Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Raylan
This was a huge mistake. I was rational enough to realize that, but not enough to ignore the desperate need I had to touch her.
We could have been caught at any moment, but the fear of what Zach might do to me if he walked in and saw us in this position wasn’t enough to make me stop.
Not once I pulled that sweet, warm star anis scent of hers into my lungs.
Christ, I’d always loved that smell. I didn’t know if it was lotion or perfume, or if it just radiated from her soft skin, but each inhale was like a hit I needed to take the edge off.
I shouldn’t have even been there, but when Zach mentioned their mom had invited some random guy he didn’t know to dinner, alarm bells started to go off in my head.
So I made an excuse to crash. Turned out, I was right to have worried.
Rory was trying to fix her daughter up with the golf loving douche bag.
What had she been thinking, trying to pair Lennix with a loser who looked like he came out of the womb with a pocket protector?
That wasn’t the kind of man Chaos needed.
Not that I had much of a right to that opinion.
I could feel the tension locking up Lennix’s muscles and knew she was struggling with herself.
I had a feeling I knew exactly what was going on in her head.
Part of her wanted to melt into my touch the way she’d done the other night, while the other part was probably panicked at the thought of not hating me as much as she wished she did.
I couldn’t blame her. I kept running hot and cold on her, throwing so many contradictions I was shocked she hadn’t gotten whiplash yet.
Her hands came up, her tiny palms pressing against my chest and setting my skin ablaze where she was touching me. “What the hell are you doing?” she hissed. “Someone could see us. Have you lost your mind?”
I made a sound like a growl against her neck before forcing myself to release her and stand tall. “Goddamn right I’ve lost my mind. And it’s all your fault.”
She sucked in an affronted gasp, those green eyes sparked in a way that made me hard enough to pound nails. “My fault?” she whisper-yelled. “I haven’t done anything wrong!”
“You’ve been dodging me for days, and it’s really startin’ to piss me off.”
She let out a scoff. Christ, she was sexy as fuck when she was furious.
“I’m pissing you off? Oh, that’s rich.” She stepped closer, drilling her finger into my chest. She might have been a whole head shorter than I was, but the woman had more fire in her than half the men I knew.
“Did you ever stop to think that maybe I’m dodging you because I don’t want to talk to you?
” she snapped, her cheeks turning rosy with emotion.
But I was too focused on the stabbing pain in my chest to appreciate how that flush added to her beauty.
She wasn’t saying anything I didn’t already know. What I had brought on myself by treating her so goddamn badly. Only…Christ, she had sliced right into me with those razor-sharp words. But as the saying went, the truth hurt.
I would have done anything to fix this. If only I could find the right words. If only I could stop fucking this all up.
“Chaos,” I started, but before I could get any further, a figure popped up as if out of nowhere, giving me such a start I lurched backward in an attempt to put more distance between Lennix and me.
And there it was; my epic propensity to fuck everything up.
I hadn’t been thinking, I’d simply reacted to the fear of being caught in any kind of compromising position. Thank god it was just Rae, but I saw the moment my actions sank in for Lennix, and the pain that blanketed her expression before she wiped it clear.
For Christ’s sake. If I could beat the shit out of myself, I would.
Rae’s brow furrowed as she took me in before shifting her focus to Lennix. “You okay?” she asked, her features pulling into a concerned frown. She was worried, that much was obvious. But what I didn’t see was surprise. “You need me to stall for a minute?”
Lennix’s spine straightened, her chin hiking upward.
“I’m great,” she assured her sister-in-law.
The look she cast me was so cold it sent an unpleasant shiver down my spine.
“And there’s no need to stall. I was over that conversation anyway.
” With that, she hooked her arm in the crook of Rae’s and started walking away, leaving me behind without so much as a backward glance.
And fuck if it didn’t feel like she was taking a piece of me with her.
Lennix
“You sure you’re okay?” Rae asked in a hushed voice as we moved toward the dining room.
“Of course,” I returned on a whisper. I hoped my lie sounded more convincing to her than it did to me. “Why do you ask?”
She responded by glancing down at my chest before returning her gaze to mine and arching a brow.
I hadn’t realized I was rubbing at my sternum, right above my heart, until she pointed it out.
I’d been unconsciously rubbing at the pain that had formed there the moment Raylan jumped back from me like I was a barracuda about to strike.
I quickly dropped my hand and cut a look at my sister-in-law. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
She mimed zipping her lips as we entered the dining room where everyone else was already seated.
I let out a mental curse at the three empty chairs that remained.
There was one beside my brother, which was obviously for Rae, and the last two were side by side, across from Drew and my grandfather.
This was the second family dinner I was going to be stuck sitting next to Raylan, all because I’d taken too long to get to my seat.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to hold it together, because right beneath the pain he’d caused me I could still feel the heat on my skin from where his lips had brushed.
It was like he’d pressed a hot brand there, marking the spot as his.
As much as I tried, I couldn’t get rid of the want I felt every time I was around him.
With nothing to be done about it, I rounded the table just as Raylan entered the room, his long legs eating up the distance quickly. I returned Drew’s smile with one of my own as I pulled out the chair directly across from him.
“Thanks, Chaos,” Raylan said as he plopped down in the seat. I gaped as he looked over his shoulder at me and winked. “Pulling out my chair was unnecessary, but sweet.”
I was going to kill him. I didn’t know when, and I didn’t know how—just yet—but I was nothing if not determined.
Drew’s smile wobbled as Raylan made himself comfortable in the spot that was meant for me, but to his credit, he shook it off quickly enough.
“Great,” my mom said with an enthusiastic clap of her hands as soon as my ass hit the chair beside Raylan’s. “Let’s eat, everyone. Dig in before it gets cold.”
The room erupted with the sounds of utensils clinking and scraping against plates as everyone began loading their plates.
Mom had really gone out of her way tonight with buttermilk fried chicken, garlic mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, fresh rolls, and cream gravy made from scratch.
As far as my mom’s meals went, this was one of my favorites.
I did my best to push my frustrations aside and ignore the dull pulsing ache that had started in my temple as I filled my plate, but that was easier said than done with Raylan only inches away.
His scent lingered just above the delicious food, that spice and wood surrounding me as the heat from his body wrapped around mine like a cocoon.
Dinner started off well enough. Raylan didn’t appear to be in the mood to push my buttons, and I made the mistake of relaxing and letting my guard down. I should have known better.
“How are things at the bar, princess?” Grandpa asked as I cut into my piece of chicken.
I looked across the table at him and smiled. “Things are great.”
Raylan snorted beside me. “Sure. If you call having a creepy stalker great.”
My fork and knife clattered against my plate where I dropped them, the sound twisting and tangling together with my family’s sudden rise in volume.
“What the hell is he talking about?” Dad demanded once the noise died down enough for him to be heard.
“It’s not like that,” I insisted, cutting my eyes at Raylan and silently promising retribution.
“Then you better start telling us what it’s like,” he said, using the same tone he used when he caught Brad Hinkley sneaking out of my bedroom window senior year.
We’d only been making out, but my father still rained holy hell down on the two of us, and Brad never looked me in the eye again.
In fact, if he saw me, he ran in the other direction.
“He’s blowing the whole thing way out of proportion. I don’t have a stalker.”
“Right. It’s just like . . . a secret admirer,” Rae chimed in, attempting to have my back. Unfortunately, it kind of blew up in her face.
Zach’s head whipped around in his wife’s direction. “You knew about this?”
Rae’s mouth fell open as she tried to form a reply. “I—uh—I’m not sure . . . Oh! Would you look at that.” She pressed her hand to her still-flat belly and pushed to standing. “I have to pee again. Damn pregnancy hormones.”
“Traitor!” I mouthed when she looked my way. She shrugged without any sympathy as the coward bolted like the hounds of hell were on her heels.
My mother cut a look at me that I hadn’t seen since I was sixteen and thought it would be fun to try and jump the creek on an ATV.
I ended up having to limp home in soaking wet clothes and explain to my folks why we only had four ATVs instead of five.
If I had balls, they would have shriveled up at that glare.
“You mean to tell me there’s been a threat to your safety for days now and you haven’t said a word to any of us?” If she’d still had the power to ground me for the rest of my life, I knew she would have.
I curled my lips between my teeth and clamped down to stay silent.
“Uh . . . I think I’m gonna go,” Drew broke in, hiking his thumb over his shoulder as he pushed his chair back from the table.
“Yeah, probably a good call, Dwight,” Raylan said.
“It’s Drew.”
“I don’t care.”
I’d never seen a man move so fast. If there had been a wall in his way, I was willing to bet it would have had a Drew-shaped hole in it like the Kool-Aid Man. Something told me he wouldn’t be accepting anymore dinner invitations any time soon.
Dad wiped aggressively at his mouth with a cloth napkin before slapping it down on his plate. “Explain. Now, young lady.”
Oh hell. He’d young lady-d me. That was bad. I usually had my father wrapped around my finger. What with the privileges that came with being the youngest and a girl. But I could see it in his eyes, he didn’t care about any of that.
“There is no threat to my safety.”
Rae had just reentered the dining room on my declaration, and stopped on a dime. “We’re still talking about this? I think my morning sickness turned to evening sickness.” Then she turned and disappeared again. She didn’t know it yet, but she’d just lost her place as my favorite sibling.
I pulled in a centering breath. “Look, I know you’re probably a little panicked right now, but it’s not what you’re thinking.”
“A little panicked?” my mom shot back. “I’d say we’re well beyond that.”
“Nothing has happened to me, okay? And nothing is going to. I’ve just had someone leave a couple notes and flowers on my car while I was at the bar. I found them when I got off work. That’s it. That’s all there is.”
“What did the notes say?” Dad asked.
I stared down at my lap, picking at my cuticles. It was a nasty habit I had whenever I was feeling anxious. “I . . . I’m not sure,” I lied, knowing what was written on the note wouldn’t help lighten my current situation one bit. “I don’t remember.”
“My beauty.” Everyone’s eyes shot to Raylan, who’d just thrown me right under the bus. “That’s what both notes said. My beauty. With a creepy ass-white tulip.”
I jumped in my seat when my dad’s hand came down hard on the table, making the dishes clatter. “That’s it, you’re moving back in here,” he declared as he pushed to standing.
“What?” I yelped, my eyes growing to the size of saucers.
“We’ll go back to your place and pack up what you need for a few days now, then I’ll have some of the guys help me move out the rest of your stuff later.”
I shot to my feet and braced my hands on the table to keep my balance when my legs suddenly felt like they would go out from under me. This evening had seriously gotten away from me. “Dad. No.”
“It’s settled,” he continued like he didn’t hear me. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go.”
“No. Dad, just . . . stop for a second.” I closed my eyes on a deep inhale, trying desperately to find my calm. “I’m not moving back in here.”
“Then you’ll stay with me and Rae.” I gaped at my brother. “You’ll be safe there.”
“I’ll be perfectly safe in my own house,” I shot back. “I’m not moving in with either of you. I’m staying right where I am.”
Zach gave me a look I’m sure he thought was intimidating, but had stopped having an effect on me years ago. “Your house isn’t secure. You don’t even have an alarm system.”
“I don’t need one,” I insisted. “I have animals.”
Zach rolled his eyes on a loud scoff. “Please. Out of all your pets, the most vicious is your asshole one-eyed cat. What’s he gonna do if someone breaks in, huh?”
I glared at my brother viciously. “You can talk shit about Pirate just as soon as you stop screaming like a little girl every time he walks past you.”
Zach slapped the table. “That cat is a goddamn menace!”
“I’ve taken care of it,” Raylan said, raising his voice to be heard over our argument. All noise stopped as everyone at the table turned to stare at him.
“You’ve taken care of it?” My brows climbed up my forehead toward my hairline What the hell does that even mean?”
“I called Rhodes the other day and set it up for someone from Alpha Omega to come and install a new top of the line system. They’ll be at your place in the morning.”
My mouth fell open, a flabbergasted scoff. “What?” I squeaked.
“That’s really good of you, bro,” Zach said with a nod of respect. Like his best friend hadn’t just seriously crossed a line. “Appreciate it. And whatever it costs, you let us know, and we’ll cover it.”
Raylan shrugged, their whole conversation happening around me, like I didn’t have a voice in the situation. “It’s all good. It’s handled.”
“You’re unbelievable,” I snapped, my hands fisting into a white-knuckle grip. I couldn’t believe the gall of this man, thinking he had the right to intervene in my life in any sort of way.
Raylan’s gaze met mine, all gunmetal. “I think the words you’re looking for are thank you, Chaos.”
Yep. I was absolutely going to kill him.