Chapter Twenty-Six
The poor man walking his dog was bewildered by my outburst of emotion. Thankfully, the dog seemed to understand I was in distress, and nuzzled me. I was able to stand up, and reassured the man that I was fine, but asked if he could stay in front of my house while I checked inside to make sure no one was there. He started to insist that we should call the police and that I shouldn’t go back inside if I thought an intruder could be in there. I knew he was right, but the last thing I wanted to do was get the police involved. There would be too many questions, and I couldn’t tell them about the notes since it would reveal what I had done to Keith.
My terror had propelled me outside, but now that the adrenaline was gone, I felt a desperate need to get back inside my house as soon as possible. Far from curing my agoraphobia, being outside reinforced my fear that it was unsafe. Whoever had broken into my house had come from the outside somehow. I just needed to make sure my house was impenetrable.
Ignoring the man’s protests about calling the police, I went back into my house. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and checked every room in the house, making sure every window and door was locked. My heart sank when I saw not only was the window in the guest room unlocked, it was ajar and the screen door had been ripped open.
I quickly closed the window and locked it. Chloe must have left it unlocked by accident when she came to visit. At least now I knew how the intruder had gotten into my house.
I checked every nook and cranny in the house, including under the bed and in the closets. I felt pretty confident that whoever had been in my house was gone, since I had heard them open the back door and footsteps had been pursuing me. When I was done checking, I opened the front door and saw that the man was still in front of the house, his dog sitting patiently beside him.
“Thanks so much for waiting,” I called out, grateful for his presence. “The coast is clear.”
The man had a concerned look on his face, but he just nodded and continued on his walk, his dog trotting next to him. I closed the door and locked it, making sure to engage the deadbolt. I collapsed onto the couch, my body exhausted from the adrenaline and fear. Now that the immediate danger was gone, all I could think about was how long the intruder had been in my house without me knowing. It was terrifying to think how long they could have been in my house with me being none the wiser. To think they had been watching the house so closely that they noticed Chloe unlocking the window was frightening.
As my thoughts were racing, my phone rang. I looked down and saw it was Jason. I considered not answering it, because I wasn’t sure if I could sound normal on the phone, but he would probably worry if I didn’t.
“Hi, Jason,” I said, trying to sound as natural as possible.
“Daphne.” Just hearing Jason’s voice soothed my nerves. It was probably for the best that he wasn’t here, but feeling his arms around me would make me feel a thousand times better. “Sorry for calling so late. I had more meetings today than originally planned, so dinner was pushed back.”
“It’s okay,” I answered, trying to sound chipper. “How’s everything going there?”
“Is something wrong?” Jason somehow immediately clocked that something was amiss. How could he sense it?
“No, why?” I asked, feigning ignorance.
“You just sound different,” he said, sounding concerned. “Did something happen?”
“No, I’m fine, “ I reassured him. I quickly tried to think of an excuse. “I’m just tired. Work was busy today.”
“Now I feel even worse for calling so late,” Jason said. “But good news, I’m coming back tomorrow instead of Thursday. I was able to move up a couple of meetings that were supposed to happen tomorrow to today, so I can come home a day earlier.”
I had no doubt Jason had done so because he wanted to get back to me sooner. I felt both grateful and guilty for his consideration. I was hiding so much from him. He didn’t know the real me. But I was too greedy to let him go. Now that Jason was back in my life, I didn’t think I could ever let him go, even if that meant deceiving him.
I tried to make my voice light and cheerful when I told him how glad I was that he was coming back early. We cut the phone conversation short since Jason was concerned and said I should go to bed as soon as possible. Little did he know, sleeping would be entirely impossible.
After we got off the phone, I barricaded myself in the living room with every light on possible. I was too scared go to to my bedroom. I felt like I would be too blind to what was happening if I was holed up in my room.
I turned the TV on, but with no sound because I wanted to hear every single noise, even if it was just the wind blowing outside. The night seemed endless, and by the time morning came, I was bleary-eyed and felt sick from the lack of sleep. I leaned my head back against the couch, closing my eyes, and wishing I knew what to do.
I woke up in a jolt, not even realizing I had fallen asleep. I checked the time and saw that I had been asleep for about an hour. My eyes were still burning from lack of sleep, but after what had happened last night, I was surprised that I had been able to sleep at all.
Daylight gave me a false sense of security, even though I knew it wouldn’t do much to keep me safe if someone was really determined. I quickly checked the house again, making sure every window and door was locked and no one was hiding anywhere. I was desperately in need of a shower, but I was afraid that being in a small space, naked and with my eyes closed, would make me too vulnerable. I settled for washing my face with water as cold as I could get it.
I made myself a cup of coffee, knowing that it would be the first of several today. I forced myself to settle in front of my computer and work. It was actually a welcome distraction, although it didn’t stop me from jumping at every sound I heard.
I realized I was counting down the minutes until Jason was back. I was expecting him in the late afternoon, and when I heard the doorbell ring, I forced myself to check the camera to make sure it was him before rushing to open the door.
I drank in the sight of him when I flung open the door. I had been on edge the entire day, but the tension dissolved the moment I set eyes on him. He stepped in and gave me a big hug, and I felt so safe in his embrace.
Jason leaned back, studying my face. His brow wrinkled in concern. “You look tired,” he said. “Have you been sleeping well?”
I smiled, trying to brighten my expression. “I’m okay. I’ll catch up on my sleep during the weekend.”
Jason gave me a kiss on the forehead, and held up a bag I hadn’t noticed he was holding. “I brought dinner.”
We caught up as we dug into the Thai food he had brought. Jason told me about his meetings, and I was again fascinated by what he did. I was proud of him for doing work that actually made a difference in the world.
It made me feel even guiltier for lying to him, when he asked me about the days we had been apart. I glossed over the topic, just saying I had been working and not doing much of anything else. I was thankful when he accepted the answer.
After we were done with dinner and had cleaned up, Jason stepped outside to get something from his car. I raised an eyebrow when he came back in with an overnight bag.
“I figured it would be easier for me to just stay over rather than having to come over again tomorrow,” Jason said with a grin. “That way, I can make you my famous French toast for breakfast.”
I laughed, but was relieved by his presumptuousness. Jason made me feel safe, and I didn’t think I could take another sleepless night. We decided to make it an early night, because Jason could see how exhausted I was. We did nothing more than cuddle, and in Jason’s arms, I fell asleep soundly, knowing that Jason would keep me safe.
The next day was in stark contrast to the day before. I had been fraught with tension and fear, but with Jason here, I felt relaxed and happy. He made me his famous French toast, which was delicious, and then we spent the rest of the afternoon in companionable silence. Jason had brought his laptop over, and settled at the dining room table to do some work. We were both busy with work, but his presence alone was soothing. For lunch, I just made us both sandwiches, and while we ate at the table together, I found myself wishing that every day could be like this. And maybe, just maybe, with Jason by my side, I could one day venture out into the world instead of being trapped inside my house. I couldn’t deny the fact that part of the reason I was trying to rid myself of my fear was because I afraid he would get frustrated with my inability to live in the outside world. He was understanding now, but no one could put up with being with someone forever who refused to live their life.
Jason stayed the night again, and now that the dark circles under my eyes had disappeared, we did much more than sleep. I woke up tired the next morning, but for a wholly different reason.
The weather was beautiful, and Jason suggested cutting the workday short, and grilling in the backyard for an early dinner. I hesitated, but then reluctantly agreed. Jason had gotten used to me being able to spend time out there freely, and wouldn’t understand me being scared to go out there again. Not without me explaining what had happened, and that definitely wasn’t going to happen.
I gave myself a pep talk while Jason went to the grocery store to buy food for our impromptu barbecue. I could do this. It wasn’t a big deal.
I took a deep breath, and walked over to the door that led to the backyard. I had to be able to step outside into the backyard before Jason came back, because he would definitely be questioning if he saw me struggling.
I gripped the door handle, trying to block out the fear that was starting to fill me. Flashes of the night of the intruder went through my mind. I remembered the thuds coming from upstairs, the creak of the door as I tried to make my way out of the backyard, the rushing feeling of terror when I heard someone pursuing me from behind.
My heart pumped rapidly, but I tried to push down the memories. I had to do this. The only alternative was explaining to Jason why I was afraid, and that definitely wasn’t going to happen.
The first step outside was the hardest, but I gritted my teeth and continued walking into the backyard. I heard the chirping of birds, and a slight breeze ruffled my hair. I breathed in deeply, concentrating on the verdant green of the tree leaves, and the sun breaking into the shade of my backyard. I sat down at the patio table, focusing on the physical things around me. The fear and memories of the intruder started to recede, and I could finally breathe easily. I was relieved that I was able to be in my backyard again. I just wished I could as easily conquer going beyond my backyard.
I shook off my thoughts. I was happy enough that I could be in my backyard again. I would worry about the rest later. I stayed in the yard, enjoying the weather, until Jason came back with the groceries.
“You know it’s just the two of us, right?” I said, with a raised eyebrow. Jason had bought enough food to feed a party.
“Leftovers,” Jason said simply as we unpacked the bags. “We can have it during the weekend, and we can make sandwiches for lunch next week.”
My heart warmed at the way Jason just assumed we’d be together all those days. As far as I concerned, I would be happy with him staying here permanently.
Jason had bought steak, hamburgers and hotdogs to grill. I went into the kitchen to prep the sides I had told him to buy ingredients for. I made an easy tomato, basil and mozzarella salad, as well as garlicky green beans and baked potatoes with all the fixings. It wasn’t long before we were sitting in front of a feast outside.
“We’re going to need to freeze some of this,” I commented as I fixed myself a plate. “It’s so much that it’ll spoil before we get to all of it for leftovers.”
Jason opened a beer and put it next to my place setting before getting his own plate. “Good idea. Maybe I did get a little carried away with the food.”
I smiled at him affectionately. “No, it’s perfect. We won’t have to worry about food for a week, at least.”
We both made sounds of appreciation as we ate. The weather was perfect, warm with a slight breeze. It made what had happened before seem like a faint nightmare.