Chapter Twenty-Two
We kissed for a long time, moving to the couch and making out like we were teenagers again. Jason didn’t try for anything more than kissing, and I was grateful for that. I wanted to take things slowly and figure out what was happening between us. Being in his arms, surrounded by his warmth, was enough for now.
After our make-out session, we cuddled on the couch. I buried myself in the crook of his arm, getting as close to him as physically possible. We sat in silence for a while, just content in each other’s company. It was broken by the sounds of my stomach growling.
Jason glanced down at me, grinning. “Sounds like somebody’s ready to be fed.”
I laughed, a little embarrassed. “I haven’t eaten much today.”
Jason tsked in disapproval. “I see I’m going to have to make sure you’re fed properly from now on. No more skipping meals.”
I didn’t want Jason leaving to pick up food, so I suggested just getting some pizza delivered. Jason agreed, and it didn’t take long for the food to arrive. Soon, we were digging into a large supreme pizza with cold glasses of beer. We didn’t talk about what we were now, relationship-wise, or how we were moving forward. We had an implicit agreement that none of that mattered. We were just living in the moment, and being together, at this moment, was enough.
I was reluctant to have Jason leave after we were done eating, but I didn’t feel like him spending the night would be a good idea. Not yet. As much as I had decided to let him back into my life, I didn’t want to become dependent on him. It would be too easy to use him as a crutch, especially since I was still scared about the sender of the letters. But I needed to stand on my own two feet and deal with whatever was happening.
The last thing Jason wanted to do was leave, but I convinced him that I was tired and just wanted to go to bed. He suggested that he sleep on the couch, but I told him that he should just come back tomorrow.
“Why don’t I come in the morning and we can have breakfast together?” he suggested. He frowned before continuing. “I forgot about your big deadline at work. I don’t want to get in the way of you getting your work done.”
I felt guilty about the lie I had told him to give myself space. “The project deadline got extended so I’m not in a crunch at work anymore.” I felt bad for lying about a lie, but I didn’t feel comfortable telling him the truth about having needed space. “Breakfast might be a little too early, but why don’t you come over for lunch and we can hang out the rest of the day.”
Jason didn’t seem satisfied with my suggestion. “How do I know you’re actually going to eat breakfast and not skip it?”
I laughed at his disgruntled expression. “Jason, I’m not a kid. I know when I need to eat.”
Jason didn’t seem convinced, but he agreed to come over for lunch, with promises of Chinese food. After he left, the house seemed too quiet. Feelings of unease crept up on me. Jason had been a welcome distraction from the threatening notes I had received, but now I had nothing to do but think about them. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out who they could be from. Absolutely no one knew about what actually happened. There had been no witnesses and I hadn’t told anyone. The thing that scared me the most was how did they know I had put up a doorbell camera? They had to be watching me.
I told myself obsessing about it wouldn’t help. I tried to stop thinking about it and got ready for bed. I was about to turn the lights off to sleep when my phone rang. I expected it to be Jason checking up on me, but I was surprised when I saw it was Chloe.
“Hi, Chloe,” I said enthusiastically when I picked up the call.
“Hey, Daphne. I’m sorry I’m calling so late.”
I frowned at the tone of her voice. If Chloe was anything, she was always cheery and energetic. But she sounded down.
“It’s okay,” I replied. It was past midnight but it would never be too late to take Chloe’s call, especially when she sounded down. “Is everything okay?”
Chloe sighed before answering. “Things between me and Gareth aren’t great at the moment. Is it okay if I come up to visit you this weekend? I need some time away.”
“Of course,” I answered immediately. “What’s going on between you two?”
“I don’t have the energy to get into it now,” Chloe said, sounding tired and defeated. “I’ll fill you in when I get there.”
The rest of the conversation was details about when she would be coming up. The weekend was a few days away, and I suggested she come as soon as possible and not wait for the weekend, but she had things at work that she couldn’t miss.
When we hung up the call, I felt a sadness settle in me. Chloe hadn’t sounded like herself, and I was worried. She was a stubborn optimist, always seeing the good in everything. I had never heard her sound so discouraged and sad. I hoped whatever the issue was between her and Gareth, it wasn’t anything serious like cheating.
I thought I would have a hard time falling asleep, between worrying about the letters, wondering what the future would hold for me and Jason, and troubled about Chloe’s uncharacteristic melancholy on the phone. But the fear from earlier had drained me, and I ended up falling asleep quickly.
The next morning, the first thing I thought about when I woke up was Jason. Whatever else was wrong in my life, he was the one good thing that made me happy. Normally, I would have skipped breakfast, but I thought about Jason’s disapproving frown if he knew. I smiled at the thought and made myself a bowl of cereal.
I spent the morning working, surprised at how productive I was. Every once in a while, thoughts crept in about the letters I had received, but I pushed it out of my mind. There was nothing I could do about it, so there was no sense in worrying. All it would do is dampen my happiness about Jason.
True to his word, Jason showed up around noon bearing bags of Chinese food. While we ate, Jason gave me the update on how renovations to his parents’ house were going.
“It sounds like you’re almost done with the improvements,” I commented, helping myself to more chicken lo mein. “Will you be putting the house up on the market soon?”
Jason shrugged. “I’m not sure. I know my parents want to sell the house, but I don’t know if I want to let go of it yet.”
“You must be attached to it since you grew up there.” I was nervous that Jason would have no reason to stay in town if he sold the house. As long as the house still stayed in his family’s possession, he had a tie to Hyattsville.
Jason nodded and then grinned at me. “We had a lot of good memories there. Remember when we flooded the bathroom when we were in second grade because we wanted to see how many things we could flush?”
I laughed at the memory. “I think it was your Spiderman action figure that caused it. I remember we panicked when the water in the toilet kept rising and we just closed the bathroom door and ran outside. Next thing you know, water is seeping out from underneath the door, and your mom is freaking out.”
We reminisced about more memories of when we were young while we finished lunch, and then moved into the living room after cleaning up. Jason put his arm around my shoulders and I leaned in, feeling full and comfortable.
“Chloe called me last night after you left,” I said, leaning my head against my shoulder. “She’s coming up this weekend to visit.”
“It’ll be nice to see her,” Jason said. “The last time I saw her was in high school.”
“It sounds like she and her husband are having some problems. She didn’t sound like herself when she called last night.” I frowned, thinking of her tone over the phone. “She and her husband have been married for two years, and from what Chloe has told me, they sounded happy.”
“I’m sure everything is fine,” Jason said reassuringly. “How often does she come up to visit?”
“Not that often,” I said, not telling him that I often discouraged her from visiting when she suggested it. I loved Chloe, but it was hard having her always try to coax me out of my house or convince me to see a therapist. I couldn’t just enjoy her company without having to worry what she had up her sleeve to try to “help” me. But when I had heard her distress on the phone last night, I had no hesitation in having her come up. The least I could for her is be there for her. For the past few years, it had felt like she was the only one who would have noticed and cared if I vanished from the world.
Jason’s implicit agreement not to bring up any of my issues was one of the reasons I could feel comfortable around him. We spent the rest of the day relaxing and just enjoying each other’s company. I knitted while Jason read a book he had brought, soft music drifting in the background. We would talk every now and then if a thought struck one of us, and then we went back into companionable silence. It had been a long time since I had felt so comfortable in my own skin, and I let myself enjoy it with no thoughts of what might happen in the future. I even forget about the threatening letters I had received.
“Should we head out to the backyard?” Jason suggested. “It’s a beautiful day.”
I hesitated. Even though the backyard was completely fenced in, I still felt a little uncomfortable being out there. I felt vulnerable being outside, even though trees surrounded most of the fence and no one could see into the backyard. I knew it was irrational, but I felt exposed. I steeled myself against the spurt of fear, telling myself the backyard was just an extension of the house. The fence gate was locked, and it was no different than being behind the locked door of my house. Besides, Jason was being so understanding about my unwillingness to leave the house, that this was one concession I could make.
“Sure,” I said, trying to smile brightly, not wanting Jason to realize I was hesitant. I didn’t need him thinking I was any weirder than he already did.
I led the way, a little embarrassed by how weedy the backyard was. I had gone out there every now and then to try and tackle the grass from getting too overgrown, but as time passed, I had gotten tired of bracing myself for going out there, and my landscaping efforts had gotten more infrequent. I had hired someone to mow the front lawn every now and then, but I didn’t want them in my backyard because it technically still felt like a part of my house and I didn’t feel comfortable with anyone invading that space.
“It’s a little wild out here,” I said with an embarrassed laugh. I walked over to the patio furniture I had covered a long time ago, since I never used it. As I started taking off the covers, I was glad that I had used them, because while the furniture had some wear and tear, it had been spared the brunt of the weather and still looked decent.
Jason glanced around the backyard while he helped me take the furniture covers off. “I can help you maintain your yard. It wouldn’t be much work at all.” He looked at me and smiled. “I’m the master of yard care. Just leave it to me.”
I smiled back at him, my heart swelling. There was such care in his expression. I must have done something good in my life to have had Jason Mayors placed in it.
My smile disappeared as soon as that thought entered my mind. I definitely hadn’t done anything good in my life. It was the exact opposite.
Jason’s brow furrowed at the sudden change in my expression. “Is something wrong?”
I shook my head, pushing those thoughts out of my mind. “No,” I lied. “Let’s sit down.”
I sat down on the wicker loveseat, motioning for him to come sit next to me. It was a warm breezy day, and I felt the tension melt away as Jason pulled me closer to him on the seat. I had felt a little nervous when we had stepped outside, but Jason’s warm comforting presence made me relax. We were quiet for a while, enjoying the sun’s rays and listening to birds chirping. It wasn’t a sound I was used to anymore, being holed up in my house, and it made me realize how much I was missing out on life.
“Daphne,” Jason said after a while. He shifted to turn to me. “I don’t want to ruin the mood, but being in your backyard, I can’t help but remember what happened the last time we were out here.”
My tranquil mood disappeared with his words. The last time we had been out here had been before college graduation, when Shelby had called him but I answered. The last thing I wanted to talk about was what happened or didn’t happen between him and Shelby, but Jason continued before I could stop him.
“I want to let you know that nothing ever happened between me and Shelby.” He grabbed my hand, as if he could impart his truth on me through his touch. “I swear, I only ever thought of her as your friend. Nothing more.”
I nodded slowly. I had to either decide to believe him and let him be part of my life, or not trust him and keep my distance from him. I had been repressing the memory of what had ended our relationship years ago, but sooner or later, my suspicions about him and Shelby would intrude on our relationship. But if I believed Jason was innocent, it would mean that I had thrown away a relationship that had meant everything to me for nothing. I didn’t know which pain was worse.
I decided that what was already done was done. There was no point in regretting not believing Jason back then. It was too late to take back my decision in the past. I decided the present was all that mattered.
“I believe you,” I said finally. “I just don’t know why Shelby would have lied to me. What would she have to gain from that?”
“Maybe she was jealous of our relationship,” Jason said. “I took up a lot of your time, and maybe she was upset that you weren’t spending as much time with her as you used to.” He sighed heavily. “Who knows.”
“It really doesn’t matter anymore,” I said, deciding to put that issue to rest. I had decided to trust and believe Jason, and it would be pointless to ponder Shelby’s motivations.
“Thank you for trusting me,” Jason said tenderly, his eyes soft. He leaned over, brushing his lips lightly against mine. The warm breeze ruffled our hair as Jason’s lips caressed mine, and for the first time in a long time, I felt truly happy.