26. Silas
CHAPTER 26
Silas
P ayton’s sitting on the sofa with her legs crossed, Dahlia’s sitting beside her as the boys play outside on the beach, with Mary watching over them. Dahlia turned up this morning worried out of her mind. Payton told me that she hadn’t really spoken to anyone since she lost the baby, and she kept everyone at arm’s length. Dahlia especially, and only sent her messages. Dahlia had enough of being pushed away and showed up demanding answers.
Right now, Pay’s reliving her heartache, and I fucking hate it. I told her that I would have told Dahlia, save her the pain of going over it again. But Payton said no, that she owed her aunt an explanation. I’m hovering close by because I know that she’s going to break down again, and when she does, I’m going to be here to show her that she’s not alone.
I’m fucking devastated that the baby is gone, but I was honest with Pay when I told her that if she didn’t want any more then I was fine with it. All I need in life is Payton, any children we have would be blessings, and I’d love them, but Payton is all I need.
My cell rings, and Payton’s eyes come to me, she gives me a small smile, but I see the hesitance lurking behind. She’s worried about me leaving. Last night we spoke about all the shit that had happened from the moment her parents died and our lives changed. She’s scared that I’m going to leave. My girl has no idea the depths of what I feel. We’ve been apart for too fucking long; I’m not going anywhere.
Hearing her tell me that she bought us a house, I couldn’t help but smile. She gave me something that I’ve wanted since I was sixteen, and knew that Seattle Silverbacks is where I wanted to play. This has been my dream, playing for the best team in the country and being with the woman I love. Her buying this house has made that dream into a reality.
“Cas,” I say as I answer the phone, wondering what’s going on with him. I told him I was with Payton, trying to make things right between us.
“Just wanted to let you know that I’ll be gone for a few days. I’m going to see Saya.” I haven’t heard him sound at ease for a while.
“Good.” I’ve been telling him this for weeks.
“Yep, it’s time. You’ve got Payton back, now I’m going to get my woman back. How are things between you two?”
I glance at my girl and see that she’s crying in Dahlia’s arms. She’s in good hands, I take a step outside so that I can talk freely. “Between us, great. But something happened, and she’s not doing too good.”
“What happened?” There’s an edge to his tone, and this is why he’s my brother. He’s got my back no matter what.
“Payton had a miscarriage two weeks ago.” Saying the words hurt, I wasn’t there for her when she needed me the most. She went through the pain of having to have our baby removed from her alone. That’s something that I’ll never be able to make up for.
I didn’t know, but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t have been there. I knew that something was wrong. That something had happened. Two weeks I let her suffer alone when I should have gotten my ass in gear and went to her.
“Fuck. Si. Man, I’m sorry.” His voice is gravelly, he feels this hard just as I do.
“Me too. She’s here, and I’m not letting her go.” Not again. Never again.
“Good, you two have gone through a lot. It’s time for you to be happy.” I hear chatter in the background, “I’ve got to go, I’ll check in soon. Send Payton my love.”
“Will do. When you return home, make sure you do so with Saya.” I tell him as I head back inside the house.
He chuckles, “I fully intend to.”
We say our goodbyes, and when I enter the sitting room, I’m glad to see that Payton’s no longer crying and that she and Dahlia are outside on our back porch. My girl has a smile on her face, something made her smile, and I’m so grateful for whatever it was. I know she hasn’t had a lot to smile about recently.
I move outside and wrap my arms around Payton, I have the need to constantly touch her, to show her that she’s not alone. “You okay, baby?”
She leans back into my body, and her body relaxes, “Yeah, I’m okay. I hate talking about it, but I feel bad. Dahlia’s worried about me.”
“She’s not the only one,” I murmur. I’ve been worried about her a lot lately.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “Sometimes, I just get stuck in my head.”
I know; I’ve known that she does that for a long time. It’s her coping mechanism. It’s something that we have to work through.
“Do you think the pain will go away?” Her voice is soft, but it’s haunting as hell. “I hate feeling like I’m drowning, that I’m broken.”
My hands tighten around her waist, “It’s going to fade.” I murmur against her ear, “You're not broken, baby, just fractured. I’m going to help piece you back together.”
Doesn’t she know that I’d do anything to help her? That I’d move mountains if it meant she wouldn’t hurt?
“Thank you for sticking with me. The years we’ve spent apart have been due to my insecurities, I truly believed that you cheated on me, had I given you a chance to explain what I witnessed, we’d have been together. Instead, I pushed you away and lost so much time with together. I’m so sorry,” she whispers, pain lacing her voice.
I’m glad that she realizes that she shouldn’t have pushed me away.
“You should know by now, you’re stuck with me forever.” I’m not letting her go. There’s no more running, no more distance. She’s my forever girl.
“You have no complaints from me. Wherever you are, is where I want to be,” she tells me, and I swear I fall deeper for her. “I love you, Silas.”
“Damn, baby.” I grin as I spin her around in my arms, lowering my head, and my mouth crashes down against hers.
She clings to me as my tongue sweeps into her mouth, and I dominate her with just a kiss.
There’s never been anyone but her. I’ve had countless women, but none have even come close.
“Ew,” Tyler says in disgust, breaking through our lust filled haze. “Si, I don’t need to see you do that sh…”
“Tyler,” Dahlia says sternly.
“Stuff with my sister,” Tyler continues as though he wasn’t going to say the word shit.
I reluctantly pull away from Payton’s mouth, her eyes alight with humor. “Sorry, dude,” I comment as I try and hide my smirk.
“Keep your PDA to a minimum. Especially around me,” he grumbles. There’s no heat in his words, just like me, he’s just glad to see Payton smiling again.
“I think it’s nice,” Mary says with a sigh. “Payton’s finally happy again, don’t rain on their parade. Besides, having her with Silas means she’ll be able to see us more.”
Tyler nods in agreement, “You’re right, but I don’t need to see him with his tongue down her throat.”
I laugh, “I’ll do my best.” I glance at Dahlia and see she’s smiling widely as she watches all the Moore children be happy. “Are you staying for dinner?”
Dahlia shakes her head. “As much as I’d love to, we can’t.” She glances at Payton. “Now that you’re here, you’ll come to dinner?”
Payton grins, “Yes, and I’ll even make sure Silas is there too.”
“Make sure you do, it’ll be nice having a family dinner again.” She sighs wistfully, “Kids, it’s time to say goodbye.”
The whining starts, none of them want to leave, but with promises from both Payton and I that we’ll see them again, they reluctantly say their goodbyes.
As soon as the door’s closed, I push her against it. It’s been too fucking long since we’ve been intimate. Her eyes dilate as her chest rises and falls rapidly. I’m not the only one that’s affected by the distance, I’m relieved that she’s finally here and in my arms.
“Are you ready for this, baby?” I don’t want to push her, but I’m dying to be inside of her. If she’s not ready then I’ll wait. It’ll kill me, but I’m not a complete asshole.
“Yes, oh God, yes,” she groans. “Please, Silas, I need you; it’s been too long.” Her eyes are full of need.
I don’t need any more encouragement than that. I lift her into my arms, her hands tangle in my hair, and she brings my mouth down to hers. I walk us to the bedroom. With each step, my cock grows harder. She’s so fucking sexy, the way she’s tugging at my hair as she pulls me closer to her mouth.
I lay her on the bed and strip her out of her clothes. My cock is painfully hard as I stare at her beautiful naked body. It’s been too fucking long since I worshipped her body. Even though she’s lost a lot of weight she’s still gorgeous. There will never be a time that I’ll not find her attractive. My girl is sexy as hell.
I drop to my knees and smirk at her sharp intake of breath, I inhale her scent. Fuck, there’s nothing better. As soon as my tongue touches her pussy, she’s panting. I don’t stop, wanting to show her just how fucking much I’ve missed her. When I insert a finger inside of her, she cries out. Her body writhes in pleasure as I try to bring her to new heights.
“Come for me, baby,” I demand, and she does, fucking spectacularly.
“Please, Silas, I need you,” she begs. Her nails dig into my skin as her hands roam my body.
I couldn’t deny her even if I wanted to, I position myself at her pussy and push into her. She’s tight, so fucking tight, and I love that I’m the only one that has ever had her. “Fuck, baby,” I growl as her hands grip my ass checks, pulling me closer to her.
The mewling she’s making as I thrust harder into her spurs me on. My girl loves what I do to her, the way she comes apart at just my touch.
Her warm, wet, tight pussy tightens around my cock as I grip her hips and thrust harder into her. A sheen of sweat beads my forehead, she’s rocking back against me, meeting me thrust for thrust. Fuck, this girl will be my undoing.
I can’t imagine never having her, been there, done that. Never again. This is perfect. This is where I’m meant to be, buried inside of her.
“God, Pay. Feels so fucking good,” I growl as I fuck her harder. “Next time will be slow.”
She shakes her head. “This is us, Silas. We’re raw and passionate.” She pants, “Always have been.”
“Next time I’m going to make love to you,” I promise her. “It’s going to be slow and fucking torturous.”
“Silas!” She screams at my words as she tightens around my cock, her walls clenching as she detonates. Her hands pull at the sheets beneath her.
“Oh fuck, baby, I’m going to come!” I grunt as I keep up my relentless pace.
“Mmhhmmm,” she murmurs, still lost in her orgasm.
“Fuck,” I growl as I see stars while I come inside of her.
Once my cock softens, I pull out of her and collapse onto the bed, pulling her beside me and kissing her head. “I’m not letting you go, Pay.”
I can’t do it. It’ll kill me if she goes again.
“Good,” she sighs, “I don’t want to go anywhere. You’re where I’m happiest.”
And fuck if she’s not right. We’ve both proved that we can survive without the other, but nothing is as good as when I’m with her.
“No more one last times” I whisper.
“What’s that?” she asks sleepily.
“Every time we’re a part, I always think it’s one last time,” I tell her. “No more.”
“No more one last times,” she replies without hesitation.