Chapter 50
50
Theo
M aybe I should care more about nearly dying, but I don’t. I can’t find it in me to feel anything other than satisfied as Cat’s ass in that tight wetsuit sways up the stairs to my house.
My house.
My wife.
And if she thinks she’s getting away from me after that scene on the beach, she better think again. I’m not letting her go. Not when she cares so much.
No one has ever cried over me before, but there were tears in her eyes.
It makes me the worst kind of man, but I’m thrilled at the evidence of her affection.
We push open the glass door that leads to the deck, and I press the ignition for the gas fireplace. It’s massive and suspended from the ceiling so all parts of the living area get heat.
The whoosh of the flame makes Cat jump backward, right into my chest.
Perfect.
My hands settle on her shoulders, drop to her zipper.
“Let’s get warm,” I tell her. I haven’t pushed her since we arrived at the house, but I’m done being patient. I’m done waiting. I sweep her hair over her shoulder and pull the zipper down. The wetsuit parts slowly, revealing inch after mouthwatering inch of smooth, pale skin. Cat trembles as I brush my fingers down her spine.
The weight of the wet fabric forces it down, baring her torso. I drop to my knees.
“What are you doing, Theo?”
“I told you.” I push one leg down, then the other, and help her step out. She’s naked before me. Her ass is in my face. I’ve never wanted anything more. “I’m showing you what it would be like to be my wife. I’d get on my knees for you whenever you want.” My mouth hovers close to the right cheek of her butt, round and smooth and perfect. Bigger than she probably likes but sinfully lush. My favorite part of her body. I palm it, cupping and squeezing. “Do you know why I call you princess?”
“Because you hated me,” she says, her voice weak and wanting.
Right there with you, baby.
“Because you deserve to be worshipped,” I say before I bite her ass. She yelps. “You want to know where that brave woman has been hiding? She hasn’t been hiding.” I bite the other cheek, just to hear her sharp inhale. “She’s been there all along. I’ve always seen her.” I turn Cat with my hands, and she complies, bared and shivering before me. I look up at her. Her eyes are hazy and soft, her mouth uncertain.
“You look hot from this angle, princess.”
Her lips curve up. “You too, Theo.”
“You like me on my knees for you?” I lean in to press a kiss to her thigh. Her skin trembles.
“I do,” she says. “I like you every time I see you, more and more. I don’t know how much more I can take, actually.”
“Let me see what I can do about that.” I want to push her. I want her to soar. I want her to fall and let me catch her .
I press another kiss to her skin, salty and cool but rapidly warming where the fire is heating her. She makes a breathy sound of enjoyment.
“What do you want?” I ask, mouth hovering over where I know she needs me. Where I’m desperate to touch her.
“I want your mouth.”
“You have me,” I say before I lick her. She tastes like saltwater and woman, musky and sweet. My favorite flavor. I can’t help the sound of pleasure that rumbles up from my chest as I grip her thigh and part her with my fingers. I can suck on her clit like this. I can drive her wild like this, with the flat of my tongue and my lips and my teeth, until her hands are in my hair and my name is on her lips.
“Theo. I want you naked.”
I give her one final kiss and stand. “Help me?” I say as I turn. “It’s damn uncomfortable to be hard in a wetsuit.”
She unzips the suit and mirrors the actions I took on her. Knuckles over skin, an intake of breath when she gets my torso bared. And then she drops to her knees and turns me, just like I did to her. I’m fully hard and desperate for her. Aching for her.
She licks a line of heat up my cock, and I shout, grabbing for the side of the couch.
“Little warning?” I say. “I almost died earlier. I don’t need a repeat experience.”
She digs her nails into the side of my thigh. An admonishment. A warning. Not to play games with my life. Because it hurts her too.
She sucks my cock into her mouth, and the pleasure is nearly too much. When she increases the pressure, my knees buckle. When she uses her hand, the heat in my groin turns into an inferno. One that will consume me if I’m not careful.
“Cat,” I grit out. She adds a hand to what her mouth is doing, and I groan. “Princess. I can’t—fuck. You remembered how I like it.” Her teeth scrape over the underside of my cock. Good. So good. My hips are chasing her mouth, and my cock is swelling. I’m going to come if she isn’t careful .
I still her with a hand on her jaw and force her mouth open with my thumb. “You look so hot like this. Taking me. But I don’t want to finish like this.” I slip out of her and sink to the floor with her. The rug is thick pile, designed for cozy winter nights and cool spring mornings. I press Cat down onto it until she’s spread before me like a feast. The fire flickers over her skin in the dim morning light, painting her in gold and yellow.
“I want you, Theo.” She reaches for me, but I ignore her grasping hands and go straight for what I want—her nipples in my mouth, my tongue painting heat over her skin, tasting her everywhere. Her eyes implore me. Her lips are soft and plush, and her cheeks are pink. She wants this. And that , more than my own desire for her, is what nearly tips me over the edge.
She digs her nails into my shoulders, urging me on with her fingers and her breathy sighs. I want you. Please.
I lean back against the couch and pull her over me.
“On top?” she asks.
“On top. I want to watch you fall apart.”
“So sure of yourself,” she teases, smiling like a siren.
She straddles me. The breath leaves my chest. We might have started with the list, but for me, this isn’t checking a box at all. What about for Cat? Will she reject me? Will she walk away just like everyone else? You might think the worst of yourself, but I refuse to.
I’ve always been willing to accept scraps from her, but not anymore.
“Cat.” I squeeze her hip, rolling her over my cock and watching her lids flutter. “I’m not doing this for the list.”
She stills. Her breaths are shallow and fast. Her eyes trace my face. “Me neither,” she whispers. Hope inflates like a balloon in my chest.
“Yeah?” I grin at her.
“It hasn’t been about the list for a while.” Her eyes are wide. With nervousness, I think. Or hope. Please let her feel like I do.
She looks like she doesn’t know where to start.
“Kiss me, princess,” I whisper .
“Theo.” Her lips hover over mine. I wait for her to take, even though I’m hers. I have been since I was twenty-one.
“I know,” I say, my voice ragged.
She kisses me hard and fast, desperate and hot. I chase her lips with mine, just as hungry, just as wanting. It’s been weeks of needing her. Years of longing. Being with her before didn’t soothe the ache, it just made it worse.
I slide my tongue into her mouth, my hand into her hair. She’s already rocking over me, slick and wet against where I’m hard.
One roll of my hips, and she’s gasping. “Theo, please,” she sobs.
I got her ready with my mouth and my fingers, and I hope like hell it’s enough, because I can’t wait any longer.
I grip her hips to position her over me and press inside. “Tell me if it hurts, baby.” The words are forced through my teeth as she squeezes around me, hot and tight.
“It doesn’t hurt,” she says on a sigh. “You feel amazing.”
I choke a breath and push farther inside her. It’s everything I can do to not slam into her. I’m shaking as I take it slow, so slow, until she’s fully seated on me and her pussy is fluttering and clenching around my cock.
“Theo,” she breathes. Her eyes are half-lidded, her body swaying. I love her like this. So confident in her body, taking what she needs, open and honest.
I love her.
I need to show her.
I pull her in for a hard kiss and let my hands grab every part of her I can touch. Her nipples between grasping fingers, her ass filling my hands, her hair around my fist so I can deepen our kiss. I work my hips and drink in her sighs.
Cat is sweeping me away. I can barely manage to focus on her pleasure with how blood is rushing in my ears, spinning need in my stomach.
She’s clenching around me, throwing her head back, working herself over my cock.
“Take what you need, princess. ”
She moans and circles her hips. Sparks light under my skin, zip down my spine. I buck up into her.
“Like that, Theo,” she moans.
She kisses me, slipping her tongue into my mouth and rocking over me with little sobbing breaths. I swallow the sounds, unwilling to let her go.
She whispers commands against my mouth, and I respond.
“I love the way you take me.”
“You feel so good. Yes—Theo, more.”
“You’re going to make me come.”
“I’m there,” she pants. “I’m there. Come inside me. I need you.”
“Fuck,” I groan.
She cries into my mouth as she clenches around me. I follow, the orgasm tearing through me, bowing my spine and searing me with pleasure.
My hips pump helplessly as she rides the waves of her own orgasm, her face pressed to my neck, her hand against my heart. When we’re limp and trembling, I crush her to me.
My lips against her hair form words she’s not ready to hear.
I love you.
I have always loved you.
We’re laying on the couch in front of the fire an hour later. I rub lazy circles on Cat’s ribs as she stares into the fire. I know she’s not asleep, but she’s relaxed. Her legs are tangled with mine, and her head is pillowed on my arm. I never want to let her go.
“I know you don’t want it now, but did you ever dream of marriage? Even as a little girl?”
Do I have a chance with you?
She’s still for a minute, just breathing in my arms. “I used to,” she says quietly. She turns to face me. I stroke my thumb over her cheek, under her jaw. I can’t stop touching her now that I have the right. “I used to dream about it when my mom was alive. I was young and naive.” Her voice is bitter. “And then I got older and I realized my dad hated her before she died, and did everything he could to control her. I’m convinced—” Her voice cracks and she inhales a shaky breath. “He never loved her and that’s why she wasn’t able to fight the cancer.” Her breaths stutter in and out, each sound knifing through me.
“God, I’m sorry, Cat. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” I say. I lift my other arm and loop it over her shoulders. She tucks her face into my chest. “I’m sorry I was selfish. Sorry I cared more about my own problems than yours. Sorry I didn’t see what you were going through.”
I line our bodies up, my arm around her back, my leg between hers, until she’s completely cocooned by me.
“It’s okay,” she says. Her voice is muffled against my chest.
“It’s not okay. I never should have left. I should have been there for you. I should have protected you.”
She blows out a gentle breath. “No, Theo. You needed to leave. I wouldn’t have wanted you to give up all you’ve achieved for me. I don’t blame you. We each dealt with things in our own way.”
I still. “I blame myself. I wish I could have saved you from seeing the worst of what people are capable of. I wish I could have proved to you that marriage isn’t all bad.” I pause. “It can be wonderful with the right person, I think. You made me see that.”
She’s quiet. I’m pushing her too far, too fast. I’m not for winning , she said. But I’m still going to try.
“Forgive me for the past,” I murmur into her hair. “Please, forgive me.”
She shifts so she can press her lips to mine. She tastes sweet. Her lips linger, brushing lightly over mine, savoring me. “Of course,” she whispers. “I already have.”