Chapter Sixteen
Lucinda saw him coming. That confident stride of his was recognizable a mile away.
She put down her paintbrush. Marianne had been helping her with how to make her sketch into a watercolor and she was pleased how it was coming along, not that she wanted anyone else to see it yet.
She placed a rag over it before Tony arrived.
“Warrington said you were out here. How is your picture going? May I see it?”
“No!” That came out harsher than she had intended. “It is not ready yet.”
He took a seat next to her, which required that she turn to face him. What did he want?
“Are you feeling all right? You seem flustered.”
“I am fine. Can I help you with something?”
“Lucinda, if this is about me being away these last few days…”
“Why would that matter?”
“I thought my absence would be welcomed and you had Marianne and my mother with you for the luncheon yesterday and…”
“Lord Ashton, I was not even aware that you had gone anywhere.” Liar, liar, pants on fire.
“Oh, please. I assure you my absence was to your benefit. I have something I must discuss with you but as we are about to get callers Mother suggested we take a short carriage ride.”
“For my benefit? That is amusing. I think I would rather entertain a room full of fools than take a carriage ride with you at the moment, my lord.” She had not intended to be so snappy, but she couldn’t help it.
Part of her wanted to punish him, wanted to shout, Why are you always leaving me?
Why do you never tell me? It was silly, and she knew it.
He did not need to inform her of his every move.
Her irrational fear of him leaving and not coming back was making her act like a bedlamite.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
Now she felt awful.
“I should have told you, but I am so used to doing my own thing, I did not think.” He stood up and put out his hand to her. “Please. I promise it will be worthwhile.”
Lucinda stood, but she did not take his hand.
She gathered up her bonnet and put it on, tying the ribbons with exaggerated movements.
Then she turned and strode towards the mews.
She refused to give him the satisfaction of thinking she was going willingly, even though she was intrigued by his need to tell her something.
She stopped mid-stride. The carriage was a one-horse phaeton.
A flashy vehicle with the duke’s insignia on the door.
They had raised the hood, and a groom waited with a footstool to help her into the carriage.
She had never been in such a contraption.
They really were going to be alone. She looked again at how high they were off the ground.
“Do not worry; I am quite competent at driving.” This he followed by demonstrating how he could effortlessly leap into it.
Gathering her skirt with one hand, the groom’s hand with another, she stood on the stool and then she had to take Tony’s hand to be hauled up onto the seat.
It was frighteningly high. The small door was closed and with a jerk and a tug, the phaeton leaped into action.
Lucinda took hold of her bonnet in one hand while the other held on to the door for grim death.
Once out of the mews, he joined the other traffic, and they thankfully slowed down.
Tony was laughing, looking her way, and then laughing more.
“I promise not to go too fast for you.”
“You had better keep your promise, Tony.” He did not look happy about being reminded about his sometimes-haphazard promises, but she did not care because she was frightened and did not wish to be just for his entertainment.
“I will.” They followed the traffic and turned into St. James’s Park, where he slowed to a walk. “Is this better?”
She let out a breath. “Yes. Thank you. I do not have an objection to going fast but that we are so awfully high off the ground.”
“You will get used to it and will not even notice by the time we arrive home.”
She doubted that but kept that to herself. Now that she could look around her and her nerves had settled, she remembered why they were out here at all. “What is it that you need to tell me?”
“A few days ago, I got a reply from a friend. I had asked him to look into the whereabouts of someone.”
This was all very clandestine.
“I then went and met this person.”
“Who was it? Did it have to do with Captain Markham?”
“No. It had something to do with you. Or rather it is someone who is connected to you.”
Now she was confused. “Who is it?”
“Your grandfather, on your mother’s side. Lord Shorten.”
She blinked several times, trying to comprehend what he was saying. “My grandfather?”
“Yes. Your grandfather.”
“The one who disliked my father so much that they had to leave the country. That grandfather?”
His face was crestfallen. “I did not know you knew that.”
“Your mother told me when she mentioned that she had met my mother. It was common knowledge, apparently. Something about opposing sides of politics. A rather stupid reason to lose your daughter, if you ask me.”
“He would say the same. Lord Shorten has had many years to regret his decision.”
“Good. Do you realize my life may have been very different if they had not left the country? I could have grown up with both my parents and my grandparents. I could have had the education I deserved… I could have had… everything.” She refused to cry over this. It was senseless.
“He wants to apologize to you, Lucinda. He has missed out too, you know. Your grandfather loved your mother and thought he was doing the right thing. He now knows he was misguided and because of his actions he has missed out on having a relationship with you.”
“He can apologize all he wants; it will not bring back my parents or undo what has been done to me.”
He had pulled the phaeton over to the side of the path and stopped. Studying her, he said in a careful tone, “I know that, but don’t you think you have both suffered enough? Would it not be a good idea to put the past behind you and forgive the one relative you have left?”
So, was her grandmother gone too? Leaving only the old man who had destroyed his family?
Fine, he did not kill her mother or father, but he sent them to their deaths by forcing them from the safety of England.
Could she forgive him for that? Tony had said he had regretted his decision.
“I will have to think on it. I can make no promises.”
“I appreciate you hearing me out. I hope you are not angry with me for seeking him out.”
“Thank you for telling me first. I need time. When do you need a decision? Are you to write to him?”
Tony looked down at his boots before searching her face again. “He is here.”
“Here? In London? Oh, Tony.” She hit his arm with her hand. “Why did you do that?”
“Ouch.” He rubbed his arm. “He wants to see you. I guess when you get to his age every day counts.”
The anger in her face disappeared. “Is he ill?”
“He is old, and guilt can rot the body and mind, or so I have been told.”
“I suppose it would not hurt to meet him, but that is all I am agreeing to.”
“That is all he is asking.”
She let out a big sigh, and he put his arm around her and gave her a hug. She rested her head on his shoulder. “You always seem to vex me. Why is that?”
“I do not do it on purpose. I suppose my way of showing I care is not the best way, but I am trying.”
“I see it, even if I do not agree with your methods.” He cares for me. Do not get ahead of yourself, Lucinda. There are many levels of care. Do not blow this up into something it is not.
They returned after a trip around the park to the house to see off the few remaining callers. Dunstan was still among them, talking to Marianne, who was showing him some of the art in the parlor.
“Lord Dunstan, how happy I am to see you still here.” Lucinda greeted him, and he took her hand and kissed it.
“So glad I did not miss you completely, Miss Sterling. I did wonder if you were going to the opera house this week.”
Lucinda turned toward Tony and his mother. The dowager smiled brightly. “I was going to discuss the very thing tonight. What night are you going, Lord Dunstan?”
“On Friday night. I have hired a box, but I suppose the duke has one of his own?”
“He does indeed. He loves opera and art as you know. We would be happy to have you join us.”
“That, my dear duchess, would be more than I could have hoped for. I have yet to meet the duke properly.”
“He is a busy man, but I am sure he would make an exception.”
Dunstan inclined his head and then made a bow. “I must leave you now, but I look forward to our time at the opera, dear ladies. I shall meet you at the theater at say six-thirty?”
Marianne and Lucinda clapped their hands in delight. Once Dunstan was gone, Lucinda turned to Tony. “When is the best time and day to meet with Lord Shorten?”
“That depends on your schedule. If you could let me know, I will contact your grandfather.”
“Oh.” His mother looked at Lucinda as if her face could show her thoughts on the subject. “And are we happy about this?”
She could not say for sure. Part of her wanted this, but the other part did not want to be disappointed.
And yet another part wanted nothing to do with the man who had disowned his own daughter because she fell in love with a man he did not approve of.
“I have not made up my mind on the subject, but I am willing to meet him in order to see if he is truly remorseful.”
“I assure you he is,” Tony said, his gaze never leaving hers.
“I am sure Lucinda can make up her own mind on the matter.” Marianne’s voice was soft but reassuring.
Lucinda smiled. “Thank you, Marianne. I confess I am nervous to meet him.”
“I have no doubt he will fall in love with you as we have,” Marianne said.
Her statement warmed her heart. She wished Tony had fallen in love with her. It would have made things so much easier on her heart and mind.