18. Chapter 18
Ceth took another peek inside the discrete, nondescript black paper bag as she stepped out of the store and onto the sidewalk.
Both times she’d visited Blueville, the quirky and artsy little town had surprised her.
Last year, she’d been stunned by how many of its small, independent businesses were openly queer-owned or friendly, at least. It wasn’t at all what someone would expect from a town in the middle of Arkansas.
Her surprise carried over to today, when she’d discovered one of those small businesses was actually NeNe’s Emporium: a colorful novelty and adult toy store with a vast and varied collection of merchandise, including erotic art, sex toys, lingerie, and gender affirming undergarments.
They’d had exactly what she’d been looking for along with a few things she hadn’t been.
All in all, the excursion had been worth skipping out on a conference breakout session.
Despite the upbeat mood NeNe and her treasure trove had put Ceth in, though, she was still nervous about Krystal. Nervous and worried that her plan for later tonight was a bad idea.
Last night, Krystal had seemed comfortable and enthusiastic about being intimate with Ceth again even though they hadn’t discussed it ahead of time. Then she’d seemed to be at ease when she started out the morning, and they’d shared…something before she left.
But there had also been a heaviness in the way she’d abruptly announced having dinner plans.
At first, Ceth had felt a twinge of jealousy she had absolutely no right to as she wondered if Krystal had a date.
But the serious, almost worried expression on Krystal’s face as she’d mentioned needing to “take care of something,” had put that fear to rest and awakened concern in its place.
Ceth had no idea what Krystal needed to do, but she hoped Krystal wasn’t sick or in trouble or something.
She’d said she would explain, and Ceth hoped against hope Krystal trusted her enough to follow through with that.
Whatever was going on, she might not be up to Ceth’s suggestion for tonight.
But Ceth had no choice but to wait and see.
The early afternoon sun shone brightly on the charming sidewalks of downtown Blueville, as Ceth retraced her steps back to the lot where she’d parked. It helped lift her spirits from the pit of worry. This really was a beautiful little town to explore.
Right before she reached the parking lot, she passed a small, shady park she hadn’t noticed the first time she’d gone by, so she paused to take in the magnolia trees and varied flowers blooming around a sidewalk and bench.
In one of the flower beds, there was a bronze plaque acknowledging the history of the people who originally called the land home.
The Osage Tribe had lived and died in the area hundreds of years before.
Ceth knew they’d been part of the many Native peoples across the South who had been forced to relocate to Oklahoma by the government.
Her parents had taken great care to ensure she grew up knowing indigenous history, particularly in Oklahoma and neighboring states, pointing out it was all part of her heritage.
Yet there’d always been something impersonal and academic about their lessons.
There wasn’t much space for her to fully express the aching sadness of hearing about the painful parts of the past, nor the untethered feel of having no real connection to the culture in the present.
Whenever she asked about potentially finding or meeting some of Sierra’s relatives or even tracking down her biological father, their answers had been vague and not particularly encouraging.
Sierra’s family of origin had been part of a poor community, Ceth’s parents would speculate, her father probably was too.
Her mom and dad would remind Ceth that she’d grown up with so many advantages.
Did she really want to make life any more complicated for these distant relations with her misplaced curiosity?
It wasn’t until she’d become an adult that Ceth recognized the condescension in her parents’ attitude. But she’d still never moved forward with researching her relatives. So the years had passed and that underlying untethered feeling had remained.
Ceth released a hoarse chuckle as she backed away from the plaque. One of the first and only places she’d ever felt comfortable and safe admitting to the full range of all those complicated feelings had been while being Krystal’s friend and roommate. Krystal created that safe space so naturally.
And Ceth had failed to reciprocate.
Was it any wonder Krystal didn’t care about discussing anything beyond whatever this casual thing was they were doing? It’s not like Ceth was the type of person Krystal would want more than that with. She was probably the last person on earth Krystal would even think about.
Heaving a sigh, Ceth shuffled out of the park, eyes turned downward toward her shoelaces. Then suddenly, she collided with someone on the sidewalk.
Dammit. Not again! I really need to learn to watch where I’m going.
As she looked up, the apology formulating in her brain stalled out at the realization she’d nearly knocked over Denise Farrington.
Ms. Farrington blinked at her in surprise, and Ceth finally got her brain working again. “Ms. Farrington! I’m sorry.”
Quickly righting herself, Ms. Farrington released a good-natured chuckle. “Nice body check. Do you play ice hockey?”
Ceth barked out a laugh. “No. I’m even less coordinated on skates, if you can imagine.”
Ms. Farrington’s smile widened. “Well, in any case, I’m glad I bumped into you…or vice versa. Do you have a minute to take a walk, Cethlenn?”
“Of course.” Ceth wasn’t about to point out that she had plenty of time since she’d completely skipped out on the day’s breakout sessions. “Please call me Ceth.”
“And I prefer Denise,” she replied before setting off down the sidewalk. Ceth hurried to fall in step with her.
“So you want an onsite job, hm? Have you thought about what area you’d be interested in? Accounting? Marketing?”
Ceth shoved the hand not carrying a bag in her pocket.
“Marketing seems like the best fit, given what I’ve been doing so far, but I’m open to exploring other departments.
Something I’ve noticed and appreciate about the FunDaze and Farrington culture is you seem really open to letting people learn on the go.
Not simply expecting everyone who walks in the door to have years of one kind of experience under their belts. ”
That brought a smirk to Denise’s lips. “Well, I came into this the typical nepobaby, with my dad expecting me to want to run everything and me with little relevant experience myself, but I was able to catch up and learn from the patient, competent people already at Farrington. So I want to spread that opportunity around when I can.”
“That makes sense.” Ceth knew Denise was the only child of the company’s founder, but she’d never gotten the impression she was entitled or spoiled. But hearing the genuine, self-deprecating way Denise talked about her role and history at the company made Ceth respect her even more.
“I’m definitely open to learning something new.
I know some people might think I don’t have a lot of clarity about my next step, but I do know I’d like it to be at FunDaze or Farrington because of the culture.
And if you find a place that feels comfortable and safe, you’re that much more willing to make it work. ”
“I agree. It’s good you’re keeping an open mind about the specifics,” Denise said as they stopped at a crosswalk and waited for traffic to pass.
“Regarding your work history, there’s something that caught my attention.
I understand you took some pretty intensive OSHA training before you came to work here.
Was that because you were interested in safety or quality work? ”
Ceth nearly stumbled off the curb. “That isn’t on my resume.”
“No. It’s not even on your professional online profile, which is interesting,” Denise commented. “But I did notice you’re contacts with Ed Menendez. I know him because we used one of his training programs, so I asked him about you. He said you were one of his most engaged students.”
They crossed the street, and Ceth used the distraction to buy herself time. Finally, she said, “I took the courses while I was job hunting, but it really wasn’t for a specific role I had in mind. It was important to me to have that safety knowledge no matter where I ended up.”
“That’s impressive.”
Ceth winced. She should leave it at that, so why was she giving into the urge to word vomit instead?
“I don’t know that I’d say that. It’s more of a reactionary thing.
I was careless and irresponsible when I was eighteen, and it led to my brother having a serious accident that will impact him for the rest of his life.
I can’t change that, but ever since then, I’ve wanted to be sure I never screw up like that again at home or at work.
So when I heard about the training, I took it. ”
Denise was silent for several moments during which Ceth’s skin prickled with a sense of her own awkwardness. Why had she decided to overshare? Spilling details of her stupid decisions to the big boss? Was she self-sabotaging?
At last, Denise cleared her throat. “Thank you for telling me that. I think most of us have things from our past we regret deeply. But you chose to do something positive with that regret. And it tells me you’d probably be good working in this area since it matters to you so much.
That’s why I was thinking we could probably use you in safety and operations for the new park and resort we’re building here. ”
“Really?” Ceth’s voice was a borderline squeak.
Denise nodded. “If you’re interested, we can figure out a date to transition you out of FunDaze, and I can get you looped in with the team that’s working on the new park.”
“That sounds amazing!” It occurred to Ceth this plan would mean relocating to Blueville at least temporarily, but she didn’t care. Surprise and excitement overrode the logistical concerns.
Although she didn’t know the whole story, Denise Farrington had heard some of Ceth’s history and decided she was worth taking a chance on for important work despite Ceth’s mistakes, or maybe even because of them.
As she and Denise finished their conversation and parted ways, Ceth couldn’t stop her thoughts from returning to Krystal now with a new glimmer of hope. Was it possible she really could find a way to be the safe person Krystal deserved even after all this time? Would Krystal want that?