Chapter 28
Love is worth it in the end, even though it often goes hand in hand with tears, compromise and the potential for heartache.
Extract from Joy’s journal
Tilly needed a walk to think clearly after her conversation with Màiri. She left the garden through the far gate and paced down the gravelled track to the loch and the grassy verge that overlooked the stony beach. She felt full to the brim with emotions. Maybe having a cry would do her good.
Not only had Joy pointed out the attraction in her journal, yet another person had seen through her friendship with Logan to the truth. The more time they’d spent together, the more questions were thrown up about their feelings, their history and their relationships with other people.
Tilly turned back towards the house. Beyond the fields with the horses and the sheep, the hills overlooking the wooded hamlet were drenched in sunshine. Soaring high against the pale blue sky was a sea eagle, the white of its wings glowing in the light.
Her phone ringing made her jump. Tearing her eyes away from the sky, she pulled it from her back pocket.
She paused at Stefan’s name. Considering they avoided talking to each other as much as possible, she assumed he would only be phoning if it was something serious. Or to do with the house. Her heart dropped at the thought of another problem to sort out.
The sea eagle dipped behind the hill. Tilly turned back to the loch and answered. ‘What’s up?’
‘Well, hello to you too.’ His northern drawl grated on her nerves.
‘Why would you ring unless it’s a problem? You’re still living in my house, remember.’
‘Oh ye of little faith.’ She imagined him shaking his head. ‘I’m phoning because of an opportunity that’s too good to pass up.’
‘I haven’t got time for this.’
‘Just please hear me out,’ Stefan stressed.
At Tilly’s pause, he ploughed on. ‘It’s a good opportunity.
A great opportunity, actually. There’s a run-down farmhouse in Cumbria that a friend’s given me a heads-up about.
The vendors need it off their hands asap, so they’re eager to sell.
It’s a bit of a wreck, so the potential is huge.
We have the opportunity to see it before it goes on the market.
A place like this will get snapped up. They want a quick sale and I have it on good authority that they’re willing to go below the asking price, but we have to move quickly. ’
‘You understand there is no “we” any longer?’
‘I’m talking about in business, Tilly. This is what we both do and are good at. We’ll ace this together.’
‘There’s a reason I don’t take on wrecks, Stefan.’
‘But you won’t be taking that on alone. The structural work will be down to me, then you do your thing. There’s landscaping to crack on with before tackling the inside. Once it’s renovated, we’ll be able to sell it for a huge profit.’
‘I’m on Mull sorting stuff out with Logan. Now is not the time.’ Annoyance flared at the way her ex was invading.
‘I understand that, but it’s something you’d have been interested in before, so I figured what the hell.
’ He didn’t need to say ‘before we broke up’ for her to understand.
‘You don’t talk to me, so I wasn’t sure how long you were planning on being away.
Better you know about this and turn me down than miss out on the opportunity entirely. ’
‘This isn’t something I can decide about over the phone.’
‘And you don’t have to. We can go see it.’
‘I can’t just leave.’
‘We can view it the day after tomorrow, so sleep on it. It doesn’t work without you.’ There was a pause. ‘Look, I’ll send you the details; once you see it, I’m certain you won’t want to pass it up.’
Stefan said goodbye and Tilly strode past the grass verge and down to the pebbly beach.
The stress from talking to him rolled off her as she crunched across the stones and switched her focus to the soothing lap of the water.
Her eyes snagged on the tree stump where she and Logan had sat many times for a heart-to-heart.
The wood had been bleached by sunshine and salt spray, but it was a good spot to sit and think, to pour their hearts out, to watch the sunset.
Tilly turned away. It was funny how an inanimate object could remind her so much of the past. And Stefan still had the ability to mess with her head by dangling an opportunity.
A message pinged. Tilly clicked on the link to the photos and details of the farmhouse.
She inwardly cursed as ideas started bouncing around her head, and the churning in her stomach was edging dangerously close to excited butterflies.
Stefan had played right into her passion for what she did.
The most annoying thing was that he was good at what he did too.
They hadn’t worked directly on a project together, but she was well aware that his work ethic was stronger than his faithfulness.
Perhaps it would be possible to work together as business partners.
Tilly turned off her phone. However good the opportunity, it wasn’t a good enough reason to cast things aside here. The slower pace of life on Mull was a tonic, and Logan needed her.
Gazing along the lane towards the house, she could make out Joy’s friends and neighbours in the garden enjoying the scenery and the sunny afternoon. Stuffing her phone into her trouser pocket, she paced back up the lane to join them. She had more important things to do than think about her ex.
* * *
By the time the shadows lengthened across the patio, people began to say their goodbyes.
Of course tears had been shed, but there’d been much laughter too.
The afternoon had been hopeful and uplifting.
Tilly was feeling melancholic because the day coming to an end signalled that their time on Mull would soon be over with the first guests arriving at the cottage the following weekend.
Ivor and Màiri were the last to leave, but Logan steered Ivor away from the garden gate.
‘Stay with us for a bit longer, Ivor. I wondered if you’d like to join us to scatter Joy’s ashes. I think she’d like you to be here, and I’d like that too.’
The permanent scowl on Ivor’s hard-lined face disintegrated and his tired eyes dampened. He reached out and gripped Logan’s hand. A sharp nod was his only response, but it was evident how moved he was by Logan’s gesture.
Màiri drew in a deep breath and tears lined her eyes too as she took her dad’s hand and together they walked the path through the meadow to Joy’s bench.
The early-evening sun filtered through the branches of the oak tree, sending patches of sunlight flickering over them.
The only sounds were the birds singing in the surrounding trees, which had taken over from the earlier chatter and laughter.
Logan took the box of ashes from beneath the bench and focused his attention on Ivor.
‘I know it’s never going to be the same without her, but I’ve made a few decisions over the last couple of days that are right for me, which I think is what Aunt Joy would have wanted.
This place is Joy. The reminders of my aunt are everywhere, in the house, the garden, the view.
She’d like her ashes scattered here, I’m sure, and I’d like that too because I want to keep this place.
I will have to rent it out to help pay for it, but at least that means I can come back as often as I can.
Joy is here and I can’t willingly sever that connection. ’
Tilly’s heart was in her mouth at Logan’s words and Ivor was crying.
Màiri held her dad tight as Logan scattered his aunt’s ashes and they were caught by the breeze.
Tilly rested her hand on the rough wood of the bench, imagining Joy sitting there on a summer’s day with the journal on her lap, gazing towards the loch where a white-tailed eagle soared.
The words in her journal had been written with love and passion, inspired by the beauty and peace surrounding her.
Logan had chosen the perfect spot and the dedication on the bench was apt: fly free, Joy, fly free.
* * *
Dirty plates and glasses cluttered the work surface, but most of the food had been demolished and Logan had encouraged the guests to take what was left home with them.
Tilly and Logan ignored the mess and grabbed a bottle of beer each instead.
They sat on Joy’s bench and raised a toast to her while watching the sunset.
‘Today was hard but a beautiful send-off.’ Logan knocked his bottle against hers. ‘It feels like she’s at peace now.’
‘She is,’ Tilly said softly.
Clouds lined with amber billowed behind the hills across the other side of the loch.
The sky was a hazy blue, which paled and merged to gold close to the retreating sun.
The landscape was bathed in a gilded light and Tilly could see why Joy had described it as the golden hour.
An owl hooted from somewhere in the trees.
The temperature had dropped and a chill breeze whispered around them.
‘Does it feel like you’ve got some closure?’ she asked.
‘Now that Aunt Joy’s at rest, yes. And having made a decision about the house.’
‘I’m glad you’re keeping it.’
‘I will if I can. It needs to pay for itself for me to continue living in Edinburgh and renting out here. It can’t be a burden.’
‘It won’t be.’ Tilly put her hand on his arm. ‘It’s your home, the place you’ve always returned to. You said it yourself, you’ve always been drawn back here.’
‘Because of Aunt Joy; let’s see if that changes. Since she died, the times I’ve been back have been filled with sorting stuff out. There’s not been time to think. Once that’s all done, I’ll be back here for the sake of being back. That’s when I’ll know how I’ll feel.’
Tilly tapped the bench. ‘She’ll always be here though, in some form or another. To be able to come back here is special, and you’ll make new memories.’