Chapter 29 #2
“No fucking way, I don’t want to see her!” he slams his fist on the table.
Our heads both turn toward the screen door as we hear it slam shut. This is definitely not good.
He downs his Bloody Mary in three gulps, wipes his mouth on his sleeve, and storms outside toward the beach. Ah, fuck.
I walk slowly toward the car; Riley’s slumped over in the front seat, rocking herself. Her arms are wrapped around her legs. I open the door, squat down next to her, and rub her back. I don’t know why, I just do.
“He’s hurting, and he doesn’t want you to see him like this. One thing I’ve learned in the last few years is you can’t save someone. They have to want to save themselves. I think he’ll be fine if we leave. He’ll be home in a couple of days.” When I go to stand up, she reaches for my hand.
“Don’t you get it? All his life, everyone he loves leaves him, and I’m not leaving. Just give me a minute to compose myself, then I’m going to tell him how much I love him, and that I’m staying so he never has to be alone again,” she says as she wipes her face with her shirt.
Well damn, that’s some heavy shit.
She takes a few deep breaths before exiting the car and heads toward the beach. I don’t want to intrude, so I go back inside the house, hoping she can prove me wrong.
* * *
Riley
My whole body is trembling as I walk down to the beach. It’s not because I’m cold. I’m worried he doesn’t want me anymore or that he can’t forgive me for what I’ve done.
He’s standing by the water’s edge with his hands in his pockets, causing his jeans to ride low on his hips. His long-sleeve shirt is unbuttoned and fluttering in the cool ocean breeze. With the full moon reflecting off the water that laps at his feet, he looks almost heavenly.
I’m about ten feet away when he looks up at me. I struggle to breathe. The pain in his blue eyes makes my chest hurt. He raises his hand to stop me from coming closer.
“I don’t want you to see me like this. Go home with Connor.” He looks back out at the stormy sea.
“I know everyone you've ever loved has left you. I’m not leaving you. Hunter, you never have to be alone again because I’m here with you now. I love you so much.” Glancing over his shoulder, the moon reflects his tears as his eyes meet mine.
“You can’t promise me forever, Riley.” As soon as the words leave his mouth, he drops to his knees, overwhelmed by the pain.
When I rush to him, he struggles to push me away.
Adrenaline flows through me as I grab his arms and wrap them around my waist. He clings to me as if he’ll never let go, his face pressed against my chest. I hold him tightly, gently stroking his neck and back to soothe him.
His body begins shaking uncontrollably; I desperately want to comfort him, but I don’t know how.
When I feel his body shift against mine, I take his face in my hands and softly stroke his tear-streaked cheeks with my thumbs. His eyes slowly close, taking my breath away. I feel like my heart might burst inside my chest; I never knew I could love someone so deeply that it hurt.
When his eyes finally open, he suddenly stands up. He cups my face in his hands and gently strokes my cheeks with his thumbs. I hadn’t realized I was crying too. I keep my eyes open because I want to memorize every detail of his beautiful face in case he can’t forgive me.
“I don’t want you to see me like this; let me get cleaned up.” He kisses me on the forehead as he threads his fingers through mine.
As we walk toward the house, Connor opens the kitchen door. He looks at our linked hands and grins.
“I found your phone, douchebag. It was tucked in the couch cushions. It’s on the charger on the kitchen counter. No need to thank me.” He winks at me as he walks out the door. “I bet it lights up like a Christmas tree once it’s charged.”
Hunter looks uneasy as he stands there with his hands in his pockets. “Bro, thanks—you know—for everything.” He extends his hand to Connor, who pulls him in for a quick hug, and they slap each other's backs.
“No worries, I’ll let everyone know you’re okay.” He beeps the horn as he backs out of the driveway, making my stomach flip-flop now that we’re alone.
“I’ll be back in a bit.” Hunter brushes his thumb across my lips, making my knees weak.
When he walks back into the living room wearing nothing but sweats, I can feel every part of my body come alive.
I wait for him to start the conversation. When he doesn’t, I decide to. “I’m sorry for what happened at your apartment the other day.” His head snaps up so quickly, his eyes glaring.
“Why do you do that, Riley? You always apologize when nothing’s your fault. It’s all mine.” Our eyes lock. “I should have told you everything a month ago, but I’m too exhausted to do this right now.”
He walks over and reaches out for my hand. When I place mine in his, he pulls me close. He whispers in my ear, “Come to bed with me, Riley. I just want to spend tonight holding you. I missed you so much, baby.”
What he doesn’t realize is that he just forgave me for all the hateful things I’ve done by telling me he missed me.
I told him I’d meet him upstairs after a quick shower. He gave me a pair of his old pajama bottoms and a T-shirt to sleep in. I don’t know why I suddenly feel so nervous, but I do.
He looks like he’s sleeping as I crawl into bed; I don’t want to wake him.
So, very quietly, I slide over until my chest is pressed against his back, one arm tucked under my pillow, the other wrapped around him.
I hear him suck in a breath as my hand brushes over his stomach before covering his heart with my hand.
He places his hand over mine, linking our fingers together.
He takes a deep breath. “I wanted to come here with you this weekend so we could celebrate his life. When things didn’t go as I planned, I did what I always do—I self-destruct.
Believe me when I say I wanted you here; I just didn’t want you to see me like that.
” He takes a breath and then continues. “You have no idea how much it means to me that you still love me. I love you so damn much, and I promise that when tomorrow comes, all your questions will be answered.”
Not long after, his breathing slows, signaling he’s sound asleep. Tomorrow, after all the waiting and wondering, I’ll finally have all of him. So why does that make me feel uneasy? I spend the night lulled by the steady pulsing of his heart, knowing he’s safe. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.