I straighten, then lean with my arms folded across the metal beam level with my chest. “She hid a fucking AirTag on Lou’s car.”
Joel sets the weight down on the ground, turning toward me fully. “She what? Did you file a report?”
I nod. “Yeah. Took the dash cam video to the county—”
My brother shakes his head, like he’s trying to catch up. “I’m sorry, what dash cam video?”
“Britt tracked us. Accosted Lou. Threatened more like she always does. She keeps coming to the house even though she knows she’s not supposed to—”
“Jesus fuck man,” Joel mutters, shaking his head again. “That’s crazy.” He looks at me then. “Are you ready for Friday?”
“Not even a little bit,” I admit, hanging my head over my folded arms. “I just don’t know what to expect. She’s so goddamn unpredictable. What kind of lies and bullshit is she going to come up with in front of a judge?”
“Let her cook herself. You just sit back and let her fuck up.” Joel shrugs.
“It’s still not fair to the girls,” I sigh, shaking my head. “They deserve better.”
“They have better,” my brother says, staring up at me from where he’s still seated on the bench, legs spread wide on either side of it. “They have you, man. And trust me, they know how much you love them.” I nod, swallowing hard. “Lou is good for you. She’s good for them.”
I inhale deeply, holding it for five seconds before exhaling slowly. “That’s what scares the shit out of me,” I admit shakily. “What happens if she walks away? It’s going to break my kids’ hearts, Joel.”
Joel shakes his head, leaning his elbows on his spread knees. “Nah, you can’t let yourself think that. She’s not like that. She’s crazy about you, and about the girls.”
“But what if she doesn’t stay?” I ask, barely daring to breathe the question out loud. It’s the one that scares me the most.
“It’s a chance only you can decide if it’s worth taking, man,” my brother says quietly. “Not everyone is a flight risk.”
Guilt swamps me again. “It’s not fair to put all that on her, though. She’s so fucking young, she has her entire life ahead of her.”
“Seems to me like she wants whatever life she can have with you.” He kicks his foot out and hits me in the shin, making me wince and hop backward. Fucker. “Why are you trying to find reasons to jump ship? Don’t go looking for ways to sabotage this, you dumb fuck.”
I chuff out a laugh. “You’re right, you’re right.”
Joel tosses a sweat-damp gym towel at me and I knock it aside. “Damn straight, I know I’m right. You’d best remember that, too.”