Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
A aron
“Wake up, what’s wrong with you?” Luc asks, shaking me awake.
“Leave me alone,” I groan.
“Bro, you’re going to make us all late for practice,” Luc complains.
“I’m sick. Go without me.”
“You sound perfectly fine,” he says.
“What’s going on here?” I don’t see him, but I know it’s Finn asking the question.
“He says he’s sick,” Luc states.
“Are you sick? Because we need you on the ice. There’s a big game tomorrow night,” he reminds.
Fuck. I don’t want to let my team down. I throw my covers off. I was up most of the night, trying to process that Briar is having my baby. I just feel so lost, but I couldn’t show her that last night because she’s the one with a baby inside her. I tried to be as supportive as possible.
“I’ll get ready. You guys can leave without me,” I tell them. They don’t need to be late on my account.
“Okay, we’re out,” Finn says, and he walks away.
Luc continues to watch me carefully. “But what is actually wrong with you?”
It’s messed up, but I haven’t told the guys about Mom. They are my best friends, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell them Mom is critically ill. Yet, for some reason, I shared the news with Briar and it felt like I took a load off by telling her. I had been keeping all this sadness inside me and now someone else knew. Although, she couldn’t understand what I was going through, she was just the distraction I needed.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I answer, scratching my balls as I make my way to the bathroom.
“Fine,” Luc huffs and walks away.
I hear the guys leaving the house. The quiet feels good because I go inside my head again. Briar isn’t just a distraction; she’s going to be the mother of my child. Thinking of the responsibility a child brings causes a wave of nausea to roll over me. I quickly brush my teeth and get dressed, then I head to the kitchen to see the guys left me some leftover protein shake in the blender. I pour it into a cup, grab my knapsack, and put my boots on at the door. I was going to call an Uber but instead I jog over to the Sports Complex. The cold winter air is refreshing. I think of a way to tell my parents about the baby. They are going to be so disappointed in me. The thought causes a gnawing guilt inside me. Briar seems protective of the baby. She’s calling him or her Nugget. I could tell by the way she was talking that she is going to protect and care for the baby like it is nobody’s business. It’s me who has to get my shit together.
I head into the arena and get ready for practice. As I’m leaving the locker room, Coach Bailey catches me. “Why are you so late, Murray?” Her tone is all business.
“I…I…” I collapse to the floor.
I hear Coach Bailey gasp and run to me. It feels like my legs have just given out from under me.
“Do I need to call 911?” she asks because I am coherent. I’ve just fallen to my knees and my breathing is ragged.
I shake my head. “No.”
She gets on her knees and looks at me. “What’s happening, Aaron?” She looks concerned. Maybe she should be. I feel like I’m dying.
“I don’t know. My heart is racing. It feels hard to breathe,” I tell her.
“Okay, I need you to take slow breaths,” she says. “Can you look at me?”
I nod and lift my head to look at her. “Did something happen?”
I nod.
“I want you to breathe in slowly and count in your head. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Now I want you to exhale very slowly, also on a count of five.” Coach Bailey goes through three rounds of breathing with me before I stand.
When I do, she stands and I watch her shoulders deflate. “Are you okay to come into my office?”
I nod and follow her to her office. I take off my helmet before sitting down.
“What’s going on?” she asks.
“My mom was diagnosed with ALS, it’s. . .”
“I know what it is,” she says. “I’m sorry to hear. How far has the disease progressed?”
“She’s getting the best care. So far her symptoms have been minimal,” I share. “My parents just went all over the world together over Christmas. . . There’s. . . a . . . something else too. . .” Our coaches always want us to be open about our private lives because if we are having mental health issues, then they want to get us the help we need. I’ve kept my mom’s diagnosis bottled up for too long, and it feels like news of the pregnancy pushed me over the edge.
“Okay. . . this is a safe space. We only want to provide you with support.”
“I know. . . I, uh . . .got someone pregnant,” I blurt then I start to cry.
“Okay.” She blows out a breath like she was expecting something much worse. “That can be very overwhelming, but we are here to support you. The campus has couples housing and daycares.”
“I don’t know how to tell my parents,” I admit to her. “Mom is sick. What do I say? This is such a mess. I really screwed up.”
“Are you in a relationship with the girl?” she asks.
I shake my head. “I like her, but she isn’t into having a relationship. She’s super independent.”
“I see.” She gives me a sad smile. “You’re a good guy, Aaron, and I’ve met your parents. They have always been very supportive of you. I think you just need to come out and tell them what’s going on. I think your mom may surprise you with her reaction. These things happen. It isn’t always a bad thing. I know you’re young and you have another year before you draft, but anything is possible.”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “Maybe you’re right. I just feel very overwhelmed. I’m just a kid myself.”
“I understand, but you’re also responsible and caring. You have great parents who could be a support system to you. You can also reach out to a family planning counselor through the Wellness Center.”
“She wants to have the baby,” I state.
“That’s not what I meant. They offer different services and can provide help to students,” she clarifies.
“She’s been calling the baby Nugget. That’s cute, right?” I can’t stop the smile forming on my lips.
Coach Bailey smiles too. “It is cute. I think you’re going to be just fine once this initial shock wears off.”
“Yeah,” I agree, feeling a little lighter.
“Do you think you can handle practice now?” she asks.
I nod. “Don’t want to let the team down.”
“Good. I’ll update Coach Heaton, so he doesn’t penalize you for being late,” she says. We both head out to the arena. I skate on to the ice and Coach Bailey goes to speak with Coach Heaton.
The guys all ask if everything is okay. I assure them it is, but I know I need to tell them sometime soon that Mom isn’t well. Briar wants to keep the pregnancy under wraps until she’s three months. We can try but I don’t know how realistic it will be. We’ll need to go to appointments together and see each other. Our friends will start asking questions.
I get through practice without a hitch. I spend the morning going to classes. I’m not completely focused but it’s the best I can do. By lunchtime I text Briar.
Me : Have you eaten lunch?
I watch the balls rolling.
Briar: No, I ate a late breakfast. Why?
Me: I just want to make sure you’re okay.
Briar : I woke up and puked before I even brushed my teeth. Then I went to the financial aid office to put in a request, and now I am at the Wellness Center getting ready to speak to a therapist. I don’t know if I’m okay.
I wince at her response. Whatever I am going through, this is so much harder for her. She has to carry the baby and pause her gymnastics career.
Me: What can I do?
Briar: Nothing, but thanks for asking.
I meet the guys in the food court on campus. We all sit around a table to eat. I’m not close with everyone on the team. It’s mostly my housemates.
When Finn asks me what went down this morning, I know I need to give them something.
“My mom was diagnosed with ALS,” I say to the guys. The burger I was eating falls out of my hand and my mouth feels like sandpaper. I hate saying those words.
“What does that mean, bro?” Luc asks, but he can tell it isn’t good because he looks so damn serious.
“It’s a degenerative disease of the motor system. It means that slowly my mom will grow weak as she withers away.”
The guys all have different reactions from hissing to saying “that’s tough.” Macklin stands and hugs me and tells me he’s sorry. Finn gets up and hugs me too, but it’s Luc’s reaction that really gets me when he starts to cry and tells me how sorry he is.
Truth is, I want to cry with him but I don’t allow myself to cry. It’s on the tip of my tongue to share the news about Briar, but I feel like I need to tell my parents first, and I promised Briar I’d keep our secret for now.
After lunch I am walking to class when my phone vibrates in my pocket. Mom’s name lights up the screen.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Hi, honey. Dad and I want to come watch your game in Ann Arbor tomorrow night. We thought maybe we could get some dinner together after. We miss you,” she says and my heart squeezes.
“I miss you guys too,” I reply, and my voice cracks at the end.
“Aaron, are you okay?” she asks, her mom radar in full gear.
“Yeah, fine. I’m looking forward to seeing you guys tomorrow,” I say to her.
“We can drive you back to campus after the game. I want us to spend time together,” she says.
“That sounds great,” I reply. I want to spend as much time with her as possible.
We end the call, and I head out to my afternoon classes. By four thirty I’m debating if I should text Briar again. How often should I be checking in with her?
I don’t want to be annoying, but I send her a quick text.
Me: Do you want to grab a bite to eat?
I see the balls rolling and I appreciate her fast responses. She isn’t playing games. I appreciate it.
Briar: I’m working at Black Jack’s. I start my shift in half an hour.
Me: Okay
I head back to the house to drop off my things. Most of the guys aren’t back yet. I head into the kitchen where Finn is cooking dinner.
“What’s up?” he asks.
Finn is a stand-up guy. He’s responsible and he is a leader in every aspect. A part of me feels like I need advice about Briar, but I don’t want to betray her trust. He’s also dating Charlie, who is one of Briar’s best friends.
“Not much,” I say.
“I’m making some salmon and salsa. I know it isn’t your favorite, but Charlie wanted to try it,” he explains.
“That’s cool. I’ll head over to Black Jack’s and grab a bite,” I tell him.
“If you need to talk, I’m here,” he offers as he cuts into a mango, probably for the salsa.
“Thanks, bro.” I leave the kitchen and grab my jacket. I call an Uber and head over to Black Jack’s.
I don’t see Briar right away. Levi spots me and asks me to sit in his section. “Bro, I want to sit in Briar’s section,” I tell him.
“Oh, are you still into her?” he asks quietly.
“Kind of,” I say since I don’t have something better. Truth is, I am into Briar, but I can’t think about that now with this whole pregnancy thing.
“Gotcha. I’ll take you to her section,” he offers.
“Thanks,” I say, and I walk over to sit at a high booth that is a two seater.
I spot Briar walking toward me from the kitchen area. When she walks up to the table, her smile falls.
“What are you doing here?” she asks.
“I came to eat dinner,” I tell her.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to come off. . .rude or anything,” she says.
“That’s okay,” I assure.
“What can I get you?”
“I’ll have the half rotisserie chicken with roasted potatoes and grilled vegetables,” I order.
“Anything to drink?”
“Sparkling water,” I say.
“Coming up.”
She walks away and it feels like the whole interaction was weird. I want to tell her she should come to my game tomorrow in Ann Arbor so she can meet my parents. Or maybe I should tell my parents on my own. Gah. I’m losing it.
She returns with my sparkling water.
“Thanks,” I say.
“Sure thing,” she replies.
“Um, I have a game tomorrow night in Ann Arbor. I thought maybe you could come. My parents are coming and. . . then we’re going for dinner. I thought they should meet you, but I haven’t told them anything yet, so I’m not sure. . .Do you want to come with me to tell them? Don’t feel pressured or anything.”
A small smile turns her lips. It brightens her face. She is so pretty. “I can come. I won’t have my car much longer, so I might as well use it while I have it.”
Right, she said something about her mom not paying her lease anymore.
“Great. I’ll arrange for a ticket and then we can meet after the game, and you can meet my parents,” I say awkwardly.
“Won’t it be weird if you introduce me to your parents at the arena? Finn, Macklin, and Cade will be there too,” she reminds.
“Right. I can give you the address for the restaurant then,” I correct.
“Cool.”
“Did you eat dinner?” I ask.
She frowns. “Aaron, I’m a big girl, I know how to take care of myself.”
She doesn’t answer my question though.
“I have other tables,” she says as the place starts filling up. She walks away and only comes back to serve me my order.
I watch her running all over the place. I know she hasn’t been feeling well, so it must be hard for her.
When she brings the bill, I leave her an extra hundred dollar bill. She doesn’t see it right away because I slide it into the vinyl folder she placed on the table.
I get up to leave but Briar walks up to me, holding the hundred dollar bill. “What is this?” she asks and she sounds pissed.
“A tip.” I shrug.
“This is a handout not a tip. I don’t need your help,” she says with sass.
“Okay, I did not mean it as a handout. I just figured you were eating for two now and I am responsible for the nugget in your stomach, so I wanted to help.”
She blows out an exasperated breath. “Please don’t talk about Nugget in public. But I am happy you like the name.” She gives me a smile that melts my insides.
“I thought it was cute but it’s temporary, right?” I ask.
She bursts into laughter. “Obviously.”
“Okay.” Now I blow out a breath. “I’ll text you the info for tomorrow and send you the ticket.”
“Thanks, Aaron,” she replies.
I nod and leave Black Jack’s, walking into the cold wintery night. Light snow is falling. I spot Briar’s SUV in the lot getting covered in snow. She is probably going to have to leave here late and walk out here by herself to clean her car off.
I send Levi a text, asking him if he knows when Briar’s shift ends. The jackass tells me to ask her myself. After some pleading, he says 11:00 p.m.
I head back to the house to get some work done, but I’m not efficient because I am thinking about all the ways my life is going to change. At a quarter to eleven, I ask Cade if I can borrow the snow brush for his car and I take an Uber back to Black Jack’s. As I predicted, her car is covered in snow, so I start to brush it off.
I don’t realize the time when the staff is leaving Black Jack’s.
Briar walks over to her car. “Aaron?” she asks with confusion. “What are you doing?”
“I didn’t want you to have to start cleaning the car after your shift,” I say.
“I really want to be mad at you for going overboard right now. I told you I can take care of myself, but it is sweet and considerate,” she admits, which is good because the first part of her sentence made my stomach drop out. I don’t want there to be conflict between us.
“It’s my pleasure, Briar.”
“You know I could do it myself?” she says.
“I know, but I don’t want you to have to.”
“Thanks, Aaron.”
She moves to get in the SUV and looks around. “How did you get here?”
“Uber.”
“Come, I’ll drop you off at your house,” she says.
She knows where I live because now we have both Charlie and Ruby living with us.
“Thanks.”
We get in the car and she starts to drive.
“So tomorrow, are you cool with telling my parents about the pregnancy with me?” I ask.
“Why do you want me there?” she asks.
“Because you’re the mom. You’re going to be a part of all of our lives. My parents will want to meet you,” I explain.
“My parents still haven’t gotten back to me,” she says.
“I’m sorry.” I don’t have something better.
“Mom and Dad are really great,” I tell her.
“But aren’t they going to be pissed about this whole situation?” she asks.
“Honestly, I don’t know what to expect. With Mom being sick, I’m worried as heck that I’m going to upset her. Dad and I have been trying to make everything as easy as possible for her.”
“And here you go on vacation and get a strange girl pregnant.”
“There’s nothing strange about you, beautiful. I’ve made that clear from day one,” I declare. We arrive on my driveway and Briar looks at me like she doesn’t know what to make of me. “I told you about Mom off the bat. I hadn’t even told my best friends and she’s been sick for a while.”
She looks away from me.
“Okay, well, thanks for the ride,” I say.
“Thanks for cleaning my car. Please don’t make a habit out of it.” She is smiling so I take it as a good sign.
“I’ll do my best, but I’m not making promises. Did you end up eating dinner?” I ask.
“No, but I need you to stop asking me if I ate too,” she pouts.
“Darling, I don’t know if I’m capable. Honesty is the best option right now, so I’m giving it to you straight. I will probably text you and ask you if you ate, and I’ll probably take care of your car as long as you have it, and I will probably send you Ubers when you don’t. It’s who I am, so it’s best if you don’t fight me on this. I’m not a fan of conflict.”
I realize I laid a lot out there for her and I wait for a reaction.
She swallows hard and then gives me a bashful smile. “I knew I was in trouble with you from day one. Now close that door because I’m exhausted and need to get home.”
“Have a good night, Briar.”
“You too.”
I close the car door and she drives off.
When I get inside, I pull up the Uber Eats app and order her a small pizza with a side salad and garlic bread. Then I head up to my room and take a shower.
When I get out, I see a message from Briar on my phone.
Briar: Thank you
I don’t know how she knew it was me who sent the food, but I’m happy she accepted it.
Me: What are you talking about?
Briar: Dinner, it really hit the spot.
Me: I’m glad. Good night, beautiful.