Chapter Six
Jason had texted and said he was coming back Sunday and wanted to talk that day. I had wrestled with what to say to him, and I decided to keep it simple. I didn’t want to rehash the conversation about what Marcus had told me. It was pointless and all it would lead to was hurt feelings. I realized that I valued Jason being back in my life again, but as a friend. Especially since I had no idea when I would see him again after graduation. Yes, I momentarily had butterflies in my stomach from him, but it was just a temporary thing. I convinced myself that turning down a relationship was in both of our best interests. He didn’t want to be anchored down when he went off to college.
I told myself not to be upset by Marcus’ comment about Jason being okay with me being poor, because I doubted Jason had phrased it exactly that way. From these past few weeks, I had realized that Jason was still very much like the boy I had known in elementary school. He was kind and generous, and didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings. And it was true that he and I were in vastly different economic levels.
I wanted to meet Jason at a neutral place, so we agreed to meet at our local coffee shop. My stomach churned when I arrived and saw he was already sitting at a table. There were already two iced coffees in front of him. He pushed one towards me without saying anything when I sat down.
“Thanks,” I said, taking a sip. “I hope you weren’t waiting long.”
Jason’s gaze was steady as he looked at me, but he looked tired. I knew that he had only landed recently, but he had insisted on meeting as soon as possible. I couldn’t help feeling bad, even though it had been his decision to meet so quickly afterwards.
“It’s good to see you,” he finally said. “It’s been a long week.” He ran his hand through his hair, his expression turning anxious. “About what Marcus said—“
I interrupted him because I didn’t want to get into all of it. “It’s okay. I know you guys are close, and we all tell our best friend things.” I tried to laugh. “There are things that Chloe knows that need to be taken to the grave.”
Jason didn’t crack a smile at my attempt at levity. “It wasn’t his place to say anything. I asked him about it and he said he was just trying to help.”
Oh, so they had discussed me again. I tightened my hands on my lap, and tried to shake off the rising ire.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “All that stuff doesn’t matter.” I took a deep breath before continuing. “I think it’s best that we remain friends. It’s been nice catching up these past few weeks, but we’re graduating soon, and we both need to concentrate on the future.”
Jason’s expression darkened. “Daphne, what changed from before I left for California? I thought things were going well.” He looked upset, and I felt my heart lurch, but I told myself to remain strong. A momentary hurt would be better than dragging this thing out.
“Things were going well, but as friends. I just got caught up in the moment. It was nice to reminisce about when we were kids, and it was nice to spend time together, But that’s all it was for me. I don’t want anything more.”
I swallowed hard, feeling a lump in my throat. Why did this hurt so much more than I thought it would?
Jason’s lips thinned. “So we’re just friends now?”
I nodded, not trusting myself to say anything. I was afraid my voice would start quavering. I hadn’t expected the hurt on his face to affect me so much.
Jason didn’t say anything for a while, his eyes dark. His shoulders slumped and he sighed, finally speaking. “I want to try to convince you otherwise, but I guess I have to accept your decision. To say I’m disappointed is an understatement.”
I nodded my head, afraid I would cry if I said anything.
He crossed his arms against his chest. “I was going to ask you to prom. I guess that’s off the table now?”
My throat felt constricted and I was holding back tears. I told myself that I just had to get through this conversation, and then I would be fine. I didn’t want to waste money on an expensive dress for one night, anyway. It was just another example of the difference between Jason and I. Prom expenses would mean nothing to him, whereas I would definitely feel the financial dent a prom dress would make.
I waited until I trusted myself to speak before answering.
“I appreciate you asking, but I wasn’t planning on going to prom. It’s not something I’m really interested in.” The latter had been true previously, but now it felt like a lie.
“Okay, well, I guess we’re just friends now.” Jason’s mouth twisted on the word friends.
I nodded, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. “Sorry, but I have to run now. I told my mom I would help her with some household things.”
I got up, feeling awkward while Jason continued to just sit there, watching me. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”
“Tomorrow at school,” Jason echoed quietly. “Okay.”
I didn’t care if I looked like I was running away. I got out of there as soon as possible, before the tears flowed down my face.