Chapter 43
43
Cat
I wander back to our suite later, open champagne in hand, and find Theo on the couch, sipping a whiskey, his laptop balanced on his lap.
I pause in the doorway. His brow furrows as he reviews something. His fingers dance over the keys. And then he lifts his head, sees me, and gives me a heart-stoppingly handsome grin.
“How was girls’ night?”
“How do you know about that?”
He sets his laptop aside and pats the plush couch. “Jonah and Miles were here. Miles was pissed about being kicked out of his room.”
I laugh and settle onto the seat next to him, turning to the side so I can admire his strong profile and his tousled hair. “I think I interrupted something.”
Theo snorts. “Miles and Lane are always going at it. I’m pretty sure he had phone sex with her in the office last week.”
My mouth parts in shock, and Theo barks a laugh. “Have I shocked you? Phone sex can be fun. Maybe add that to your list. ”
“Do you think I’m fun?” The words tumble out, and I cringe. A drunk mind speaks a sober heart, I guess, though I wish mine could be a little more circumspect. I push off the couch. I need another drink for this.
“What do you mean?” Theo looks wary. And confused.
I busy myself pouring champagne into an empty glass and don’t look at Theo.
“Cat. Look at me. What is that supposed to mean? Is this about the list? Because you don’t need the list to be fun. I like you just the way you are.”
The words lance into me. “But you didn’t. Before.”
“What does that mean? Before when?” He looks puzzled. More confirmation that before isn’t meaningful for him the way it is for me.
“You left.” I drain the champagne in one gulp and pour another.
Theo stands. I take another hearty swallow of alcohol. I need it to chase away the memories of that night.
“Tell me,” he says, advancing on me. He’s prowling toward me like a predator. Intent and loose. Deceptively casual.
“You left,” I say again.
He plucks the glass from my hand and sets on the table. “I left,” he agrees. “Are you mad? I thought you didn’t care.”
“You’re joking.” The words come out on gasped breath. “Do you know how obsessed with you I was? I circled the days you were coming home on my calendar. I counted down. I curled my hair on your first day back that summer after your sophomore year. June thirteenth. I still remember the day.” I put my hands on his chest like I’m going to push him away, but my traitorous fingers curl into his soft shirt. Theo is searching my face like he can’t believe what I’m saying.
“You kissed me, Theo. You kissed me, and all my dreams came true. I was so stupid. I knew I didn’t have a chance with you. You were laughably far out of my league. But I didn’t care.” The words are tumbling out now, choking me, filling my lungs, setting my heart to thumping. “You begged me to come to that party. Do you remember?”
I don’t need his response. The way his eyes glitter tells me he remembers .
“I was so excited,” I say bitterly. “I got all dressed up, made up an outlandish excuse, and escaped. I was late, but I thought you’d wait for me. But you didn’t. I walked into that bar and saw her. ” The memory of that day is as raw as it was when it happened. I can still feel the sting of jealousy, the way it made my stomach roll, the way it made my eyes prickle, the rush of blood to my face.
Theo is silent, his jaw working.
“I was devastated. And worst of all, it was my fault. You never promised me anything. You kissed me once. We were kids. A kiss meant nothing. Nothing. Except I—” I clamp my lips shut before the words can escape. I’m not telling him this. He doesn’t deserve it.
“You what?”
I shake my head. “It’s in the past. I hate that I still care so much about it.” The words are a mere whisper.
“Okay, princess.” Theo’s eyes are soft as he says the words. “I’ll tell you a story. But I want you to sit with me first.”
He tugs me toward the couch and settles me against his side. He’s firm and warm, soft in his T-shirt and sweats, open and honest. “Once upon a time,” he starts.
I laugh, despite the longing and sadness filling me. That’s Theo. Able to create humor under the worst of circumstances.
“No laughing. Once upon a time, there was a boy who was desperately infatuated with a girl he could never have.”
My breath stutters.
“No interrupting,” he admonishes. “This girl was everything he’d ever dreamed of. Beautiful, fun, smart. Brave. Braver than he ever realized. But the girl’s parents would never have approved of them together. So the boy waited. He waited until he became a man. He grew tall and strong, but it wasn’t enough. He needed money and power too, so he could prove himself to the girl. He should have waited longer, but he was impatient.” Theo’s lips lift in that wicked smile. “Because the girl grew too. Into a woman. A dangerous, headstrong woman with a body that tempted the man in ways the boy couldn’t have imagined. And one night, in the middle of a rainstorm, the man couldn’t resist. He kissed the woman, and it was the best kiss of his life.”
The words send me soaring to dangerous heights. I’m Icarus before a fall, and my heart tells me not to get my hopes up.
“But they weren’t alone that night. The woman’s father saw them, and he would do anything to keep them apart.”
“What?” Instead of soaring, I’m tumbling, confused and hurt. “My father saw?”
“Wait until I’m done, princess.” Theo shuts his eyes briefly. “I hate this part,” he says. When he looks at me again, his eyes are filled with sadness. “Your dad took me aside the next day. The morning of that party, in fact. He told me that you didn’t really want me. That you’d come to your senses. He told me—” Theo’s voice cracks a little. “He told me that you’d complained to him that I made advances.”
“And you believed him?” I can’t believe this. “This is what you thought of me for all those years?”
“Not exactly,” he says. He spears a hand through his hair. “I didn’t know what to think. I wasn’t sure of you. We’d grown apart and there was tension between us. We were young. I’d been away, and I didn’t know if maybe you had a boyfriend or you were just messing around with me. Lots of women wanted me for just my body, even at twenty-one. And while I thought you might be different, I didn’t know. Maybe you were just telling your father this so he wouldn’t punish you. Maybe you regretted the kiss and you wanted me gone, but you were too scared to do it yourself.”
I shove at Theo’s arm where it bands me to him. “Get off me.”
“I’m not done.” His arm tightens around me. “That’s not why I left. I would have stayed. I would have talked to you. Until he told me that he would ruin you if I didn’t leave.”
“What?” My words are a mere whisper.
Theo blows out a breath. “He gave me twenty-four hours. He told me at the end of twenty-four hours, he would start making your life hell.”
I can’t believe this. The blood is rushing in my ears, so loud I can barely hear Theo’s words. “You left for me? ”
He nods, mouth twisting. “I had to ensure that you wouldn’t ask questions. I didn’t want you to know that your father was willing to hurt you. So I told that girl to sit on my lap long enough to make sure you saw. I didn’t look at you that night, and I didn’t look back.” His face is lined with sadness. “I did what I thought I needed to do. I’m sorry, Cat. I’m so, so sorry.”
“I can’t—” My breaths are heaving. “I can’t believe this. I thought you hated me. I thought you were toying with me. I told myself I’d never be good enough for you.” I never imagined this. This devotion. This protectiveness. I didn’t deserve it from Theo, but he gave it anyway.
“I’m sorry.” He presses his head back on the couch. “I’m sorry.”
“You left to protect me,” I whisper.
“I did.” His throat works. “Do you hate me? Now that you know the truth?” He looks at me, regret written on his face.
“No. Never.” Far from it. The truth is far worse. I’m going to fall in love with Theo again, and there is no way I can keep him.
“I was a younger, stupider man.” His jaw works. “I’d go toe to toe with him today. I would. I swear to you.”
“I know you would. It’s okay,” I tell him.
“Is it?” He looks lost.
“Yes.” I press my face to his chest, breathing in his masculine scent, reveling in the way he’s firm beneath me. “And I’m sorry he forced you out of your home. You must have been scared.”
Theo relaxes under me. “I’d planned to leave anyway. That was going to be my last summer there. Forcing me out was a matter of months, really.”
“Still.” I turn my cheek so it rests over his heart. “He’s the worst person ever. And you were caught in the fallout.” Just like he is now. A better woman would make him divorce her.
Theo makes a humming sound beneath my cheek. “Want to go to bed?”
“With you?” I lift my head to look at him.
“I’m your husband, aren’t I?”
My throat tightens. For ten more months .
He gives me that panty-melting smile. “Come to bed with me, baby.”
This is a bad idea. If I pretend with him for ten more months, I’m fucked. If I let him take me to bed now, it’s just the beginning. I’ll sleep in his strong arms, and I’ll get addicted to having him around to solve my problems.
My heart might know this is a bad idea, but when Theo tugs me toward the bedroom, that wicked smile on his face, I can’t resist.
For once, I sleep straight through until sunrise, though I still wake before Theo. He’s sprawled on his back, one arm still curled around me, like he’s scared I’ll escape. The light is dim, but there’s one slice of golden sunlight where the curtains aren’t quite closed. It gilds him, glinting off the sparse hair on his chest, caressing his tan skin. The tattoo is washed in light. Before I know what I’m doing, I’m running a finger over it, tracing along his collarbone, then the edge of his pectoral, firm and smooth, then down his stomach. The ridges of muscle there were made for a woman’s hand to touch, especially the slab of muscle at his flank, right where a waistband would be. If he were wearing pants.
But he’s not, and the sheet pools temptingly around his waist, making me want to uncover what’s beneath it. My hand lingers, rubbing circles lightly above where I know he’s hot and probably hard, if the other morning is anything to go by.
His warm fingers grasp my wrist. “Keep going,” he says, sleep-rough and deliciously low. His eyes are still shut, and I can almost imagine he’s dreaming—a Greek god spread in his bed and mine for the taking.
Desire sends shivers through my stomach. I let my hand drift down. Smooth skin, then crisp hairs, then Theo. Hard already and deliciously thick. He groans as I grasp him. The sound makes me want to straddle him and see what other sounds I can get him to make. Can I make him fall apart like he did on the boat? I want him wild and out of control for me, just like I was for him.
“What item on the list is it this time?” he asks.
I want the list, and yet, I don’t. Because once everything is checked off, Theo and I are done. So instead of naming a list item, I just say, “Please, Theo.”
The words are barely out of my mouth before he surges up. He presses a hard kiss to my mouth before he forces my legs wide and bands an arm around my back.
“Ride my face, baby.”
I blush and bite my lip. “Isn’t that—”
“Fucking amazing? Yes. As good for me as it is for you? Yes.” His eyes light with amusement. “Do you need me to say please?”
I squirm, and he tightens his arm. I didn’t put this on the list because I thought men hated it. The thought makes me feel awkward and itchy. “I really don’t—”
“Cat,” he growls. “Please ride my face, princess.”
He tugs me up until my knees are on his pillow, and I’m exposed and at his mercy. He grips my thighs and buries his tongue between my legs. The first touch makes me arch against him. He digs his fingers into my flesh, and he licks me again, with the flat of his tongue, like I’m delicious and he’s starving. I sob out an embarrassing sound.
“Stop squirming and take it,” he growls. The words only ratchet me higher, the command in them making me go boneless and press my palms to the wall.
“Good girl,” he murmurs. Another long, slow lick. I tremble above him and he rumbles his approval. “Give me a bit more.”
He pushes me down on his face and swirls his tongue just right. Hot and wet and clever, so clever with the way he uses the flat to get me going before switching to the tip. He eats me in little flicks that make pleasure zip up my spine. His sounds of enjoyment make my stomach tight.
He brings me to the edge and backs off, laughing softly when I protest. I’m going to combust, and I’m so close. If only he would —my thoughts fizzle out as he licks me again, torturously slow.
“Theo,” I gasp. “Please.” I thread my fingers through his soft hair, urging him to let me finish, to end this torment.
“As you command, princess.”
I expect him to let me come, but he lifts me off of him, and lays me on my back. I watch him with half-lidded eyes. He is magnificent. His cock pushes against me, thick and insistent. He’s serious, so serious about this. He pushes in, watching my face.
“Please, more.” I grab at his arms, his hands, anything I can reach to urge him on.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” He’s only inside me by an inch, but I can already feel the delicious stretch, my body accommodating his. “Just the tip for now,” he grits out, pulling back and thrusting shallowly in again.
I huff a breath as he fills me.
“More, baby. Can you take it?”
I nod, at a loss for words as he gives me more. Another inch, the stretch almost too much. Until he stops and clenches his jaw, holding himself still. His neck is corded, his hands in fists.
“Theo. I’m not made of glass. I want it hard.”
He lifts his gaze to mine. “You want it hard?” He pulls back out. “Flip.”
I flip, ass in the air, trembling as he grabs handfuls. He’s not gentle now. He’s greedy and demanding. “I’ll give you hard,” he mutters. He sounds frustrated and full of longing, and I’m right there with him. His cock is pushing in again, but this time, there’s no patience. Good.
“More,” I pant.
He seats himself in one slick thrust, and I sob a breath. It’s perfect.
“That enough?” He rolls his hips, leaving me wanting and then filling me again.
“I want everything.”
He rasps a sound of surprise, and then he grabs my wrists and wrenches my arms behind my back. It’s just on the edge of pain, and I shudder. This is exactly what I pictured him doing all those weeks ago—restraining me, obliterating me. “You want to see what I like? You want everything? I’ll fuck you so hard you can’t walk tomorrow. You can put that on your list. Do you want that?” He plants one hand on my ass and rolls his hips again. Sparks light inside me, kindling into a blaze.
“Give it all to me,” I grit out. I’m not sure when this became a competition, but it has. “I can take it. As hard as you want. Whatever you want. Take me. Make me yours, Theo, please.”
His curse is blistering, and I think, for a moment, that he won’t do it, but then he moves. Hard, heavy, thick. My spine is bowed and my arms are immobile, and it’s nearly too much. Somehow he knows how to keep it right on the edge of perfect and overwhelming. My stomach is heavy with need, my pulse pounding. I try to adjust, to get him where I want him, but he growls and fucks me harder. That’s what pushes me over the edge.
Theo, using me for what he wants.
Theo, utterly gone for me.
I cry out and come, harder than I ever have before, trembling beneath him.
“Fuck, princess. I feel you clenching around me. That’s it. Come on my cock.” The dirty words prolong my orgasm, draw it out longer and longer, as he fucks me into the mattress. It’s too much. The pleasure is nearly pain. “Theo, please,” I beg.
“I’m there,” he groans. His sound of pleasure is low and desperate, like he’s coming before he wanted to. He stills inside me, and I swear I can feel his cock swelling and jerking. He lets go of my wrists, drops his forehead to my back. He’s trembling too. Our breaths are ragged, him breathing out as I breathe him in.
“Fuck, Cat.”
He slips out of me, and still, he doesn’t move, bracketing me with his arms, holding me as I float. His lips move down my spine, stopping when he reaches the top of my butt. His fingers stroke between my legs.
“You’re dripping with me, princess. ”
“You like it,” I say sleepily. The world is hazy and golden.
“I love it,” he growls. “I’d keep you like this all day.”
I wiggle onto my side so I can watch him watch me. Masculine pride suffuses his face.
“In your bed?” I ask.
“That, yes.” His mouth kicks up. “But wet with me. Knowing I marked you. Knowing you’re out in the world talking to other men, but your pussy is slick with me. I’ve never slept with anyone bare before. Just you.” His fingers brush against my thigh, slick through his come, push back inside me. I’m sore but I let out a little moan of pleasure at the feel.
“Fuck, that’s hot.” He pushes more inside me, his lids dropping as he watches me.
My breaths stutter. My hips arch of their own accord.
“Does that make me a caveman?” He laughs.
“It is hot,” I whisper. It’s so hot. A reminder of how Theo fell apart for me, of how he does this just with me.
“It is, isn’t it?” He shrugs, still grinning. “I’m not going to question it.”
“Okay.” I smile at him. “So I’ll stay like that.”
His cock jerks. We both look to where he’s already hardening. “Turns out I like that too,” he says with a laugh. His lips meet my neck, nibbling gently at my skin. “Again, baby. I need you again.” He grinds against me, and I gasp.
“Again,” I say.