Chapter Twelve #2
For a moment neither of them spoke. The apartment felt unusually quiet.
It wasn't quiet uncomfortable, just a calm quiet.
And suddenly Myah realized how nice it felt to talk to somebody about this.
To gush and overanalyze. To be excited. Most of her life she'd done all of that alone, or dumped it onto family members who immediately regretted asking questions.
Ellis listened. He didn't seem annoyed and he didn't tell her she was being dramatic. He just listened. And maybe that was why the question slipped out before she could stop herself.
"Can I tell you something?"
Ellis glanced up from the book he’d apparently been reading between swimsuit changes. "Sure."
She hesitated. The excitement she'd been carrying all afternoon slowly faded. Something heavier replacing it.
Ellis noticed immediately and his smile disappeared. "What is it?"
Myah twisted the bikini strap between her fingers. "I kind of need someone to tell me if I'm a terrible person."
Ellis sat up straighter. The joking mood vanished. "Myah?"
She swallowed. Her heart suddenly hammered against her ribs. Because now that she was here, she wasn't sure how to explain any of it.
But she'd come for advice. And if there was anyone she could tell, maybe it was the guy who barely knew her well enough to already know she was a disaster.
"There was a bet."
Ellis frowned. "A bet?"
Myah nodded. Suddenly, she couldn't look at him.
The maroon bikini she'd been holding moments ago felt ridiculous now.
Trivial. Everything about today felt trivial compared to the secret she'd been carrying around for weeks, so she told him—all of it.
How it had started. How stupid it had been.
How she hadn't taken it seriously at first. How she'd thought Jace was going to be some dumb gym bro and exactly the kind of guy she'd never actually fall for.
And then she told him about what happened after. About getting to know Jace. About discovering he was funny and patient and kind. About how every conversation had changed her opinion of him. About how she genuinely liked him now.
By the time she finished speaking, the apartment had gone completely silent and Ellis was staring at her. Not in an angry or shocked way. Just staring.
Myah's stomach twisted. "Say something."
Ellis dragged a hand down his face and exhaled. "That's fucked up."
The words hit her like a slap. Instantly, her defenses shot up. "Oh, wow. Thanks."
"I'm serious." Ellis scrunched his brows.
"You think I don't know that?" Myah shouted, leaned away from him.
"Myah—" Ellis’s face softened.
"No." She stood abruptly from the couch. "I already know I screwed up, okay?"
Ellis stood too. "Then why are you getting mad at me for agreeing?"
"Because you're acting like I did this maliciously." Myah threw her hands up.
"You did make a bet about him."
"It wasn't like that."
"Then what was it like?"
Frustration burned through her. Because there wasn't a good answer. There wasn't a version of this story that made her look good. And she hated it. She hated being wrong and being judged. She hated that Ellis was looking at her with disappointment instead of understanding.
"It was supposed to be stupid," she snapped. "It wasn't supposed to become anything."
Ellis's expression softened slightly, but he didn't back down. "Maybe not." The gentleness somehow made it worse. "But Jace is my best friend."
The anger immediately started leaking out of her as she watched Ellis nervously grab at his own wrist. "He is one of the nicest people I've ever met, Myah."
Her throat tightened.
"He would literally give someone the shirt off his back if they asked. He shows up for everybody."
Each word landed harder than the last and Myah felt like her throat was closing.
"He doesn't deserve to be blindsided by something like this."
The fight drained from her completely. Because Ellis wasn't wrong. That was the worst part. He wasn't wrong. Jace deserved honesty. Jace deserved better. And suddenly all she felt was tired. Tired and ashamed.
Fuck, I’m literally the worst. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Her eyes burned. "I know."
The words came out small and barely audible.
Ellis was quiet for a moment before he crossed the room. Myah expected another lecture.
Another reminder of everything she'd already spent weeks beating herself up over. Instead, Ellis stopped in front of her.
"You know what I think?"
She laughed bitterly. "That I'm awful?"
"No." The answer came immediately. "I think you're an idiot."
Despite everything, a surprised snort escaped her.
Ellis nodded. "A spectacular idiot."
"Wow."
"But not a bad person."
Something painful twisted in her chest. Because she'd been expecting condemnation. Not that.
Ellis shrugged. "You don't strike me as a bad person." His voice was quiet. "You just seem to make really bad decisions."
A laugh escaped her before she could stop it. Wet and shaky.
"My dad says that all the time."
Ellis blinked and then smiled. "Your dad sounds smart."
Myah rolled her eyes, “He’s actually a giant asshole, but yeah.” The tears finally spilled over anyway.
For a second, neither of them moved. Then Ellis opened his arms awkwardly. Myah stepped forward immediately. The hug caught her off guard.
Maybe because they weren't that close. Maybe because she'd never expected comfort from someone she'd only known for a short time. But it felt nice, like somebody was reminding her she wasn't beyond redemption. She couldn't remember the last time she’d been hugged by someone she hadn't slept with.
Ellis patted her shoulder awkwardly. The way someone hugged when they weren't entirely sure what they were doing. "You need to tell him."
Myah closed her eyes. The words settled heavily in her chest. "I know." Because she couldn't keep building something real on top of a lie. Not if she actually cared about him. And God, she did.
After another moment, she finally pulled away and Ellis handed her the maroon bikini she'd abandoned on the floor.
She laughed softly and took it. "Still think I should wear this one?"
"Definitely."
A small smile tugged at her lips. "Thanks."
Ellis walked her to the door. When she stepped into the hallway, he leaned against the frame. "Tell him before the lake."
Myah winced. "Yeah."
"I'm serious." Ellis gave her a pointed look.
She sighed. Then nodded. "I'll tell him." This time, she meant it.
Ellis seemed satisfied with that answer. Finally, he smiled. "Good. Because if you don’t, I will have to.”
Myah adjusted the bikini bag over her shoulder before turning toward the elevators.
The knot in her stomach was still there.
The fear. The guilt. The certainty that the conversation with Jace might go horribly wrong.
But for the first time in weeks, she knew what she had to do.
And somehow that felt a little lighter. Even if the truth was terrifying. Even if it might cost her everything.