Chapter 25
TWENTY-FIVE
I rush home, my heart in my throat and not sure what the hell is going on. You know how I said everything was calm, but the storm was coming—well, here it is. At least I think.
I was at work when I got a call from Cason, telling me to come home. That was all he said before he hung up, but I could hear someone sobbing in the background. Rae. I think it was Raegan.
I push through the front door and holler for Cason. When he calls me into Raegan’s room, I fly down the hall and stop in the doorway. I see her on her bed and Cason kneeled down in front of her.
Her body is shaking, and she’s been crying, though she’s quiet now. “What happened?”
Cason looks at me over his shoulder, clearly shaken. I’m not used to seeing either of them this way. They’re both either really pissed-off or they don’t show feelings—nothing ever like this.
“Don’t,” Raegan says to Cason.
He stands and glances at me before looking at her. “I have to tell him. He’s our guardian, and he needs to know.”
I feel like I’m coming apart at the seams, about to fall right here as I try to catch my breath and wait them out. She just looks away from him, clearly not happy, but he walks me out into the hall.
“Where are Braylen and Kieran?”
Cason nods toward their room. “I told them to go in there and listen to music.”
“What happened?”
He looks back into Rae’s room and then walks me even further away, keeping his voice down. “I don’t know. She won’t tell me, but when I got here, I passed Blake on the way in. He was bleeding from his face, but he didn’t stop to talk.”
“Wait. Blake was bleeding?”
Cason nods grimly. “I was too surprised to ask what happened, but I felt like something was wrong. Really, really wrong. So I came in to check on Rae, and I found her shaking and crying. She wouldn’t talk.”
Fuck. That doesn’t sound good.
“She didn’t say anything?”
He shakes his head, and I watch as he clenches and unclenches his fists at his side. He’s clearly terrified, and so am I. I don’t know what happened, but I know it’s my job to figure it out. “Go take a break. I’m going to talk to her.”
“She’s not going to tell you.”
“I’m your guardian, remember? I at least need to try. I need to see if she needs medical attention.” I swallow down the rising bile in my throat, wanting to find Blake and tear his head off. But I know Raegan needs me more.
Cason heads down the hall and out the back door, and I try to calm myself before going back into Raegan’s room. “We have to talk about it, Rae.”
“We really, really don’t, Kellan,” she says, not looking at me. Staring at the wall instead.
“We do.” I sit down on the edge of her bed, giving her as much space as I can but still showing her I’m not going anywhere. My mind briefly trails to Phillip and what he would do right now. He’d have no problem getting her to talk, but I know from watching him I need to keep my voice level but not patronize her.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not.” Okay, so Phillip wouldn’t argue with her. But this is still me, and she’s not fine. I know she’s not. “And I’m not.” Her head snaps in my direction in question. “Not until I know what happened.”
She sighs, her small shoulders sagging. “Fifth period, Blake came to my locker and asked me to skip the rest of the day. I didn’t really want to, but he has this way of making me feel guilty when I say no...” It takes everything inside me not to make a fist and think about slamming it into Blake’s face. But I manage for now. “We came here since no one was home.”
My stomach is twisted up as I wait for her to continue. “What happened?”
“He started to kiss me, and it was fine...” she says, but I can see fat tears welling up in her eyes, and I want to at least punch the wall if I can’t find Blake. But I remain sitting.
“Okay... what changed?”
“This is embarrassing, Kellan.” She looks horrified, but she has to know she can talk to me.
“I’m your brother. It’s not embarrassing. You have to talk to me, Rae. You have to know you can trust me. I know I fucked up with you guys before, but I’m here now, and I’m doing everything I can to make it up to you. Please. Just tell me what happened.”
“He kept trying to reach into my shirt, and I told him I wanted to stop. That it was moving too fast. He called me a bitch and then actually leaned in like he was going to kiss me again. So I broke his nose.”
Okay... I do still want to kill the fucker, but thank fuck she knew how to do that. I’m guessing I can thank Cason for that. The big brother that he is.
“Why are you smiling?” Am I?
“Because I’m proud,” I answer her honestly.
“I messed up. I skipped school and brought a guy home, Kellan. You shouldn’t be proud.”
“I’m not proud of that, but I’m proud of you for saying no and then breaking his face when he didn’t take no for an answer.”
She just shakes her head subtly, and I know she’s still suffering from it. She probably will for a while. “It could have been so much worse. If I didn’t know how to break a damn nose or if he still kept coming at me after...”
I try to listen to Phillip’s voice in my head—what he would say. If I kill him, that’s a felony, and I really won’t be able to take care of the kids from prison. It keeps me in my spot.
“It’s not your fault, Rae.”
“But...”
“No,” I shut her down because she can’t blame herself for this. “You should have been able to trust your boyfriend. Even when you chose to do something dumb and skip school, you should have been able to trust him. This is on him. Not you. His actions. Do you want to report this?”
I want to tell her that I’ll hold her hand the entire time, but I know she would definitely refuse then. “No.”
“Rae... you were assaulted.”
“If anything, I assaulted him.”
“You defended yourself against an assault.”
“I don’t want to, Kellan. Please don’t. I’m fine.”
I don’t like him getting away with this, but I also know the system sucks, and it would likely end up a he said, she said scenario, which would just end up dragging my baby sister through the shit. “If you change your mind, I’ll go with you. It’s your call, but if you need anything, you let me know.”
“I will,” she says, but I can tell she’s growing more and more agitated, so with a quick hug, I leave her alone to give her some space and run right into Cason, who’s pacing outside the door.
I walk with him to the kitchen and grab a drink of water for my parched throat. “She’s okay, Cason.”
“Are you sure?”
I nod my head. “He tried to push her further than she wanted to go, and she broke his nose.”
“I’m going to kill him.” And I see that murderous glint in his eyes—one I felt myself. But I’m not so sure Cason won’t act on it.
“You’re old enough that they’d try you as an adult.”
I think he’s going to tell me to fuck off or get angry, but he actually smirks with a quick scoff. “So you’re saying it’ll have to be Kieran who does it?”
“Or Braylen,” I say with a quick answering smile.
“Is she really okay?”
I nod my head slowly. “I think so. She’s shaken up, but she’s okay. I’m glad you were here.”
“I didn’t do anything. I wish I knew what happened before that fucker slid out of here.”
“If you weren’t here, we probably never would have known about it. And you were there for Raegan. That’s all that matters. Guys like him, he’ll get what’s coming to him. You can’t do anything, Cason. You really could get into trouble.”
I see the conflict on his face, and I know what he wants to do. But I’m grateful when he seemingly relents.
I make a quick dinner and let the kids eat wherever they want. But when it’s bedtime, I ask Tatum to come over, just in case they need something, and I make my way to Phillip’s place.
When he opens the door, I just rush into him, my arms wrapping around him. He holds me, confused and worried, but not pushing me to talk just yet. We move to his couch, and he just holds me. “Are the kids okay?”
I nod my head, but don’t let him go for a little bit longer. Finally, I tell him everything that happened, and he listens quietly, a look of horror and anger on his face, strangely combined with the sort of serene calm I’m getting used to from him.
“Do you think Cason will listen to you?”
I lean my head on his shoulder, which should probably feel odd, given our size difference, but it doesn’t. He strokes my hair, and I close my eyes, leaning into him. “I hope so. I want to beat the shit out of the kid, but I know we can’t. Cason knows too.”
“I’m sorry, Kellan. That’s so traumatic for all of you.”
“I just need her to be okay. Do you think I should have pushed for her to tell the cops?” I’ll be honest, my first thought is never to call the cops—never has been. My mom was a junkie, raising us around a bunch of other junkies, so when the cops came, it usually wasn’t to help us. It sent our lives into more chaos every time.
Mom would get locked up, and we’d go into foster care. Over and over.
“I think you need to trust Rae but also keep an eye on her. If she starts spiraling downward, you’ll need to get her some help.”
I nod. Therapy. Oh joy. But if he thinks it will help and Raegan needs it, I’ll make sure she gets the help she needs.
“It’s going to be okay,” he says against my ear and then kisses my cheek. I turn my head and capture his mouth with mine, sweeping us both into a soul-stealing kiss that will have to tide me over for a few days before he comes over again.
I need to get back home to the kids, but I’m grateful for the quiet reprieve he provides.
I needed it. I need him. I don’t think I could ever do this on my own. But I also know I don’t want to.