Chapter 28
TWENTY-EIGHT
I’m worried. Beyond worried . About my boyfriend—who I love and who’s apparently in love with me. Because this day was a lot. It’s so much for one person. But when he comes through the door with Cason, he looks... okay.
I mean, drained and tired and weary—but not like he’s totally spinning out, and that gives me some hope.
I talked to Kieran a little bit about the bully at school, but he’s a tough nut to crack. He didn’t want to talk about it, and I finally relented and let him go to his room to read and decompress.
I’m going to trust Kellan to handle that because I have all the faith in the world that he can. Cason—he’s another story. He’s a powder keg, ready to go off, and I think he might be the one who’s the most like Kellan—even if they don’t realize it.
“Where’s Kieran?” Cason asks me, his gaze deadly serious and cold.
“He’s okay. He’s relaxing. How are you?”
I can see his face and knuckles are bruised, but he looks otherwise physically okay. “I’m fine. I’m going to check on Kieran.” He doesn’t word it as a question and just takes off down the hallway.
Kellan looks dead on his feet and slumps down onto the couch. “What happened?” I ask as I sit down next to him but keep my distance, even though I want to wrap myself around him.
“Blake happened.”
I take a deep breath and release it, my anger intensifying. “The fight was with Blake? Did something else happen with Raegan?”
Kellan covers his face with his hands, and I can feel his tension from here. “Nothing new. Well, not physically. He was talking shit about her, I guess, and Cason got pissed-off. Hit him, and another poor kid got in between them.”
Well, I don’t condone violence normally, but... “He had it coming, it sounds like.”
Kellan drops his hands and turns his head to look at me, surprised. “Are you allowed to say that?”
I grin. “Off the record.”
He laughs slightly at that, but his face goes grim. “I still can’t believe he did that. I’m going to lose them.”
“No. You aren’t,” I say firmly, wanting so badly to touch him. To reassure him.
“He punched two other kids. He’s suspended. For an entire week. That looks terrible on the report.” He’s keeping his voice level, but I can tell he’s close to full-on melting down.
“Do you think you can get away tonight?” I ask very quietly.
Still, he looks behind him toward the hallway and then back at me, keeping his voice low. “Maybe.”
“Okay, I’m going to start dinner. Raegan and Braylen should be home soon. I want to talk to Cason, and then I’m going home. Meet me there when you can, and we’ll talk.”
He grins, devastatingly transparent. “You going to make me feel all better?”
I smile, the need to kiss him clawing at my insides, but I keep it quelled. “Yes. Any way I can.” Promising him all the things without saying one word, but I can see it’s relaxed him.
After dinner, I ask Cason to walk outside with me for a moment on my way out. He’s not thrilled, grumbling all the way out the door, but he does it. “What?”
I sit down on the front porch—it’s been repaired by Kellan and Tatum recently, so there’s no risk to my life in doing so. “You know you can’t do that again, right? No matter how angry you are.”
Cason doesn’t sit next to me. He leans against the railing instead. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
“Except I do. He hurt your sister, and you wanted to make him pay. But you’re now suspended, and it does have to go into my report.”
“Seriously?” he snaps. “You’re going to put it in your report? Why? I thought you were our friend, Phillip.”
“I’m your friend. But I’m also the social worker assigned to your case. It’s my job to report things like this.” Maybe I’m being extra paranoid, now that I’m breaking all the rules with Kellan. I need every bit of the rest of the case to be legitimate. I have to do my job so I know I’m not blurring lines. With any other client, I’d report it.
“So it’s best for us to go back into the system?”
“You won’t,” I say with total confidence. It would take more than just one incident. “But it can’t happen again. This was handled, and between you and me, justified. But they won’t see it that way, especially if you keep fighting with Blake.”
He sinks down onto the step next to me, his shoulders slumped, and he looks defeated. I’m not used to seeing Cason look like this, and I don’t like it one bit. The kid has fight—he’s had to. “I was the one who was there. Always. I had to keep her safe, and I let her down.”
“Raegan?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
“When Kellan left, it was up to me. I kept Mom as safe as I could. I kept Raegan, Kieran, and Braylen safe, no matter what. No matter how many beatings I took, I didn’t care. It was my job to keep them all safe.”
That’s too much on a kid, but I don’t say that. He doesn’t want to hear that.
“I didn’t even think about the rules or fucking up our case with social services. I just saw red because I wasn’t there to keep Raegan safe, and then I heard Blake talking about her...” He shakes his head, and I feel bile creep into the back of my throat. I’m not even sure I could have stopped myself from doing something. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit him, and I definitely didn’t mean to hit Liam. I was just so angry.”
My heart breaks for him. This is the most real Cason has ever been. “Listen to me. It’s going to be fine. It has to go into the report because the school could easily report it, but I promise you, I’ll make sure they know the whole story.” He doesn’t look so sure, but I’m confident this will just be a small blip. “Next time, you can’t settle it with your fists. I know how much your siblings mean to you.”
“Why are you so nice to us?”
His question takes me off guard, but I try not to show it. “I’m nice to everyone.”
“You sure about that?” I’m a little uneasy with the way he’s looking at me right now. Like he knows something, but I try not to give it away. We’re very careful around the kids. No way he knows anything.
“I’m sure,” I say and stand up, needing to get out of here. Cason has had to be good at reading people to navigate his world from a young age, and we’re getting closer to being able to tell all the kids the truth. The right way. “I have to go. But please stay out of trouble.”
“I will,” he says, his voice level and his mask slipping back into place.
* * *
“I’m going to lose the kids.” It’s the first thing Kellan says when he walks into my apartment, and I can see in the time it took him to get the kids settled and Tatum to come and take over, his worry has multiplied.
“Come with me,” I say, taking his hand and leading him to my bathroom. This isn’t about sex, but I can’t help pressing a kiss to his mouth, taking my time to taste his sweet mouth.
The kiss lasts longer than I mean it to, but when he melts into me, relaxing for the moment—I just sink into it. I slowly remove his clothes and mine, taking in every second and every bit of his naked flesh. He’s hard, and so am I. But it really, truly isn’t about anything more than comfort for the time being.
I run us a bath and put lavender bubble bath into the water before he lowers himself into it, and I lie down against his front, letting his arms come around me.
“Kellan, you aren’t going to lose them. You’re a fantastic guardian to those kids. No one in the world loves them like you do and never could,” I say, letting my hand move through the bubbles, relaxing back into his big, strong body.
“Braylen had to get stitches.” His arms go tighter around my middle. “Raegan was attacked by her boyfriend.” I reach one hand up and let it drag over his forearm. “Kieran is being bullied, and Cason is getting suspended for fighting. No one is going to look at that and think I’m doing a good job.”
I hate that he sees it that way. “Braylen is a ball of energy, and he bounced right back. He’ll likely get hurt again, but not because he isn’t loved and taken care of.” I turn around in his arms and smile when he still holds me close, just wrapped around my back now. Water splashes over the side of the tub, but neither of us are too bothered by it. “Raegan is a strong girl, who can handle herself but doesn’t have to because she has plenty of people watching out for her. But she didn’t do anything wrong, and neither did you. You can’t control everything that happens to them, Kellan.”
“But I want to.”
I smile at that and cup his face in my hands. “Welcome to being a parent. Pretty sure that goes with the job.”
The right side of his mouth kicks up ever so slightly, but I know he’s still terrified. “Kieran will be okay. The school and you are now aware he’s being bullied, so everyone can and will watch out for him. Trust me, I’ll make sure. I plan to be a total menace to the school over the next few months at least.” Finally, I get a full smile now. “And Cason—” He sucks in a deep breath, probably assuming he’s going to be the deal breaker. “Cason has lived so much life in only fifteen years. It’s hard for him to step out of the caretaker role. He wants those kids to just be okay, and he doesn’t even realize he’s one of them.”
“I don’t know how to keep him in line. I thought I’d explained that he can’t hurt Blake. But I guess he didn’t get the memo.”
“He knew, but he snapped. It happens. He was defending his sister. It’ll go in my report.” I hold onto his face and look him directly in the eyes. “I’m not going to let you lose these kids. Ever. Trust me.”
“I trust you,” he says emphatically, and I lean in to kiss him hard, quickly losing the battle with my own brain when it says we should talk more because the time for talking is so over for the moment.
I grind against him as we kiss, needing him badly in the moment—although, it feels like I need him more and more every day.
“Bed.”
He nods against my mouth, and we climb out of the tub, quickly drying off but unable to keep our hands off each other. When we make it to my bed, I grab the lube and a condom before pulling his body on top of mine.
“You know, I was thinking...” I say breathlessly, my hand dragging over his back. “Since we love each other and all...”
“What?” he asks sounding confused, probably wondering why I’m still talking—honestly, same. But I have a point. He sucks on my neck, hitting a spot that makes me moan, low and deep, my entire body feeling on fire.
“Maybe we don’t need a condom.”
He pulls back at that, his hands resting on the bed beside my shoulders. “You want that?”
I nod eagerly. “Badly. I want to feel you inside me with nothing between us.”
He’s breathing heavily, and for a moment, I think maybe it was too much too fast. But then he surges forward and kisses me hard. “I want that too.” He groans as his hard cock slides against mine, and I arch my back up into him. “I really fucking want that.”
“Me too. I’m negative.”
“I haven’t been with anyone for a while. But last time I was, I was tested, and I’m negative too. I’ve never not used a condom.”
“Okay then, get inside me,” I say with a smile, kissing him hard before I flip over onto all fours, presenting my ass to him, unashamed by how badly I want him. Today was stressful. And it’s time for a little relief before we both have to go back to our lives.
I shudder when I feel his hands move to my ass, splitting me open, and he’s quiet and still for a moment. Making me wiggle and silently beg him to get on with it. What I don’t expect—like not at all—is for the brush of his tongue over my hole.
I jolt with pleasure, his tongue touching every nerve ending and my cock going completely rigid between my thighs and leaking precum. “Oh holy shit. Yes.”
I can feel him smiling against my rim, and if he didn’t swipe his tongue over the puckered flesh right at that moment, I’d have cursed at him for teasing me. But he swirls his tongue over my entrance, eating me out like he’s starving and making me writhe and moan, humping against the bed.
“It’s good. So good. So very good,” I babble, but it’s not the time to be embarrassed.
He reaches for my cock, stroking it as he pushes his stiff tongue into my hole and licking my insides. I swear I nearly blackout from the intense pleasure. My toes curl, and I thrust into his hand. My balls are full and aching.
“Wait. Please. I’m going to come. I want you inside me,” I gasp, kind of hating myself when he pulls his mouth away from my ass, but then I hear the click of the lube and the sound of him slicking his cock before his fingers move to my hole. It’s too good. Too much. And I nearly come when he massages my prostate with two fingers, but then he removes them and replaces it with his thick cock.
We both groan when he’s fully seated, the head of his cock pressing against my prostate. I brace my weight on my arms and roll my hips, begging him to move. He keeps his big hands on my hips, digging into my flesh, and I know I’ll have bruises tomorrow.
I already can’t wait to see them and touch them, knowing how badly he needed me right now.
He starts to pull all the way out and then thrusts into my body, taking me. I push back against him, giving myself over to him completely. He’s pounding my prostate, and it doesn’t take long or any stimulation before I’m coming and screaming his name as my cum sprays all over my comforter.
He tenses, and then I feel the heat of his release deep inside. I don’t want him to leave my body even after he strokes into me three more times and his orgasm fades. I fall into the wet spot and couldn’t care less when he blankets my back and kisses my neck softly.
“You’re perfect.”
“You’re everything,” I say, turning my head and finding his mouth, just as he approaches for a kiss.
I’m in so deep here, and it’s terrifying.