Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
Ty
It had been on my heart for a while that when Noah asked me to “take care of her,” there was another woman he loved that I should look in on too. His mother.
I’d met her several times. She lived near the department and often brought in goodies for the officers.
Noah’s father had passed away young—he was also a cop, one who suffered a heart attack just months after he retired from duty at the age of forty-five.
He had a retirement job lined up as a state park ranger, but he never got to start it.
Noah was his mother’s pride and joy. She was so shaken up at the funeral, she was barely able to speak to me. She just threw her arms around me and held me tight, sobbing.
I shouldn’t have let two months go by without talking to her.
On my day off, a clear, crisp December afternoon, I scooped up a Christmas cactus identical to the one I’d sent Lainey, and headed to her home on Main Street.
It was a small limestone house with white and green awnings and a carpeted porch.
Her face brightened when she saw me on the other side of the door. “Well, if it isn’t Tykari Jones! Come in, come in. It’s cold out there.” She ushered me inside.
“Mrs. Bell, it’s good to see you. I wanted to stop by and wish you a Merry Christmas. And give you this.” I held out the Christmas cactus, which was just starting to pop with bright pink blooms.
“Oh my goodness, how thoughtful of you! Can I get you anything to drink? I just started my kettle for tea.”
I loved that Noah’s mother was only in her fifties, but she had the countenance of a proper British octogenarian. Losing her husband and her son had given her a brittle look, but her smile softened her features as she awaited my answer.
I wasn’t much of a tea drinker—well, iced tea, maybe—but I nodded. “That sounds great, thank you.” I followed her into the kitchen when she gestured that way.
After setting the Christmas cactus on the round oak table, I pulled out a chair and settled on its plaid ruffled cushion.
She’d decorated for Christmas with little light-up village houses and Santa Claus figurines.
The china cabinet displayed white dishes with holly accents, and on the hutch below stood a dozen or more porcelain angels.
“It’s very festive in here, Mrs. Bell!” I looked around, nodding in approval.
Her pale face flushed, giving her a more youthful look. “Oh, please, call me Diane. We can certainly dispense with the formalities, can’t we?”
“Of course, of course.” I smiled as she poured hot water into two Christmas-themed teacups. When she presented a tea caddy, I pointed to one in a red and green package.
She settled in next to me at the table, pouring some milk into her tea and stirring gently. “How have you been, Tykari?”
She always used my full name, like my mother. Maybe that was just a mom thing.
“To be honest, I’ve had a rough time.” I saw no point in lying to her. Losing Noah was one of the hardest things I’d ever gone through in my entire life. “How about you?”
“Same,” she admitted with a sigh. “The holidays don’t make things any easier. I went to my sister’s in Bloomington for Thanksgiving, but it was a solemn affair. I don’t think Christmas will be much better. Next year, perhaps—it will be Noah’s baby’s first Christmas.”
I nearly choked on my tea. I should have prepared myself for her to mention the pregnancy, but for some reason, I’d failed to do so. The fact that Lainey was pregnant and wouldn’t let me be involved stung almost as bad as losing Noah. Almost.
I managed another smile. “Right. I heard about that. I’m sure you’re excited to meet your grandbaby.”
“I’ll always wonder what it would be like to see my son with his own son or daughter,” she said, a wistful tone to her voice. “I know he would have been an incredible father.”
A tear stung at my eye, but I forced it back. “I have no doubt.”
She pinned her hazel eyes that looked so much like her son’s directly on mine. “Tykari, Noah cared for you a great deal.”
A lump grew in my throat as I nodded. “I know. I cared for him too.”
“He loved you…as more than a brother.” She gave me a knowing smile.
She knew? I couldn’t imagine that was what she really meant by her declaration that Noah loved me.
“After his father died, Noah and I became very close,” she continued. “Sometimes he would pop over when you finished a night shift—early in the morning, five or six o’clock. I’d make coffee, and we’d sit here and share all our deepest secrets.”
I swallowed hard. Deepest secrets?
She sighed. “He told me about the special relationship you had with him and Lainey.”
My voice cracked, “He did?” Heat rushed into my cheeks as I imagined sharing the same information with my mother.
Why didn’t he ever tell me she knew?
“Lainey didn’t want her family to know, and Noah said you didn’t want your family to know either,” she explained. “I think one of his biggest regrets would be that he wasn’t allowed to live his life and love openly, publicly.”
I was blown away by her words. “I—I don’t know what to say.” I shook my head. “Lainey isn’t speaking to me, and I—”
“You want to be there for her,” she finished for me.
I leaned forward and shared, “One of the reasons she cited was not wanting to upset you or the rest of Noah’s family. She didn’t want you to think I made a move on her once Noah was out of the way.”
“No,” Mrs. Bell shook her head adamantly, “I would never think that. I know Noah would want you to take care of her, take care of the baby—whether it’s his or yours.”
“Does Lainey know you know?” I studied her face, needing to know the answer to this question. Because if she did—then her telling me she needed to keep it a secret for Noah’s sake was a slap in the face.
“No. Noah didn’t want me to tell her. He didn’t want her to feel bad or know how desperately he wanted to be out.”
“Wow.” I couldn’t get my mouth to form any other words.
This was all so…
Illuminating.
My phone rang. I glanced down at it, prepared to send the call to voicemail.
Diane laid her hand on top of mine. “Go ahead and answer it,” she said. “I don’t mind.”