Chapter 30 #2
“Please Riley, let me finish before I lose my nerve.” He takes a shaky breath.
“I saw a small convenience store up ahead, so I pulled in by the restrooms. I knew they always kept them locked, so I told him to run in and get the key while I texted someone. He jumped out of the Jeep and raced into the store, and that’s when I heard a popping noise.
When I looked up, I saw this scrawny-looking kid come flying out the door.
That’s when it hit me—the sound I just heard was a gunshot.
I don’t even remember getting out of the Jeep.
The next thing I know, I’m holding Brady in my arms—and thinking there’s so much blood—I kept telling him he’s going to be okay.
I just wanted him to know I wasn’t angry at him because he kept telling me he was sorry, over and over again.
That’s when he took his last breath on this earth, and it was all my.
fucking. fault!” He hits his chest to emphasize the point.
The last thing I remember is pressing my hand over my mouth to silence the keening rising in my throat, then everything goes black.
Once my eyes flutter open, I see the concern on Hunter’s face.
He’s holding a cool towel against my forehead.
That’s when I realize I fainted. I wrap my arms around his neck as he lifts me and sets me on his lap, cradling me in his arms. The only sound in the stillness of the room is the beating of our hearts and our rapid breathing.
For some reason, I can’t seem to get close enough to him.
It’s like I want to crawl inside of him.
The impact of what he just told me is too much for me to accept.
I can’t help the tears that spill down my cheeks.
“Shh; don’t cry, baby.” He’s rubbing his hands up and down my back, trying to soothe me, when I should be consoling him.
Then it hits me—now I understand why he hates it when I tell him I’m sorry. Those were the last words his brother ever said to him.
Oh my God!
I pull back to look at him; he’s not crying, but his eyes say it all. “Hunter, you are not to blame for Brady’s death.”
In a quiet voice, he says, “Yes, I am. I was more concerned about my hookup that night than about taking care of him…”
I don’t even let him finish. “Listen to me. The boy who pulled the trigger is the one responsible for his death, not you.”
His eyes lock on mine. “You weren’t there when my parents came to the hospital. Instead of comforting me after what I just witnessed, my mother slapped me. They still blame me for the death of their youngest son — it was my responsibility to keep him safe.”
“Do you think that if you had gone inside that store to get the key, things would have turned out differently? Is that why you’ve blamed yourself all these years? Do you wish he had killed you instead of Brady?” I see the answer in his eyes.
I don’t give him a chance to speak. “So if Brady had lived and you were the one who was killed, what kind of life do you think he would have had? His grandparents are dead, his big brother is dead, and that leaves his parents. We all know how loving they are, right? Do you think he would have been happy when everyone he loved was gone?” My heart’s breaking for him right now, but I need him to understand.
I straddle him so I can wrap my arms around him.
I can feel his tears as they trickle down my neck.
Now I’m going to comfort him like I should have done from the start.
“Hunter, sometimes things happen for reasons we can’t explain.
Some would say he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I believe that sometimes bad things happen to good people.
The one thing you were responsible for was giving him the happiest ten years of his short life…
he was always smiling because of you.” He takes a shuddering breath as he looks up at me.
* * *
Hunter
I don’t understand what I did to deserve this woman who looks at me with such love and compassion in her eyes.
She has no idea that what she just told me is exactly what I’ve been longing to hear since the day he died.
It amazes me how she always knows the right thing to say at just the right moment, which makes me love her even more.
What surprises me is how she understands me; it’s almost like she knows me better than I know myself.
Riley can take one look at me and immediately know what I’m feeling or thinking.
It’s a little unsettling. But it’s one of the reasons I’ve fallen deeply in love with her; we fit perfectly, and I don’t want to be with anyone else but her, ever.
I feel terrible that she fainted. Thankfully, I reached her just before she hit the floor.
I believe it was because she hadn't eaten all day and was shocked by what I told her. Actually, I gave her a simplified version of what happened; I didn’t want to give her a play-by-play of what I experienced.
“Thank you for not giving up on me, for believing that I’m worth fighting for.
” I run my fingertips along her face, tracing its outline.
“You’re so beautiful, inside and out.” Lifting her chin with my index finger, I gently press a kiss to her lips.
When I feel her body sway against mine, I pull back to look at her; she seems ready to pass out again.
Picking her up, I gently place her on the couch, propping up her head with a few pillows before bringing her a glass of water. “Riley, you need to drink some water and have something to eat.”
“I’m fine, I just got a little dizzy there for a minute.” She takes a few sips.
“You already fainted once today; I’m not going to let it happen again. You stay put while I warm up some food for both of us.” Glancing back at her, I make sure she hasn’t moved before heading into the kitchen.
With a plate in each hand, I walk into the living room; she’s sitting up when I get there.
I hand her a plate and ask, “How are you feeling?” Then I sit down next to her.
“I’m fine. Stop worrying about me.” She smiles up at me as we start to eat our first meal of the day. I have to admit, I was hungrier than I thought—Riley even finished everything on her plate too.
I want to move past all this depressing talk, but I can tell by the way she keeps looking at me that she still has questions. “What are you thinking, baby?” No time like the present.
She shrugs her shoulders. “I guess I want to know if they caught the boy who killed Brady?”
“The store owner called 911, but they never found him. So, I hired someone, and two months later, they arrested him. He was convicted of involuntary manslaughter and went to prison.” When I grab our plates to take them into the kitchen, she stops me. Damn it.
“Hunter, when is he getting out?” Her fingers dig into my arm.
“He’s dead. Prison couldn’t rehabilitate him, so they sent him home in a body bag. Two kids lost their lives over fifty-three dollars and a damn carton of cigarettes.” I storm out of the room because suddenly I need some fucking air.
I walk out onto the deck and sit in my grandfather’s chair.
Leaning my head back against the solid wood, I listen to the waves crashing against the shore.
This time, when I close my eyes, I see Brady bodyboarding with a huge smile on his face.
Those are the memories I want to cherish for the rest of my life.
I wake up to a gentle nudge. “Hunter, please come to bed.”
When I open my eyes, I see Riley reaching out her hand to me. I didn’t realize I was so tired. Taking her small hand in mine, I let her lead me upstairs to my bedroom.
Once we slip under the covers, she snuggles close to me so I can hold her in my arms. With her back against my chest, I feel every curve of her body as I gently run my hand up and down her silky skin.
Is it wrong for me to want her so badly?
Is it wrong to want to replace the painful memories burned into my mind with new ones of Riley?
To look into her eyes as I make love to her, to feel her shatter beneath me.
Suddenly, I can feel my heart pounding in my ears, my pulse racing.
I’m consumed with a need unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. I need Riley now.
“Hunter, what’s wrong?” She turns to face me as she places her hand over my heart.
“Baby, I don’t know if it’s right or wrong, but I need you like an addict needs their next fix.” I rest my head against hers. When her hand slides down my stomach into my shorts and wraps around me, I can’t breathe.
Grabbing her face, I press my mouth to hers, parting her lips with my tongue. Every stroke of my tongue matches the rhythm of her hand inside my boxers, and it’s driving me crazy. When she runs her thumb over the tip, I’m about to blow.
I quickly pull away as she looks at me with half-hooded eyes.
I straddle her while tugging on her shirt to lift it over her head.
Her arms come up, and I slide it off; my hands immediately take the shirt’s place, and I hear a moan escape her.
Her nipples harden under my touch, sending a shiver through her body.
Her hands glide up my arms and tangle in my hair.
She pulls me down, nipping my bottom lip before sucking it into her mouth.
She whimpers, “Hunter, I need you now.”
Slipping my fingers inside the waistband of her panties, I pull them down her perfect legs. Removing mine, I toss them on the floor next to hers.
Leaning on my elbows, I position myself between her thighs, her wet warmth pressing against me.
Her eyes meet mine. “Riley, I’m going to make love to you, nice and slow.
I want to watch and feel you as you come apart beneath me.
I want to remember this moment forever.” I see a tear slip down her cheek, so I catch it with my lips as I slide inside her.
I cup her face with my hands so I can watch her as I move in and out of her.
Her legs are wrapped around my hips, and her hands grip my arms. Her eyes close when I capture her mouth with mine.
I part her lips with my tongue to explore every inch of her.
She slides her hands up my arms and tangles them in my hair, tugging me closer.
When I hear her moan, I pull out almost completely. Her eyes open as she stares at me.
“Tell me what you want, baby?” I ask her as my own need begins to take over.
“I want you, Hunter; only you.” She arches her hips.
“You have me, forever.” When her eyes lock on mine, I push inside her.
Our bodies are slick with sweat as the urge to slow down disappears; now it’s deep and passionate as her body rocks against mine. I can feel her start to shake beneath me, so I rest my head against hers. With our eyes still locked, she says, “I love you so much baby; come with me.”
As our eyes close and I crush my mouth to hers, we shatter into a million pieces, both of us with each other’s names on our whispering lips.