Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
Lainey
Tired after a long day at school, I fell asleep after dinner. Nightmares crawled over my mind like hungry spiders. The knock on the door woke me to a pitch-black house, and my heart seized.
Somehow, I knew.
Two figures were visible on the other side of the front door’s decorative glass panes. With my pulse pounding in my ears, I fumbled with the door handle before finally jerking it open.
Ty stood there, his brown skin ashen. By his side was Sgt. Cullen, a stocky blonde woman who just transferred to their shift a few months ago. Her expression was equally grim.
I couldn’t control it, the mix of panic and anguish that bubbled up my throat. It was like a pipe bursting, creating a sudden geyser. The sound that spewed out from me was otherworldly, rocketing to the far reaches of the universe.
“Mrs. Bell,” Sgt. Cullen spoke in a monotone, “we regret to inform you that there was an incident tonight in which your husband was shot. He did not survive his wounds.”
I couldn’t tell you what happened after that. I believe she embraced me. I believe she guided me to the sofa and let me cry on her shoulder.
Hours later, I was still sitting there in the shadows created by a hastily turned-on lamp, the sound that had rocketed up my throat still echoing in my ears. My parents were sitting with me now.
But Sgt. Cullen was gone.
And Ty was gone.
I couldn’t even remember if he’d looked at me.
* * *
Hours passed, or maybe it was days. Coulda been weeks.
A steady stream of low voices, well-meaning platitudes, and muffled footsteps filled my home.
Someone helped me dress and leave the house.
I went through the motions. My body swayed as dozens of police officers from all over the Midwest stood with their heads bowed and loyalty to their thin blue line brotherhood in their hearts.
There were casseroles and stews and potted plants and decaying flowers.
My mother cajoling me to eat.
Thoughts of my OB/GYN being thrilled I was losing weight.
But what did it matter now?
And there were tears.
Not just wet drops sliding down my cheeks but full body convulsions and deluges that soaked pillowcases and sheets. Not just tears but pain. A deep, searing, aching pain that obliterated all thoughts. All potential actions. All potential hope.
There was no hope.
Only the dark, dark phantom that wrapped its batlike wings around my soul and promised never to let me go.