Chapter 28
twenty-eight
MAYA
“Santé!”
We all cheer as my dad sabers the bottle of Chateauneuf-du-pape. I hold out my glass to catch any errant drops before they fall on the boat. We’re celebrating the purchase of our newest property in Antibes on a private yacht. The best view of the resort is from the harbor after all.
Dad holds up his now-full glass to address the group. I don’t even know half the people here besides my mom and the lawyers I’ve become all too familiar with recently. “To my brilliant daughter. We couldn’t have done it without you.”
I beam, trying to stifle a yawn and give him the reaction he’s hoping for. In reality, I just want to go to bed.
The last two weeks have been grueling. Endless meetings with lawyers while we made tiny, mostly insignificant changes to our contract have left me exhausted, falling into a deep sleep each night. But every morning, I wake up feeling restless.
While I normally love any time I spend in this beautiful city, I haven’t been able to enjoy it. And it’s not because of the work. It’s because I feel alone. It’s a feeling I don’t think I like anymore.
Something has changed for me this year. Being alone in a beautiful city and discovering everything it can offer has always been my favorite hobby. At least, I thought it was. It’s why I started my blog My Way , why Ellie and I named our company Wander . It’s why the only tattoo I have is a script flaner . It’s one of my favorite lexical gaps, a French word that describes the act of wandering through a new city and being completely present in the moment. Wandering with intention. It’s kind of my mantra.
But now I wish Liam were here. Poppy too. I wish I could see her try socca for the first time and tell me if the chickpea pancakes are up to her standards. I wish I could travel around the town with Liam, tasting each and every bouillabaisse until we’ve determined a favorite. I wish I could stop thinking about wishing for them to be here because I’m scared I’m going to say it aloud and defy every law of time and space and cause an actual catastrophe.
I already slipped up once on this trip. At lunch with the sellers, I was served a glass of rosé a bit too tepid for my liking. “I wish this was chilled,” flew from my lips before my brain caught up, and in seconds our waiter returned with a new glass. As far as I can tell, no ill effects have taken root, but my lunch guests were more than a little concerned when they saw me start to panic.
For tonight, I’m trying my best to relax, to enjoy this beautiful evening in one of my favorite places and be proud of the work I’ve done. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t get the high that usually comes.
I’m taking another sip of champagne when I feel my phone buzz in the bag at my hip. I’m shocked when I see it’s a text from Liam. I’ve barely heard from him since the day I left, just a couple of texts checking in, one FaceTime from him and Poppy during story-time. I know it’s my fault we haven’t talked more, since I told him I was going to be busy. He said to call whenever I was free but my nerves have stopped me.
I open the message to find a selfie of him and Poppy. They’re blowing me a kiss.
Liam :
Hope you’re having a great time in France and that the food is almost as good as mine. We’re missing you. Would it be okay if we picked you up at the airport when you come back? Just let me know once you book a flight. Doesn’t matter when, we’ll be there
Tears prick the corners of my eyes. It’s another simple gesture but something so unfamiliar to me. Ellie used to say she wished she had a car in San Francisco so that she could pick me up at the airport, and I always found it strange. Isn’t it easier to just call a car?
But now I see it differently. It’s one less hour I’ll have without a kiss from Liam, or hearing Poppy’s laugh. It’s one less hour away from the people I?—
“Maya? Are you listening?”
“Huh?”
“I told you she wasn’t paying attention,” Mom mutters before walking away.
“Sorry, Dad. Just reading a text. What’s up?”
My father places an arm around my shoulders, steering me away from the crowd. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
We make our way to the upper deck where there’s no one but a sole stewardess manning the small bar area.
“Sit,” he says, pointing to the couch.
“What’s going on?” I ask. “I feel like I’m in trouble.”
“Quite the opposite, actually. I’m very impressed with the work you’ve done this week. Anthony is too,” he says, referring to our head counsel.
“I’m glad. It’s been a lot of work, but I’m so happy we got it done. And I can’t wait to come back and visit once we implement some of the changes. The restaurant especially with the new menu and designs we’ve been discussing, and the beach club?—”
“Maya.” He says my name in that simple, polite way of silencing me. He’s done it for as long as I can remember. Rambling is not a sign of intelligence, Maya. The way you speak is the way you are perceived, Maya.
“Sorry.”
“I know you’re excited. I am too. That’s exactly why I wanted to speak to you. I’ve decided you’re ready to do more with Bloom Hotels. I want you to run the Europe office.”
“What? But you’ve always said…” That I shouldn’t ever expect him to hand me a job. That I’m too young to be taken seriously unless I’m working alongside my father. That he expects too much from his employees to ever be accused of nepotism.
Since I was a little girl, I told my dad I wanted to work for him. Saying that I idolized him is an understatement. He and Mom more than surprised me when I was given a board seat after I turned eighteen, but I quickly understood it was never for my benefit. I’m just another deciding vote.
When I started Wander with Ellie, it was mostly just to prove to my dad that I could succeed in business without him, but no matter what, I’ve always stayed in a consultative role. I present acquisition opportunities when I happen to find them. He calls when he needs me. It’s actually been a symbiotic business relationship, one I haven’t thought about changing for a long while.
“What changed?” I ask.
“Nothing. What are you talking about? I’ve seen good work from my daughter, and so has Anthony, and we?—”
“So he suggested this?”
“He might have shared his opinion that you do well with this market. And I agree with him. You have a knack for finding a hidden gem. You always have. And I can only be in so many places at once. With the size of our portfolio now, I need someone on the ground here. You’re the right person for the job.”
I let myself digest the words, decode everything from the singular language of my father. And then my phone buzzes again.
Liam:
Sorry to bug you again. The glasses just got delivered to the diner. My current patron is a big fan
There’s another photo, this time of Poppy sipping on a milkshake.
“Maya? Can we please finish this conversation?”
“No.”
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t want the job.” As soon as the words are out I feel lighter. The weight I’ve been feeling for weeks is suddenly lifted and floating away. Whatever conflicting thoughts I had before, they’re gone.
“What do you mean? Of course you want the job.”
“You’re right. I love working for this company, and I’m happy to be more involved. But I’m not moving here. So whatever role you want me in, I’ll only take it if it means I can stay in Vermont.”
“Vermont? I thought that was just temporary. You’re planning to live there forever?”
“I don’t know. But I’m not planning on leaving anytime soon.”
He sets down his drink and smacks both hands on his thighs, like he can’t believe he has to deal with this new problem .
“You need to grow up, Maya. Are you really planning to just follow your friend around the country like some needy puppy? I raised you to be more independent than that.”
It’s really an incredible talent, that even when he’s insulting me, he’s trying to take credit for anything I’ve done right.
“You didn’t raise me to be independent. You raised me to be isolated,” I appeal. “And I’m not just staying there for Ellie, but could you really blame me if I was? She’s my family. And since that word is probably meaningless to you, she’s also my business partner . Just because we sold Wander doesn’t mean we can’t work together again. Maybe being in the same place will give us that option.”
I’m not sure I’ve ever truly thought about this, at least not consciously, but it makes sense. I loved working with Ellie. We created something great, even when we were too young and too brave and too female to be taken seriously by almost anyone. Even when my own father didn’t want to invest, we persevered. Together. We made magic happen with nothing but each other.
“I just don’t understand what’s gotten into you. You were engaged to a great man, helping out with the company more than ever, you were on the right path. Now you’re…what? What are you even doing?”
“What am I…I’m living , Dad. I’m happy, okay. I met a man who actually cares about me and not who my family is or what my net worth might be. Someone who actually gives a shit when I travel because he cares whether I’m home or not. I have a friend whom I love more than anything and she’s going through one of the toughest times in her life. And I want to be there for her, because that’s what you do for family, and that’s what she is to me.”
“So it’s a guy. I should’ve guessed.” He picks up the drink again and takes a long sip. Now he’s just annoyed with me. Annoyed because I’m not doing exactly what he wants. I’m not another line item he can cross off for getting the job done right.
“It’s not just a guy. Are you even listening to me?”
“What’s he do?” Of course this is the only thing Dad cares about.
“Liam’s a chef. A great chef, actually.”
“In the middle of nowhere? Sounds like he might be pulling your leg, honey.”
“He had an incredible restaurant in New York. Michelin starred. And he was nominated for the James Beard award twice.” Somehow I know all my dad hears is nominated and not won . “He only left the city to take better care of his daughter and now he owns a small restaurant in Vermont.”
I hear my mistake seconds too late.
“His daughter ? Jesus, Maya, do you hear yourself right now? I know I raised you better than this .”
I suck in a deep breath through my nose. My dad’s a snob. I’ve always known this. There’s a reason he never took the time to get to know Ellie, a reason he still thinks Ryan’s a great guy even after I told him how he was using me to trigger his inheritance. Ryan was a Morgan, after all, no matter how far removed.
But the way he’s snubbing Liam, the deep wave of protection I feel for Poppy, seeing Dad’s reaction to nothing but her existence, it’s the final straw.
I stand up, finish my drink in one pull. My blood feels like it’s on fire, ready to burst out of my skin. “If you want me to work for you in any capacity, you need to make peace with Vermont being my home, for however long I decide I want to be there. And if you ever insult the people I love again—and there are really not that many to keep track of—then you can forget about ever asking me for help with this business.”
As soon as we dock, I pop in my headphones to make a very important call.
“Hey, My,” Ellie answers. “How’s France?”
I start to walk along the harbor, making my way toward the hotel. Just hearing her voice has my nerves settling enough to focus on my surroundings. “My dad offered me a job to run the Europe office.”
“From London?”
“Paris, actually. But there’d be lots of travel around the continent.”
“Wow.” She’s not even trying to feign excitement. Thank god.
“I turned it down.” I test the words and they feel even better this time around. I’m kicking myself for not making this a video call because I’m desperate to see her reaction. She’s the only person I’ve ever confided in when it comes to my dad, the work I do, the desperation I feel to be good enough for him. She’s the only one who gets how big this is.
“I’m really proud of you.” I love that I can hear the smile in her voice. Even more, I love that her being proud of me is so much more satisfying than hearing it from my father. “Was it…bad?”
Ellie’s heard my dad and I get into it over the phone before. She even held my hand while I told him about leaving Ryan.
“It wasn’t good. At one point he said I’ve been following you around like a needy puppy.”
“You’d be an adorable puppy,” she croons. “Maybe some kind of poodle mix with floofy curls. I’d brush you every day.”
“Okay, this just got weird.”
“You know he’s wrong though, don’t you? You’ve been there for me like no one else has. If you’re any type of canine, you’d be my guard dog. Like a Belgian Malinois, but a magic one that fought away inflammation instead of intruders. And you’d spend every night at the foot of my bed just daring my lupus to flare.”
“And it got weirder. Are you working on a children’s book or something?”
She sighs. “It’s been a weird day. I just love you. And your dad has no idea how amazing you are. Please don’t let him get in your head.”
“But—” She’s right. I don’t want to let his words affect me, and still, “Do you think there might be something to it though? Like what if my attraction to Liam is fifty percent his proximity to you?”
“I’m flattered, but that’s ridiculous. It’s like saying I think he’s right for you for the same reason. I don’t care how many single neighbors I might have, I would never suggest them as a partner for you unless I really believed you’d be a good match.”
She’s right, she’s always right. But also, “Why didn’t you ever suggest I meet Liam? If you think he’s so wonderful, it seems kind of weird you never mentioned him to me before.”
“Well,” she starts. “I did think about it. At first, I hesitated because you always said you weren’t sure about wanting kids. And then you met Ryan, and…”
“Yeah,” I reply, not needing her to continue. It’s weird thinking about that, how kids were never really part of my plan. How I thought I’d never be able to connect with children because of how I grew up, never having friends my age. How Ellie always worried she couldn’t have them at all. Life is so fucking unpredictable sometimes.
“Do you ever think about working together again? Building something else? After the baby comes, obviously. Or once the kids are older, or?—”
“Where did that come from?” It’s clear she’s confused by my sudden shift in topic, but I don’t miss the excitement in her voice either.
“I don’t know. Just something I was thinking about if we’re going to be neighbors.”
“Of course I’d want to work with you again. After I survive the second kid.” She sucks in a sharp breath. “Wait, neighbors? Really?”
“Yeah, I think so.” My pulse quickens at my admission, but it’s not a bad feeling, just butterflies.
“Does this mean you want the cabin?”
“No,” I whisper. It almost comes out like a question because somehow, I’m still afraid. “But I think, I think I’m ready to take another risk.”
“Good. Call him .” And she hangs up.
I wait until the morning to call Liam. It felt like a conversation I needed to sleep on, to wait until some of the adrenaline wore off and I could have a clear head.
But the genuine smile that appears on my screen when he answers my FaceTime call is the purest form of validation.
“Hi,” he says, still grinning unabashedly. “You look gorgeous.”
“Oh, it’s just the air.” I smile back and then lift the phone so he can admire the view from my balcony where I’m having coffee. “French Riviera magic. My hair likes it better here.”
His smile falls, just a millimeter, but I catch it. “I’m glad you’re having a good time. It looks like a cool place.”
“Is that Maya?” I hear Poppy yell, and then the phone turns and I see her running toward me. “Princess Maya! When are you coming back?”
“Hey Pop-tart. Soon, I promise. I miss you.”
“Where are you?” I can tell she’s grabbed the phone from Liam to get a closer look at the screen. My view is currently up her nose.
“Poppy, let me hold it. Come sit down,” Liam mutters from off-screen. I love that I can picture everything happening even if I can’t see it. I know the exact spot where Liam is sitting on the couch. I know that he’s pulling Poppy up to sit next to him but she’ll crawl into his lap within seconds. If I try hard enough, I swear I can smell his kitchen, taste whatever meal he made for his daughter this morning.
“There you are,” I say when I can see both of their faces. “I’m in a place called Antibes, Poppy. It’s in France. Do you know where that is?”
“Umm…”
“Remember, angel? I showed you on the map the other day. She’s on the other side of the ocean.”
“Oh yeah. It’s really far.” She sounds sad now, like she thinks the distance will keep me here longer.
“It’s not that far,” I say. “Maybe you two can come next time, though. It’s kind of lonely without you.”
“Really?” Poppy’s voice is about ten notches louder this time. “Daddy, can I go?”
Liam looks flustered, so I respond for him. “We’ll all go. Together. Maybe in the summer when you don’t have school, okay?”
Liam blinks, and even with the shoddy reception and Poppy taking up seventy-five percent of the screen, I swear his eyes are locked on mine. It’s like he’s asking me for confirmation. Is he reading this correctly? I try my best to answer him with a reassuring smile.
And then, like this is an important revelation, he says, “Poppy’s never flown before.”
“Great. We’ll get her first flight on a Gulfstream and she’ll be insufferable to travel with forever. I can’t wait.”
“I’m gonna fly like a bird?” Poppy asks. But then her attention is stolen by something at the front door. She runs out of the frame yelling, “Uncle Ezra!”
“Sorry, give me a sec,” Liam mutters into the phone. It looks like he sets it down or just covers my face with a hand while he talks to his best friend. Then I see him through the screen again and he’s handing Poppy’s backpack to Ezra. The only words I catch are “Do not try and ride Desiree. One of these days she’s going to bite you.”
This is a recurring theme whenever Ezra takes Poppy for a playdate with the dogs. I find it incredibly endearing.
“Hey,” Liam says, once it’s just the two of us again.
“Hi.”
“So, show me this magical place that you’re gonna bring me and Poppy to.”
I grin, loving that he’s on board now. Taking a final sip of my coffee, I stand up and point the phone down so he can see the coastline and the first floor of the resort.
“Nice hotel,” he murmurs as I move the phone in a slow arc.
“Thanks,” I say, flipping it around so I’m on the screen again. “I bought it.”
He makes a sound, something between a snort and a deep exhale. “God, I miss you.”
Those words. Those stupid simple words. And the way he says them, like he just can’t help himself.
“I miss you too.”
We both have goofy smiles. I can see Liam’s but I can feel mine. I want to kiss him. So badly I’m tempted to wish for it. How bad would it be if I magically teleported to Vermont right now? But when I see his face staring back at me, when I think of the forthcoming reunion with him and Poppy, I can’t imagine risking a single thing in my life.
I’m done wishing.
For real this time.