Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Kelsie
I ’ve spent all morning trying to avoid running into Carson.
Things almost got out of control last night, and we need to keep some distance between us.
Especially if that’s the outcome of my first night at his house.
The insurance company said it might take up to six weeks for them to get everything submitted and finalized and so the countdown begins.
After my cold shower to try to get him off my mind, I try to sneak down the staircase to put something in my stomach, but as soon as I hit the last step, there he is, a coffee cup outstretched in his hand like he has been waiting for me.
My breath catches in my throat as our eyes lock.
Carson's piercing blue gaze holds mine, intense and searching, as if he's trying to read my thoughts.
I hesitate, my hand hovering in midair, torn between taking the offered cup and maintaining the distance I so desperately need.
“Morning. Thought you might need this. I swear I heard you tossing and turning all night.”
Was he listening to me?
“Old house. It creaks easily.”
I swallow hard, willing my racing heart to slow.
“Thanks,” I manage to whisper, finally accepting the steaming mug.
Our fingers brush for the briefest moment.
Carson leans against the kitchen counter, his muscular arms crossed over his broad chest. “I just came in to grab a piece of toast before going back out to the horses, but heard the shower and figured you’d want a fresh cup of coffee.”
It’s the little things.
That why I fell for him in the first place.
“Listen. About last night?—”
“We don't have to talk about it,” I interrupt quickly, panic rising in my chest. “It was... it was nothing.”
He takes a step closer, and I can feel the heat radiating from his body. “Was it?” he asks, his breath warm against my ear. “Because it sure as hell didn't feel like nothing to me.”
Six weeks suddenly feels like an eternity, and I'm not sure I have the strength to resist him for that long. How are we going to survive this?
“We can't... This isn’t…”
But before I can finish, his calloused hand gently cups my cheek.
His thumb traces my lower lip, and I can't help but lean into his touch, my resolve crumbling with each passing second.
“Tell me you don't feel it too,” he murmurs, his eyes searching mine. “Tell me I'm imagining this.”
I want to lie, to push him away and maintain the walls I've built around my heart. But the words won't come. Instead, I find myself drawn closer, like a moth to a flame. The coffee mug slips from my grasp, clattering to the floor and spilling its contents across the worn wooden planks.
Neither of us moves to clean it up. We stand frozen, caught in a moment of heated tension. Everything fades into the background as Carson's lips hover mere inches from mine.
Just as I think he's about to close the distance between us, a small voice calls out from upstairs. “Dad?”
Reality crashes back in. Carson steps back, running a hand through his tousled dark hair. “I’m down here, buddy,” he calls back, his voice slightly strained. “Be right up.”
Our eyes meet once more, a world of regret and longing passing between us. “We should clean this up,” I mutter, gesturing to the spilled coffee and broken cup.
Carson nods, a wry smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Yeah, we should.” But we both know he's not just talking about the mess on the floor.
As he turns to fetch a mop, I can't help but wonder how we're going to make it through the next six weeks without combusting from the heat building between us. One thing's for certain – this is going to be the longest month and a half of my life.
“Listen, I’m going to see Mandy. I might not be back until late. Is that okay?”
He immediately stops and stares at me. “You are an adult, Kelsie. Did you expect to have a curfew while staying here?”
I laugh. “No, but didn’t know if that would be a problem with Collin. He has a bedtime and I don’t want to be the one to wake him up.”
“He’ll be fine. I’ll stay up and wait on you. Just shoot me a text if you end up staying. I know how you girls are.”
And he’s right. He knows Mandy almost as well as I do. We all went to school together.
“You can head out. I’ll get the rest of this cleaned up. Have fun.”
I nod, grateful for the escape, and quickly head out the door. The crisp morning air hits my face, a welcome relief from the stifling tension. As I walk down the gravel driveway, Carson's eyes are on me from the kitchen window.
There is no way I can stay here today and not even up with his lips on mine. So some distance will do us both some good. We didn’t even make it twenty-four hours. That’s got to be a record somewhere.
The drive to Mandy's is a blur of winding country roads. And then it starts to pour. You got to be kidding me!
My mind keeps replaying that moment in the kitchen, the heat of Carson's body, the intensity in his eyes. By the time I pull up to Mandy's, my hands are shaking.
I hurry up the steps to her apartment. I hesitate at the door, my finger hovering over the buzzer, before finally pressing it. The soft chime echoes through the hallway.
The door swings open, and she stands there, her blonde curls bouncing as she pulls me into a tight embrace. I melt into her hug, feeling the tension in my shoulders dissipate. As we part, I catch a glimpse of concern in Mandy's bright blue eyes. She can read me like an open book.
“Come on in!” She ushers me inside, her hand gentle on my back as she guides me to the living room. I sank into the plush cushions of Mandy's floral-patterned couch, my fingers tracing the intricate embroidery. Mandy disappears into the kitchen, the clink of mugs and the whistle of a kettle providing a soothing soundtrack to my tumultuous thoughts.
“Here,” Mandy says, returning with two steaming mugs. “This'll warm you up.”
I wrap my hands around the mug, inhaling deeply. “I don't know what I'd do without you.”
Mandy settles beside me, tucking her feet underneath her. “That's what best friends are for, silly. Now, what's going on in that beautiful head of yours?”
I stare into the swirling depths of my tea, searching for the right words. How can I explain the storm of emotions threatening to overwhelm me?
“I… I feel like I'm drowning. Like I'm being pulled in a thousand different directions, and I don't know which way is up anymore.”
Mandy's eyes soften. “Oh, honey. Is this about the fire? Or…”
I nod, unable to meet her gaze. “Partly. It's just... everything's changing so fast. I came here to escape, to heal, but now…” I trail off, the words stuck in my throat.
“Now what?” Mandy prompts, her thumb tracing soothing circles on the back of my hand.
I close my eyes, feeling the weight of unshed tears. “Now I'm seeing the life that I could’ve had with him.”
“You mean with Carson?”
I sigh. “I... never got over him. And it terrifies me.”
Mandy laughs. “Carson? The ruggedly handsome cowboy that just so happens to be your brother’s best friend. The one that you lost your virginity too and we had way too much late night sleepovers planning your wedding. You mean that Carson?”
I nod, feeling a blush creep up my neck. “Every time he's near, it's like... like there's this invisible force pulling me towards him again. His smile, his laugh, the way he looks at me with those blue eyes... it makes me forget how to breathe.”
“Oh, Kelsie.”
I bite my lip, conflicting emotions warring within me. “This is the first time I’m seeing him since…. college.”
Mandy leans forward. “Didn’t you swear off men after Lance.”
I close my eyes, picturing Carson's face – the crinkles around his eyes when he smiled, the gentle strength in his hand. “But I can't ignore how he makes me feel. It's like... like he's waking up a part of me I thought was lost forever.”
“Listen to me, Kels,” she says. “Life is too short to ignore the possibilities of love. You've been through so much, and you deserve happiness. If Carson makes you feel alive again, don't you owe it to yourself to explore those feelings?”
I shift in my seat, Mandy's couch creaking softly beneath me.
“Think about Leo. I met him at a music festival. He was only supposed to be passing through town, but we took a chance and look at us now. We've been together for three years now, and I've never been happier.”
I close my eyes.
“So,” Mandy drawls, a mischievous glint in her eye, “tell me more about this strapping cowboy of yours. Does he still fill out those Wranglers as well as I remember?”
Heat rushes to my cheeks. “Mandy!”
“What?” she giggles, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. “I’m just asking the important questions here.”
I can't help but laugh, the sound mingling with the patter of rain against the windows.
“You're incorrigible, you know that?”
“And you're avoiding the question.”
I roll my eyes playfully, but find myself smiling despite my best efforts. “If you must know, yes, he does look... good in jeans.”
“I knew it!” Mandy crows triumphantly.
She makes me laugh so hard I spit tea out on her rug. “You know,” I say, turning back to Mandy, “I’m really glad I came here tonight.”
“No matter what you decide, I've got your back.”
Mandy suddenly sprung to her feet. “You know what we need? A good old-fashioned movie night.”
I chuckle. “Your solution to everything is either tea or movies, isn't it?”
“Hey, don't knock it,” she retorts, already moving towards her impressive DVD collection. “Besides, nothing takes your mind off things like losing yourself in someone else's story for a while.”
As I watch her scan the titles, her finger tracing along the spines. “You're right. A distraction sounds perfect right now.”
Mandy pulls out a rom-com, waving it in the air. “This one's guaranteed to make you laugh and swoon.”
We settle onto the couch, and the opening credits roll. “Mandy?”
She turns to me, eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”
“Thank you. For everything.”
She squeezes my hand. “Always, Kels. Now shush, the movie's starting.”