36. Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Six
M arcus
The second I saw Cassie, my anger flared hotter, then died instantly when I spotted the sadness in her features.
My first reaction was to take her by the shoulders and kiss her, long and deep.
I pushed my need down. We needed to have this discussion.
If I couldn’t convince her to stay, she’d slip from my fingers forever, and I refused to let that happen.
“Why did you leave me this morning, Cassie?” I fought to keep my tone level.
“It was time. Our weekend was over.”
I eyed her up and down. Her cold tone sent chills through the air, but the agony in her eyes confused me. What was holding her back?
“We never had a chance to finish our talk,” I said, carefully modulating my voice so she wouldn’t hear the desperation behind my question.
“Excuse me?” Her eyes widened.
“You heard me. Cassie, I need to know. What are you so afraid of?” Where was the warm, passionate woman I held in my arms this weekend?
This was a cold imitation, and I wasn’t about to let Cassie get away with it.
She’d shown me the sensual woman inside, and I’d be damned if I would let her bottle that woman up again.
Cassie stiffened. I was pushing her buttons, asking her what she was afraid of, but there was something she wasn’t telling me, and we had to find a way past it.
The fire burning inside me, all for her, was out of control. We’d spent a wonderful weekend together, one I wanted to repeat over and over for the next sixty or seventy years, if this stubborn woman would let me.
“I’m not afraid of anything.” She crossed her arms over her chest, the paper, which I assumed was her resignation, in her hand crackling against the pressure.
“Bullshit. You wouldn’t have walked out this morning without saying good-bye if you weren’t afraid.” Did she not realize how much I’d studied her this weekend? Hell, even before then, but this weekend had given me so much more insight to this woman I loved.
I blinked. I loved her .
I hadn’t realized that until this moment, yet now, looking back, I could see I’d been half in love with her before the weekend ever started.
“The deal was for sixty hours, and that’s what you got.” Anger sparked in her eyes.
Good. Get angry, be mad, and show me those emotions.
Show me the passionate woman who isn’t afraid.
“I’m not talking about our agreement.” I took a step and stopped, flexing my fingers at my sides so I wouldn’t reach out and grab her.
“Did I scare you in some way?” The question almost brought me to my knees.
“Too much sex?” Was there such a thing? “Whatever has you frightened, we can work it out. Together.”
And we could. I’d come to the realization instantly. I wanted her in my life, even if it meant vanilla sex, although I doubted kink was the issue.
“There is nothing to work out. I told you in my note: You had your weekend. End of story.”
“Bullshit.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, wondering how to get through to her. Having our deal thrown in my face wasn’t what I expected. I expected her to be honest with me and herself.
Enough.
I took her by shoulders, driven by the need to touch her. “After everything we shared this weekend, you still want to end our relationship?”
“It was sex. Nothing else.”
I almost believed her until her gaze skittered away from mine. Hope flared inside me. She was fighting. “It was more than sex to me.” I gentled my hold and my tone.
Cassie didn’t say a word.
“This weekend was way more than sex—it was about the woman I want to keep in my life.” It was it all up to her.
“Marcus.” Her stance relaxed, and her voice trembled.
“I told you I only wanted the weekend, but that was a lie. I want more. If you walk away from me now, my life will be empty. I love you, and there is nothing I’d like to do more than prove that to you.”
She tore herself from my hold and turned her back to me.
Had I lost her? Loss hit me in the gut worse than any sucker punch.
I never failed. Through my college years, I had a professor who said I’d never amount to anything but failure.
In spite of him, I thrived. There was a first time for everything, but I wished it wasn’t something as critical as convincing the love of my life to stay, to give us a chance.
Before now, I never stopped a woman from walking away if that’s what she wanted, but this was different. This was Cassie. I’d put it all on the line, telling her how I felt. There was nothing more I could do.
Her silence was killing me. Apparently, she would stick to her decision. I hung my head, unable to fathom a dreary life without Cassie in it. I couldn’t stay. Couldn’t look at her any longer and know she would never be mine.
Without a word, I stepped around her and reached for the door.
“No!” Her fingers curled around my wrist.
I froze, unsure how many more blows I could take before I crumbled at her feet and begged.
“I love you too.” Her words were soft, but the breath she took in after them was ragged with emotion. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”
My muscles tightened even more as I waited. When she didn’t speak, I glanced over my shoulder. There were tears in her eyes—the emotions she’d kept bottled up were breaking free.
Thank God.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart.” I turned and gathered her into my arms. I couldn’t stand seeing her cry, especially since I was the cause of her tears.
“I can’t help it.” She buried her face against my shirt. “I’m so afraid.”
“Of what?”
She trembled in my embrace. “That I can never be the woman you want me to be.”
I was struck speechless for a moment. “What kind of woman do you think I want?” Where the hell was this coming from? How could she think that? She was perfect for me.
“A submissive.”
“What the fuck?” I held her at arm’s length. “Where the hell did you get that idea from?”
“Come on, Marcus, this whole weekend was about control—you controlling me. You let me be the aggressor once, but the rest was all you. Even your special room reeks of a Dominant and his submissive. You say you only want me submissive in bed, but that will change.”
She really believed that? Her features were tight. There had to be more. “You are no submissive,” I said.
And that was the truth. She was a sexual submissive most of the time, but really she was a switch. She liked to dominate on her terms.
“I won’t be like my mother.” She continued as if she hadn’t heard me. “I will not submit my life choices to your whim. I will not become a slave, and I sure as hell won’t allow a man to almost kill me.” She pulled herself from my embrace, and her hand covered her mouth.
The last piece of the puzzle fell into place. Her father’s abusive tendencies, her insistence that she wasn’t a submissive, her need for control. I hadn’t put it all together until now. “What happened?” I reached for her, but she avoided me and marched over to the window to look out.
“It was the week I turned eighteen. I don’t know what set my father off, but he took Mom into their play room. He’d already tied me up and put me in the closet, close enough where I heard everything. I could hear her screaming, but there was something different in her screams this time.”
She rested her forehead against the glass, and I could barely stop myself from going over to her. Cassie looked as if she’d shatter into a million pieces if I touched her.
“She kept begging him to stop. She’d never done that before. I started kicking the wall, trying to get his attention. But he didn’t stop. I started screaming at the top of my lungs. A neighbor heard me and called the police. By the time they arrived, my mother was unconscious and barely breathing.”
“They arrested your father?” Even with the Sexual Freedom Act, the police would react to spousal abuse first, not matter what her father said. There was no tolerance for abuse.
“Yes, but Mom refused to press charges.” She laughed bitterly.
My heart tightened. My poor Cassie.
“She told the police their sex play got out of hand, but she couldn’t explain why I was tied up in the closet. I was still under eighteen, but I turned of age while she was in the hospital. I begged her to leave him. I left home the day she told me she was picking my father up from jail.”
“Baby, you have to know I’d never do that.” I touched her waist, watching her reflection in the glass. “Your father abused you and your mother.”
“He did, and I will never put myself in that situation. I won’t be submissive. I won’t allow a man to beat me up like my father did to my mother. I won’t let anyone tie up my child.”
My heart hurt for the young woman Cassie had been and the horror she’d seen and experienced.
I cupped her chin and turned her face to me.
“Our children will be cherished, not punished the way you were. I love you, Cassie.” When she opened her mouth, I touched her lips to quiet her words.
“Listen to me as I say this again. You are a sexual submissive, meaning you like the man to take the lead in the bedroom. Not always, but most of the time. That’s fine with me.
I don’t need someone who is submissive in all things.
I don’t want that. I want to laugh and argue and live normal lives.
Cassie, I love you just the way you are. ”
There was doubt in her blue eyes. That wouldn’t do.
“What if I can never do some of the things you want to do? There are some things I’ll never want to do or try, like being blindfolded.”
“It makes no difference.” It didn’t, not to me. I drew her against me. “I love you. I don’t care if you want to spend the rest of our lives having nothing but vanilla sex. I can deal with it. As long as I have you in my bed, in my arms, in my life, I’ll be a happy man.”
Tears fell down her cheeks. I leaned over and kissed them away. “You make me happy, Cassie. Please, come home with me.”
“I think we can be a little kinkier than vanilla.” Her lips turned up, the first ray of hope I’d seen all day.
The knot in my gut unraveled. It was time to finish this conversation right.
“I think we should conclude this the way we started.” I took her hand, led her from John’s office to the elevator, and then to my office.
Once inside, I locked the door and pulled a small box out of my pocket.
Dropping to one knee, I held the open box up to her.
“Cassie Adams, will you do me the honor of wearing these?”
Her gasp was loud in the room. Inside the box were a set of non-piercing gold nipple rings. They were for her to wear as she wanted until I could get her a real ring for her finger. “Oh, Marcus.” The love shining from her eyes brought joy to my heart. “Yes.”
With a wide smile, I stood and pulled her into my arms. “Until you’re ready to have my ring on your finger, these rings will signify my commitment to you and only you.”
She laughed. “Only you would seal the agreement with nipple rings.”
“I am special.” I brushed a kiss against her lips. “But not as special as the woman I’m holding in my arms.”
“I love you so much.” She buried her face against my chest.
“Me too. So what do you say we get the ball rolling and you move into my place tomorrow?”
“Give you an inch and you take a mile.” Her laughter rang through my office. “I’d like that.”
“Done. But don’t expect a lot of negotiations in your future.”
“Oh?” She tilted her head as she gazed at me.
“I intended to make sure you’re too sexually satisfied to argue with me.”
“Sounds good to me.” She drew my mouth down to hers to seal the deal.
***
I hope you've enjoyed Marcus and Cassie's story. Please leave a review where every you feel comfortable, this really helps me as the author reach more readers. Next up is Asher and Emma's story.
Asher is the head of IT at Fantasies, Inc. and Emma because a contractor to incorporate her software with Asher's. Forced proximity pushes these two together day after day. Sexual tension runs high, and a hacker cause trouble. Asher and Emma work together to protect the company and their love.