Chapter Fifteen
It had taken Tony longer than expected to reach Lord Shorten’s estate just outside Richmond. The roads were bumpy, and he regretted not taking his horse. He had told no one about his trip, so he needed to be back no longer than tomorrow night.
The estate was quite small compared to the ducal Ashtonvale, but it was a neatly kept two story building with ivy growing up one side that softened the otherwise sharp edges of the house.
As he had sent a message the day before, there were servants waiting when he arrived.
Lord Shorten’s butler greeted him and ushered him inside, took his hat and coat, which he passed on to a footman, and ushered him down the hall and up a set of stairs.
As he followed the butler, Tony took note of the family portraits and asked, “Are any of these of Edwina Shorten?”
The butler stopped short and turned to face him, his expression somber. “Lord Shorten had them all removed when she married. He wanted them destroyed but we had them stored in the attic. We hoped he would one day want them back.”
“I see. Hopefully, my trip may cheer him.”
“I certainly hope so, my lord. These last years have been hard on him, now his wife has passed.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“This is his favorite room; it has a lovely view of the lake. He spends most of his days here now.” The butler then opened the door and announced Tony.
He followed the butler in to see a stooped old man sitting in a chair near the window with a blanket on his lap.
This was not what Tony had imagined, but of course he must be in his seventies by now, perhaps older.
“My lord.” Tony bowed. “Thank you for seeing me at such short notice.”
“Your note was intriguing. There is not much that intrigues me these days.”
The butler brought over a chair for Tony and a maid appeared with tea and some little cakes. Tony sat and accepted a cup of tea before he spoke again. He wanted the servants to be gone before he told the old man his news.
When the butler backed out and closed the door, Tony put down his cup. “Lord Shorten, are you aware that you have a granddaughter?”
“A granddaughter? I heard they had a child but not that it was a girl. I assumed she died with that villain Foxton.”
“She is very much alive. Her name is Lucinda. I am her guardian.”
He narrowed his eyes on Tony. “If you’ve come here for a dowry for her I’ll not give her a penny.” He tucked the blanket around his hips and looked out the window.
“She doesn’t know I am here. In fact, she has no idea you are alive either. Lucinda does not need your coin, my lord; she is wealthy in her own right. She has lived most of her life thinking she had no family… but she has you.”
“What would she want with an old man? I am no good to anyone. My bones creak more than a frigate in a storm.”
“I think she would just want to know her grandfather. To hear more about you and her mother.”
“She will want nothing to do with me when she finds out it was me who ran them out of the country,” he said, still looking out the window.
Tony sat back. How would she react to that news? “If you had the time over would you have made the same decision?”
He took his time before answering. “Hell no. I regretted that decision for over a decade. I didn’t think they would leave the country and never come home. I was mad as hell that they had gone against my wishes. Damn Tory bastard.”
“I am sure they regretted their decision to leave the country too. Perhaps they thought they had no other choice.”
Tony saw tears in the man’s eyes as he turned, and this shocked him.
“He took my girl, Ashton. He took my beautiful girl to some godforsaken place, and she died. I never got to bury her, to tell her how sorry I was for all that happened. All I had was my anger. At the time I would have shot the blaggard between the eyes had he returned. Later, I wished he had at least sent her back to me to bury properly. Who knows where she was laid to rest.”
“I am sorry, my lord. Lucinda was sent back to England before her father died and was placed in a school for young ladies where she has stayed until she came under my protection.”
“He should have sent her to me, damn his eyes. I could have raised her better than some merchant’s girl’s school.”
“Maybe he was unsure you would accept her.”
“No. He wanted to keep her from me. He took my girl and denied me my granddaughter. He hated me as much as I hated him.”
“Lucinda knows nothing of your hatred. She does not know of your feelings on the subject, but you said you regretted your decision. This is your opportunity to have a relationship with her. You are her only family, my lord. I am sure she would love to hear stories of her mother as a child.”
“She will learn the truth soon enough and then she will hate me too.”
“What if she doesn’t? What if she sees how remorseful you are and forgives you?
Surely, she will see you did it because you loved her mother.
That you still love her. Isn’t it worth seeing Lucinda for?
I am giving you the opportunity to have a relationship with your granddaughter.
Is that not worth swallowing your pride, for her sake and yours? ”
“What exactly are you asking me to do?”
“Come to London. Meet her. She is beautiful. She has her mother’s features and her father’s glorious hair and she is…” Infuriating, smart, and desirable. “Worth the effort.”
“What happens if she doesn’t forgive me?”
“It is up to you if you even want to confess what you did.”
“What are you getting out of this?”
“Nothing but the pleasure of seeing Lucinda meeting family.”
Lord Shorten narrowed his eyes. “You love her, don’t you?”
“I am her guardian. Her happiness is my only concern.” Part of his brain knew this was not totally correct.
Denying his true feelings was hard work, made harder every time he saw her, but for his sanity and his position, he had to keep up the fight.
“Well, are you willing to leave the past behind and hopefully have Lucinda in your life?”
The old man looked out the window again, no doubt weighing the reasons to take up his offer or not.
Lucinda breathed in the smell of old books as she entered the Temple of the Muses bookshop in Finsbury Square.
She had exhausted all of Marianne’s books and so off they went to see what prose would enchant them next.
The building itself was huge, multiple stories high.
The dowager perused the section for fashion magazines while the girls headed straight for the gothic romances.
“Surely, you young ladies are not into such blasphemous works?”
Lucinda spun around to find Lord Dunstan smiling down at them. Lucinda curtseyed. “Oh, my lord, this is the last place I would expect to see you.”
“For shame, young lady, for I love a good atlas as much as the next man.”
Marianne asked, “Are you planning a trip, my lord?”
“I have not decided yet, but as I missed my grand tour, I have an inclination to paint the acropolis or the pyramids.”
“How exciting,” Lucinda said. “I have not traveled anywhere.”
“Really? I thought you grew up overseas? Prussia, wasn’t it?”
“Oh, that. I was a child, so I don’t remember much. We moved a lot.”
“I would love to hear what you do remember. Did you meet any of your father’s friends?”
“No. I was always in bed when father met with his friends. Mother had a beautiful singing voice, and I often heard her sing as I drifted off to sleep.”
“What a wonderful memory that is, Miss Sterling. After you have made your purchases would you all like to join me for a stroll in the square?”
“That does sound lovely, but we will need to ask the dowager first.”
“Of course. I will leave you to your shopping, but I will be downstairs near the counter when you are done.”
“Thank you. I am sure Mother will have no objections,” Marianne said.
Lord Dunstan bowed and left them. Marianne giggled. “I think Lord Dunstan is following us. He may even be smitten by you. I see an engagement in your future, Lucinda.”
“I hope so.” Did she? Did she really?
“Are you still holding out for the mysterious Mr. A?”
Lucinda shook her head. “No. That was nothing but a fanciful thought. Dunstan is a much more sensible choice.” And he was, but would that be enough?
Marianne took her hand, so she had to turn towards her. “Lord, Lucinda, tell me that is not the only reason.”
“Of course not, silly. He is handsome, rich, and he is… interesting. He will make a good husband and father. I am sure of it.”
“Do you have feelings for him? Do you love him?”
“I do have feelings for him.” Well, she did. She liked him as a friend and that was better than nothing.
“And?”
“And I am hoping those feelings will grow into love, on both sides. He himself said he wants someone he can talk to, and I concur.”
Marianne looked unconvinced if the frown between her brows was anything to go by. “Why are you looking at me like that? Not everyone has love at first sight, you know.”
“I know, but I don’t want you to be disappointed if he does not love you the way you wish to be loved.”
“How do you know how I wish to be loved? I do not have the time to wait for true love, Marianne. I need… I want.” What did she need?
What did she want? She knew the answer, but it was one she could not afford to pursue.
Tony had spelled out his thoughts quite clearly on the matter and her pushing him to change his mind would be fruitless.
He did not need her and although he may want her, he certainly was not about to lose his precious position for her.
Really, that should give her all the evidence she needed to stop dreaming of the impossible.
It was clear what he valued more, and it wasn’t her.
He was doing his duty and nothing more. The kisses they had shared had been mistakes in judgment.
She had to accept that, but it was so hard when her heart wanted what it could not have.