Chapter 20 #2
He studied her expression. Was there a hint of jealousy behind her calm words?
It was difficult to tell with Carenza, who wore her mask like a professional actor.
And did he want her to be jealous? Hadn’t he spent his entire adult life avoiding strong emotions, choosing his partners with an eye to their lack of interest in establishing a permanent relationship with him?
Allegra stood up, as did Julian. “I have to go out. I’ll tell Jones to deny any visitors for the rest of the afternoon.” She smiled at her sister. “Most of the staff are having their half day off, so you won’t be disturbed.”
“Thank you, Allegra.”
Julian didn’t miss the wink Allegra gave him as she left the room and the color that flooded Carenza’s cheeks. He sat down next to Carenza and took her hand.
“I do have some good news for you.”
“I’ll be pleased to hear it.” She met his gaze, her hazel eyes warm.
“Jeremy Calloway was behind Mr. Cox’s blackmail efforts against you and Mrs. Sheraton. He was foolish enough to put his threats in writing. When confronted with the evidence of his son’s duplicity, the elder Calloway promised to rectify Jeremy’s behavior immediately.”
“That is good news,” Carenza agreed. “Olivia will be delighted.”
“I don’t believe there was much of a connection between what Walcott’s been up to and what happened at the inn, so stopping Calloway should put an end to the threats,” Julian concluded. “In truth, I hardly think it’s worth going to all the bother of having the ball.”
“Allegra and I think it is,” Carenza said. “It is equally important to us that your name is cleared.”
“With respect, that is hardly your concern.”
“Is it not?” Carenza raised her eyebrows. “I thought we were friends.”
“We are.”
“Then we have just as much right to help you as you do us.” She frowned. “Unless you’re suggesting we’re not as capable because we are female.”
“How on earth did you assume that from what I said?” Julian asked. “I already have the upper hand with Percival Walcott. He’s lost in the courts. All he has left is his constant complaining.”
“But he’s attempting to blacken the reputations of those who are associated with you,” Carenza said gently. “That’s why it’s important to hold the ball.”
He studied her for a long moment and then nodded. “Fair enough.”
“You’re agreeing with me?”
“I am capable of conceding a point, Carenza.”
“When?”
He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Did Allegra say that we won’t be disturbed for the next few hours, or did I misunderstand her?”
“Oh, now I see. You’re being conciliatory, because you want me to take you to bed.”
“Am I succeeding?”
“Yes, but only because I am desperate to be touched.”
He drew her to her feet. “How desperate?”
Her sultry smile woke a fire in his body. “Very.”
“Then come along.” He marched her toward the door. “It’s one of those rare moments when we’re both thinking alike. We can continue our argument later.”
She took him into her bedchamber, and he made certain to lock all the doors from the inside. Her room was at the back of the house, looking out over the garden and the mews beyond, which meant no one could see them.
They undressed each other slowly, enjoying the need not to rush for a change. Despite the sunlight filtering through the windows, it wasn’t warm and Carenza’s nipples were tight. She shivered when he cupped her breast and took one nipple into his mouth.
“That’s lovely.”
“I can do so much more,” Julian said as he used his fingers on her other breast and slid his other hand between her legs to find her wet and waiting for him. “You smell delicious.”
“That’s need.” She groaned as his thumb brushed her clit, and she moved sensuously against his hand. “I never realized …”
He raised his head to look at her. “What?”
Her smile was awkward. “Nothing.”
He led her over to the bed and stripped the covers away so that she could lie down on the sheets. He climbed up and straddled her, his hips pinning her to the bed. “What hadn’t you realized?”
She sighed. “Trust you to never let anything go.”
“It is one of my most infuriating traits,” he agreed as he stroked her breasts and pinched her nipples. He’d missed her—he’d missed this. “I suspect you were about to comment that you’d never realized how good having sex could be until you’d bedded me.”
“As Hector was my only other lover, that’s hardly much of a compliment.”
“I’m hurt.” He set his teeth on her nipple, making her squeak.
“Perhaps I’ll make you reconsider that statement.
” He licked the place he’d nipped, and she groaned, her hips rolling helplessly beneath his.
“Should I fuck you hard enough to make you sore? Your nipples chafing against your stays, your clit throbbing against the starch of your petticoats? We both know how much you like that.” He slid three fingers inside her.
“Shall I stretch you here with my cock ramming into you, without thought of your comfort, concerned only with my desires?”
“Yes,” she breathed. “All of that.”
He set the crown of his cock at her entrance and slid home, making them both gasp. “And there’s more to play with, my darling. I could thrust into your mouth until your lips are tired from sucking me. Or take you here.” He fingered the tight bud of her arse. “Hard.”
She came so suddenly that it almost caught him off guard. He had to grit his teeth and hold her still until he mastered the urge to come with her.
“So very eager,” he murmured as she quivered in his arms, his heartbeat mirrored in the throb of his cock. “Now, what else have you realized?”
She mock-groaned. “That you are indeed the perfect lover? And that I will miss you when you move on to someone else?”
He stared down at her beautiful, passion-filled face. How could he ever move on from her? The question made him go still. “Carenza …”
“What?”
“Will you marry me?”
She blinked at him. “That isn’t funny.”
“It wasn’t meant to be.”
She pushed at his chest, and he rolled off her. She immediately sat up, drew her knees to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them. “That isn’t what I want, or what we agreed, and you know it.”
“Is a man not allowed to change his mind?” Julian asked.
“Not about this.” She was practically glaring at him. “I’ve explained why it is better for us to remain as lovers and friends. If you’ve changed your mind, then surely our agreement is null and void?”
“Is that what you want?”
She looked away from him. “I’m not the one who is trying to change the rules.”
“Then perhaps I should leave.” He left the bed and began to pull on his breeches. “I wouldn’t wish to distress you with my inconvenient change of heart.”
“Julian …”
He pulled his shirt over his head and tucked it into his breeches before buttoning the placket and pulling on his boots.
“And if you are going to suggest that the scandal concerning your ill-advised advertisement is reason enough for turning me away, may I remind you that I have solved that problem, and you have no more to fear from Mr. Cox or Calloway.”
“I’m not so sure that—”
“You doubt my competence?” He stared at her.
“Oh, for goodness’ sake, of course not. I still think Percival and Lady Brenton have been talking to Calloway. If he’s told them his suspicions about your involvement with the advertisement they might use them as further ammunition against you.”
“So, you do doubt me.” He made some attempt to tie his cravat, stuck the diamond pin through the mess, and put on his coat. “I can apologize only for failing to live up to your many expectations.” He strode to the door. “Pray excuse me, ma’am.”
He shut the door behind him. From the thud that shook the frame, he got the distinct impression that Carenza had thrown something at his head. As he went down the stairs, he was already beginning to think that he might have deserved it.
There was no one in the hall to show him out, so he picked up his hat and cane and left, his body as unsatisfied as his mind.
It was the first time he’d proposed to a woman.
She’d turned him down flat because of some misguided belief that he needed saving or that his offer in some way contravened their existing agreement.
He walked around to the mews where he’d left his horse and mounted up.
But if she truly cared for him, wouldn’t she have just said yes?
Perhaps her attraction for him began and ended with his physical prowess and he’d never be good enough. His mother constantly reminded him of his failures to meet expectations. Perhaps she was right.
Chastising himself for his ridiculous overreaction to the answer to a stupidly impulsive question, he went home.
He’d spend the rest of the day going over the accounts with his secretary.
He’d try to forget his temporary insanity in the far more satisfactory world of finance. Numbers, at least, never let him down.