Chapter Twenty-Five
Tony was used to creeping around in the dark.
He made it up the stairs and down the hall without making a sound.
He heard the soft snoring of his mother as he passed her room.
A few more steps and he would be in Lucinda’s room.
He turned the knob. Turned it and pushed the door open.
He expected to see the shape of someone sleeping in the bed, but the covers were flat.
Strange. He peeked into the small dressing room.
Empty. His heartbeat accelerated. Where was she?
He stopped being quiet as he ran back downstairs.
He had only wanted to talk to her without the ears and eyes of his sister and mother on them.
To explain himself. He had to tell her how much he loved her and work out a plan with her.
He checked the kitchen, the front parlor, and when he checked the library, he saw her sitting there, in front of the fire, wrapped in a blanket.
Her hair was not braided, and it cascaded over her shoulders in waves of red-hot lava.
So beautiful. He closed the door with a click.
“Could you not sleep?” he asked softly.
“No.”
“Am I the reason?”
She looked up at him. Her face was pale. “Partly. I seem to make the same mistakes all the time.”
“What mistakes are you talking of?”
“I keep thinking that I deserve things, but I realize that I have done nothing to earn them. I thought it was owed to me, that the things I yearned for would land in my lap and it is not so.”
“It is a waste of time to think like this, Lucinda. You deserve the world. You are a good person who has had a tough life, but you are in charge of your destiny now.”
“Am I? Am I really? I can do nothing for myself. I must marry to have what I want but what I want…” She shook her head. “It does not matter. As soon as this is over I will go and live with my grandfather. You will be free to be who you are without the weight of me on your mind and heart.”
“Lucinda. I do not want to be free of you. I went to your room so I could talk to you. To explain that I do want to marry you. I just need time. Time to find out how I will be able to look after you when we do marry. You do deserve the world, and I want to give it to you.”
“You will have my dowry and my inheritance. Is that not enough?”
“It is not about money. I must have something to do. I do not have a title, or land to go with it. I have my name and that is all.”
“I do not need a title. I only have my name. I bring no title or property either.”
“I wish it were as simple as you are putting it,” he said.
“But I have lived in this world, and I have seen the dark and dirty side as well as the bright and shiny side. A man needs something to do. Purpose. Make some sort of difference to the world around him.” Did she understand what he was trying to tell her?
“There is much to consider but if you will just allow us to have a longer than normal engagement, I promise you I will marry you in time.” He tried to take her hand, but she evaded him.
She was not going to make this easy for him.
“How much time?” she asked.
“I do not know. A year perhaps.”
Lucinda looked down at her lap and played with her ring on her finger. He noticed she had been doing it more and more lately. Or maybe he was more observant now. “And since when are we engaged?”
Good question. He had never actually proposed. He had just assumed that they would become engaged after they had confessed their love to each other.
He felt his face heat. “I am a fool.”
“Yes, but you are my fool.” Taking his hand, she kissed it.
Did this mean she was agreeing to the longer engagement? “Shall I ask you now?”
“No. Your mother will never forgive you if you do not do it properly.”
“And with witnesses?”
“Exactly so.”
“Fine. It will be sometime this week, but I will not tell you when. It will be a surprise, of a kind.”
“I will look forward to your proposal, Lord Ashton.”
“I want no more crying alone in your room. Come to me if there is something that upsets you. Let me be your comfort. Agreed?”
“Agreed,” she replied, a smile widening on her face.
“Now, come here. I need to kiss you right now.”
She obeyed and climbed onto his lap, winding her arms around his neck.
He kissed her nose, which made her giggle.
Then her neck and behind her ear. He whispered, “I adore you.” He placed a kiss on her cheek.
“I am yours.” His lips inched towards the side of her lips.
“I love you, Lucinda Sterling.” And finally, he kissed her lips, softly, gently savoring her mouth as she opened for him.
She explored his mouth as he did hers, their tongues and mouths melting against each other as their desires heightened.
He reached up and cupped her face reverently and kissed her. He tangled his fingers in her hair, the soft silky locks sliding through them. When she moaned in his ear, his control snapped.
It was a frantic kiss, full of lips and tongue and arms grasping for each other.
They rolled off the sofa and onto the soft Persian rug and still he kissed her.
They rolled again and now he was on top of her, and he kissed her.
Her fingers tore at his cravat, scrambled over the buttons at his throat, dragged at his shirt, trying to free it from his pants.
He fumbled at the fall of his breeches and pushed up her nightgown, and then his hands were on her bare skin, leaving her skin trembling and tingling and hot.
Oh yes! This, this is what she wanted. His fingers caressed the soft skin of her inner thigh. Her hands were in his hair, pulling him back for kiss after kiss like the world might end. There was only here, now.
Her back arched as his fingers explored her uncharted areas. A hot ache grew between her legs, and she wanted to clutch him close. For him to ease this ache as he had done once before. She wanted him. She needed him.
Trailing kisses down her body was the most exquisite torture.
The urge to cover herself was strong as he made his way down her body.
He dipped his tongue in her navel, which made her giggle.
Where would he stop? Surely he would go no further.
Oh, but he did and when his hot mouth kissed the inside of her hipbone, she felt like she was melting and tense at the same time. As he moved still lower, she froze.
“Tony?”
He looked up, a cheeky grin on his face.
“Trust me,” was all he said, and then he put his mouth on her most intimate area.
He laved that sensitive area with his tongue, the sensation causing her hips to rise from the mattress.
As he continued his attentions, all sense of reality left her, and the deep ache returned.
How did he know to do such things? Better off not knowing, she thought, but only for a moment until he sucked on her and she nearly screamed with the pleasure of it.
Thankfully, she had the sense to put her hands over her mouth as stars exploded behind her eyelids in a climax that was thrilling and unexpected. Then he was gone. Pulling himself up her body to lay between her legs again, her knees spreading automatically to accommodate him.
“Are you all right? If not, say so now.” She lifted her hips in answer. “If we do this, it cannot be undone.”
“Tony?”
“Yes?”
“I love you. I want this. I want to be yours and yours alone.”
That was all the encouragement he needed as he pushed his way into her willing body slowly. It went against every primal instinct, but he wanted to cause her as little pain as possible.
A sharp pain brought her back to Earth, and he smothered her cry in a kiss but moved no further.
He waited for her body to adjust to this new sensation.
It was not the pleasant rapture that it had been before, but he had not been inside her then.
He kissed her again, using his mouth to blur her reality.
She now felt like she was floating, hardly registering the hard floor beneath her.
He pushed deeper within her, the friction strange and uncomfortable at first, but before she could truly define the sensation, that delicious heat began again.
She and the man she loved were joined, as one.
She thought no further than that. She moved with him at his urging.
Their pace was still desperate, their bodies sliding over each other, slick with sweat.
He urged her on with soft words of encouragement.
Her body wrapped around his, clutching him to her, clutching him to her heart.
All the while, the friction of their lovemaking was building like a crescendo, not unlike Madam Catalani singing an aria.
Higher. Higher. Higher. Then, oh, then she was on high C.
She shattered like glass. A wave of pleasure sizzled through her whole body.
The intensity was so strong, tears rolled down her cheeks.
His mouth muffled her cry, and he groaned into hers.
A few more hip thrusts and he fell upon her.
All time stopped. Only the rush of her blood in her ears and the rapid rise and fall of their chests existed.
Moments later, the ceiling above her came into focus, the shadows of the flames in the grate dancing across it.
The weight of him on top of her, his hair tickling her nose, and the hard floor beneath her brought her back to reality.
Tony pushed himself up on his elbows, looking down at her, a smile on his lips. “My God but you are beautiful. Flushed and lovely and your glorious hair fanned out beneath us. Have I told you how much I love your hair?”
Had he? Her mind was whirling, but no coherent thoughts connected.
She reached up and removed a lock of hair from his forehead. “Now you really have to marry me.”
“I do indeed,” he said with a chuckle. “And it will be a glorious and happy day.” He rolled over, taking her into his embrace.