88 Ginger
88
Ginger
The phone on the table vibrated, and I reached out to silence it before James woke up, but I was too late. He turned on the lamp on the nightstand and sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. He looked tired.
“Who’s calling at two in the morning?”
“Sorry. It’s Rhys.”
“What’s he want now?”
“I don’t know. Maybe something’s up.”
James rolled his eyes just as the phone lit up and started vibrating again. I took a deep breath, got up, tied my robe, and answered, walking downstairs from the bedroom to the kitchen. It was already starting to fill up with boxes of my things.
“Rhys, are you okay?” I sat on the windowsill. Outside, the moon shone over the treetops. “Can you hear me?” Music was blasting on the other end of the line.
“Hey, Ginger Snap!” he shouted in a nasal voice.
“It’s two in the morning; I hope you’ve got a good excuse for this.”
“I love you. That should be enough, right?” I could hear his distorted laughter, cutting off every time he moved the phone. “Ginger, Ginger…”
That was the first time he’d ever said it to me. I love you . Just like that. No runaround. It should have been nice, but instead it was almost sad. I could feel my eyes burn. I thought of what I’d whispered in his ear that night when I told him I was in love with him and that he shined so bright he made everything else vanish. That had been true, but as the months passed, it was less and less so. The guy now yelling over the phone wasn’t the same Rhys I’d admired so much.
“You can’t do this.” I was shaking.
“You’re my birthday present though. I was remembering what last year on this day was like. You remember too, don’t you?”
“Rhys, I’m hanging up.”
My tears were dripping over my knuckles.
And my knuckles were white from clutching the phone.
And my heart was shriveling as it heard his words.
“We had dinner outside, and you hugged me in the middle of the street—I still walk that street sometimes when I feel lonely—and you told me you were in love with me.”
“Rhys, stop, please…”
“And then we went back to the apartment and fucked.”
“You need to go home.”
“But the party just started…”
“Not for you. That much I can tell.”
“Ginger, you ought to be here.” He pulled the phone away from his ear a second to shout to the waiter to bring him another drink. “We’d have fun. Enjoy ourselves. No worries, no plans. The way things ought to be. You and me versus the world.”
“Rhys, you’re getting out of control.”
“I miss you, Ginger…”
“You need to stop.” I struggled to maintain my serenity, pinched the bridge of my nose, sighed. “How can you not realize it? I’ve got to go.”
He said something else too, but I hung up and turned my phone off before sobbing into my hand. If only I could have pretended he didn’t affect me. Or that I didn’t feel anything for him anymore. Or that I could just go on without him. But none of that was true. It was devastating. Like trying to walk one way while he was pulling me back toward the place I’d decided to leave behind. I couldn’t go that fast. I couldn’t keep looking ahead like that. I couldn’t watch him fall. And everything was about to change.
Now… I couldn’t let myself hesitate.
I went back to bed a little while later. I hugged James. I knew he would be awake. He rubbed my shoulders. It was comforting, that calm, that stability.
“Things can’t go on like this, Ginger.”
“I know. I’ll take care of it.”
“Okay. Get some rest then.”