CHAPTER 36
It was dark outside, the streetlights casting a dim glow on the veranda. Kashish fumbled through her purse, her fingers trembling as they searched for the house keys. When she found them tucked in the back pocket, she exhaled sharply, trying to swallow the knot of nerves tightening in her throat. Steeling herself, she unlocked the door and stepped inside. She flicked the switch, and the house flooded with light, bringing back every memory that had once made this place a home.
The living room stood as a shrine to her past—her father’s hands gently oiling her hair as she sat on the sofa, his fingers weaving her braid with care. He’d wanted her hair to be strong and long like her mother’s. Every weekend, it had been their ritual. She took a few hesitant steps inside, her eyes sweeping across the spotless space. There wasn’t a speck of dust. Shekhar had seen to that, sending his servants to keep the place clean while she had avoided it, unable to confront the pain that lay in every corner of this house. It was pristine, but it felt empty—like her heart.
As she entered the small kitchen, more memories rushed back. Her father, always there, cooking her favorite meals—aloo poori and dal rice. She could still picture herself sitting on the kitchen counter, helping him cut vegetables. One time, she had hurt her finger with the knife, and he’d rushed her to the clinic, guilt clouding his face for days as the cut healed. That had been his love—unbreakable, infinite, the kind that never let go. Tears stung her eyes, threatening to fall. She swayed, dizziness overcoming her, but she forced herself to stay upright. She’d been through too much today. From coaxing Rudra into seeing the psychiatrist, to digesting the depth of his phobia, and now, stepping back into this house after years. She couldn’t afford to break down—not yet.
She made her way to the bedroom, feeling a sense of claustrophobia in what once felt like a vast space. Everything seemed smaller, suffocating. She dragged herself toward the bed, knowing that beneath it lay her secret place—the one only her father and she knew about. A small, inconspicuous tile had to be lifted, beneath which was the trunk. That trunk had held her most precious possession, her doll, hidden from the world, away from the clutches of her neighbourhood friends who had always wanted to take it from her. Her father had shown her the spot when she was just a child, promising her it was their secret. Now, as she crouched down, her fingers trembling, she pried the tile loose.
Kashish finally pulled up the ceramic tile, her hands shaking. There it was - a small trunk, hidden where no one would think to look. As she stared at the trunk, questions raced through her mind. Why had her father left a message like this? Had he known he was in danger? Had he been afraid? Sweat trickled down her face, but she didn’t even notice. Her whole focus was on the trunk and the key Veeru Kaaka had given her. Moving slowly, hardly daring to breathe, she put the key in the lock and turned it.
The trunk opened with a soft click.
******************
Rudra was halfway back to Raheja Mansion when his phone rang. It was Shekhar.
“I’m on my way, Bhai. I’ll be there in 20 minutes,” Rudra answered.
“Is Kashish with you?” Shekhar asked.
“No... I dropped her at Uttam Nagar,” Rudra replied, pausing as something unsettled gnawed at him.
“Uttam Nagar? Why?” Shekhar asked, surprised. “Did she go to her house? She was asking me for the keys earlier, but she hasn’t set foot there in over 11 years.”
A sinking feeling settled in Rudra’s chest. He clenched his jaw, a flood of worry rushing through him.
“I’ll check on her. Don’t worry,” Rudra reassured before hanging up. “Mohan, turn around. We’re going back to Uttam Nagar.”
Mohan nodded, making a swift U-turn. Rudra’s anxiety bubbled. He cursed himself for leaving her there alone. Something about the way she’d brushed him off didn’t sit right. She wasn’t supposed to be there—alone, confronting whatever demons that house held for her. He should have stayed with her.
“Mohan, hurry!” Rudra ordered, his voice sharp with urgency.
Mohan sped up, sensing the tension radiating from his boss. Rudra’s heart raced faster with each passing minute. Something was wrong—he could feel it in his bones. Kashish was in trouble, and every second wasted felt like a lifetime.
Twenty minutes later, they pulled up outside Kashish’s house. Rudra stepped out of the car, his heart pounding in his chest. This was the place where it had all begun—the place where he had unwittingly shattered her life. But none of that mattered now. She was inside, and she needed him.
“Kashish!” he shouted as he rushed into the house, his voice echoing through the empty rooms. There was no response. Panic surged through him as he tore through the house, finally reaching the bedroom. The sight of her nearly brought him to his knees.
She sat on the floor, lost in her own world, tears streaming down her face, her body trembling. She was clutching a piece of paper, her eyes empty, as though the weight of the world had crashed down on her.
“Kashish?” he called softly, dropping to his knees beside her, his heart twisting painfully at the sight of her so broken.
She didn’t even acknowledge him. Her gaze remained distant, locked on something he couldn’t see. He reached out to touch her face.
“Kashish, speak to me,” he pleaded.
Still no response. Slowly, she lifted the paper toward him, her hand trembling as if the very act of passing it to him took everything she had left. He swallowed hard, taking the paper from her hands, and as he began to read, he realized why this was the source of her pain—the secret that had shattered her world all over again.
‘ Kashish,
My little child, if you’re reading this, it means Veeru has fulfilled his promise of giving you the key. I instructed him to wait until you were grown enough to understand. It tears me apart to write this, but it’s the only way I can explain why I won’t be there with you anymore.
I’ve been diagnosed with a brain tumor. It’s in its last stage, and the doctors have given me only three months to live. They say I need immediate hospitalization, but the cost is too much, and there’s no certainty I’ll survive. After your mother left us, I made it my mission to raise you and carry both our burdens. But it seems God has other plans. He’s taking me from you, much sooner than I had hoped. I can’t bear to spend my last days waiting for death, watching you suffer as I slowly fade. So, I’ve made some difficult decisions.
This house is mortgaged to the Khatris. I borrowed money against it, hoping to secure your future, but I invested in a bogus company. The money is gone, Kashish, and I have no way to fix this. I’ve failed you in every way. The only choice left to ensure you have a future is to take my own life. I will stage my death as an accident, forcing myself in front of a speeding car. At least this way, there will be some compensation, a shelter for you—something I can leave behind.
By the time you read this, you might already have the secure life I dreamed of giving you. You may hate me for this decision, Kashish, but I couldn’t see another way. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you. Please, don’t hate me. I love you, baby, and I’ll pray that you find all the happiness in the world.
Your Paapa’
The paper slipped from Rudra’s hands as he finished reading. Darkness crept into his mind, disbelief crashing over him like a wave. Kashish’s father had orchestrated the very accident that destroyed his life, his family’s life. If it hadn’t been his car, it would’ve been someone else’s. Her father had committed suicide? The truth suffocated him, anger, betrayal, and disgust boiling beneath the surface. This man, whom Kashish had held in such high regard, had selfishly condemned him to a life of guilt and punishment. Rudra’s breath hitched as he stared at Kashish, her frail body trembling, her face a canvas of anguish and disbelief.
“Kashish… look at me,” he demanded.
But she couldn’t. More tears flowed from her eyes, her heart breaking knowing the truth she never wanted to face. All these years, she had blamed the wrong person, fought against an innocent man. Rudra Raheja wasn’t fully responsible for her father’s death. It was her father who had twisted Rudra’s fate, a young boy whose life was ruined by a crime he hadn’t really committed. How could she ever live with this knowledge? She was now indebted to the Rahejas for life—these people who had given her a home, a fortune, a family she didn’t deserve.
“Kashish, talk to me, dammit!” Rudra growled. He couldn’t bear her silence. She needed to speak, to release her pain before it swallowed her whole.
But Kashish felt as though she was standing on the edge of an abyss, with darkness creeping in from all sides. Her vision blurred, her body weakened by the emotional storm raging inside her. The room spun, and before she could even process the depth of her heartbreak, she collapsed. The last thing she remembered was Rudra’s panicked voice shouting for Mohan as he scooped her into his arms, carrying her away from the house that held too many ghosts of a past she no longer recognized.
*******************
Kashish’s eyes snapped open, her chest heaving, drenched in sweat. The room was pitch dark, but something felt off. This wasn’t Raheja Mansion. She quickly realized it was her childhood home, the place where she had spent her most innocent days. The faint sound of clinking cutlery echoed from the kitchen, making her body tense. She had no strength left, yet she dragged herself out of bed, her feet heavy as she followed the noise.
Standing in the kitchen doorway, she froze seeing her father, Keshav Bedi, before the stove, cooking as if nothing had changed. He looked the same as she remembered, but his face carried the weight of time and worry. His shoulders were hunched, and his hair had grayed, but a familiar, comforting smile crossed his lips when he saw her.
“You’re awake. Look what I’ve made for you—Aloo Poori, your favorite,” he said, lifting the lid of a pot.
Tears welled up in Kashish’s eyes, and for a fleeting moment, she felt the warmth of being his little girl again. Without thinking, she rushed forward and hugged him tightly, the familiar scent of home enveloping her.
“I missed you, Paapa,” she whispered.
“I missed you too, Kashish.” He kissed her on the top of her head before gently pulling away.
As she stepped back, her gaze drifted to his forehead. The painful truth of his illness hit her, and the memory of his letter resurfaced, filling her heart with anger and disbelief.
“You killed yourself?” Her voice trembled with rage.
Keshav looked down, guilt etched into his features. “I was dying anyway, Kashish. I thought... I thought I could secure a future for you—something I couldn’t do while I was alive.”
“But you destroyed another family, Paapa!” Her voice cracked, thick with fury. “Your decision ruined Rudra’s life. He spent two years suffering in juvenile home for something he didn’t do on purpose! He was molested there, humiliated, and even now, his family bears the weight of a broken soul. He lives among them, but he’s isolated... because of you!”
Keshav’s mouth opened, but no words came out. The shame on his face deepened as he struggled to justify his choices. “I didn’t see it that way... I only thought about your future, Kashish.”
“You built my future on the ruins of someone else’s happiness!” she screamed, her voice shaking with grief. “I’ll never forgive you for this, Paapa. You were selfish! You were selfish!”
Suddenly, Kashish jolted awake, her body jerking upright in bed. The room around her spun as the words, “You were selfish, Paapa... you were selfish,” echoed from her lips. Her face was drenched in sweat, her heart pounding violently in her chest. This wasn’t her childhood home. She was back at Raheja Mansion.
Anjali rushed into the room, her arms wrapping around Kashish to steady her.
“Kashish, calm down,” she whispered gently, trying to soothe her.
Her body continued to tremble as she turned to Anjali and broke down in her arms. Anjali held her close.
“If you needed to go to Uttam Nagar, why didn’t you tell Shekhar or me? We could have gone with you,” Anjali said softly, pulling back to look at Kashish’s tear-streaked face.
Kashish shook her head, guilt weighing her down like an anchor.
“I didn’t want to drag anyone with me... that house holds too many memories.”
“That’s exactly why we didn’t want you to go alone. But thank God Rudra found you and brought you home,” Anjali said, brushing her hand gently over Kashish’s hair.
The mention of Rudra made Kashish’s heart twist painfully. How could he still be so caring after reading that letter? Didn’t he tell anyone? Why was Anjali acting as if nothing had changed? She mustered the courage to ask, her voice weak and uncertain.
“Rudra...?”
“Yes, he brought you back, Kashish. He even called the doctor to check on you and stayed by your side for two hours until I made him rest,” Anjali explained. “He’s been so worried.”
Kashish’s breath hitched. He had read that letter—the letter that proved he was innocent. Yet, he said nothing to his family. He didn’t demand justice, didn’t reveal the truth. How could he stay silent? How could he still care for her, knowing everything? This only intensified her guilt, crushing her under the realization that she didn’t deserve the kindness this family had shown her.
“I’ll get your dinner, alright? You need to eat,” Anjali said, standing up to leave.
“No, Anju. I can’t. I’m not hungry,” Kashish muttered, her voice hollow.
Anjali frowned. “But—”
“Please. I just... need to be alone tonight. Please,” Kashish pleaded.
After a moment, Anjali relented with a sigh.
“Alright, but don’t overthink. Rest, okay? If you need anything, just call me.”
Kashish nodded absently as Anjali left the room. As soon as the door clicked shut, she curled into herself, clutching the pillow tightly. Tears streamed down her face once more. How could she ever face the Rahejas again, knowing the truth? Every second in this house would be a haunting reminder of her father’s selfishness, a reminder that this family would have been so much happier if not for him. And Rudra... how could she ever meet his gaze again?
The guilt, the pain, the overwhelming sorrow—it was too much. Kashish knew her life here would never be the same again.