Chapter 44
44
Theo
“ I ’ve been thinking,” Cat says as she lets the pads of her fingers drift over my ribs. She’s obsessed with the tattoo. She can’t stop touching it and looking at it. She even licked it during our last round.
“What have you been thinking?” My eyes open to half slits so I can watch her, serious and thoughtful, soft and open for me.
A version of her that very few get to see.
“I’ve been thinking you should tell your business partners about the code.”
I still. “The algorithm, you mean.”
“Whatever you call it. Tell them.” She pushes up off my chest so she can look down at my face. “They’d be open to it.”
“This is what you think about in bed? Do I need to exhaust you further?” I wag my brows. I’m tired, but I could go again. Maybe get her above me this time.
She pokes at my chest. “This is important.”
I scrub a hand over my face. “What would I even tell them?” This is futile. Cat just doesn’t realize it yet .
“That you built something impressive and you think Kings Lane should use it.”
“It’s not that impressive. Anyone could do it.”
If that’s all you aspire to be—people—then sure.
“That’s not true,” Cat insists. “I might not know much about trading stocks, but I know what you did is not something everyone can do. And getting Kai involved—that was a stroke of genius. Imagine if you could have a mentoring program at Kings Lane.”
My chest pinches. Imagine. A bunch of kids, eager like Kai, bright-eyed and ready to learn. “I’d love that.”
“You would?”
“Oh yeah. Mentoring Kai is one of my favorite parts of my week. Kids bring a fresh perspective to everything. Even the mundane becomes interesting. You know last session he told me he thought he should make an app and drop out of college like Mark Zuckerberg? He hasn’t even gone to college yet.”
Cat laughs. “You should start the program. Since you love it.”
I take in Cat’s fierce expression, her unyielding stare, her messy hair, and her swollen lips. So fucking sexy, especially when all that intensity is trained on me. I still. We don’t do this at Kings Lane. We’re in business to make money, not run after-school care. Even if I see it as so much more than that.
“You think I should tell my business partners that I want to do charity work with my time at Kings Lane?”
“I think you should start a new division and run it yourself. Do what you enjoy and do the mentoring on the side. You wanted a legacy, right? This could be your legacy.”
My heart gives a hard kick at the thought. That would be a pretty fucking great legacy. But Jonah and Miles, this isn’t something they’re interested in. I’m not the ideas guy. I’m the investor guy, the pretty face. And with how I grew up, I need to be better than ever to earn respect, not running a charity program.
“I don’t think they’d be interested,” I say finally.
“Why the hell not?”
“Cat.” I shut my eyes briefly. “I’m not as good as Miles and Jonah. I need to be making money and bringing in business, not running a charity.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Her eyes flash.
“Come on. You know I don’t have as much experience. I haven’t done anything important. I went to school later than them. I came on later. I’ll always be playing catch-up.” Each word drips acid into my chest. But I have to make Cat understand. “I need to show the world that I deserve to be there with them. Not because I’m good-looking or charming, but because I’m worthy.”
Her face softens. I look away. “I just want you to understand why this deal is so important to me. And why I can’t run a charity. It’s a good idea, really.” I squeeze her hand where it rests next to me on the bed. “But maybe in ten years. When I’ve proven myself.”
She tilts her head. “You can do it at Peterson International, then.”
“What?” Cat doesn’t want me involved in Peterson International. She’s been adamant about being in control.
“Do it with me. Screw Miles and Jonah if they’re not interested.”
“You’d do that?”
She frowns. “It’s not like I’m doing you a favor. This is good PR. But yes. I think it’s a great idea. I believe in you.”
My chest expands.
“I don’t know.” This is a huge risk. Something that could tank my career forever.
“Tell them, Theo. You made something, and I’m not going to let you hide it away because you think it’s stupid.”
“You’re not going to let me?” I smile up at her. “What are you going to do about it, princess?”
“I can make you.” She narrows her eyes on me. “I can be very convincing.”
“You’re going to bully me?” The thought makes me want to laugh, but she’s going to be irritated if I do.
“Into sharing your accomplishments? Yes.”
I tug her down so she’s lying on my chest again. “Tell me more.”
“You’re mocking me,” she grumbles, but I can feel her smiling against my skin, that secret smile she gives only to me .
“I like you,” I tell her. “I like you defending me.”
“Well, you won’t do it for yourself.”
“If I don’t tell them, what are you going to do about it?” I’m going to tell them, because Cat wants me to, but I want to needle her.
“No sex until you tell them,” she says mulishly.
“You think you can go without?” I skim a hand down her back, making her arch against me.
“Totally,” she says, but she doesn’t sound sure.
I put my lips to her ear. “I can be very convincing.” She shivers. I bite at the top of her ear. “But I’ll tell them. For you.”
“You will?” She pulls back and reaches up to press her lips to mine. “Good,” she says against my mouth. I slip my tongue between her lips, stroking and sliding, trying to consume her, to show her how special she is.
“You’re the only one who’s ever forced me to do things like that, you know.” I whisper the words.
“I hate that,” she whispers back. “You deserve more.”
“People don’t see me that way.” I kiss her again.
“What way?”
“Smart.” I cup her jaw. “Worthy.”
“I do,” she says simply. “You’re impressive to me.” She presses her hand over my heart. “Confident when I’m not, charming and smart, infinitely capable.” Her mouth curves up.
I bend to press a kiss to the freckle on the side of her lips. “You make me sound like a superhero.”
“You make me feel safe. When I’m with you, I feel like nothing can go wrong.”
I want to respond, but my throat is tight, and my heart feels too big for my chest. So instead, I crush her to me and claim her mouth. I kiss her until she can’t breathe, until my chest is heaving and her eyes are bright.
How am I supposed to let her go?
This marriage has an expiration date, but I want to keep her forever.
Cat is getting ready for dinner with Lane and Callie later. I watch from the bed while she twists her hair up and applies her makeup. She catches my eye in the mirror and smiles.
“No smiling,” I say.
Her grin broadens.
“Cat, please. You told me to keep my hands to myself. How am I supposed to do that if you smile?”
She winks at me, and I groan, but look away. Keeping my hands off her is impossible. I already had her in the shower and on the couch, but I’m half-hard just watching her get ready.
“What are you going to do while I’m gone?”
“Jonah invited us to dinner in his suite. He got a private chef.” I shrug. “Nothing big.”
Her brows go up. “A private chef. Nothing big.”
“I’d rather stay here with you,” I say. This is our last night here, and this bubble is going to burst. We’ll go back to New York, and the clock will start ticking down to the end of our time together.
Her eyes soften. “I know.”
She kisses me goodbye later, and I fight to keep myself from begging her to stay. I head up to Jonah’s suite early, helping myself to a glass of wine as he finishes an email from the terrace. The chef is in the kitchen, preparing fish and grilled vegetables. I’m admiring the view of Monaco and trying not to think about my wife when Lorenzo calls.
“Ciao, Theo,” he says in his usual way, but there’s an undercurrent of tension in the way he says my name. I straighten and look at Jonah, who’s watching me with a cocked head.
We exchange pleasantries in Italian, but I’m only half listening. Miles appears in the doorway, a glass of wine in his hand. I lift a shoulder at my business partners. Lorenzo isn’t getting to the point.
Lorenzo sighs and says, “I have some bad news, I’m afraid.”
My gut clenches. “ Cattive notizie ,” I repeat for my business partners’ benefit. Bad news. They both straighten and look at me. Jonah is tapping on his phone, presumably translating our conversation, and he must be successful, because his eyes jerk to mine.
“The deal is off.”
I shut my eyes briefly. Fuck.
“Why?” I ask, my voice coming out guttural. I fucking knew it. Lorenzo has been jerking our chain.
“I don’t think the partnership is right for us,” he says smoothly. He’s trying to get out of this with the least amount of damage. I get it.
“What is that supposed to mean? Non avere peli sulla lingua .” I’m telling him not to mince words because I deserve to know exactly why the deal I’ve spent months on, that I got fucking married for, isn’t going anywhere.
He sighs. “Theo, please. Don’t make this worse than it has to be. We found better partners for the building projects.” He names a European investment firm that is smaller than ours but more tenured. Their founder is forty, serious, and blue-blooded. Of course.
Lorenzo and I hang up, and I slump against the wall. Everything I’ve worked for. Gone. My hands shake as I set the phone on the table. I’m not sure how Jonah and Miles are going to react to this.
“It’s over.” I lift my head to meet my business partners’ steady gazes. “The deal is off. They found someone else. Those blue-blood pricks at Assurance and Vie.”
Jonah bites out a blistering curse. “I fucking knew they were sniffing around.”
They sensed weakness, and they took it. Me. The weakness is me. Jonah and Miles are better off without me. “I think I should go.”
“Go?” Miles asks. “Go where? We’re having dinner.”
The chef chooses that moment to step outside and present a platter of oysters and little plates of caviar on blini. I look at the food, my stomach turning. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve any of this.
“You don’t need me.” I look at Miles. He’ll understand. “I lost the deal. I can’t sit here and eat with you when I do nothing but fuck up.”
“Sit,” Jonah bites out. “It’s a business deal, not heart surgery.”
I sit, gulping my wine and not touching the food. “You really want to leave?” Miles asks .
“Don’t you think I should?”
“Because you lost a deal?” He sits back in his chair, scanning my face with his uncanny gray eyes. “I’ve lost hundreds.”
“Yeah, but you’ve also done so much. I haven’t.”
“Why would you say that? We don’t think that about you. No one’s keeping score.”
Fuck. Miles looks hurt.
“You guys could do this without me. All I do is drink and party, and I’m trying to clean up my act, but it’s not enough.” I’m not enough.
“You’re forgetting all of my own scandals,” Jonah says.
“And mine,” Miles adds. “Remember when I was all over the papers, and I had to fake date Lane?”
“This is different. I’m a liability. We lost a deal a few months ago because of me.”
Miles shakes his head. “You’re not a liability. We couldn’t run our business without you. You’re our partner. It’s not the same with just Jonah and me.”
“There would certainly be fewer scandals at the Christmas parties,” Jonah grumbles.
Miles grins. “Fewer naughty jokes during our speeches. Less laughing. Smaller bonuses too. You were the one who told accounting to give everyone extra last year, remember? And you changed our paternity leave policy to be primary caregiver leave.”
“George’s idea,” I say faintly. “They’re very convincing.”
“Retention has been up since you joined,” Jonah says as he takes an oyster.
“You’re the face of all our investor conferences. People look up to you,” Miles adds.
“That, yeah.” I swallow away the dryness of my mouth. “I’m just a pretty face. Anyone could do that.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” Miles says.
“I certainly couldn’t,” Jonah replies. “Remember when that investor started digging into my background? And you managed to tell him to politely fuck off, then got an additional fifty million dollars from him in investment? ”
“I do,” I say slowly. “But that doesn’t make up for this . You were counting on me. I let you down.” How can I make them understand that I’m not worth what they are?
Jonah sets his glass down on the table. “If you want to leave, then leave. But Kings Lane is done too.”
Miles and I stare at him. “What did you say?”
“You heard me,” Jonah retorts. “I won’t do it without you. Either you’re in, or we’re done. We brought you on because you were the missing piece. You’re the one who understands how to run an actual business and make our employees happy, make them want to stay and work for us and do their best. You’re the one who keeps things exciting and fun and makes investors want to give us their money. You made us start recycling and put bike racks and showers in the basement for bike commuters. You told us about the building sale, for fuck’s sake. I don’t understand where this is coming from. If you want out, fine. But I don’t want to be part of a Kings Lane that doesn’t include all three of us.”
I stare mutely at him, my throat working. Jonah doesn’t have outbursts. He’s calculated and controlled.
“I agree,” Miles says quietly. “If you want out, I’m out too. We’re three partners. Not two. We’ve always worked better together.” He gives me a sad smile.
“I’m not as smart as you are—”
“For god’s sake.” Jonah shoves a hand through his hair. “You turned two thousand dollars into twenty million while you were in college.”
“Trading stocks,” I say. “That’s not what we do. Anyone can do that.”
“Well, I’d sure as hell be doing it if I were as good as you are,” Jonah says, spreading his arms wide.
“Too bad you’re shit at it,” Miles says. “You don’t have ice in your veins like Theo does.”
“You tried?” My brows go up.
“I tried everything I could to make money when I was younger,” Jonah says. “Beating the crap out of people for cash was easier than trading stock.”
Miles snorts. “I’d rather be punched in the face than try to trade. I don’t have the stomach for it. But you do. I’ve always seen that in you, Theo. Your ability to read people, combined with your head for numbers and your fearlessness.” He blows out a breath and shakes his head. “It’s rare.”
My chest warms.
If that’s all you aspire to be—people—then sure. But the words don’t hold the weight they used to.
Miles looks at me, frank and hiding nothing, like he always does. He sees everything and is always pushing us to be better. Jonah glares at me, the fierceness of his black gaze and his anger at my self-doubt better than any words of affirmation.
“Stay,” Miles says. He reaches over to clap me on the shoulder. “We need you.”
“You do?” I can’t believe it.
“We do.” Jonah leans forward. “You’re not fucking quitting.”
The blood rushes in my ears. I’ve never felt like this before. If someone pushed me off the terrace right now, I might sink like a stone, but also, I might fly .
“I’ll stay,” I say. “But there’s something I want to do if I stay.”
Miles’s brows go up. “I’m all ears.”
Jonah gives me a nod. “Good.”
I lean forward, looking at my business partners in turn. My friends. “What if we ran a mentorship program?”