Chapter 20
TWENTY
“You did not tattle on me to the social worker...” Raegan says when she sees me walking up to the store at the same time Kellan and she are.
Kellan just rolls his eyes, clearly tired of the teenage angst. Buckle up, because it’s only going to get worse, sweetheart. I’m not bothered by her attitude at all. I’m starting to understand with Raegan, it’s her defense mechanism. Much like Cason. She’s struggled with never having control over her own life—and now that she’s safe in a home with a big brother who’ll always protect her, she’s acting out.
Totally normal, if not a little annoying.
“Good to see you too, Raegan.”
Kellan’s grin is impossible to ignore when his eyes meet mine, and I try really hard not to melt into a pile of goo right here on the sidewalk. I cannot believe I jerked off with him last night over a video call. Who am I?
I’m normally so careful—almost to a fault—but I couldn’t resist actually getting to see him come. And it was a beautiful sight.
I quickly try to school my features as I return my attention back to Raegan. “And he didn’t tattle. He just hasn’t been dress shopping before and could use a friend.”
“You’ve been dress shopping before?” she asks skeptically.
I shrug. “My mom and I go about once a month to catch up, and I went with her and a few foster sisters a time or two.”
Her brow furrows as Kellan opens the door and allows us both to walk inside before he follows. She stops walking and turns to me. “You had foster sisters?”
I nod. “Lots.” I see the juniors section in the store and head that way. “My parents were approved for temporary care, so lots of kids came through our house when I was growing up.”
She purses her lips, and I think she wants to ask me more, but she stops herself. Like Raegan usually does. We search around for dresses, and she lands on three contenders before heading into the dressing room to try them on.
I take a seat next to Kellan outside of the dressing room. “How you holding up?”
He turns to look at me, and it’s amazing the impact a look from him has on my heart. “Wondering if it’s the right decision, letting her go to this.”
I nod my head solemnly. Admittedly, when I heard it was a high school dance with a boy two years older than her, I was worried. “She’ll be okay. It’s at the school, after all.”
“And Raegan is tough as nails.”
“Maybe a little too tough,” I say absently, but it’s clear that caught his attention.
“You think it’s fake?”
“No,” I answer immediately, keeping my voice down so Raegan doesn’t overhear. “I just think she’s had to be tough for so long. She could be vulnerable, but this is good for her to go out with friends. To go to school events and get out in the community.”
He looks a little pale, and I feel bad about being so honest. “She’s right though. Cason has the same attitude as her, and I wouldn’t have even thought twice about him going out with a girl two years older.”
“Double standards,” I say with a smile because I know society has a long way to go. “She’ll be fine.”
“Yeah.” He nods his head, like he’s trying to convince himself, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little worried about her. But I worry about all four kids, and I know Kellan does too.
When she walks out in the first dress though, I think he might have a coronary. It did not look that short on the rack.
“No. No. No.” He shakes his head and stands up. “Not a fucking chance.”
I try not to snicker. It’s not that bad, but it rides up a little too short, and there’s too much cleavage. I agree. “Maybe the next one,” I try.
Raegan’s eyes are shooting fire, but she huffs and goes back into the dressing room without a fight. She knew what she was doing.
“Gotta test those boundaries, don’t you know?” I nudge Kellan’s big shoulder when he plops down next to me.
“I think that kid is going to be the one to kill me.”
I can’t help laughing at him now. “Poor thing.” I pat his shoulder mockingly, and he growls in my direction—but all that does is turn me the hell on, thinking about his gravelly voice on our video chat last night.
I don’t think I’m ever going to get the sounds of him coming out of my head. Something I’m for sure okay with.
Asking him for a repeat is on the tip of my tongue when Raegan walks out in a more brother-friendly dress. But it’s clear she hates it, so it’s on to try number three, which happens to be the winner.
It’s black and sparkly and hits just above the knee. She’ll no doubt turn heads, though I’m not sure if Rae really wants that much attention. Kellan pays, and we all walk out to the parking lot together. I see a pretzel place and suggest it. To my surprise, there’s no eye roll from Raegan as she agrees, and I lead them both in that direction.
We sit down with pretzels and lemonade, but there’s no conversation between the two siblings. So I start one up. “So how did you meet this boy?”
Now, there’s an eye roll. “I’ve seen him in the hall since I started school. He came over and asked me out. I said yes. That’s all there is to it.”
“And it doesn’t worry you that he’s older?” I try to seem indifferent, but she’s not falling for it.
“It’s two years. It’s not a big deal.” She glares at Kellan and then looks at me. “I know he told you to ask that.”
“It’s funny you think I wouldn’t worry about that. Two years in teen years are a lot. He probably has his driver’s license.”
I see Kellan tensing, probably not having thought about it, but that’s my job. To overthink.
“He does, but why does that matter?”
“Because there’s no fucking way you’re going in a car with a teenage dumbass behind the wheel where you can wind up anywhere.”
Okay, so Kellan’s approach is a little harsher than I’d have gone with, but yes. “It’s just more to think about,” I say to Raegan carefully. “Being alone with a guy you don’t know well when you’re young. Just want to make sure you’re safe. And well, teenagers...”
“Is this a sex talk?” Raegan asks, and poor Kellan spits his lemonade all over the table. “Gross,” she scolds him, and I hand him a napkin.
“Let’s not give your brother a heart attack, okay? And not exactly, but you’re too young to have sex. You know that.”
Yeah, poor Kellan isn’t going to make it. I can see the vein in his neck poking out. Please don’t let him die. I’m not finished with him—though I suspect I won’t ever be. “I’m not an idiot,” she says haughtily. “I don’t want to have sex.”
“Thank fuck,” Kellan manages as he wipes at his face and then the table.
I smile in his direction, trying not to laugh at the relief I see on his face. I look back at Raegan. “Good. That’s very good. But things happen, and people get caught up in the moment...” Kellan is glaring at me now, but I focus on Raegan. “It’s important to know you can say no and expect him to stop right away.”
“Duh.” She rolls her eyes at me.
I see Kellan rubbing his temples. “He’s not driving you.”
“Kellan,” she snaps, but I interrupt.
“That’s up to Kellan. He’s your guardian, and if he’s not comfortable with someone else driving you, then he’s not.”
“Great. I’ll have my big brother take me to the dance.” She’s getting huffier. “Maybe have Tatum come too. Threaten to break his legs.”
“That’s a good idea.” Kellan looks intrigued, and I shake my head at him, making his face drop. “Just me. And I’ll be on my best behavior.”
“Whatever.” She sips at her lemonade, and I’m going to call this one a win. She’s following his rules, and he’s compromising.
Can’t ask for better, really.
* * *
When it’s actually time for the dance, though, I think I might be more nervous than Kellan. It’s a Friday night, and I’m finished with work, but it was decided I’d be here to help Raegan get ready for the dance—and be a buffer between Kellan and her.
I’ve barely seen them this week. Work has been a beast. I did manage to pick Raegan up from art club Tuesday and Thursday, but I couldn’t stay. I’ve been dying to at least get a late night call in with Kellan, but between my grueling work schedule, his, and taking care of the kids, we’ve both been far too tired to even pick up the phone, let alone jerk off.
Maybe soon, but I knew this thing with him wasn’t going to be easy, though I think he was right—that it’s worth it.
When I got here today after work, I made a quick dinner and then helped her with her hair and makeup before joining Kellan, Cason, Tatum, Braylen, and Kieran in the living room to wait for her. To say that Cason is not thrilled about her going to homecoming with a boy from his class and the same dance he’s going to tonight would be an understatement.
“This is bullshit.” See?
“It’s just a school dance. It’s not a big deal,” Kellan tries to placate Cason, but that’s not happening. He’s wearing nice jeans and a button-down I think he might have borrowed from Kellan. His hair is styled nicely, and even though he said he doesn’t have a date, he looks like he put some effort into getting ready for it.
“Blake is the biggest douchebag in school, and you’re letting our little sister go out with him.”
I tense at his words, as does Kellan. Tatum glares over at Cason. It’s clear he’s taken on a big brother role to all the kids too, and he does not look happy. “What do you mean douchebag?”
“I mean, he’s a fucking douchebag player wannabe. He fucks with all the girls. He plays sports and thinks he’s God.”
Tatum’s glare moves over to Kellan now. “You didn’t check up on this kid?”
“What did you want me to do? Get a background check on him? None of that stuff would come up anyway,” Kellan says defensively.
“Okay...” I interrupt. “We all need to trust Raegan and her instincts. If she says he’s nice, he’s probably just fine.”
All three pairs of eyes are laser-focused on me now, and I almost shrink back, but I keep my shoulders straight and lift my chin. They may be a little intimidating, especially together, but I know I’m right. Raegan wouldn’t take it well that they’re passing judgment behind her back. And she’s not some fragile flower who needs her big brothers to speak for her.
They all huff and fold their arms at the same time. It’s almost creepy how alike they all are. Kieran, on the other hand, looks bored as he goes back to his book, and Braylen is bouncing around the room, unbothered.
Raegan comes out, dressed in her black dress and adorably wearing sneakers. She looks grownup but very beautiful and still has that naive vulnerability I know worries me and her brothers. We all watch her until she glares at us. “What?” she snaps.
“You look beautiful,” I say with a smile and nudge Kellan.
“Uh, yeah. Very pretty.”
“Don’t be gross,” she says to him. “Are we going or not?”
Kellan grabs his keys. “Yup. Let’s do this.” Cason and Raegan head out to the car as Kellan walks closer to me, keeping his voice low. “Will you be here when I get back?”
I try not to look to see if Tatum is paying any attention, but I do hear him playing with Braylen, so I think we’re still under the radar. “I’ll be here,” I assure him, and he rewards me with a smile.
He leaves, and I sit back down next to Kieran, asking him about his book until Kellan comes back ten minutes later. Tatum leaves, and Braylen and Kieran head to their rooms, and soon it’s just Kellan and me on the couch.
“God, I wish we could go to my room,” he rumbles in my ear and sends wanton shivers down my spine.
But nope. Phone sex was bad enough. We have to be careful.
“How about we watch a movie until you have to go pick up the kids instead?”
“Oh yeah, that sounds way more fun,” he deadpans, and I squeeze his thigh gently, but that’s the only touch I allow myself before I scoot over and leave a little space between our bodies.
You never know when a kid is going to come barreling down the hall in this house.
“I need another date soon,” he says, leaning his head back against the couch as I choose a movie.
“I think that can be arranged.”
The way he looks at me, so heated, it makes my blood pump harder in my chest and okay, head down south, but I’m being good.
“How about next Friday?” I suggest.
“I’ll talk to Tatum and um... make sure he keeps Braylen out of trees.” I chuckle at that.
“Good luck. I think that child will find something to climb inside instead.”
“Maybe we can skip dinner and just go straight to your place, just in case.”
I swallow hard at the implication, and now I know I’m the one who looks like a kid on Christmas, my excitement palpable. “Yes. That. Good plan. You’re very smart.”
He laughs, but we make it a date. When he goes to pick up the kids from the dance, I stay with the younger ones until he gets back. After quick updates and some teen attitude—finding out the dance was fiiiiine from them both—I head out and back to my place, confirming through texts one last time that we will get our own date night next week.
Now I just have to get through the work week while it drags along, thinking about the sweet man I’ll get to have in my bed.