Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Lennix
My head had been a muddled mess since that kiss with Raylan the other night.
No matter how many times I tried to push the memory away, it refused to budge from its place at the forefront of my mind.
I felt like I was being pulled in two different directions.
One part of me wanted to be angry, to rage at him for having the audacity to kiss me like it was his right.
The other part couldn’t get over the fact that it was the best kiss of my entire life, hands down.
I hadn’t thought it was possible to get that close to an orgasm just from having a man’s mouth on mine, but that was how gifted Raylan was.
I’d nearly spontaneously combusted right there on my front porch.
It had only lasted a couple of minutes, tops, but it still managed to scramble my brain.
It had been two days and I swore I could still feel his lips on mine.
Could feel the way his large, hard body pushed into me, pinning me between the wall and all those warm muscles.
I could still feel his erection, hard and hot, pulsing behind his zipper as he rocked his hips into me.
He’d overwhelmed every single one of my senses, and I still hadn’t managed to work him out of my system.
I blew a gust of air past my lips and shook my head to clear the haze of lust that swamped me every time I thought back to that stupid kiss.
That kernel of hope I thought I’d stomped to death after our first disastrous kiss had come back to life, blooming with a vengeance, and even though it would only lead to more pain, there was nothing I could do to stop it from growing.
My sexual frustration had sparked to the point I had to take matters into my own hands—multiple times. With just the memory of that kiss and my trusty vibrator, I got off so fast it had to have been some kind of world record.
Unfortunately, it only took the edge off for a short while. Now, as I put my car into park outside my parents’ house for a family dinner, I had to squeeze my thighs together against the pressure building in my core. Talk about bad timing.
I did my best to put all things Raylan out of my mind as I headed into my childhood home. The familiar creak of the screen door helped to center me as I stepped inside.
“I’m here,” I called out as the door slapped closed behind me and the smells of home surrounded me like a soft, cozy blanket. There was nothing so stressful that coming home, even for a short while, wouldn’t help.
That was what I’d been thinking as I passed out hugs .
. . then I saw the man I was trying hard to forget over by the fireplace with a bottle of beer in his hand, and my lungs seized.
My stomach flipped and my heart started beating faster at the sight of him standing there, casual as can be.
However, as I looked closer, I could see his tension in the way the skin around his eyes and mouth pulled tight.
To anyone who didn’t know better, he appeared to be relaxed and at ease.
But I’d been obsessed with the man for years, so I paid way too much attention, and the darkening of that gunmetal gave him away.
He was pissed about something. And from the way his lips thinned out as he turned his head to meet my gaze, I had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with me.
Though, I couldn’t imagine what I could have possibly done.
Before I had a chance to ask what he was doing there, my mother pushed her way into the living room where everyone was gathered, pulling someone behind her. “Hey honey. I’m so glad you’re here. I have someone here I want you to meet.”
Warning sirens started going off. “What?”
“Yeah,” she chirped happily, jerking the guy forward. My stomach dropped like a sack of potatoes. “This is Drew. He just started as the Program Director for the Hope Foundation.”
The Hope Foundation was something my parents started years ago, not long after they adopted Zach.
My dad had also grown up in the foster system, only, unlike my brother, he hadn’t found his family until he was an adult and made one of his own.
With what he and Zach had both gone through, they wanted to do what they could to help as many kids as possible.
The foundation lead to Hope House, which took amazing care of so many kids throughout the years.
Many of those kids had gone on to do incredible things.
A lot of them even came back as adults, wanting to offer the same help they got when they lived there.
“Drew, this is my daughter, Lennix.”
Ah hell.
I offered the guy a small smile and extended my hand. “Hi, Drew. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Isn’t she just as beautiful as I described?”
“Mom!” I gaped, whipping around to shoot her a wide-eyed look. My face heated with embarrassment.
My mom had gone and done it. The further along in her pregnancy that Rae got, the worse my mother’s grandbaby fever got.
She wanted me blissfully married and knocked up so badly that she’d mentioned setting me up on a blind date nearly every time I saw her.
She even suggested I put myself on a few dating apps.
A suggestion that nearly gave my father an aneurism.
Apparently she’d gotten sick of me shooting her down, so she took it upon herself to set it up.
Rae giggled at my expense over in the corner, and I shot her a look that told her clear as day she was no longer my favorite sibling.
“Her beautiful, very single daughter,” Grandma added with a waggle of her eyebrows.
“Oh my God,” I groaned as I slapped my hands over my face.
“This is my nightmare.” Drew’s quiet, slightly nervous chuckle had me parting my fingers to get a real glimpse of him.
My mom hadn’t done bad, I’d give her that.
He was handsome in that clean-cut suit-and-tie kind of way that tons of women were attracted to, and Drew made it work really well.
It just wasn’t a look I usually went for.
“It’s okay,” he offered. “It’s nice to meet you too. And Rory, she’s even more beautiful than you said.”
I heard the soft sound of someone fake gagging and whipped my head around to glare at Raylan. He met my murderous gaze with a stare that somehow felt dark and decadent, and promised something that sent a tiny shiver down my spine. I quickly looked away, refusing to get lost in his thrall.
“Wait. You’re tryin’ to fix her up?” Zach asked our mother in an accusing tone, jabbing his finger in Drew’s direction. “With this guy?”
The overprotective big brother in him was starting to come out, and now that he knew my mother’s ulterior motives for inviting Drew to dinner, he’d suddenly decided not to like him.
It was what he’d been doing ever since I was old enough to show interest in boys.
He’d hated every single guy I dated—even if they’d been chummy beforehand.
It was one of the many reasons I insisted on keeping my love life private.
“Zach, don’t be rude,” Mom admonished.
“Excuse me for thinking family dinner should be a special, sacred”—he turned to glower at Drew—“private event.”
Rae came over and used her finger to push my jaw closed where it had hinged open at my brother’s audacity. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I spat, throwing my hand out in Raylan’s direction. “What about him?”
Zach rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “Please. Raylan’s been around even longer that you have. He’s practically family.”
I let out a scoff, but before I could get a word out, Raylan’s scent alerted me to his presence.
A subtle cloud of spice and leather surrounded me, making my core pulse and my skin tingle.
“Yeah, Chaos. I thought we were pretty . . . close.” The innuendo was subtle, but I didn’t miss it.
He crooked one eyebrow, his gaze almost daring me to react.
My body felt like one giant frayed nerve as he came to stand right beside me.
There was no way I could respond the way I wanted without causing a scene in front of my family.
Rae met my gaze and widened her eyes as she stretched her bottom lip into a face that screamed eek.
She knew all about the kiss, seeing as I called her almost as soon as I finished closing the door in Raylan’s face.
She’d spent an hour on FaceTime with me while I overanalyzed that kiss from every side.
“Zach, you’re being ridiculous,” Mom reprimanded, breaking into the silent conversation I was having with my sister-in-law.
It was always funny to watch Mom get on Zach.
He was so much bigger than she was, but she could still put the fear of God in him with a single look.
“Drew is more than welcome here. As are you, Raylan,” she added with a resolute nod.
“Thank you, Mama P.” Raylan shot my mom a wink that had me rolling my eyes. I snatched the beer bottle he was holding and brought it to my lips, taking a huge, unapologetic gulp as he glared at me. “By all means, help yourself,” he muttered gruffly.
I shot him a smug grin. “Oh, I intend to, thanks.”
I’d just taken another sip when the tip of his finger brushed feather-soft against the small of my back, right where the sliver of skin was exposed between my waistband and the hem of my shirt. I jolted at the unexpected touch, choking on the sudsy liquid and nearly spitting it all over the place.
“Sorry,” I apologized on a cough, wiping at the dribble of beer that had spilled down my chin.
“Let me clean up real quick, then we can eat.” I tried to hide the fact I was suddenly flustered behind a fake smile.
“I’m starving, and whatever you cooked smells like heaven, Mom.
” I also wanted to get this night over with as quickly as possible.
I closed myself in the powder room and braced my hands on the vanity as I tried to slow my heartbeat and catch my breath.
The sight of Raylan had been an adrenaline dump to the bloodstream, and I felt like I’d just run a marathon.
I needed to calm the hell down or I was going to be a jittery, anxious mess the whole night.
Closing my eyes and dropping my head, I worked to center my breathing and counted to ten.
“He’s just a guy. He’s just a guy. He’s just a guy,” I chanted under my breath.
Lifting my face to the mirror, I met my reflection and scolded, “Sure, he kisses like it’s his sole reason for existing, but it changes nothing. ”
I did a few more breathing exercises as I dabbed at the back of my neck with a cool, damp hand towel. I was finally feeling calmer when I reached for the knob, but that went up in smoke when I pulled the door open and found Raylan leaned against the wall directly across from me.
God, it really was unfair how gorgeous he was.
I couldn’t help but notice his blond hair was in his usual slightly rumpled, overly long style.
This time of year, there was more pale gold mixed in with the honeyed strands thanks to all the time he spent in the sun.
It tended to darken up a bit in the colder months.
Now that I knew just how soft it was, my fingers itched to dive back in and grip tight.
Before I had a chance to react to his unexpected presence, his finger latched onto one of my belt loops and he used his hold to jerk me forward.
I stumbled, falling into his chest, and he immediately buried his face in my neck, setting off fireworks beneath my skin.
A million butterflies sprang to life in my belly.
I sucked in a stuttered gasp, my core clenching desperately around nothing at the flutter of his lips against my pulse as he whispered, “You look fuckin’ beautiful tonight, Chaos. ”