Chapter Twelve
To: Headphone Guy
Hey! Can I come over and have you help me figure out wtf I’m gonna wear to the lake?
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The second she hit send, Myah dropped her phone onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. It landed beside her with a soft bounce, but her gaze remained fixed on the faint water stain above her fan. She counted the blades as they spun. Once. Twice. Three times.
It didn't help. Nothing seemed capable of slowing the frantic energy racing through her body. Because ten minutes ago, Jace had asked her to go to the lake.
Not with a group or as part of some larger plan. Not as an afterthought. Just the two of them.
The memory of the text message made her stomach flip all over again.
She rolled onto her side and grabbed her phone before she could stop herself. His message was still there.
From: J <3
Weather's supposed to be perfect Saturday. Wanna go to the lake with me?
It was simple. Casual, painfully normal. Yet she'd spent nearly five minutes staring at it before responding because she had been terrified of reading too much into it.
The problem was that she wasn't reading too much into it. At least, she didn't think she was.
Over the last several weeks, things between her and Jace had shifted into something neither of them seemed willing to define.
They spent more time together than apart.
Their conversations had become effortless and comfortable.
There was a familiarity growing between them that made her chest feel warm whenever she thought about it.
And Jace looked at her differently now. Not all the time or dramatically, but there were moments.
Moments when she caught him smiling at her from across a room.
Moments when his attention lingered just a second longer than necessary.
Moments when his eyes softened in a way that made her wonder if he felt this too.
Those moments had become dangerous. Because every time she started allowing herself to hope, the guilt came rushing back.
The bet. God, the stupid, awful bet.
The excitement she'd felt when she first read Jace's invitation dimmed slightly as the familiar shame settled over her shoulders.
What had started as a joke should have ended as a joke.
Instead, it had become this ugly secret she carried around everywhere.
Every laugh they shared, every conversation, every flirtatious glance, every new memory.
The secret followed her through all of it.
Her phone buzzed.
From: Headphone Guy
You need help with clothes?
Another message followed immediately.
From Headphone Guy:
This feels serious.
Despite everything, a smile tugged at her lips.
Myah:
I'm having a crisis, Ellis.
From Headphone Guy:
You can come over whenever. Issaky is out of town on a work trip :)
Honestly, she probably needed to sooner rather than later. Because if she stayed alone with her thoughts any longer, she was going to drive herself insane.
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Forty minutes later, Myah found herself standing outside Ellis's apartment with an overnight bag filled with different swimsuits slung over one shoulder and enough nervous energy to power an entire city.
It was very important to her that she did not mess this up.
It felt necessary for Ellis to like her. For reasons she would not be examining.
She barely managed to knock before the door opened. Ellis stood in the doorway wearing an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of plaid pajama pants, his dark curls slightly flattened on one side as though he'd been lying on the couch.
He was genuinely prettier than any boy had any right to be. Like a porcelain doll. Put him up on a shelf. Maybe dust him sometimes. Look at him. I don’t know. People who own doll collections are weird.
"Oh." His eyes widened. "Myah."
"Hi?” Myah cocked a brow. Did he forget?
Forgetful doll boy, I forgive you. You’re too perfectly symmetrical to be mad at.
For a second they simply stared at each other. Then Ellis stepped aside almost immediately.
"Sorry. Come in." His voice carried the same soft shyness it always seemed to around people he didn't know very well. It wasn't unfriendly, just… cautious, maybe?
Myah offered a small smile and slipped past him into the apartment.
It was nice. Like really nice. There were vaulted ceilings and wood floors, stainless steele appliances and marble countertops.
Is this an apartment? Myah thought to herself while craning her neck to see the apartment sign out the giant living room window.
This shit is so big. What the hell. Feels bigger than it did last night. Did the house-apartment grow?
The door clicked shut behind her. "Everything okay?"
The question had barely left his mouth before she blurted out—"Jace asked me to go to the lake and I don't know what to wear."
Ellis blinked. "Yes. You texted me that."
She spun toward him dramatically. "That's all you have to say?"
"No." The corner of his mouth twitched. "I just thought there was more to the story or something."
Myah groaned. "I have absolutely nothing to wear."
"You own clothes."
"Not lake clothes."
Ellis looked unconvinced. "You own swimsuits."
"Not the right swimsuits."
His expression remained unchanged. He blinked.
He seemed to be enjoying this? Maybe. Myah wasn't sure if it was due to her going out with his best friend, or because she was having a meltdown over bikinis.
Maybe he enjoyed seeing people stressed out and in crisis.
Doll boy is a sadist. I guess no one can be perfect.
Myah pointed accusingly. "That face right there tells me that you don’t understand fashion."
"I understand fashion."
"You wear gray."
"I wear other colors."
"You wear darker gray."
Ellis laughed softly, the sound surprised her.
Something about it immediately eased the tension she'd been carrying all day.
It was like the tinkling of a bell, balm to her soul.
She was good at entertaining people, putting on a bit of a performance to make them like her. She liked when people liked her.
"How many swimsuits do you own?" he asked.
Myah crossed her arms. "Enough for it to be ridiculous that I’m struggling."
“That’s crazy. I think I own like, one pair of swim shorts.” Ellis laughed before turning and walking towards a long hallway, “Follow me.”
Myah turned to follow and a gross, misshapen thing darted past her.
“Fuck! What is that!” She shrieked, dramatically pulling her bag and right leg up at the same time as if to recoil from said creepy thing.
“What is what?” Ellis looked legitimately concerned, eyes darting around for what Myah was talking about.
“I don’t know! It looked like a rat or something!”
“A rat!”
Said freaky creature skittered back around the corner and stopped in front of Ellis. He looked down at it and then up at Myah. Ellis blinked so slowly. Twice. Then his face grew a little irritated or something.
Myah couldn’t tell.
“This is my cat!” He proclaimed.
Oh, he was offended.
Ellis scooped the “cat” up off the floor and held it out for Myah to get a closer look at. Sure enough, it was a cat. A scrungely, weird looking cat-like creature.
“That is not a cat.” She said, just to be difficult.
Maybe just to see what Ellis’s face would do next.
“This is my cat! His name is Pickles and he is adorable. I found him in the park.”
“The park! You gotta put that thing back where it came from, it looks diseased!”
Oh no, too far—Ellis looked like he was going to shed actual tears over that comment.
His cat was mangey looking, some sort of calico.
Orange, brown, white and too many other colors.
It resembled a mouse that resembled a vintage couch.
But, Myah supposed, it was his cat. Probably very dear to him or whatever.
“Wait, no!” She tried to save, “I didn’t mean it. He’s… so cute. Very charming. A face that a mother and more people could love.”
Maybe Myah hadn’t made the biggest faux pas ever because Ellis started that tinkling laugh again. He hid his smile behind his cat, looking amused instead of distressed. Good save. Good save.
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A half hour later, Ellis was sitting on his bed while Myah conducted what could only be described as a swimsuit fashion show.
She had changed three separate times. The first bikini had been bright yellow, the second was floral, and the third involved enough cutouts that Ellis nearly choked on his water he’d been drinking.
"No."
"What?"
"No." Ellis sat the glass on his side table and shook his head.
She looked down. "What do you mean no?"
"It looks uncomfortable." Ellis said.
"It's fashion." Myah argued, throwing her hands up.
"It looks like one wrong movement and you'll be arrested." Ellis said, clearly trying to hide a laugh.
Myah gasped. "I asked for advice, not judgment. Are you slut shaming me, Ellis Carter?"
Ellis rubbed his forehead. "First of all, you literally asked me to judge them. Second, I love sluts."
After another two swimsuits, Ellis finally pointed toward one she'd tossed onto the floor. "What about that one?"
Myah picked it up. The bikini was a deep maroon-pink color. Darker than rose but softer than red. It was actually one of her favorites. She hadn't even considered it because she'd automatically assumed it wasn't exciting enough.
"This one?" She asked, holding it up.
"I like that one."
"Why?"
Ellis shrugged, "It looks like you."
The answer caught her off guard. Not because it was particularly profound, but because nobody had ever really described clothing that way before. Like it matched a person instead of just looking good on them.
Slowly, a smile spread across her face. "You think?"
"Yeah." He nodded. "I think Jace will like that one."
Warmth immediately flooded her chest. A ridiculous amount of warmth, way more than the comment deserved.
She clutched the bikini against her chest. "I think this might actually be a date."
Ellis smiled. "I think it might be too."