Chapter 9
Why had he thought coming to a restaurant to talk to Clara was a good idea?
The place they’d chosen was quiet, intimate and screamed romance.
Even though they were early, there were plenty of couples gazing into each other’s eyes, and he was sure they were sharing sweet nothings with each other.
The location was everything they needed to be able to discuss things, yet he couldn’t bring himself to broach the subject.
The fact Clara also hadn’t , showed she didn’t want to discuss it either.
Why did I kiss her?
No, he didn’t regret it, in fact he wished he would have deepened the kiss. Really showed her what he thought and felt about her. But he’d been cognizant of where they were and how many people were around them.
Across the table from him, Clara pushed her plate forward.
“How was your meal?” he asked.
“It was fine,” she responded.
Pretty sure the chef wouldn’t be happy with that compliment about his food, but he wasn’t going to mention that. “Mine was fine too.”
“Do you feel like having some dessert?”
The only dessert he wanted was the woman in front of him. Again, not something he was about to blurt out because it wasn’t the time or place. Not to mention he might end up with a slap across his cheek.
“I’ll have to check the menu. Maybe they’ve got something we could share.”
What was he doing? He was asking for trouble doing that. But it would be good trouble; the trouble he wanted.
He was tired of playing it safe with Clara. He was going to lay everything on the table and whatever happened, happened.
Ben reached across the table and took Clara’s hand that was resting by her water glass in his. When she didn’t pull away he considered it a win. Taking a deep breath, he let the thoughts that were swirling in his mind fall into place.
Here goes nothing.
“On the bridge before I kissed you, I said you were special, but I didn’t say why.” So far so good; she wasn’t trying to yank her hand away from his. “You’re special to me for a number of reasons, but mainly because when I’m with you, I don’t have to be someone else. I can be myself.”
With a bit of distance and time from Fern he could see how he was never truly relaxed with her.
She had a certain expectation on how he behaved.
From what he’d seen and heard about the guy she loved now, Ben didn’t imagine he would have finishing school manners.
Not that it mattered; if she was happy, then he was too.
“I would never judge you on anything you did, Ben,” Clara said softly. “I can be myself with you too. But how does that make me any more special than, say, you hanging with Reed?
“You’re right, I said that was the main thing but it really isn’t.
You’re special to me because…” He paused, knowing that he was about to lay his heart on the table and he hoped Clara wouldn’t stab it.
“You make me whole. You fill a void in me that I searched for others to fill and the reason they couldn’t was because you were already there. ”
Did that sound as corny and ridiculous to her as it did to him?
He couldn’t articulate what was deep inside of him.
“Sorry, Clarabelle, I’m making a mess of what I’m trying to say.
It’s just,” he looked to the ceiling as if that would give him inspiration, “yesterday, when I saw you in the lobby, everything in me calmed. Everything became clear, and I knew even if I hadn’t found out that Fern was cheating on me, I made the right decision to walk away.
It’s you I want. No one else. Just you.”
“Ben!” Her whispered cry, along with the tears welling in her eyes, had him second guessing himself.
Had he made a fool of himself?
It didn’t matter because he’d told her what he was feeling and he would deal with the fallout.
“Would you like dessert?” Their server came up, and Ben wanted to shout at him that now wasn’t the time. Couldn’t he read the room? Couldn’t the guy see something big had just gone down between the two of them?
“No, but we’d like the bill, please,” Clara said before he could say anything else, her focus on him as she squeezed his hand. The hand he forgot he was holding.
Did that mean that he hadn’t scared her away?
He tried not to get his hopes up. Tried not to read too much into it, but how could he not? If she didn’t want anything to do with him after his confession, she wouldn’t still be connected to him. If she’d been really upset with him wouldn’t she be running for the hills?
“Certainly, I’ll be right back.” The server melted away from the table as silently as he’d come.
“Bento.” Clara said his silly nickname, and he smiled. He couldn’t help it.
“Clarabelle,” he returned.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
He lifted their joined hands and brushed his lips across her knuckles. “Very sure. But what exactly are you saying here?”
No way did he want to make assumptions that she wanted the same thing he did. The time for assuming anything was over. They’d done far too much of that during their friendship. It was time for straight talking.
He held up his hand when she went to speak, needing to say this first, “I’m very sure that we realized, when we were too young to know–too inexperienced to know–what our true feelings were.
Now, after all these years, I’m finally acknowledging what I should’ve done a long time ago.
I want more than just being your friend.
I want you, Clarabelle, in all the ways a man wants a woman. ”
Clara’s eyes were as wide as an open window when he’d finished speaking. “I want all that too. I want you all the ways a woman wants a man.”
Relief poured over him, and he had to fight the urge to haul her across the table and ravish her in front of everyone. “Let’s get out of here.” He urged her to stand and she laughed at his eagerness, tugging him back to sitting.
“We need to pay the bill first.”
“Right,” he swiveled in his chair. “Where’s the damn server when you need him? He didn’t have an issue interrupting us last time.”
“Give him a couple more minutes, he’ll be here. And Ben?” She sounded so earnest.
“Yes?”
“I’m not going anywhere, so if he takes a little longer to bring the bill, then that’s okay, because I’m not leaving without you.”
Somehow Ben managed to get them back to Clara’s hotel without ravishing her in the street, even though he wanted to every time they stopped at a red light.
It didn’t help the way Clara leaned into him, lifting her face, inviting him to sample her lips.
He lost count of how many times he’d muttered, “not yet” to her.
Then they were in the elevator rising to her room, and the wait would be over in a few seconds.
Ben rushed her down the hallway, her giggles filling the air. A sound that wasn’t new to him but one he was getting more and more addicted to. He wanted to make her laugh like that more often.
“Key!” he demanded, holding out his hand. Was he coming off all alpha and strong? Possibly, but he didn’t care, he just needed the door open and for them to get inside so he could finally kiss her and hopefully more.
Clara rolled her eyes at his attitude and pushed him out of the way so she could unlock her own door. She pressed herself up against him, and he swallowed a groan when she wiggled her ass against his already hard cock. “I’m more than capable of unlocking my own door.”
Ben helped her push the door open and the moment it slammed shut behind them he spun her around trapping her against the wood. “This is what you want?” he asked.
Her fingers gripped his shirt as if she didn’t want to let go. “More than anything.”
With a groan he finally did what he’d been wanting to do for days.
Weeks. Months. Years, but he was too blind to see it.
Ben found her mouth and sealed his over hers.
A sense of rightness washed over him at the first touch.
The feelings he got from the kiss they shared years and years ago, the one where they’d decided they were better off as friends, had been so wrong.
There was nothing wrong about the way she fit in his arms. Nothing wrong in the way her mouth moved under his.
Nothing wrong with the way everything in him became alive, as if he’d been half living his life.
Did she feel the same?
Considering she wasn’t pushing him away, in fact, the way she was pressing herself against him, said yes. The way her fingers threaded through his hair, holding him close, told him she wanted this as much as he did.
But he needed more.
Needed to learn what made her sigh, cry out, and scream in delight. He wanted to know everything there was about her body.
“Bed,” he muttered against her lips as he broke their kiss.
“Yes please.”
Unable to get enough of each other, they kissed the short distance between the door and the bed. The second the side of his leg hit it, he pulled away from her.
Fuck, she’s so beautiful. Why did I wait so long to do this?
The thought flitted through his mind as he took in the plumpness of her lips, swollen from his kisses. The glow of happiness in her blue eyes.
“You take my breath away, Clarabelle,” he murmured, and traced a finger down her body.
“Ditto,” she responded, and she reached behind her for the zipper of her dress.
Ben batted her hand away and turned her so her back was to him. “Let me do it.”
He carefully pushed her hair over her shoulder so it didn’t get caught and pulled the tab down, his desire for her increasing with every inch of skin he exposed. Leaning forward he pressed tiny kisses down her spine, reveling in her sharp inhalation of air.
Gently he drew the dress away from her body until she stood before him in her strapless bra and thong.
He wanted their first time together to be a long and sensual journey, but seeing her almost naked tempted him to toss her on the bed and take her. Lose himself in her.
“Ben?” She looked over her shoulder at him, a hint of worry had chased away the happiness he’d seen in her eyes.