Chapter Twenty-Seven
After we ate, we enjoyed being outside until it started getting dark. Even cleaning up and doing the dishes was a fun task because we were doing it together. I was finishing cleaning up the kitchen while Jason went to his car to get the clothes he had picked up from his place on his way to the grocery store. Since he was planning on staying over for a while, what he had brought over in his overnight bag wouldn’t cut it.
I was wiping the counters clean when Jason walked into the kitchen with a strange look on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, crinkling my brow. That’s when I glanced down and saw Jason holding a bunch of envelopes. “What’s that?”
Sudden realization dawned that he must have grabbed my mail for me while coming back into the house. I quickly walked over and took the mail from his hands. On the top was an envelope with no return address, and my name and address typed out exactly the way the other threatening letters had been. But that still didn’t explain the odd expression on Jason’s face. There was no outward evidence that the envelope contained a threatening letter inside.
“Wait,” Jason said. Before I realized what he was doing, he had grabbed the top letter back from me. He turned it over and showed me the back of the envelope. My stomach dropped when I saw it.
In block letters, the word whore had been written across the back of the envelope. I quickly snatched the letter back from Jason. “It’s probably just some dumb kids writing crap on people’s mail. I’m sure it’s nothing.”
Jason shook his head. “You should open it and see what’s inside. There’s no return address. You should make sure it’s not from some weirdo.”
“I’ll open it later,” I said, hurriedly opening a kitchen drawer and shoving the stack of mail inside. I should have gotten my mail earlier, so there was no possible chance of Jason seeing anything.
Jason frowned, his expression growing suspicious. “You’re acting like you’re trying to hide something.”
I made a sound of disbelief. “Why would I be hiding anything?” I bit my lip, trying to think of a way to dissuade him from insisting I open the envelope in front of him. I took a quick breath, trying to seem irritated. “Besides, it’s my mail. It has nothing to do with you.”
Jason’s expression darkened. “I know something’s wrong. It’s felt like you’ve been hiding something for the past few weeks, but I didn’t want to bring it up because I didn’t want to rock the boat. But now you’re clearly trying to hide that letter.”
I panicked, not knowing what to do. The more I insisted the letter was nothing, the more suspicious it would seem.
Jason’s expression softened. “Daphne, let me help you. I know something has been bothering you.”
I took a deep breath. The last thing I wanted to do was to confide in Jason, but I didn’t know how to get out of opening the letter in front of him. I decided to try to tell a half-truth, and hope it would settle his concern.
“I’ve gotten a letter before from someone anonymous,” I explained, speaking slowly as I tried to figure out exactly how much to tell Jason. I needed to make it believable but not so threatening that he would be too concerned. “I think it’s just someone playing a prank. The letter was pretty lame, just telling me I was a bad person and I needed to repent. It’s probably some teenager that’s watched too many horror movies.”
“Open the letter and see what it says,” Jason said, frowning. “We’ll find out who sent it and set them straight.” Unfortunately, Jason didn’t seem to think what I had just told him was innocuous. He looked pissed.
I opened the drawer and took out the letter. I didn’t know how to avoid opening the letter without arousing Jason’s suspicions even more. But if he saw the contents of the letter, there was no way he was going to dismiss it as a harmless prank. The letters had gotten progressively more crude and aggressive, and I was sure this one would follow suit.
I tried to stop my hands from trembling as I opened the envelope. Before I unfolded the letter, I put a hand up. “Wait, let me read it first.”
Jason frowned, but straightened and let me have some space while I opened the letter. My hands, which I had tried so hard to make steady as I opened the letter, started shaking violently as I read the letter.
We were so close to meeting. I was so close to showing you what happens to sinners. You won’t get away with what you did. You’re a murderer and you’re going to pay. A knife won’t protect you when I get my hands on you.
P.S. You should really tell your friends to not leave windows unlocked when they visit.
Terror clutched me. An uncontrollable tremor went through me, and I felt hysteria start to rise. I had already been sure that the intruder was the letter-writer, but having it confirmed was terrifying. The fact that they referenced the knife I had been clutching when I had gone through the house to make sure they were gone, showed that even though they had fled, they had still been close, watching me.
As these thoughts were whizzing through my head, I was oblivious to Jason taking the letter out of my hands and reading it. That is, until I heard his harsh utterance.
“What the fuck is this?” Jason looked up from the letter in disbelief. “This isn’t some prank letter from a kid.”
I tried to form a sentence to try to explain, to tell some half-truth that Jason would believe, but my brain refused to work. I was in a state of shock and horror, and was in no way able to explain the letter away.
Jason grabbed my arm, almost trying to shake me out of my stupor. ”What’s going on? Tell me.”
“I can’t,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. “I can’t without you hating me.”
“Daphne,” Jason said gently. “I could never hate you. Please, tell me what’s happening. Let me help you.”
It was over. There was no point in trying to lie anymore. Jason wouldn’t accept anything but the truth. And I was tired of lying. Of putting up this facade, and pretending I was just a victim.
My voice was shaking as I started to speak, my voice quiet but firm. If I was going to tell Jason everything, I didn’t want him to misunderstand anything. He deserved to know what kind of person I was. A murderer with no repentance.
“I had been taking a long nap when a loud sound woke me up,” I said, my mind taking me back to that horrible night. “I went downstairs to see what it was, and that’s when I saw Keith standing over my mother.” I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath before continuing. “There was so much blood. It was everywhere. My mother was lying on the floor, dead, and Keith was standing over her with a knife in his hand.” I shuddered, the memory sickening me.
“At first, Keith pretended like he didn’t know what had happened. But then he revealed the monster he was. He smiled. That fucking asshole smiled after killing my mom.” Tears escaped and coursed down my cheeks. Jason had paled, and he gripped my arms as I spoke, but I was oblivious to him. All I could see in my mind was my mother’s lifeless body and Keith’s evil smile.
“He told me he would get away with it,” I rasped, my throat clogged with tears. “He said he would pretend like he had a mental break, and he would get off with an insanity plea.” I took a long shuddering breath. “Then he attacked me. I pushed him away, and he fell to the floor, hitting his head and becoming unconscious.”
Jason’s grip on me tightened, but he didn’t say anything. I continued, bracing myself for the part that would change his view on me forever.
“I called 911. But as I explained what had happened, something in me broke. This psychopath had grinned after killing my mom, and had absolutely no remorse. To this day, I have no idea why he did it. I don’t know if he had just been a monster all that time, and had been hiding it. I was afraid that he would get away with it. He would get away with killing my mother.”
My voice dropped. “So I told the 911 operator that Keith had been stabbed, too. And after I hung up the phone, I went over to his unconscious body, and placed the knife in his hand. Then I stabbed him, making it look like he had stabbed himself. And then he was dead.”
I felt Jason freeze when I got to the part where I admitted to killing Keith. I looked up, fully expecting to see disgust on his face. He looked shaken, but his eyes were fierce with anger. I assumed that anger was towards me.
“The police believed that it was a murder-suicide,” I whispered, my head dropping. “I kept waiting to be found out, for them to figure out I had killed Keith, but they never did. I spent the next three years inside my house, scared of living. And then, a few weeks ago, I started getting these anonymous notes. Somehow, someone knows what I did. I don’t know how. There were no witnesses and I never told anyone, not even Chloe.”
“Christ, Daphne.” Jason pulled me towards him, his arms tight around me. “I’m so sorry you went through this. I’m so sorry for everything that happened, for everything you’ve been through. For me not being there for you.”
I pushed back at him, making space to look up at him. “Did you hear what I said? I killed Keith.”
Jason’s eyes were intense with anger. “That asshole deserved to die. For killing your mother. For attacking you.” Jason’s expression turned sorrowful. “I should have been there to protect both you and your mother.”
I looked at him in disbelief. “Jason, I’m a murderer. I killed someone.”
“You did nothing wrong. I’m just sorry you had to be the one who had to do it. “ Jason looked anguished. “ Fuck. I should have been there.”
Jason cupped my face in his hands softly, his eyes dark and grief-stricken. “I’m so sorry, Daphne. I’m so sorry.”
Jason’s words opened the dam, and the silent tears turned into deep, shuddering sobs. Jason held me throughout it all, soothingly stroking my back. My tears were a mixture of grief over reliving what had happened, and relief that Jason wasn't disgusted with me. That he thought I had done the right thing. Because one of the things that had bothered me the most over what I had done, was the sure knowledge that I would do it again. Keith had killed my mother with no remorse. So I had done the same with him. But it had made me wonder if there was something wrong with me, that I was able to kill a person without remorse. But Jason’s reaction made me feel like maybe I wasn’t broken.
“How many letters have you gotten?” Jason asked gently when my sobs had quieted.
I hesitated before answering. “This will be the fourth one.”
Jason took a deep breath. “Daphne, you should have told me before.” He stopped himself before he could lecture me anymore. “I understand why you didn’t, though. Can I see the rest of the letters?”
I went to the drawer where I had hidden all the letters and handed them to him reluctantly. I knew that he was going to be upset I hadn’t shown him earlier when he saw what the letters said.
Jason’s jaw clenched as he read the other letters. When he was done, his eyes glinted with rage. “We have to find out who the hell is sending you these. We need to call the police.”
I shook my head, desperate in my need to keep this a secret. “No, we can’t. There’s no way I can go to the police without telling them what I did. And I can’t claim self-defense. He may have attacked me, but I stabbed him while he was still unconscious. And I lied to the police.”
Jason took a deep breath, but he didn’t dispute what I said. “We still need to find out who’s sending the letters.” His expression turned grim. “And you need to be safe.”
Jason’s expression suddenly turned thunderous. “Wait, let me see the letter you got today again.”
I handed it over to him and watched him as he reread it. It suddenly hit me that I hadn’t told Jason about them breaking into my house. The note I had received today had alluded to it. Jason would read between the lines, and I had a feeling he wasn’t going to handle that well.
Jason looked up from the letter, his expression unreadable. “What does this mean? It says you were so close to meeting and not to leave windows unlocked.”
I decided I was done hiding things from Jason. He already knew what I had done to Keith, and was supporting me. I owed it to him to finally be totally honest with him.
“I think the person who wrote the letters was in my house Tuesday night. I heard sounds coming from upstairs, and I was pretty sure it was the person who had sent the letters. I snuck outside through the backdoor and out through the backyard. I swore I heard them coming after me. Thankfully, when I got to the front of the house, there was a man walking his dog. I think he scared away whoever was following me.”
I bit my lip, knowing that Jason wouldn’t be happy with what I did next. “I was pretty sure the person was no longer in the house, because I heard them outside with me. I had the guy with the dog wait outside while I checked inside the house to make sure they were gone.” My voice dropped. “They weren’t inside the house, but they must have been watching from outside, because they knew I was holding a knife while I was checking inside. The part about the unlocked window, the guest room window was open and the screen ripped. Chloe must have left a window unlocked by accident when she was here to visit.”
Jason’s face had remained expressionless throughout my explanation, but I saw his jaw clench and a muscle twitching spasmodically. He closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath, as if he were trying to calm himself. When he opened his eyes again, I could see his effort to be calm, but the tension in his face belied his effort.
“Daphne,” he said, his voice tight with emotion. “Do you realize how much danger you were in? Why would you go back inside the house when there was a chance the bastard was still there? You should have called the police. You could have just told them someone had broken into your house, without telling them anything else. At the very least, you should have called me. I can’t believe you were in this house alone with some creep watching you.”
Jason gripped my shoulders, and I could practically feel the waves of distress emanating from him. “We need to call the police. We don’t have to tell them everything that happened in the past. We need to catch the sicko who’s been sending you letters and watching you. Hell, they even broke into your house.”
I knew Jason was trying to help, but there was no way I was getting the police involved. “I can’t show the police the letters without explaining what it means.” I put my hand up when I saw Jason about to interrupt. “There’s nothing they can do anyway. They’re not going to watch my house 24/7. They’ll just tell me to be careful and to keep my windows and doors locked.”
I took Jason’s hand in mine and squeezed it. “Please, Jason. Just let me handle it my way. I can’t…I can’t deal with the police.”
My mind flashed back to when my mom had died. Police had swarmed the house, and their faces had been sympathetic as I told lie after lie. Just the thought of having to lie again made me feel sick to my stomach.
Jason looked upset, but he changed tactics. “If you won’t call the police, you need to come stay at my place. You can’t be here anymore. Someone is watching you.” He reflexively looked out the window. “Hell, they could be watching us right now.”
I shook my head. “I can’t, Jason. I can’t leave my house.” I felt shame coursing through me. Even with everything that had happened, I was still a coward trapped in my house.
Jason frowned. “But you said you left the house when they were in here. Just think of if the same way. We’re leaving the house to escape danger.”
“I barely made it outside of my house, and then it was just to the front lawn,” I said, my voice soft from embarrassment. “And that was only because I was being chased. One of the reasons I went back into my house afterwards, even thought I knew it was a dumb move, was because if I stayed outside for one more second, I would have had a panic attack.” I dropped my head, unable to meet Jason’s gaze anymore. “I still can’t leave this house. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to.”
Jason tipped my head up with a gentle hand, and he softly wiped away the tear that ran down my face. “I know one day you’ll be free from the fear holding you inside this house,” he said tenderly. “And until then, I’ll be with you every step of the way. I love you, Daphne. I promise, I’ll never leave you again. You’ll never have to deal with anything on your own again.”
Tears streamed down my face. A mixture of love, relief and fear stirred inside me. I loved Jason so much, and to hear him proclaiming his love to me, to know he would always be by my side, was a balm to my soul. But I was scared that I would never achieve what he was so sure I would. My ability to be free.
“I love you, too, Jason,” I whispered. I couldn’t say anything more than that, as more tears streamed down my face. Jason held me close, stroking my back, as silent tears ran down my face.
“I’ll stay here with you, then,” Jason said. “I still don’t agree with not calling the police, but we’ll leave it for now.”
I was relieved that not only was Jason going to stay with me, but he was dropping the subject of calling the police. I knew this wouldn’t be the end of our disagreement about it, but it was enough that it was put on the backburner.