Chapter 15
fifteen
JAKOB
W hen we arrive back home in the United States, I hope Nicole will join me in my room. Yet she stops me in the foyer to let me know that’s not happening. We’ve established that we’re in a relationship. Nicole leaves no room for argument that we’re keeping separate rooms. A mixture of disappointment and confusion settles in my stomach, as she also tells me she’s moving out soon and beginning her new job. I knew she’d start her job soon, but the leaving takes me by surprise. I’ve changed so much after one weekend. I went from never wanting anyone near the light of my life to now wanting to share that light and watch it glow brighter.
“This weekend showed me something,” I tell her. “Dafni is growing up so fast. I need to take more weekends off. Maybe even plan for a week off. I’ve been consumed with work and crippled by the fear of my past, but not anymore.”
She releases a small laugh. “You’ve always been so serious and an overachiever.”
“I can’t help it if I excel at everything. And I take this seriously. I’m serious about being more present in my daughter’s life. Making more time for family vacations. I’m serious about you.”
Her eyes sparkle as a beautiful rosy hue colors her cheeks. I place my hands on either side of her waist and pull her to me.
“Come upstairs with me. You don’t have to move out. I want you in my bed every night.”
My body stiffens when a low voice laced in venom speaks from behind me.
“You want what?”
Nicole’s eyes widen in horror and surprise. “Noah! What… what are you doing here?”
“Yes, Noah, what are you doing in my home?” I ask matter-of-factly. I’m frustrated that he ruined this moment but also pissed at myself that he found out this way. I’m supposed to be his best friend. We’ve had each other’s backs since childhood, and now I’ve committed the ultimate betrayal.
“I came to see my sister. What are you doing with my baby sister in your home? ”
“You know why she’s here. It was your idea, remember? She’s Dafni’s nanny.” The words are sour on my tongue. I should’ve phrased that better, but I’m so flustered. I never get flustered. I’m always cool and in control. Once again, Nicole is my undoing. I don’t want Noah to upset her about us being together, even though he has more than every right to hate me. But she shouldn’t suffer the consequences of my actions.
Noah takes a step closer toward me. “Do you invite all your nannies to sleep in your bed?”
Anger radiates off him. His knuckles are white as he balls his hands into fists.
I look to Nicole and speak. “Will you please go help Dafni get ready for bed? I’ll be up there soon to tell her good night.”
“Maybe you should,” Noah says. “Nicole has quit and I’m taking her home. Didn’t you just give a pretty speech about being a more involved father?”
“Jesus. How long were you listening?”
“Long enough,” he clips. “I trusted you with her. I thought we were family. What the fuck? You’re my best friend and you treat my sister—” He covers his mouth with a fist and growls into it. When he turns his eyes back on me, they burn with hatred. “I will never do this to you. I can’t even imagine treating Vivian the way you did Nicole.”
Nicole scoffs. “How did he treat me, Noah?”
“Like a weekend play toy! What else? How long has this been going on? Why didn’t you tell me he was taking advantage of you?”
I knew this would happen. I’ve always cared about her, then that transformed into lust as we got older and more mature. After this weekend, I can’t ignore what it’s been all along: I love her.
“I’m an adult. I’m not some lovesick girl. And I’m hurt and insulted that you think so little of me. You know me better than that, or at least I thought you did. It’s not like I’ve let men use me or I’ve chased toxic relationships. I don’t have daddy issues. And what about Jakob? Do you really think so little of your best friend? You’re hurt that we didn’t tell you, but we were going to. It just happened.”
Pride swells in my chest at how Nicole is handling this. She’s calm, composed, and direct.
Barely above a whisper, Nicole asks, “Do you ask me before you date someone?”
“I would if it was your best friend. If it was someone who was like family to us. Someone who I knew you considered important, and it would be a really big deal that I was fucking them.”
My feet eat up the space between us. “Watch your language. Don’t you dare speak to her that way. You’re angry, but that doesn’t justify you treating her this way. Hit me if that will make you feel better, but don’t hurt her because you’re angry with me.”
“I’m angry at both of you! ”
“As you should be! You trusted me,” I reason. “Maybe we should’ve called you, but would that have made it better? I thought this was a conversation that was more suitable face-to-face. But not like this.”
With each breath Noah takes, his chest rises and his nostrils flare. He’s dangerously close to losing his temper. I pray Dafni is blissfully unaware of what’s happening. Thankfully, we’ve all kept our voices at a decent level.
“I told you I’d have the balls of anyone who makes a move on my sister.”
“Would you let me date your sister then? If I give you my balls, will you grant your blessing?”
He doesn’t blink but stares at me in surprise. Nicole bursts out laughing. Finally, Noah cracks a smile.
“You’re an asshole. This isn’t funny.” Then his fist comes up with no warning and connects with my jaw.
A blinding pain sears my skull. I taste copper, but luckily, none of my teeth feel loose and my jaw isn’t broken. Nicole pushes her brother and hisses curse words at him. Noah, on the other hand, sounds more like his old self.
“I do feel slightly better. I just need to know one thing.”
I rub my jaw and wait for his question.
His gaze is hard and unwavering as he glowers at me. “Have you always had a thing for my sister? ”
“Since she was sixteen. I wasn’t happy about it. I kept my distance and was always respectful. I promise you, no lines were crossed until recently. I love her. I’m serious about a relationship with her. I wouldn’t do this to you or our families or put my daughter through the risk of getting attached to someone if I wasn’t serious and completely in love with her.”
Noah is quiet for a moment, and then he nods as if coming to terms with it. “I guess Vivian knows.”
“She does,” I answer.
He turns to Nicole. “Why did his sister find out before your brother?”
Nicole shakes her head and rushes over to embrace him in a hug. “You’re such a goober. She was there. Otherwise, you would’ve known before her.”
“She always knew the secrets before me.” He playfully pouts.
“That’s because she always has her nose in everything,” I grumble.
Nicole pats her brother on the back and cheerfully says, “Well, since you’re here and probably still have a lot of frustration to work out, come help me pack. I have a friend who has an apartment close to where I’ll be working. Her roommate moved out and I’m moving in.”
Here I was thinking we just got everything worked out, and now she’s leaving sooner than planned. I give Nicole a what are you doing look .
She walks over to me and whispers, “I was leaving soon anyway. I might as well have him help me since he’s here.”
“I can hire movers.”
“Jakob. Let’s take time to process the weekend, our families knowing about us, and us. It’s been a whirlwind. I love you. That hasn’t changed. But I’m not going to live here while we’re in a new relationship. Let’s take this slow.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Take it slow? Being in love with someone for years before even dating is slow. We can’t get any slower. I’ve thought of nothing else for years, and practically went insane thinking about it since she started living with me. “Are you scared? Is that what this is?”
“I want to enjoy dating for a little bit. Please.”
A million thoughts run through my mind, but I know better than to say any of them. Even though I want to toss her over my shoulder and carry her to my bedroom, I accept what she’s telling me and listen. This is what’s different from all my previous relationships. I’m not in control. She is.