Chapter 51
51
Cat
“ T heo. What the hell is that?”
We’re in his garage later that week, and he’s uncovering something that looks like a cross between a motorcycle and a helicopter with flat propellers.
“A hoverbike,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“It looks like something off the set of a Star Wars movie.”
He laughs and pulls the covering all the way off. “This baby right here is a U.S. Army issue prototype.” He pats the bike, grinning at me. “Want to try her out?”
“Is it safe?” It doesn’t look safe.
“I believe the U.S. Army has called it relatively safe ,” he says cheerfully.
“A ringing endorsement.”
He snorts a laugh and moves to grab helmets from the shelf. “I’m not aware of any others that are in civilian hands. You should grab the bull by the horns. Take a ride with me, baby.” He wags his brows.
“You’re an idiot, and you’re going to get yourself killed,” I mutter, but my insides are swelling with happiness. Theo puts my helmet on, checks the straps, and presses a kiss to my mouth. I sway into him and chase his lips with my own while he laughs.
“Let’s go.” He buckles his own helmet on and helps me onto the bike. It’s not particularly comfortable, and I wiggle on the hard metal seat.
Theo climbs on in front of me and starts it up. The electric motor is completely silent. My stomach lurches as we lift off the garage floor, and I clutch at Theo.
“Weird, right?” he asks. “We’ll just go around the block. This is really illegal.”
“Really illegal. My favorite.”
“It’s on the list, at least. This is crossing off three items by my count.”
“Maybe we can even have sex on it. For efficiency,” I say. I’m smiling where my face is pressed to his back. I feel like a balloon filled to bursting.
Theo barks a laugh as we glide out of the garage, just a few feet above the ground.
He takes it slow as the bike dips and rolls. “You can see why it’s just a prototype,” he says. “It’s not totally stable, and it’s pretty hard to control.” He wrestles it around a curve, body taut with strain. “Want to go faster?”
“Just a little,” I say.
“I won’t let you fall, Cat. I promise.”
I lick my lips. “Okay. Sure, faster.”
“Let’s go, baby.” Theo twists the handlebar, and the bike leaps forward. Twenty, thirty, then forty miles an hour as we whip down the road, past the ocean. I clutch his waist as he laughs into the wind. The sensation is like nothing I’ve ever felt—totally weightless, but close to the ground. Like dreams I used to have about flying.
“This is crazy,” I say.
“I know,” he responds. “That feeling of weightlessness is wonderful. And terrifying.” He brings us to a stop back at the house. “I’m always grateful to put my feet back on the ground.” We set down gently, and he helps me off.
“Not too wild for you?” He smiles down at me, soft and pleased.
“Definitely not.” I smile back, my heart swelling. “How much more do we have on the list?”
“I want to add something.” He puts our helmets on the shelf. “What do you want most in the world, Cat?”
You, I think. It’s always been you.
But instead, I say, “Freedom. To be my own person, to blaze my own trail. It’s why I admire you so much.”
He nods, looking serious and thoughtful. “Okay. I can work on that. But in the meantime, I have a surprise.”
I follow him into the house, through the living room and the back hallway, the solarium and the dining room, until we reach the end of the house. We’re right on the edge of the cliff here. Theo pauses in front of a door. “It’s not freedom,” he says. “But I think it’s pretty close.”
He pushes it open, and I suck in a breath. The room is all windows and perched on the cliff in such a way that it’s surrounded by sky and sea on all sides. Light streams in. There are cushioned window seats lining the walls and another gas fireplace. A mug of coffee on the side table and books. Lots and lots of books.
My heart thrums with joy at all the books. Classics from my childhood, many much older.
“May I?” I ask. I’m nervous all of a sudden.
“Go ahead. It’s all yours.”
“Mine?” I stroke my fingers over the spines. Black Beauty is here, my favorite book from when I was little. The Babysitter’s Club . Pride and Prejudice . The classics I read for my English literature major in college. A series of romance novels Lane recommended to me that I’ve been devouring.
“It’s all here,” Theo says quietly. “Every book I ever saw you read. You were always lost in another world as a kid, and even after. The summer reading you did to get ahead for class.” He points at a shelf of classics. “The ones you never let me see.” He points at the shelf with The Princess Diaries and a bunch of teenage books with kissing in them.
“I was mortified you might discover I liked kissing,” I say.
He grins. “Thought I might uncover your secrets?”
“You did anyway,” I say.
“Yeah. I did.” He looks pleased with himself. “You like it?”
“I love it,” I say hoarsely. “But why?”
“Because there were a lot of things on the list you could do for yourself, but I wanted to do something for you. This is one thing I want you to take.”
“What’s that?” I don’t understand where Theo is going with this.
“A day,” he says earnestly. “One day with no responsibilities. You told me months ago that you didn’t want diamonds. You said if I were in love, that’s not what I’d choose. I think this is what you’d choose.” He smiles gently at me. “One day to be selfish and do what you love. I never see you do this anymore. Think of this as my list, Cat.”
“I can’t. I have to study and I—”
My words cut off as his hands land on my shoulders. He spins me. “No. You don’t. I’ll study with you. You’ll do it in half the time. Take the day, princess.” He presses a kiss to my hair. “For me.”
I lose the entire day to reading. I nap in the window seat when the coffee wears off and the sun rises above the house. It’s warm in here with all the light, but I still wrap a blanket around me and snuggle into the cushions on the seat. Theo brings me lunch—a lobster roll from a restaurant nearby—and eats it with his hands while he sits on the floor with me.
He’s so happy here. Free and uncomplicated.
“Would you move here?” I ask. “It seems like you love it.”
“I’m not sure.” His gaze lifts to the window, where clouds are gathering above the water. “I think it might be lonely. It’s a big house for one person. And there are no neighbors. The landscape is bleak in the winter. Cold and windy too.”
“What if you weren’t alone?” I ask carefully.
His gaze slices to mine. “If I weren’t alone, then yes. I love it here.”
I can see him living here—the perfect husband. Making his wife lunch and never letting her go an hour without smiling. He’d fill his garage with stupidly expensive cars and go boating on hot summer days, throw parties and swim naked and suck up every last drop of joy.
The image of it makes me ache.
Because for the first time, I let myself picture being the one he dotes on, and I can’t bear to let him go.
When I wander out of the room later, the sun is setting. I can’t see it from the house, but the light is golden and soft. Theo’s on the first level of the massive deck, fiddling with the grill. There’s a bottle of wine on the table next to him. I lean against the doorframe to watch him. He lights the grill and closes the lid in one smooth move before he pours the wine into two glasses.
He fixes the already perfectly set table. Is he nervous? I can’t imagine him nervous.
But then again, he’s been trying to win me with no expectation that I’ll return his affection. How did I think I could resist him?
He turns, spots me, and smiles, brilliant and sexy. His hair is tousled from the wind and his eyes are brighter with the way his face has tanned. “Hey, baby.”
“Hi.” Nerves flutter in my stomach as he steps closer and pulls me in for a kiss. His lips slide over mine, his tongue tangling with my own. I spear my fingers into his hair and kiss him back. When he pulls away, his cheekbones are flushed.
“I have something for you,” he says. His face is solemn now. He reaches inside his pocket and comes up with a folded piece of paper. “You said you wanted freedom, Cat. I want to give it to you. I don’t want to control you. I never have. I want to make sure no one can ever control you again.” He clears his throat. “I don’t want to do this. Signing this made me want to cry. But this is what you want, and I’ve never been able to deny you.” His mouth curves up in a sad smile, and he passes me the paper .
“What’s going on?” I ask. I’m frozen. The paper is heavy in my hand. “Theo—”
“Open the paper, baby,” he says gently.
I do. On it are written simple words.
“Agreement of Separation and Divorce.”
Theo’s signature is at the bottom, and in the agreement, he’s given me half his money and this house.
“So you have something of your own,” he says. “No one can control you now.”
I look up at my husband. His green eyes are sad, his soft mouth pressed in a line.
Signing this made me want to cry.
You said you wanted freedom. I want to give it to you.
I do want freedom. Or I did. Or maybe I didn’t understand that freedom means more when I’m with Theo.
My hand shakes. I open my mouth to speak.
And I burst into tears.